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... Send *ddie a private message | | | *ddie's profile:Hi there. I go by Eddie. I'm from Canada. I have a great wife and two great kids, both teenagers. I've been with my wife for 21 years and we dated for two years before that.
I enjoy travel and learning new things. Different cultures interest me and what makes them tick. I think there is always a reason for the way certain cultures do things and many times we are too quick to judge things that we find odd.
The more places I go and the more people I meet, the more I see that we are so similar. Everybody is trying to enjoy life but we are all influenced along the way by the stuff that "happens". The trick is to learn from the lessons and carry on. I have a short fuse for infedility and take marriage very seriously. It's not from personal experiences either. I just don't understand why people don't seem to fix the problems in their marriages before they create more. I see lots of questions on this site pertaining to this topic, that's why I added this part. |
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| Latest articles: Why do people think the unattached person in a love triangle is a victim?
This question has 9 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 September 2007: Why is it that people get involved in love triangles and feel rejected when they don't work out? Why do so many agony aunts treat the third member of the triangle as a victim? I'm tired of hearing people reccommend.... "distance yourself from hi...
Fidelity and marriage
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 May 2007: Many times, we see questions asking for advice about marriage, monotony and fidelity. I tend to be cut and dry on this topic and often without compassion for the person struggling in this area. What bothers me most, is the ability of people to ...
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I finally found a man thats interested, not gay, and not a jerk... But... Hes married!!
Q. All of my life I have had the worst luck with men. I fall for men who are either gay or not interested, jerks or clueless. I met a guy three months ago and we instantly clicked. We get along really well, he's extremely cute, we make each other ...
A. 27 April 2007: Well if this guy was interested then he would be a JERK. He would be clueless because of the pain he would cause other people. Because you would be involeved, you too would be a jerk and clueless. You've said you don't care about morality because ... (read in full...)
Im attracted to my bf's friend "Bob"! Is this the 7yr itch at 4 yrs?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 4yrs, and lived with him for 2. While I still find him attractive and think I would like to marry him and have a family, we dont have a lot of time to spend together, as we both spend alot of time working. I've ...
A. 26 April 2007: I want to warn you that I feel the first reply to your question is a little unclear or TOTALLY the wrong direction you should take !!!
It sounds like you're seeing a quality in BOB that you'd like to see in your man. Have your own kids! As for t... (read in full...)
My husbands' low self-esteem is causing him to snoop! on me I have no privacy anymore! How do I deal with this?
Q. I am at my wit's end. My husband of ten years is a bottomless pit of insecurity and i don't know if i can take it anymore. He is a person who is very kind and loving, but doesn't often know his own mind. He doesn't have any interests or hobbies ...
A. 26 April 2007: Dr. Pete gave you a great answer. The only thing that I might add is this. If your husband was unaware of what he found in your notes, then those notes would serve as ammunition for his fears. They would help to bolster the thoughts he was ... (read in full...)
I'm wracked with guilt for having an affair! How do I get over this?
Q. i had an affair and ended a 14 year relationship with the father of my 2 children,the affair was complicated and ended messily. i am racked with guilt for so many reasons,how do i get through or over this guilt?...
A. 26 April 2007: You sound like you've been honest with yourself. Unfortunately, there is no great answer. You can forgive yourself but you have to live with the results of your actions. You can't change what you've done. This is the down side of the excitement ... (read in full...)
I believe that sex and love are two different things, but I wouldn't have sex if I didn't love her. What do you all think?
Q. I need some opinions on a view that I have. I believe that the way I look at this is a mature, healthy way... but I would like some advice from someone older that may have been through this before. My girlfriend of nearly a year and I are sexual...
A. 23 April 2007: I like Martini's answer. It's obvious sex is good for physical reasons. People who are not in love have sex all the time. They often risk a lot to do it too. People who are falling in love have wild sex because the relationship is new. Often ... (read in full...)
I'm 23, married for 2 years but I don't enjoy sex with my new husband so have started an affair!
Q. Hi i am 23 and have been married for 2 years and a few months. I have not been enjoying sex with my husband and i dont know how to tell him, I ve been extremely sexually frustrated as its been more than 3 years since we ve been together, thought it ...
