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... Send *ddie a private message | | | *ddie's profile:Hi there. I go by Eddie. I'm from Canada. I have a great wife and two great kids, both teenagers. I've been with my wife for 21 years and we dated for two years before that.
I enjoy travel and learning new things. Different cultures interest me and what makes them tick. I think there is always a reason for the way certain cultures do things and many times we are too quick to judge things that we find odd.
The more places I go and the more people I meet, the more I see that we are so similar. Everybody is trying to enjoy life but we are all influenced along the way by the stuff that "happens". The trick is to learn from the lessons and carry on. I have a short fuse for infedility and take marriage very seriously. It's not from personal experiences either. I just don't understand why people don't seem to fix the problems in their marriages before they create more. I see lots of questions on this site pertaining to this topic, that's why I added this part. |
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| Latest articles: Why do people think the unattached person in a love triangle is a victim?
This question has 9 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 September 2007: Why is it that people get involved in love triangles and feel rejected when they don't work out? Why do so many agony aunts treat the third member of the triangle as a victim? I'm tired of hearing people reccommend.... "distance yourself from hi...
Fidelity and marriage
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 May 2007: Many times, we see questions asking for advice about marriage, monotony and fidelity. I tend to be cut and dry on this topic and often without compassion for the person struggling in this area. What bothers me most, is the ability of people to ...
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Slept round my girlfriend's house and he broke up with me coz he didn't believe me! What should I do?
Q. I slept round my girlfriends house for the weekend and the next morning i get a text message saying its over! I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years im 18 and he is 20. I slept round my girlfriends house as we work together and have to get ...
A. 17 June 2007: You're setting yourself up to live the life of a loser. Think about this, you're worried about a drug dealing, jealous creep and his attitude towards you. Set hire standards for yourself.... (read in full...)
Do a lot of people cheat?
Q. my boyfriend and i got into a small debate. i know some people that have cheated, but it does not seem to be something that many people do. he knows many people that have cheated, and it makes him a jealous person, because he sees everyone around ...
A. 17 June 2007: Most people don't cheat. Many people do though. What is true is this, there will always be temptations and opportunities to cheat. We have boundaries to respect to help keep our relationships in tact. People with integrity do not cheat. ... (read in full...)
I cheated with a guy from work. He said the sweetest things. Now I find out he said exactly the same thing to another girl!! What can I do to get revenge?
Q. There is a guy in my office who has always been a really good friend. We have been working together for about 4 years and his mom is my manager. He recently started telling me how much he likes me and how he has always had a thing for me. I ...
A. 17 June 2007: Do you also hope your boyfriend hurts you the same way you hurt and potentially humiliated him? It's time to grow up and act like a mature adult instead of making maters worse.... (read in full...)
He told me today he can't leave his wife for me...
Q. I have a best friend who declared his undying love for me but he is married to a very dominant lady whilst he is very weak and he had decided a while ago he was leaving through unhappiness but didn't. His wife stopped us seeing each other because ...
A. 16 June 2007: His wife stopped you two because she sensed something was going on. She was correct. She got a vibe from her husband because she knows him inside out and back wards. Married people pick up on that stuff.
You were not friends either. You migh... (read in full...)
Her boyfriend is a jerk and I'm looking for a reason to make the moves on her
Q. I've know a girl for about 6 months. For most of that time she's been going out with someone else. Just before she and him got together I was trying to get up the courage to ask her out (generally speaking, I'm not very shy socially but when it ...
A. 14 June 2007: Well, you're not really a friend of hers. I don't say that out of disrespect but out of honesty. I don't think we can be "just" friends with people we're attracted to. There is always something more lurking in the background. We can be friendly ... (read in full...)
I don't trust my fiance because he doesn't report his location with 100% accuracy 100% of the time
Q. im having trust issues with my fiancee. he broke my trust by telling me that he'll be as a certain place but he landed up somewhere else, and so, i have problems now when he tells me that he will be here or there because of that previous lie...at ...
A. 14 June 2007: Did he lie or just change his plans. If he just changed his plans and didn't bother to call in to Checkpoint Charlie (you), what's the big deal. If he made a calculated choice to lie, then you have to figure out why. Do you question everything ... (read in full...)
