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... Send *ddie a private message | | | *ddie's profile:Hi there. I go by Eddie. I'm from Canada. I have a great wife and two great kids, both teenagers. I've been with my wife for 21 years and we dated for two years before that.
I enjoy travel and learning new things. Different cultures interest me and what makes them tick. I think there is always a reason for the way certain cultures do things and many times we are too quick to judge things that we find odd.
The more places I go and the more people I meet, the more I see that we are so similar. Everybody is trying to enjoy life but we are all influenced along the way by the stuff that "happens". The trick is to learn from the lessons and carry on. I have a short fuse for infedility and take marriage very seriously. It's not from personal experiences either. I just don't understand why people don't seem to fix the problems in their marriages before they create more. I see lots of questions on this site pertaining to this topic, that's why I added this part. |
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| Latest articles: Why do people think the unattached person in a love triangle is a victim?
This question has 9 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 September 2007: Why is it that people get involved in love triangles and feel rejected when they don't work out? Why do so many agony aunts treat the third member of the triangle as a victim? I'm tired of hearing people reccommend.... "distance yourself from hi...
Fidelity and marriage
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 May 2007: Many times, we see questions asking for advice about marriage, monotony and fidelity. I tend to be cut and dry on this topic and often without compassion for the person struggling in this area. What bothers me most, is the ability of people to ...
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Is it true that women don't like sex?
Q. I carry this predisposition about women that they don't like men, sex and any kind of male intimacy. May be based on my mom's attitude. Also i find it inadequate if the women i am having sex with doesn't like it or has a negative impression about it ...
A. 26 June 2007: I think that women do enjoy sex but on a more mature level than men, generally speaking. Women tend to have sex as a result of a mental bond where as men have sex merely because the opportunity arises.
There are many jokes about women doing it... (read in full...)
We're considering marriage, am I right to let myself be bothered by his kids from a previous marriage?
Q. So, my boyfriend (10 years older) has two kids from when he knocked up his girlfriend (which he married) in highschool. They are now divorced, and she doesn't let him see them anymore but he still wants to send money and support them. We are co...
A. 26 June 2007: Well, first of all you need to accept that he has kids. They are alive and well and will always be around. I hope he treats them as well as you'd like him to treat yours, should you and he ever split up.
Your attitude stinks. From the first se... (read in full...)
He's driven me to cheating again
Q. i cheated on my boyfriend when we first got together with a guy i had been seeing previously, i have always liked recently i have have stronger feelings for him and he also, they are so strong i think i love him! my boyfriend hasnt been treating me ...
A. 26 June 2007: Lots of people have temptations. Cheating is cheating, not temptation. There in lies the difference.... (read in full...)
I think she lied about having plans and I felt disrespected, so I brushed her off; I'm still thinking of her
Q. A month ago I went out with this women and had a fantastic time. We both really liked each other. The first date went really well and she kept telling me what an exceptional time she was having at the end. She’s a beautiful women that gets a lot ...
A. 25 June 2007: Don't act like a child. she owes you nothing and only asked to reschedule. Don't forget, at that point you were just a new person in her life and you didn't have the rank you hoped for. You've probably damaged your chance but you won't know until ... (read in full...)
He's driven me to cheating again
Q. i cheated on my boyfriend when we first got together with a guy i had been seeing previously, i have always liked recently i have have stronger feelings for him and he also, they are so strong i think i love him! my boyfriend hasnt been treating me ...
A. 25 June 2007: Nobody pushed you to cheat. You made a couple bad choices. Shame on you for trying to put the blame on someone else. You created this mess and just complicated it some more. It's time to grow up and take responsibility for your inappropriate ... (read in full...)
He said he had an affair because he thought I was having one
Q. Hi, I really need some advice! I recently found out that my husband of 16 years-married since we were both 21-has been cheating on me for 6-7 months with someone I know( a mother up at our local school)-we have 2 children. He said because he felt I ...
A. 25 June 2007: How can you think you love a guy you worked with? Love is a big word. And if you think you're in love with him, you've spent too much time thinking about him and not enough on your marriage. That might be part of what you're husband sensed. This ... (read in full...)
