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... Send *elschatbox a private message | | | *elschatbox's profile:Hello, everyone. My name is Melanie and I live in Louisiana. I'm just here to lend an ear and help if I can. I'll always try to listen fairly and not judgingly. I've had my own turmoil in my life since my teenage years. I got married when I was 28 and still am married! Struggling though, everyday on maintaing my marriage. We have a long distance relationship....and it is really tough. I have 2 dogs that keep me company.....thank goodness!!WEll....hope I can help.
Melanie |
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Married but want my friend to be more!
Q. Dear Cupid..... I have been married for almost four years. I met a nice man about a month before the wedding, and we are great friends.... but i want there to be more. It is destroying my marriage because i cant talk to my husband about it, and it i...
A. 16 March 2007: Tough situation....
Well, not really. It comes down to if you love your husband. I didn't hear you say you're in a bad marriage or your husband isn't fulfilling your needs. Sounds to me like you want to have "extra" on the side...and that never wo... (read in full...)
My question is she coming on to him when saying you must know me quite well by now or am I just being totally silly
Q. Hi everyone Before I start I just want to say that a yes or no answer will do. Yes for there is some flirting or more and no for absolutely no substance. Thank you everyone. The question is: My partner and I are in our early fifties. She is ver...
A. 13 March 2007: Doesn't seem flirty to me...but not appropriate professional language in my opinion.... (read in full...)
SITE NEWS: Had DearCupid changed your life in a positive way? I want to hear your stories...
Q. Has DearCupid changed your life in a positive way? If so, please let me know. Either post here (anon if you prefer) or send me a private mail. Sometimes when I'm coding at midnight or tinkering with an errant database, or wondering wh...
A. 2 March 2007: Yes, DearCupid is a great resource for communication. Getting views on your problems or giving advice from different parts of the world....what else can you say?? That's awesome technology. Having this site doesn't allow you to feel alone with your ... (read in full...)
After the pill, my period has become very light. Could I be pregnant?
Q. I was on the pill for about a year and then stopped for a few months. I started taking it at the start of my period. Now my period is very light. I dont know whether this is normal or whether I am pregnant?...
A. 28 February 2007: IF you've had unprotected sex and are not on the pill anything is possible. But, if you restarted the pill correctly ...one of the benefits of the pill is usually that it lightens the flow of your cycle and the number of days it lasts.
... (read in full...)
My girlfriend hates me using condoms, I've never NOT used one! Where do I cum?
Q. Got quite weird question, im 23 y.o and have stable relationship at the moment, thing is that i never had sex without condom before.. and my GF hates them, and want's to have sex without condom ofc. Since i was always using condom due to only had ...
A. 19 February 2007: First off, do the two of you have a backup method? And, are the two of you monogamous? B/c STD's are the pits if you get one!! Herpes, Chlamydia, gonorrhea....no I haven't had any, but I did work for a gynecologist. And, their awful. What is her ... (read in full...)
He was the love of my life...how can he stop loving me..just like that? Help me understand
Q. Please can I have some advice! I met my NOW ex- boyfriend 8 months ago. From the very first moment he saw me I could see he fancied me.. he even stuttered when he spoke to me. He made all the effort and I was chuffed because all the other girls in ...
A. 17 February 2007: Hi. I like Sams question: Does he make you feel strong on the inside? If not..then just keep looking and chalk this one up to a learning experience. It's interesting to me though, that you're first intimate relationship only lasted 8 months. Mine ... (read in full...)
Is there such a thing as a "f*** buddy?"
Q. Is there such a thing as a "f*** buddy?" I know this girl for a long time, since school, we're both 19 now. Everytime though she always seems to break up with her bf's, this is where it gets complicated. She always looks for comfort from me, ...
A. 14 February 2007: Well, obviously there are f%%% buddies b/c you are allowing it. Don't allow such casual sex at the risk of screwing up a perfectly good relationship. And, it's not fair to sleep with this girl and then sleep with your girlfriend....ever considered ... (read in full...)
Has anyone got any tips for moving on?