A. 23 April 2007: How could this help your relationship. You obviously don't love your husband. Why did you choose to muddy the waters and deal with this issue this way? You've only complicated things. Perhaps you should move on to another man. The respect for ... (read in full...)
When I go out drinking I really over-do it to coincide with feeling out of control. It also helps me NOT to wear my engagement ring! Why am I doing this?
Q. Hello all! I was recently engaged a couple of months back and have been going crazy ever since. When I go out drinking I really over do it to coinside with feeling out of control. It also helps me NOT to wear my engagement ring. I am not sure wit...
A. 22 April 2007: Most women are over the moon when they get the engagement ring and certainly proud to show it off. Since we don't know you it's hard to guess why you don't wear it although I'll say it's probably uncommon.
You can never change how you feel whe... (read in full...)
Had unprotected sex during pregancy, will it effect the baby?
Q. I'm one month and one week pregnat, I just had unprotected sex with someone who isn't the father, what is going to happen to me and the baby?...
A. 22 April 2007: Nobody can tell you what "IS" going to happen to the baby. You had unprotected sex and the consequences are well known. Perhaps a trip to your doctor will ease your mind. A bigger question is this, why are you having sex with another man when ... (read in full...)
Working with this guy is driving me crazy!
Q. Hi, I wonder if anyone can help me. I'm very recently married but work very closely (daily) with another man and have done for a couple of years. Over the last year, my feeling towards him have spiralled out of control and he's mostly all I thi...
A. 22 April 2007: I'd like to think you should get a new job but I'm not sure you will be able to control your actions in the future.
The only problem is this, you can't tell your husband why you're quitting and you can't control who'll you'll meet in the futu... (read in full...)
She didn't give me the whole story about the concert tickets! Am I being played here?
Q. The woman I've been dating for the last year and a half told me about 2 months ago she was going to a concert with some friends. I had asked her if she wanted to go with me, but she said she had already planned going with some friends. I said "OK", ...
A. 19 April 2007: The one thing we "seem" to know for sure is this, she didn't give you all the facts. Since I don't know the dynamics of your relationship, I'm not sure why she would do this. Are you controlling? Either way, it sounds like she was less than ... (read in full...)
We agreed to go ahead with the 3some, but every time it crops up my wife finds a reason not to go ahead!!
Q. Alright, so I read some other similar questions but not exactly the same. My wife and I are both legitimately intrested in a threesome, and (she being bisexual) we are agreed it should obviously be a woman. The problem is everytime I find someone ...
A. 19 April 2007: I also think it's more for you than your wife. She's not writing the letter!! If she was bothered by it, she'd bring someone home to do it. If it's not an issue, don't worry about it. Be careful what you wish for though, you and her. What about ... (read in full...)
I slapped him in temper, hes left me but left a note, it says he still loves me! I dont know what to do!?
Q. Ive been with my boyfriend for 5 years i left a violent marriage to be with him. The last two years have been very bad i discovered i was pregnant but had to terminated as he "wasnt ready for the comittment" my father was diagnosed with cancer and ...
A. 19 April 2007: It sounds like you've had a tough time lately and it may have taken it's toll on the relationship. Have you considered counselling about your issues, either as a couple or on your own. These problems can be solved. This does not make you evil or ... (read in full...)
She wasnt happy and enjoyed the outside attention, would it work if we got back together, or is she just playing me for a fool!?
Q. Where do I start? My g/f and I of four years ago split up yesterday, and I'm absouletely heart broken. She is 29 and I 30. The problems started 6mths ago when I questioned our relationship not knowing what I wanted at the time. It didn't he...
A. 19 April 2007: well, all you can do is give her time now. The part about being with another guy would be particularily painful. You should make that clear to her. ... (read in full...)
She wasnt happy and enjoyed the outside attention, would it work if we got back together, or is she just playing me for a fool!?
Q. Where do I start? My g/f and I of four years ago split up yesterday, and I'm absouletely heart broken. She is 29 and I 30. The problems started 6mths ago when I questioned our relationship not knowing what I wanted at the time. It didn't he...
A. 18 April 2007: Have you talked with your partner about how the situation will work out, or how you'll feel, should she decide to become sexual with the other man?... (read in full...)
She wasnt happy and enjoyed the outside attention, would it work if we got back together, or is she just playing me for a fool!?