I'm in a loveless marriage; should I leave?
Q. Do I abandon a passionless marriage? He loves me, I know -- but he's not in love with me, never has been. And he's trying, he knows we're in deep stuff here. But it's been 20+ years of little romance, an ever-decreasing amount of sex, and such a ...
A. 25 June 2007: Have you two tried to work on the marriage? Have you gone for help? IF the answer is yes and you're no longer in love with each other, move along. If you haven't tried to fix things, give it a good shot.... (read in full...)
I can't get over seeing my wife in a tape she made with her previous husband; it was so violent!
Q. I have been married for two very short months. About six months before I was married, I sold my house and moved in with my fiance'. I was doing some cleaning and making room for my things one night while she was at work. I came across a video....I ...
A. 25 June 2007: Ok. you can't hold her responsible for sexual encounters she had before she met you. It's understandable that it's shaken you but you have to figure out how to let go.
If you can't get over her past experiences, you have to leave her in peace... (read in full...)
My girlfriend fancies another guy and has been lying to me
Q. Hi there. New on here so be kind! Ok, here goes. I've been with my girlfriend for around 7 months now but we've known each other for about 10 years and have gone out together in the past. I love her to bits but something's come up recently that's ...
A. 24 June 2007: She did cross the line because the attention felt good. That is the long and short of it. You are correct.
We always meet people we like. Attraction is also normal. Giving out numbers etc also happens all the time. We try to convince... (read in full...)
I can't get over seeing my wife in a tape she made with her previous husband; it was so violent!
Q. I have been married for two very short months. About six months before I was married, I sold my house and moved in with my fiance'. I was doing some cleaning and making room for my things one night while she was at work. I came across a video....I ...
A. 24 June 2007: She dealt with the situation at hand as she saw fit in that moment. It was really not your place to question her.
She's with you now, leave it alone or get help from a professional to deal with the memories. ... (read in full...)
I have a special internet friend, but now my boyfriend wants to keep us apart!
Q. Hi! I'm in a relationship going on almost 3 years now, and up until now I've been home because of my disability, I can't drive and I don't go out unless it is with my BF. I met this man on the internet a few months ago, and we really hit it of...
A. 24 June 2007: Well, the information you've given changes things a little bit. There seems to be lack of respect on his part and you're about to do the same thing. Just because he does these things doesn't make them right. So if they're not right, they're ... (read in full...)
I said we could be friends...but I don't believe that anymore--is that wrong of me?
Q. I am hoping that one of the agony aunts can help me sort this out. I had a bit of a fling with a guy and then found out he had a girlfriend. I had known him for a long time before anything happened and was hurt when I found out but we maintain...
A. 24 June 2007: What category of friend would he fall under? With friends like that, who needs enemies?
OK, what makes this guy a good choice for a friend. He's a liar, cheater, uncaring and void of integrity. When you kept in touch with him after finding ... (read in full...)
I have a special internet friend, but now my boyfriend wants to keep us apart!
Q. Hi! I'm in a relationship going on almost 3 years now, and up until now I've been home because of my disability, I can't drive and I don't go out unless it is with my BF. I met this man on the internet a few months ago, and we really hit it of...
A. 24 June 2007: Talking to other women he works with is not the same as meeting them in Hawaii, nor is seeing his ex's around town. He shouldn't be calling his ex's to chat or going out of his way to see them, but simply being friendly if you bump into them is ... (read in full...)
I've been sleeping with an older man during a rough patch with my boyfriend
Q. hey guys i need some advice! i'm totally head over heels in love with my boyfriend but we'r goin through a bit of a rough patch at the min...although i dont think he realises this!! he takes drugs when he's out with certain friends of his and he ...
A. 23 June 2007: You created the mess. Your boyfriend needs to get a grip on reality and so do you. The old bugger isn't your friend, he's your F@#$buddy, don't try to convince yourself that you've got this deep bond. Cut him off form sex and see how long he ... (read in full...)
I have a special internet friend, but now my boyfriend wants to keep us apart!