Q. I got dumped about a week ago, but I'm finding it really hard to let go of my ex. I can't stop thinking and hoping that we'll get back together. Has anyone got any tips for moving on?...
A. 14 February 2007: First thing you should know is...WE'VE ALL BEEN THERE and IT HURTS LIKE HELL. There's no magic number as to when you'll be over him. It just takes time and alot of soul searching. The thing you have to remember is "You don't want to be with someone ... (read in full...)
I flirted with someone, felt him and he rubbed my breasts, is this classed as cheating?
Q. Hi I need your help, I love my boyfriend to bits, I would do anything for him. Last year I flirted with a guy I knew, my boyfriend is ok with me flirting, but I let him touch my breasts and I rubbed him. I NEVER kissed him or had sexual intercour...
A. 14 February 2007: It's not that you were able to do this with another guy that bothers me...it's the underlying reason as to why you felt the need to ??? Sounds like you should do some soul searching...
It's not cheating.....but it's certainly questionable beha... (read in full...)
I fear his granny is coming between us. Help!!!
Q. Dear All, I have a boyfriend and we have been going out for half a year now. We adore each other and feel that we want to spend the rest of our lives together. He was brought up by his grandparents because his father left them not much after h...
A. 14 February 2007: Hmmm....you are probably right, there is some jealousy there. On both your part and granny's. Understandable, sure. How to change it?...Most of the changes will have to come from your b/f and how he treats granny and you. He'll have to start ... (read in full...)
My BF of 5 years just can't compromise and I think I want to end it!
Q. Should I finish with my boyfriend? I planned with my boyfriend to do something this weekend for our 5 year anniversary. But then he got invited to a stag-do weekend, so we cancelled it. I thought at least we can spend valentines together, but th...
A. 14 February 2007: Well, honey the last thing you want to do is "pick" a fight right before your b/f goes away for the w/e with the guys. I understand where you are coming from, he should've considered your feelings more than his buddies. But, here's what I think ya ... (read in full...)
I get on great with this girl, she said I'd make a great boyfriend (she already has one) how do I play it?
Q. Searched through the site to find a similar situation but couldnt find one! Recently, I've met a girl and we are getting on unbelievably well. We have so much in common and have talked and talked for hours. We make each other smile, cheer each ...
A. 14 February 2007: I agree with Dr. John. Unless, she is giving signs that's she's really into her current b/f...I say just being yourself will get her to like you even more. You sound like a great catch!! Good Luck.... (read in full...)
I boyfriend and I want to have intercourse so badly but he can't seem to penetrate me. Any ideas?
Q. Hi, I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 18 months now, and we have been trying (and failing) to have full intercourse on an off for about 15 months now. At first he had problems with getting and maintaining an erection. Now the ...
A. 14 February 2007: First sexual encounters are often difficult. I assume he can't penetrate you b/c you are whincing in pain?? Breaking the hymen...it's a fold of mucous membrane which surrounds or partially covers the external vaginal opening is painful. You will ... (read in full...)
How can I get rid of my jealousy?
Q. how can i stop being so jealous?...
A. 13 February 2007: To rid yourself of the evil green monster you have to start focusing on yourself NOT the thing your jealous about. For instance, if your jealous of someone else's body...start working on yours. Believe me you'll feel better and realize your just as ... (read in full...)
She had one missing condom in the box. I know I didn't use it--so who did?
Q. been with my girl for 6 months..love her, trust her, ect..about 3 weeks ago she bought a box of condoms b/c we both decided we should start using them b/c of the possibilty of getting pregnant. I have been sick for the past 2 weeks and have not been ...
A. 12 February 2007: Are you ready to start mistrusting your girlfriend when you can't even remember if you two opened a condom together or not? ....Sounds like you two haven't used condoms before...check the fridge for a cucumber with a raincoat.... (read in full...)
Are there guys out there, that don't look at other pretty women when they are with me?
Q. my ex really did not care to look at other females- I know this because every time we were together and even when females in bikinis passed by he really only concentrated on me and didn't care to look.... he wasnt interested at all... my new ...