Q. Where do I start? My g/f and I of four years ago split up yesterday, and I'm absouletely heart broken. She is 29 and I 30. The problems started 6mths ago when I questioned our relationship not knowing what I wanted at the time. It didn't he...
A. 17 April 2007: Your lady is not sure about what she wants at the moment. She's told you and it's clear. You were also thinking along the same line months ago. It's possible that your indiscretion, ans that's what it was, cleared the path for her to do the same ... (read in full...)
Am I being too harsh to tell my gf to stop doing this thing that makes me very unhappy?
Q. My girlfriend is doing something that is making her happy and while im not happy and she wont quit because she loves doing it but it takes a lot of time out of being together but then she says she loves me more than anything... am i being to harsh ...
A. 15 April 2007: I think you left out some key information here. Is she robbing banks? It would be easier to anser if we knew what she was actually doing. Otherwise, we're only guessing.... (read in full...)
How do I convince my shy wife to try a threesome?
Q. I am trying to get my wife to try a threesome. She is a little shy. How can i convince my wife to try it?...
A. 12 April 2007: Why would you want to introduce another guy to your bedroom? I give you credit for being honest about your feelings. Would you do it that way if she requested it?
HMMMM....me thinks not.... (read in full...)
Started an affair with a married guy--any advice?
Q. I have just started an affair, I have known my husband for 12 years and been married for 10 years. We have 2 yound kids and I love them very much...however I feel that I am falling in love with this other man. I do not feel quilty at all. I don't ...
A. 11 April 2007: The fact you don't feel any guilt is too bad. Your mroal compass is way out of alignment. You are moraly bankrupt. You should proabably leave your husbandand kids, as should your lover/luster, ruin his marriage too and live sadly ever after. You ... (read in full...)
The man I loved went back to his wife to have a baby! Help me understand this?
Q. Im in love with a married man. he has gone back to his wife to have a baby. Why do it to her and me?...
A. 11 April 2007: You have the right to love anbody you choose. Along with that, you will enjoy the benefits of the pain it causes when you choose to someone who is already taken. The truth is this. You feel bad because you gave into temptation and now you're ... (read in full...)
I opened up and told my husband about my past threesome!!! He cant move on from it and its destroying us! Please help!!
Q. I have a serious marriage problem. My husband and I have been married for 15 months now. We got married while he was in the military, and we were separated for 13 months. We have been living together for 3 months now. Everything was perfect in ...
A. 11 April 2007: He might actually be thinking about the fact you were in a wild,erotic fantasy type situation and there is another man (I'm guessing)who has seen your wild side. That might cause him to be jealous or slighted. It's not really his business but this ... (read in full...)
We are LD, we are engaged, and I do want to marry her, But shes talks so openly about sex with others, that Im wondering is she right for me ?
Q. I am in a long distance relationship now with my fiancee and sometimes she gets on the edge, we had a row and she told me that the fact that she loves me does not mean that when i get her upset she will not make mistakes of going out to look for ...
A. 11 April 2007: Well it sounds like you're trying to make her something she's not.....and that is the marrying type. It sounds like she's either justifying something she's already done or wants to do. Open your ears...she wants the freedom of a single woman. ... (read in full...)
How can I stop being paranoid!?
Q. How can I stop being paranoid about girl friends or girlfriends?...
A. 11 April 2007: A little more information would help or any answers would only be guesses.... (read in full...)
I am very nervous about my b/f going away a week without me! What can I do?
Q. I feel nervous about my b/f going away a week without me..i seriously believe that whether its a guy or girl..if you are away for a week with friends at bars where a lot of partying is happening--you are going to wind up crossing the line ...
A. 11 April 2007: You're already assumimg he's a liar and a cheater. He can't win with you because of your weakness. He's guilty before he's even committed the crime. He'll tire of that treatment and you'll scare him away.... (read in full...)
I really like her but she's really flirty with other guys and is always being pursued by them...what can I do?
Q. theres this girl i've been seeing for about a month who i am crazy about. she says she loves me and wants to be with me. the problem is that she is really flirty with guys and is always being pursued and sleazed over by them. i've been in relation...
A. 10 April 2007: Guys are always going to chase after women. It all depends on how she takes it that determines if she's a flirt or a respectable marrying type. If she soaks it up like a sponge then you'll always worry. How do you know guys are always chasing her ... (read in full...)