Her boyfriend is a jerk and I'm looking for a reason to make the moves on her
Q. I've know a girl for about 6 months. For most of that time she's been going out with someone else. Just before she and him got together I was trying to get up the courage to ask her out (generally speaking, I'm not very shy socially but when it ...
A. 14 June 2007: You're putting yourself on a high pedestal. Is it possible your views are a little jaded since you like his woman? Also everyone you ask this question to, in your group, is going to take your side. That's because you're asking people you know to ... (read in full...)
Marriend and looking for extramarital sex with no strings
Q. How do I find a discreet sensual partner without ties? I am a mature man with longstanding domestic committments but with a still strong sexual interest. My partner has had no interest in lovemaking for a long time and I am very frustrated. I ha...
A. 14 June 2007: You already know the answer to this question. There are all kinds of people with little or no integrity. Finding one should be no problem.
If what you need is sex and your getting none at home, fix it or leave. "I have no intention of... (read in full...)
Do you think this is boarder line stalking?? Should I try to adjust my driving time to sync up with her again and see if I can chat at the gas stations?
Q. Hello, my name is Rob. I’m a guy, who needs a woman's opinion and advice. I know this might sound crazy but I met this woman while driving to work. We both travel a major roadway for about a 40-mile drive. We have been waving and saying good morning ...
A. 13 June 2007: It is border line stalking. She made it hard to read by replying to your card. It was nice she responded. You did get her attention, but if a stranger approached my wife, she'd owe him no phone call. Sometimes people try to be extra friendly when ... (read in full...)
Hooked up sex-wise with a guy on myspace... but it turns out he is married and has kids (his wife called me)!!!
Q. OKK, please dont label me as a homewrecker or a slut.. I recently got out of the army and i met this guy on myspace, i know pathetic, but he seemed really nice. In fact, he is better than nice, i think hes perfect(besides the whole cheating thing) ...
A. 13 June 2007: You're bad and he's worse. The good thing is you can change your status because you entered this in an innocent way. Now that you know the truth, if you continue, you're as rotten as he is. Instead of using the truth to twist this mess into a ... (read in full...)
Should I just accept this guy will be a primary friend in her life? Or is there more?
Q. Should I just accept this guy will be a primary friend in her life? Or is there more? Sorry for the length. My GF is recently divorced, I'm separated (my divorce final w/in 3 mos). We're both in our 40's. We dated back in high school/colleg...
A. 12 June 2007: Great reply Irish (as usual). Here's the deal. Before friendships, spouses or anything else, the law of the jungle exists. We are attracted to others. The only thing separating us from our attractions and our actions, are our commitments.
... (read in full...)
Things are great all the time except when we run into a VERY flirty girl.
Q. I have been with this wonderful guy for 10 years. We recently got engaged a few months back. Things are great all the time except when we run into a VERY flirty girl. Problem is, instead of my man giving the flirt the cold shoulder he flir...
A. 12 June 2007: What is your definition of flirting? It's possible he might be flirting while it's also possible you're insecure.
If someone smiles at him and laughs, is that flirting? if someone makes small talk at the bar, is that flirting. Flirting... (read in full...)
Regretably after weeks of her turning into a text addice I gave her the ultimatum... show me the phone or I'm off!
Q. my partner and i have split up after four years recently. we have two children and everything was going ok until recently. the last few months was approaching the 1st anniversary of her father passing away and her behaviour has been strange. ...
A. 12 June 2007: I think it might be possible she's up to something. Your leaving has given her the opportunity to back out of your relationship without looking bad. The proof is you're already begging for forgiveness.
What's with all the texting? If my wife ... (read in full...)
Who should I pick...the woman that I promised to stay with or the woman that I am in love with...?
Q. I Have been in a relationship for over 5 yrs with a woman that is 20 years older than me, I love her but I don't think i'm in love with her. I have a house and her family loves me but our mutual friend is someone that takes my breathe away...we,ve ...
A. 12 June 2007: What do you mean by...... after six and a half years we are "still" in love. If you were in love all this time, what has the relationship with the older woman been about? In reality you've been cheating emotionally all this time. It's no wonder ... (read in full...)
32 and don't feel like making love to my hubby!