A. 12 February 2007: My husband isn't an obvious glancer and I like that!! I give him the same respect. Now, if I'm out with the girls or he's out with the guys I KNOW your more inclined to check out members of the opposite sex. I think what's important is that you ... (read in full...)
Bf has herpes and I am resenting all the restrictions we undertake, to prevent me catching it. What should I do?
Q. My boyfriend has genital herpes and now the fun beginning part of our relationship is over, I'm starting to think I'm missing out. I enjoy sex without a condom, obviously we can't do this, and I also love the intimacy of just making love whenever ...
A. 11 February 2007: Well, it is your problem as it is his. That's the way all sexual relations should be thought as. IF he would have kept this to himself and infected you...you would be writing us another question ..more like "how could he not tell me"! He's doing the ... (read in full...)
I like a man 22 years older than me, is the age gap too much or do we have a chance?
Q. Hi! It is bizarre to ask for some advice but maybe you girls can provide some useful tips... I adore this man much older than me, divorced with a 13-year-old son (I am 29 and he will soon turn 52 years old). He has felt attracted to me for 5 y...
A. 9 February 2007: Yep,
Tip #1 Stay away
Tip #2 Stay away
Tip #3 If that wasn't enough to make you stay away, nothing will. If you tempt fate, you two will inevitably get involved in some, shape, or form. I suppose it has a 1 % chance of working out..... doub... (read in full...)
Help! Who should I choose?
Q. Hi my names mike and Im 13yrs old. I have been going out with my girlfriend for about 3 months now.I was recently at the mall with my friend my friends girlfriend and one of my friends (also a girl).The first thing the girls wanted to do was to go ...
A. 9 February 2007: Who should you pick? Obviously, if all this girl had to do was show you her bra to get you to think about dropping your g/f, you never really liked your g/f in the first place. 13 isn't the age to be devoted seriously to any girl, anyway. I say, ... (read in full...)
Can long-distance relationships work?? If so, how?
Q. I was just wondering if anyone knows of any long distance relationships that worked out, and if yes, how did they/you make it work?.. I mean, long long long distance, as in, different countries. I'm in love with a guy who lives in Australia. He has ...
A. 8 February 2007: Good advice, Jessie! :)
I do have to say though, that I agree with Blue Rat. I'm currently in a long distance relationship and it is not going well at all. We are married, btw. I agree, no amount of cards, phone calls, texts, gifts, etc. equate t... (read in full...)
Torn apart by jealously and rejection!
Q. My boyfriend dumped me because of my jealousy and also because i believe that he misses that excitment you have at the start of a new relationship thats why i now know why he has had a lot of girlfriends. How can he buy me flowers and a teddy on...
A. 8 February 2007: Here's a positive response: There is more than one soulmate out there for you!! I mean it, there is!! It hurts now, but in time you would find someone you loved just as much and loves you right back!!! If there were only one soul mate, we'd all be ... (read in full...)
Should I just ignore it as a viscious prank?
Q. My Husband got a Valentines Card from someone implying they are sleeping with him. Hi, I just want a little advice really. I have been with my husband for 9 years and we got married 5 months ago. Yesterday he got a Valentines card through the...
A. 8 February 2007: Well, 50/50 it's a prank. You'll have to either trust him or this will be the point that everything he tells you .....you will doubt. I hate being in that doubtful spot....it can wear you out! So, if hubby truly seems sincere and the odds are in his ... (read in full...)
Is this normal?
Q. i lost my virginity last night! and i was so shocked it didnt really hert! was abit awquid and compforable but was ok! however im kinda sore 2day is that normal? and i had a little bloody 2day but didnt last night?...
A. 8 February 2007: Yes, normal.
... (read in full...)
I can't stand anyone else being with my mum
Q. how can i tell my mum i no longer love her and i want to move out? im 13 and hate my mum to bits, people say its impossible to hate ur mum, but i really do, she has really hurt me ((not in a abusive way)) and shes been with this man a year and ...