I am very nervous about my b/f going away a week without me! What can I do?
Q. I feel nervous about my b/f going away a week without me..i seriously believe that whether its a guy or girl..if you are away for a week with friends at bars where a lot of partying is happening--you are going to wind up crossing the line ...
A. 10 April 2007: If he specifically told you he wants to go awoay without you, that wasn't very smart. You also seem to be worrying too much. He could cheat any time he likes. Here , there or anywhere. You can't control him or stop him. So, it doesn't make you ... (read in full...)
Im in love with a married man, he says it could take up to 3 months to be together!! What do I do if it has'nt happend ?
Q. DearCupid, I am in love with a married man. When we met, I was married but very much separated (my ex husband moved in with another woman 2 weeks later). He told me he was married but separated too, and we dated and fell in love. He would al...
A. 10 April 2007: Why don't yo just do what he asks? What's the rush? If what he's saying is true, it makes sense.... (read in full...)
My husband of 5 years says I've never satisfied him sexually and wants me to be like a pornstar with him!
Q. My husband of five years said that I'v never satisfied him sexualy, and he wants me to perform like the women in his many porn DVD's. Is that reasonable? He expects me to be always ready for sex ie fully shaved (and I'm very hairy) and doing it up ...
A. 9 April 2007: What kind of guy would want to have anal sex with his wife and not use lube????? Is he a sickooo ???... (read in full...)
How do I turn the cheek to him keeping in contact with (all) his exes?
Q. My fiance believes that keeping in contact with all of his exes, even as far as going and seeing them in different states, does not mean he is disrespectful to me. I have asked him why he does it and he says, because he wants to stay friends with ...
A. 6 April 2007: One doesn't turn the cheek to this kid of behaviour.....One turns the paper work over to the lawyer and gets out of sauch a ridiculous relationship. Period !! Tell him you're going to have sex with some old boyfriends and see how he likes it. ... (read in full...)
I'm in love with my male friend, can friends male and female date ?
Q. I am a 44 year old female and I am in love with my guy friend, he is 47 years old. Can friends ( guy and girl) date?...
A. 6 April 2007: Of course you can date. Is there more to this isssue you're not telling us? Is he married ro in a relationship?... (read in full...)
I have this notion that I shouldnt talk to women that are married, is this a wierd belief ?
Q. Well, i am 25 yr old single guy and carry this notion about females that it is a kind of abnormal to talk with a woman who is someone else's wife. I shy away or cut short any such conversations and extra care to not come in any close contact with ...
A. 6 April 2007: You are definately too cincerned with this idea that married women are not people you can talk with. Of course, it depends on what you're saying and how you approach the situation.
What are you going to do in work situations? What about ma... (read in full...)
What are his rights to his son?
Q. I am living with my boyfriend of 6 years and we have a 1 year old son. My partner is a French national and I am British, our son was born in the UK and has a British Passport. Our relationship has been on and off for years and we virtually stopped ...
A. 6 April 2007: If he's acting like a father now, I'd say he's entitled to have the rights of a father. Is he paying support? If so, then he should be entitled to the same rights as you. Why should his rights be any different? He may have acted like a jerk ... (read in full...)
Im seeing a married woman, her relationship is in turmoil, I just want her to be happy even if she doesnt end up with me, how can I best help her ?
Q. Thanks for any response you can give me. I'm a 44 male never been married nor do I have any children. I recently took a new job and my new co-worker and I really hit off. She has been in a relationship for 9 years living together and has been eng...
A. 5 April 2007: STOP...you're trying to paint yourself as a martyr to justify your sniffing around her.
"I whispered to her that I didn't have to go home anytime soon" You should get a job writing for a soap opera. Stop trying to enlighten her with your goo... (read in full...)
How can I tell him that I saw various escort numbers in his recent call list, bearing in mind I spied ?
Q. I need some advice. I recently did a silly thing while my boyfriend was in the shower - pressed the green button on his mobile (recent calls)He has given me reason to be suspicious in the past as before that id never touched his phone. There were ...
A. 5 April 2007: Well, you snooped. He might be angry but I'd say he doesn't have much of a leg to stand on. You're totally in the clear to confront him, at least in my opinion. Is it possibble he picked up an STD??? Sure it is, afterall, he wasn't calling to ... (read in full...)