Q. Hi! I'm in a relationship going on almost 3 years now, and up until now I've been home because of my disability, I can't drive and I don't go out unless it is with my BF. I met this man on the internet a few months ago, and we really hit it of...
A. 23 June 2007: Your boyfriend shouldn't be cutting you off from anything, you should do it yourself. Why is this other guy telling you you're attractive? What does that mean exactly? Have you ever approached a man you were not interested in and told ... (read in full...)
I want a threesome but don't want to cheat on my girlfriend. Any advice?
Q. I am in my late 20's with a girlfriend in her late 20's too. We have an OK relationship, though I do feel she takes me a little for granted sometimes. My advice concerns my sexual fantasies. I have this recurrent sexual fantasy to have a threes...
A. 23 June 2007: To have a fantasy is normal. To cross the line is playing with fire. If you can't continue without trying a threesome, find another guy that your wife finds hot and the three of you can have sex. Is that what you're looking for? I think not. ... (read in full...)
My wife walks around naked and my sister-in-law says nothing...is this a problem?
Q. My newly wedded wife walks around the house buck naked, and her sister, my sister in law, never says to her 'don't walk naked around the house when your husband is around.' What should I be aware of from the SIL?...
A. 23 June 2007: They're sisters, who cares? Most people probably don't walk around naked but some do. Why would you expect her sister to care?... (read in full...)
I bumped into an ex of mine and now I can't get him off my mind! Help!
Q. I bumped into an ex-boyfriend a couple of days ago and I can't get him out of my head, I just want to see him again. However, I'm in a serious six year relationship with a wonderful and caring person who I do love. I just don't understand why I'm ...
A. 23 June 2007: You'd be making a huge mistake if you act on this. Feelings are one thing but reality is another. What does anybody stand to gain from this? As usual, you've taken a step in the wrong direction, as people often do. The good news is you realize ... (read in full...)
He's been with someone else the whole 5 years I've been with him. Should I stay with someone who has lied to me all this time?
Q. Well im a 26 year old who was with someone who is 39 and we've known each other for about 5 years. we have been together 3 years and i recently got a phone call from a woman who told me they have been together for 9 years. He admitted they were ...
A. 23 June 2007: Why would you want to stay with someone who is a liar and a cheater. If you do stay with him, you're a liar and a cheater too. What does that say about the two of you? It paints a nasty picture.
I'd like to know some more information about th... (read in full...)
He's married but seems to quite like me; could this go anywhere?
Q. Recently a married co-worker started e-mailing me at home. The emails are not sexual in any way--the most he has ever said is that he thinks I'm cute and that he likes my company and enjoys talking to me. He came to visit me twice at home, yet both ...
A. 23 June 2007: How many men have you ever told you'd date if they were single. How often do you approach a guy and tell him he's cute? There is your answer.
What difference does it make if he's interested in an actual relationship with you? He's married,... (read in full...)
Shall all the dear cupid advisors meet?
Q. I know you have aunts from all over the world, but I wondered whether it may be a nice idea for us to meet at a convention of some sort...somehow? Perhaps several....
A. 23 June 2007: You might not find me in the vineyard but most likely in a beer garden....... (read in full...)
Shall all the dear cupid advisors meet?
Q. I know you have aunts from all over the world, but I wondered whether it may be a nice idea for us to meet at a convention of some sort...somehow? Perhaps several....
A. 22 June 2007: I live VERY close to Niagara Falls, Canada. We're on the border with New York state, close to Toronto and there's lots to do and see. We have vineyards, wineries and lots of tourist stuff. OK, it's settled, we'll do it Canada but since we're on ... (read in full...)
What turns a man on other than sex?
Q. what turns a guy on the most without having like sex??...
A. 21 June 2007: What turns a guy on other than the actual act of sex is knowing his partner enjoys him sexually. It's nice to be desired. Men are usually the ones seeking sex. Women usually are the prey. After the wedding, it's mostly men complaining they don't ... (read in full...)
We've been married 12 years and he's never given me an orgasm
Q. My husband of 12 years has never given me oral sex. I give him BJs all the time. He's a missionary-position type of guy. I'm very clean and shower often, and have shaved everything, too, because he said he might like that. But he has a hang up ...