A. 8 February 2007: Ohh, sweetie....sorry to hear about your dad. He sounds like a great man. Your mom may think that finding a new guy is what she needs to move on.?? I don't know...I can't judge her situation. But, I do know, she would want you to be as happy as you ... (read in full...)
Do men ever change?
Q. Does anyone have any advice on how to get a fun-loving, women (plural) loving, playboy-of-a-kind guy to be more serious? Do men ever change? What would you get one for Valentine's Day? ...
A. 8 February 2007: Honey, I don't think he'll change. To be a flirt is inbred and genetic in some men..IMO. If you want the commiting type, you may have to start over and just cut your losses.
Happy Valentines Day! :)... (read in full...)
Is it true that sex can bring a couple closer or is he just pretending?
Q. i am in this relationship for 2 yrs not engage but do have a sex life i think my partner is loosing it for me.nAlways talking about how good i was even though he is my first i am not a pro. Is it really true that sex can bring people closer in love ...
A. 7 February 2007: Did you mean to post DO NOT HAVE A SEX LIFE? If that is the case, yes most intimate relationships develop into a sexual one. And, yes you do feel closer with your mate (usually). You share passion and intimacy with each other on another level, ... (read in full...)
Is width and depth of vagina proportional to brest size of the female?
Q. Is width and depth of vagina proportional to brest size of the female? Intention behind this question is: I am from a society where I cant have sex with partner before marriage. So how can i know sexual compatibility (like too tight/wide etc?)...
A. 5 February 2007: You won't know sexual compatibility until you have sex. That's my take on it. However, I assume that if that rule applies to your society....that you would be marrying a female from that society also?? Well...then she's a virgin and you have nothing ... (read in full...)
Should I break up with him if he doesnt get me anything for Valentines??
Q. My bf havent gave me a gift on holiday but i did give him a belt as my present for him, are guys like that? My bf just dont want to give me anything.i knew he had money to buy one,but does it shows the he dont love me or dont want me to be happy? ...
A. 5 February 2007: If he has the means to buy you a gift, take you out somewhere, or cook you dinner and he doesn't.....then, yes I say dump him. Life is too short not to be given a little extra attention. If he doesn't value your feelings now, it will only get worse ... (read in full...)
Are my feelings for him...simply close friendship or real love?
Q. Hi, I'm Altindie and for obvious reasons, I'd like some relationship advice. I met my current boyfriend over the internet. We chatted simply as friends, every day for about two years before we decided to take the plunge into boyfriend/girlfr...
A. 5 February 2007: Sweetie,
Even though you have had somewhat of a relationship with this fellow for 2 years, it wasn't a face to face one. Yes, emotions over the internet FEEL stronger. The explanation for that I think is in your mind you can escalate the height o... (read in full...)
How do I get over this massive crush on my friend's brother?
Q. I'm 16 years old, and I have a massive crush on my best friends older brother. I think I may be in love with him. But, Im not sure. To make matters worse, my other friend likes him too. Hes 19 and in college. I know I need to get over him, but I ...
A. 5 February 2007: Crush: a strong but temporary attraction for someone
That's the definition. It hurts like heck, it's one of the most intense attractions you'll ever feel. Trying to talk yourself out of having one ....doesn't work. You can rationalize all about ho... (read in full...)
Is it normal to have these imaginary flirtings in your head?
Q. Is it normal when nobody is around except you and to like pretend there are people and talk and stuff ..in your head or out loud. Like, you can even look over and imagine they are there. Today i kinda did that and kind of imagined hanging out with ...
A. 4 February 2007: Nah, no need to tell him. WE all have fantasies or desires that we fulfill in our heads. That's all it is. He has some of his own fantasies, I'm sure.... (read in full...)
Should I continue my affair??
Q. I have been maried 15 years. Over the last 5 years my wifes sex drive has been in decline whilst mine has increased. We now have sex very rarely . I practiclly have to beg for sex but she wont give in. I recently made contact with an old friend a...
A. 4 February 2007: First of all, you are kidding yourself if you believe that you can go back to just being friends. You stated, that your friend is aware you are married....like that was honorable of you to mention to her....Um...sir??? What about your wife's honor? ... (read in full...)