Q. i have been with my husband for 14 years and we have 3 children. We are quite well of and want for nothing material.The problem lies with my lack of sex drive. When my husband turns me on then yes i'm up for it and enjoy it but it's not one of my ...
A. 11 June 2007: This is a very common problem. Were the two of you more sexually active when you first met? I'd bet you were. That is quite often the "bait" men fall for. There are a million jokes about it. There is also some truth to it. You see, his sex ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is pregnant but the little slip of paper I found makes me worry she's cheating!
Q. My girlfriend and I have recently found out that we are expecting a baby. She is excited as well am I. While she was at her parents house, which is 45 mins away from where we live, I was going to read her baby books to learn some things. While ...
A. 11 June 2007: It could be anything but you kind of ruined the chances of finding out the truth when you called the guy. What would you expect him to say. I would have done a little more investigating. Why didn't you ask your girlfriend?... (read in full...)
Is this RAPE???
Q. I dont know what to do about my boyfriend. A few nights ago when I came home from work, he asked to have sex but I was too tired. He seemed understanding so I just went to bed. I woke up during the night to find him thrusting his penis in and out ...
A. 10 June 2007: I really don't want to question you, but for a moment, I'm going to take the role of his lawyer.
I don't know how a man could actually get to that point with a woman while she was still asleep. To actually get on top of a sleeping person, ... (read in full...)
Worried my insecurities will ruin what we have!
Q. I have a wonderfall retionship with my partner of 7months but i have a problem with jealousy, because of past relationships were i have been cheated on, I trust my girl and i no she would not hurt me but i fear my insecurities mite ruin what we ...
A. 9 June 2007: The MOST important thing here is your ability to see that you are jealous. That is the most important first step. Now you have to figure out where it comes from.
What does she do that makes you feel jealous, if anything? What sets you off? Yo... (read in full...)
Should I leave my fiance for this other guy I met online??? I don't know what to do for the best.
Q. hi i have been with my fiancee for nearly 2 years and i think i am fallin out of love with him i cant stop texting this bloke i met off the internet i fancy him like mad and he says he likes me to but wem cant get together as we live 3 hours apart ...
A. 8 June 2007: You are living in a fantasy. You need to get away from the computer and concentrate on what you have in front of you. Something tangible !! How can your fiancée fight for your love when you aren't giving him the opportunity(because you're ... (read in full...)
My fiancee flirts with other guys and looks at her ring all the time...
Q. I always thought of myself as level headed and well able to understand things around me, but over the last year my relationship has seemed strange to me. I'm engaged and my partner constantly looks at the ring I bought her....her choice of ...
A. 7 June 2007: It sounds to me like you might be a little over sensitive although you could be correct about some of your assumptions.
Weddings are a HUGE event for women so maybe she is a little let down about the ring. People end to lose their sense of what'... (read in full...)
We're having an affair - he only talks about my physical aspects! Am I being used?
Q. i have been having an affair for 1 year with a man who has a partner he tells me he loves her but, what does the but mean. also he says one thing but his actions show me something else, he has told me he is smitten with me he also cannot keep his ...
A. 5 June 2007: It's strange how people justify doing the wrong thing because it suits them. People steal because the want money, the cheat because they want to manipulate results, they lie because they are afraid to face the truth and they commit adultery because ... (read in full...)
If I kiss another girl on the cheek as in a greeting, I feel I'm cheating! Is this bad?
Q. hi this may sound like a stupid question but ive been with my girlfriend for 6 months, i just wanted to know that is it a bad thing to kiss another girl who is a friend or sumone you'r being introduced to as a matter of politeness on the cheek like ...
A. 4 June 2007: I wonder why this bothers you so much. Were you possibly attracted to the other woman or paying too much attention to her? I don't believe that you don't find other girls attractive. That is a little naive. Was she flirting with you? Otherwise, ... (read in full...)
My new girl wants me to blackout the face of my ex on college photos... is she asking too much?!
Q. My gf wants me to blackout the face of an ex-girlfriend who i was very in love with from my college grad pics. she is in pics w/ myself, family, and other guests. i graduated in 2002. we broke up 4 years ago. i have the pics on pc and hard ...