A. 21 June 2007: You deserve to have an orgasm. You can not make him perform oral sex on you though any more then anybody should make you perform it on him. If he is just lazy and won't even bother to try in any other way, don't bring him to the point of ... (read in full...)
Shall all the dear cupid advisors meet?
Q. I know you have aunts from all over the world, but I wondered whether it may be a nice idea for us to meet at a convention of some sort...somehow? Perhaps several....
A. 21 June 2007: It sounds like a really good idea. Will it happen.........it would be very difficult. Of course nobody would admit who they are.... (read in full...)
I wonder when it comes to sex, both intercourse and oral how do you make a woman feel like doing it?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together 3 years now and we have a nice sex life. The only issue is this, early in our relationship she would perform oral sex on me daily and I would maybe weekly on her. Now the tables have turned. I mean she doesn't ...
A. 20 June 2007: It's because the relationship is three years old. It's not over, just different. Keep it alive and interesting. Tell her how you feel. This is quite common.... (read in full...)
We had a threesome, now I feel jealous!
Q. My fiance and my best friend have been very lustful for each other ever since the time we had a threesome which I did not enjoy.... recently I found out that he kissed her behind my back and very often they try to touch each other inappropriately. ...
A. 20 June 2007: You three opened Pandora's Box. The genie can't be put back in the bottle. There are a million clichés here. This is the trouble with threesomes, the person who likes them, really likes them. Once they get a taste of it, it's hard to take it ... (read in full...)
Still torn between boyfriend and his best friend!
Q. I am still stuck, I ended up at my boyfriends best friends house last night. We talked about what had been said and how we should feel guilty, but we dont. I went home to my partner and all I have done since is think about and fantasise over him. ...
A. 20 June 2007: Everything is hard. If you don't have the ability to honor your boyfriend, the leave him. Why do it the dirty way? Since you've already started down that road, it's difficult to make it anything but what it actually is, a rotten event for your ... (read in full...)
Still torn between boyfriend and his best friend!
Q. I am still stuck, I ended up at my boyfriends best friends house last night. We talked about what had been said and how we should feel guilty, but we dont. I went home to my partner and all I have done since is think about and fantasise over him. ...
A. 20 June 2007: You don't have a "friendship" with the other guy. Be honest about that. There are sparks flying there and that is not what friends do. knowing what you now know, avoid him.... (read in full...)
He cheats on his wife including with me, would I really be able to trust him if I gave up my husband for him ?
Q. hi im married with 2 kids i love my husband and trust him100%. a yr and half ago i saw a bloke at work and made a beeline 4 him and iv totally fell inlove with him. we see each other and text each other several times a day, i see him about 3 times a ...
A. 20 June 2007: What a huge, rotten mess. What do either of you know about trust? He can't be trusted and neither can you. Are you serious about this?
These are very frustrating questions, the ones about fidelity. I think many people have probably never fo... (read in full...)
I don't want to cheat, but I want other men!
Q. I have been with my husband for 10 years. Before I met him I was very sexually active with many different partners. When I got with my husband and fell in love I thought I would change but over the last year or so I have wanted to look elsewhere. I ...
A. 20 June 2007: You're playing with fire. What you're going to get out of this is a hollow existence, based on sex. What you'll be missing is the bond that love and marriage brings. The big picture is so much more than the thrill of sex with new partners. That ... (read in full...)
Still torn between boyfriend and his best friend!
Q. I am still stuck, I ended up at my boyfriends best friends house last night. We talked about what had been said and how we should feel guilty, but we dont. I went home to my partner and all I have done since is think about and fantasise over him. ...
A. 20 June 2007: You didn't "end up" at his house last night, you chose to go. You're creating your own mess. YOU are allowing yourself to go down this path. This is something you need to admit to yourself.
Why do people insist on putting the cart before t... (read in full...)
My husband wants more sex than I can handle!
Q. My husband wants to have sex twice a day and I am not able to comply. I feel so sad. What should I do? ...
A. 20 June 2007: There is a range of what would be considered normal for sexual frequency. I'd say your partner is off the scale. While it's not a bad thing if you both want sex twice a day, the fact is, you don't. He needs to adjust his demands.