What is the 'average' size??
Q. I'm worried that my penis is too small and just wanted some advice on the average size???...
A. 4 February 2007: Okay, I AM NOT MALE! But, I did google your question. Here was what one website said:
Penis Size:
* The average penis is five to seven inches (127 to 178 mm)long when erect (measured from the tip of the penis head to the abdomen).
*... (read in full...)
I'm 25, male and I've fallen for a 15 year old female online! Do I go for it?
Q. Hey there i'm not regular to this site but hope someone might like to give me advice. . . . . . I'm a 25 year old man, i do not have a job as I quit a few months back and I'm a writer. . . I drink most nights a week and live with my parents....
A. 2 February 2007: I couldn't agree wth EDDIE more!!! As you wrote your statements about getting with a 15 year old, I hope you had an ounce of reality slap in you in the face!!! Utterly, disgusting and predatorial behavior. This girl is a minor....leave her alone. ... (read in full...)
When I lost my viginity I bled a little. But now every time I have sex I bleed a lot afterwards. Is this normal?
Q. when i lost my virginity i bled a tiny bit, but since then i have had sex about 7 times (quite reguarly, like 2-3times a week) but i have bled more after each time. im not talking like a dot of blood, but alot - alot more than when i lost my ...
A. 2 February 2007: Here's my speculation on your problem:
1.) Maybe the hymen did not break/tear correctly and you are still suffering through that
2.) You are having sex for the sake of having sex. Hence, your not in the mood so your body is not lubricated w... (read in full...)
I ask her out and she ignores me! What can I do?
Q. please help i realy like this girl and i keep asking her out to her face but she ignores me she thinks im joking around and ignores me by doing this how do i tell her my true feelings despite what other people. Thanks L.knighton...
A. 1 February 2007: I think she knows your not joking....sorry, she's just not that in to you. Find another girl....... (read in full...)
My husband keeps chatting with women on adultfriendfinder!
Q. hi i dont know where to start last year i found out my husband had joined adult friend finder and a couple of other sites he was emailing women arranging to meet them when i told him i had found out he said he wouldnt have done anything i know he ...
A. 31 January 2007: Wow, good job! You really pulled it off! I think at this point he's broken a promise. You had every right to see what he was up to. What is the root of your husbands curiosity? Does he talk dirty with them, need a friend, or what's his deal? I'd ... (read in full...)
I think he's gotten too close to his female friend. But am I looking too much into this?
Q. me and my b/f have been together for almost 4 years everything was perfect until about 6 months ago. i suffer from depression and he was unsure how to handle the situation and he turned to a close friend who happens to be of the opposite sex. now ...
A. 31 January 2007: First loves are the hardest to break off!! They're all you know. The unfamiliar seems so scary...and you hate the thought of putting that much effort into a new guy. Well... from what you've said ..I think this relationship deserves some mental ... (read in full...)
I like this guy and he seems to be showing an interest, but I'm not sure if he's gay or not. How do I get closer to him?
Q. I'm a guy. There is this guy in my photography class. He has shown a lot of signs to being gay, like the way he talks, his movements etc. Even a few of my friends have said they thought he was gay. I've caught him looking at me a few times and ...
A. 30 January 2007: Hmm... I would suspect that you need to ask him something after class. Get his opininon on one of your photographs. (not you personally..lol, but one you've taken)One's sexuality whether hetero or homosexual is always assumed one way or the other. ... (read in full...)
Im confused... What could he possibly be thinking about!?
Q. Alright, my ex and I have been broken up for about 3 months. We talked this weekend which mainly included me crying and explaining how I viewed the break up. He had broken up with me. He said that he wanted to think about a few things and for me ...
A. 29 January 2007: WEll..he's not sure if he wants to have a relationship with you at all. He broke up with you 3 months ago, and may be feeling like he made the right decision. Sorry, I know that hurts, but that's what I'm reading in to your note. I've gotten the ... (read in full...)
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