A. 4 June 2007: Your past happened. You went to school, you graduated and you were with another woman. Those things helped make you what you are today. The person you are today is the one she likes. If you give in now you'll only reinforce her behaviour. ... (read in full...)
Falling in love with a married woman...
Q. Help! I think I am falling in love with a beautiful married girl who lives only a few doors away from me. Whenever we meet, we flirt and gaze adoringly at one another - and always end up in a passionate embrace which I always hope will never end. I ...
A. 4 June 2007: Well, you can't trust her because she's a flirt and an adulterer and you won't be trusted because you're willing to be with a married woman. The small community won't trust either of you because you're flaunting the affair in public.
What ... (read in full...)
We're having an affair - he only talks about my physical aspects! Am I being used?
Q. i have been having an affair for 1 year with a man who has a partner he tells me he loves her but, what does the but mean. also he says one thing but his actions show me something else, he has told me he is smitten with me he also cannot keep his ...
A. 4 June 2007: You said he's smitten with you. So, he's not in love...he's in smit. Really though, that's the least of your problems. What difference does it make, yo're married.
What your asking is this, can you please advise me on if I should carry on... (read in full...)
Should I trust her alone with my boyfriend?
Q. i met this girl at a job that i had and we became cool. i also met a guy there who became my boyfriend. One day me and my boyfriend went out and he said that she was going to open up her own business and gave her number to him. She never ...
A. 3 June 2007: There will always be peole around who like your guy. How are you going to monitir this? You can't. You have to make sure he is trustworthy. Don't be silly about it either. If she gets out of line, tell him she's disrespectig your relationship. ... (read in full...)
Should I trust her alone with my boyfriend?
Q. i met this girl at a job that i had and we became cool. i also met a guy there who became my boyfriend. One day me and my boyfriend went out and he said that she was going to open up her own business and gave her number to him. She never ...
A. 3 June 2007: There will always be peole around who like your guy. How are you going to monitir this? You can't. You have to make sure he is trustworthy. Don't be silly about it either. If she gets out of line, tell him she's disrespectig your relationship. ... (read in full...)
Why is it that most (well nearly all) paedophiles are men?
Q. Why is it that most (well nearly all) paedophiles are men?...
A. 2 June 2007: I don't have a great answer for that. It seems to be true though. Men who like kids are on the extreme end of the scale. Whether we like it or not, some things are just the way they are. It's not politically correct to say certain things either, ... (read in full...)
I have never had a female talk to me the way she does without having deep feelings for me. HELP!!!!
Q. I am in love with a friend of mine. We are both in our late 40's or so. I would have bet my life on the fact that she was falling in love with me as well. Our flirting was so obvious that some people noticed it and said things. However in January I ...
A. 1 June 2007: What are you thinking????First and most importantly...SHE'S MARRIED !!!!Nothing else matters....Second, emails sound can be very deceicving and misunderstood. Stay out of her marriage. How can you derive pleasure out of an action that is so ... (read in full...)
I have never cheated on my boyfriend of 4 years but he's got it into his head I have and it's driving me mad!
Q. I have been going out with my partner for over 4 yrs now. But i am at the point now of deciding whether or not to end it. There is a considerable age gap between us and perhaps this plays its part in the problems. My partner does not trust me nor...
A. 1 June 2007: This willnot end until he controls you. By giving into his wishes, you will only reinforce his madness. You should not pay the price for a crime you haven't committed.... (read in full...)
He taking a female friend to the cinema and I'm jealous. How do I deal with this 'jealousy bug'?
Q. My boyfriend recently bumped into an old friend and agreed to go to the cinema with her, just the two of them. I felt a bit uncomfortable with this so asked if he could take a friend with him just to put my mind at rest. I know he loves me, and i ...
A. 1 June 2007: i understand your worry. Of all places, I don't understand why the cinema. Mostly, I think you should have been invited too. Why not. How much catching up do they need and when was the last time they saw eachother. If I was going out with ... (read in full...)
How would you react if your new boyfriend told you his last girlfriend had "a lovely big pair of tits"?
Q. hey girls id like your opinion. How would you react if your new boyfriend told you his last girlfriend had "a lovely big pair of tits" sorry to use this kind of language- these are his words not mine...