If you were... (read in full...)
My partner is very insecure due to past issues, I feel like Im now paying for them! Help!
Q. I've been with my partner for almost 4 years and have a wonderfull little boy, but my partner doesn't trust me and i don't know the best way to cope with this. He's very insercure and been hurt many times in the past and mysely may i add> I want my ...
A. 20 June 2007: To the anonymous reply, who are you to tell someone to pay no attention to me? We only hear one side of the situation here. WE can only base our answers on what information we have. If we accept what the question asker asks, we offer advice based ... (read in full...)
My partner is very insecure due to past issues, I feel like Im now paying for them! Help!
Q. I've been with my partner for almost 4 years and have a wonderfull little boy, but my partner doesn't trust me and i don't know the best way to cope with this. He's very insercure and been hurt many times in the past and mysely may i add> I want my ...
A. 19 June 2007: OK, you're boyfriend may appear to care about you, and I'm sure he does, but he's getting you backed into a corner with his insecurities. You will eventually tire of this, actually you already have, based on your question. If you're already tired ... (read in full...)
I might have an affair because my wife and I argue so much
Q. Hello people, i have a problem that i would like you to help solve.I was recently married and now we are bleby an 11months old boy. for the last 2months my relationship has been having its rocky parts.we been arguing and at times the arguments he...
A. 19 June 2007: If you cheat it's because you value sex more than your wife's feelings. What would you think if she sent you the same email? It shows a real lack of respect for the marriage.
You two don't communicate very well. That is the problem. You will... (read in full...)
My boyfriend treats me like a maid
Q. Hi. my boyfriend and i have been together for one year now even though we have been friends for close to ten years. The problem is that he he feels a woman place is in the kitchen. He does support my career aspiration but bluntly refuses to help ...
A. 19 June 2007: By not standing your ground, you're reinforcing his silly ideas. You have to make a stand and draw a line in the sand. The more yo give in, the stronger he becomes.... (read in full...)
I want to stay in the 'honeymoon' stage of a relationship forever
Q. Hello! I'm 24 and have never got past 5 months in any other relationship because I am insecure and unreasonable and I don't like it when the initial 'honeymoon period' becomes 'comfortable'. At the moment I am in a relationship with a man tha...
A. 19 June 2007: The most important thing to do in order to provide the opportunity for a good marriage is to nurture what you've got. It will not always be in the honeymoon stage. That I can guarantee. He will meet other women he finds attractive and you be ... (read in full...)
I separated from my husband because I didn't feel attracted to him anymore. Now I'm with someone else who's great at times but sometimes shows no respect to me. What should I do?
Q. I am currently separated from my husband because I do not feel attracted to him anymore. He's a kind person, but I feel I have outgrown him in many ways, though I still love him, but more like a companion, than a husband/lover. We didn't have any ...
A. 18 June 2007: OK, I don't understand your reasoning. You're willing to invest all your time and energy into fixing the man you're with now, and he's got a mean streak a mile wide. You're not willing to rebuild your relationship with your husband who happens to ... (read in full...)
27 and about to get married but I've fallen for a 40 year old woman! What can I do?
Q. Hep, I am 27 years old I am about to get married but six months ago I started a new job, I love my job but have fallen for a 40 year old married woman who has two daughters 20 and 21 years old,she is so caring and looks great for her age, she care...
A. 17 June 2007: Well it appears to me your girlfriend is justified in her jealousy. It's OK to fantasize about women but you have to know where to draw the line. Your fantasy is getting the best of you and you're not concentrating on your primary relationship. ... (read in full...)
Slept round my girlfriend's house and he broke up with me coz he didn't believe me! What should I do?
Q. I slept round my girlfriends house for the weekend and the next morning i get a text message saying its over! I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years im 18 and he is 20. I slept round my girlfriends house as we work together and have to get ...
A. 17 June 2007: You're setting yourself up to live the life of a loser. Think about this, you're worried about a drug dealing, jealous creep and his attitude towards you. Set hire standards for yourself.... (read in full...)
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