My affair guy has turned against me and not contacted me! Im distraught, How do I move on ?
Q. My affair with a married man recently ended, he told his wife after only 6 wks of seeing each other that he loved me and was leaving but went back because of Xmas and his children. We continued to see each other and he left again after another 6 ...
A. 5 April 2007: To think you weer not the or a BIG problem in the marriage is so unrealistic. He's married to someone else and the father of the family unit, albeit a bad one. You had absolutely no right to be part of the plan. If he robbed a bank and you drove ... (read in full...)
My affair guy has turned against me and not contacted me! Im distraught, How do I move on ?
Q. My affair with a married man recently ended, he told his wife after only 6 wks of seeing each other that he loved me and was leaving but went back because of Xmas and his children. We continued to see each other and he left again after another 6 ...
A. 4 April 2007: It's too bad that you have no moral compass to guide you through this. Poor me,me, me, ...That's all I hear. You do not deserve any sympathy. When you lay down with dogs, you get flees. In this case you're both covered in flees. May I be so ... (read in full...)
Are these emails as innocent as he says they are ?
Q. I recently, saw lots of forwarded mails to my husband from a woman. He says that she and her husband are his clients. These mails are very inappropriate, sex jokes and all that. He said that he only met her husband and her about three times for ...
A. 4 April 2007: People forward emails/jokes all the time. The fact that you find the jokes to be unfunny doesnt'mean anything. The fact that she hasn't heard from him in a while, means what? It means whatever you twist it into. Emails are deceiving. You can ... (read in full...)
I prentended I was her ex and emailed her to see how she really feels, She loves her ex! How can I carry on knowing this ?
Q. Me and my lesbian partner have been together for almost a year. We also live together. I pretended to be her ex and e-mailed her. Pretending to be her ex I told her that i miss her. And that's when I found out how she really feels. She was saying ...
A. 3 April 2007: You opened a pandoras box here. You're feelings can't go away really so easily. You peeked into her head and found something disturbing. It's her feelings that need to change, more tahn yours. If, what she said to her ex (you) is true. What ... (read in full...)
He emailed her and arranged to meet! When confronted he said it was just to see who she was! Is this cheating?
Q. A woman on myspace was sending my husband emails. She would tell him how she would like to meet him. One day he went to a local computer store to email her and in the email he gave her his work phone number so she could call him. He changed his ...
A. 3 April 2007: Let's see....he lied about another woman, lied about where he was going and why, planned to go to her house, went to a different location to email her, changed his password, gave his work number.....I'd say Y E S !!! That's cheating. Just to top ... (read in full...)
Married 9 months, shes seeing someone else! I said I can look past it if she cuts all ties! But shes carrying on! Am I too demanding!?
Q. My wife and I have been married for 9 months. In recent weeks, she has been going out late with her friends/clients to clubs, or for coffee. Few weeks ago, we had a major fight about her coming back at 7am in the morning and that left her angry with ...
A. 3 April 2007: It sounds like your wife is in some sort of denial stage. She's playing a dangerous game at the cost of your marriage. You have every right to demand that she dump this friend. You see, the problem is this, he's not a friend. He's a potential ... (read in full...)
How can I still love my ex, when I havent seen him in 3yrs and am engaged to be married!!?
Q. I am engaged to be married to the most wonderful, loving, generous, kind man I have ever known. The problem is I am still in love with my ex, and I cannot shake these feelings for him no matter how hard I try. I do keep in contact with my ex, but ...
A. 2 April 2007: I agree with Iris49. Stop contacting the ex. Do you realize that you are cheating emotionally on your boyfriend by contacting your ex. Does your boyfriend know you do this? The reason it's cheating is because of the feelings you have. In other ... (read in full...)
He's okay to go out without me, but when I do the same hes gets offended! Is this just a phase ?
Q. I'm 19 and my boyfriend just turned 21 last month and he goes to the bar all the time and of course i can't go... plus he stays out all night sometimes and it drives me crazy. And if that isn't bad enough when i want to hang out with my friends all ...
A. 2 April 2007: You should fix it or find another place to live. He's controlling you and he's insecure. Unless you've given him reason to worry, it's not fair. Why should you pay the price for something you haven't done. He feels by controlling you, he can ... (read in full...)
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