A. 1 June 2007: It depends on the conversation. If you were talking about stuff like that then you get what you get. I'm sure he didn't just blurt it out. Tits are tits, who cares. Maybe they were nice. Maybe he likes yours too. It was a stupid comment if he ... (read in full...)
Me and my girlfriend had a huge argument and she hit me!
Q. Me and my girlfriend had a huge argument and she hit me. I dont mean like a slap a full on attack. I dont know what to do i really love her, im walking round with bruises all over my body. This isnt the first time she has lashed out at me wha...
A. 1 June 2007: You're in an abusive relationship. She should be reported to the authorities and arrestd. Nobody should be abused. Some people try to control others by these means but it's not appropriate.... (read in full...)
I am in a very unhappy marriage and have fallen in love with someone who is also unhappily married.
Q. I am in a very unhappy marriage and have fallen in love with someone who is also unhappily married. We so much want to be together it hurts being apart. What is your advice....
A. 29 May 2007: My advice is to figure out why your marriage went in the wrong direction, instead of making another bad choice. You see, instead of choosing to fix what you originally committed yourself to, you chose to cheat, creating more uncertainty.
It's ... (read in full...)
My husband says he is burnt out in our marriage...
Q. I need some help with my marriage..To give you an idea of my relationship: Hubby is 37 I am 32..we have 2 girls 4, 9. We have been together for 11 years...married for 6. My husband recently told me he is burnt out on our marriage..the rest of ...
A. 29 May 2007: Well I don't agree you should run to a lawyer for a divorce. That would be foolish. Try to go to counseling for couples and see if you can find out what is wrong.
For someone to tell you to do otherwise is really doing you a disservice.... (read in full...)
Is it right to spend time with the opposite sex when you're with someone else?
Q. Is it right to spend time with the opposite sex when are you in a relationship with someone else?...
A. 29 May 2007: It depends on what your true feelings are. And the other persons feelings too. You see, when two people have a relationship, trust is expected. We cant' really control what third parties do although we can try to keep ourselves out of bad ... (read in full...)
I'm in love with an unhappy married man!
Q. I'm in love with an unhappy married man and he wants to leave his wife but she is controlling his every mood. what should i do to help him get out of that and be with me were he want to be?...
A. 29 May 2007: It' not your business to determine what mood he's in or why. That is between him and his wife. The faact you're involved, only makes it more difficult for him to make the proper choice. If you don't get involved with married people, this type of ... (read in full...)
Jealousy, physical fights...will he ever change?
Q. I,ve recently split with my partner again for the 4th time. I gave up my job and friends 4 him he promised he change, we've had loads of physical fights cause of his jealousy now he's promising yet again he change. I've heared it all b4 but this ...
A. 27 May 2007: Most people who are jealous, can not change on their own. You know if he has anything to be jealous about. If the answer is no, then he needs to work on his issues.
What you must realize is this, the more you give in to his jealous ways, th... (read in full...)
Met up with an old flame for lunch and he ws nervous! What was going on with him?
Q. Hi, I'm a 29 year old woman, been married almost 8years with a 4year old son, fairly happily married. Recently i bumped into an old flame from high school(first love) haven't seen each or had any contact for 14years. We exchanged numbers and met ...
A. 26 May 2007: If you have so many unresolved feelings about this guy and his thoughts, why do you want to keep this potential disaster alive? You're heading down the wrong path, you know it but you're enjoying the attention.
"Fairly happily married"... (read in full...)
I really don't know what I should do, should I cheat or keep suffering???
Q. I have been seeing a guy for about 5 months officially we were casually seeing each other for about 4 months previous, we started out as friends but there was loads of sexual chemistry between us all the time. When we first slept with each other it ...
A. 24 May 2007: Why would you want to cheat? Have some integrity and do things in the proper order. Work on what you've got. If it doesn't get fixed, move on. Do it with your honor though. Cheating is just another ingredient in this complicated story. How do ... (read in full...)
I've been cheating on my boyfriend... what do I do for the best?
Q. i am not in love with my boy friend anymore and have been seeing someone else behind his back what should i do ...
A. 24 May 2007: Why do people always start at the ending and work back to the appropriate beginning? The honorable choice would have been to resist cheating until you were no longer involved with your boyfriend. You didn't do that and it 's too late to change ... (read in full...)
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