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... Send *ddie a private message | | | *ddie's profile:Hi there. I go by Eddie. I'm from Canada. I have a great wife and two great kids, both teenagers. I've been with my wife for 21 years and we dated for two years before that.
I enjoy travel and learning new things. Different cultures interest me and what makes them tick. I think there is always a reason for the way certain cultures do things and many times we are too quick to judge things that we find odd.
The more places I go and the more people I meet, the more I see that we are so similar. Everybody is trying to enjoy life but we are all influenced along the way by the stuff that "happens". The trick is to learn from the lessons and carry on. I have a short fuse for infedility and take marriage very seriously. It's not from personal experiences either. I just don't understand why people don't seem to fix the problems in their marriages before they create more. I see lots of questions on this site pertaining to this topic, that's why I added this part. |
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| Latest articles: Why do people think the unattached person in a love triangle is a victim?
This question has 9 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 September 2007: Why is it that people get involved in love triangles and feel rejected when they don't work out? Why do so many agony aunts treat the third member of the triangle as a victim? I'm tired of hearing people reccommend.... "distance yourself from hi...
Fidelity and marriage
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 May 2007: Many times, we see questions asking for advice about marriage, monotony and fidelity. I tend to be cut and dry on this topic and often without compassion for the person struggling in this area. What bothers me most, is the ability of people to ...
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I would be interested in hearing peoples views on the inconsistancy that seems to be EVERYWHERE through the bible!
Q. This question is not so much about relationships but I am studying religious studies in college and I'm finding it fascinating! My friend is part of a pentacostal church and it's ridiculous. If anyone has seen that church scene in Borat it is just ...
A. 18 August 2007: The concept of religion is interesting. Unfortunately the world seems to be full of hypocrisy. Many people latch on to religion and use it as a crutch. I believe anytime a person becomes a fundamentalist in any belief system, they tend to have ... (read in full...)
Is it ok to pay for sex as long as you're very careful?
Q. I am male, who is mssing sex. is it okay to pay for a shag, as long s you are very careful.....
A. 25 July 2007: Actually, having a one night stand with someone is risky...BUT...in my opinion not as risky as someone who has sex for a living, 7 days a week. Think about the numbers involved there.
If she's OK with it, I question the judgment of both of you.... (read in full...)
I feel like he's cheating on me, fantasising about having sex with another woman... is this normal????
Q. My husband looks at porn when I am gone... he knows how much this bothered me because of the first time I found porn on the comp and then just recently he downloaded a CD to have virtual sex with some porn star and the a personal plaything for ...
A. 17 July 2007: Again, I disagree. You dismiss any chance that men may also have issues. In your eyes, men equal bad, women equal good. I'm sorry but it sounds like you have an axe to grind.
Let me ask you a question. If it's true that most men, who are ... (read in full...)
I love her but I worry about her and her guy friend! How do I cope with this?
Q. Hello. I have been going out with my girlfriend for over 2 years now. We moved in together this past January and things are going well. The thing is I am insecure about the fact that she gets along better with guys and therefore has many guy fri...
A. 17 July 2007: You have to reinforce your love for her and leave it alone !! As much as it scares you, you must do this. By doing this, you're doing what a supportive mate is supposed to do. WE encourage our mates to enjoy life within the reasonable boundaries ... (read in full...)
I have a bf but is it okay to be friends with this other guy I have a crush on?
Q. Ok, so my boyfriend is away for the summer and yes we are remaining together. The problem is, i went away for a few weeks - gals holiday, and we met these guys that were great fun to hang out with! i found one of them very attractive and although ...
A. 17 July 2007: Well, it's good you understand what your boyfriend would think. I think you're correct. The fact you're asking the question confirms it too. First question...you were away on holiday, in a jovial mood, did you flirt with this guy? Be honest.
... (read in full...)
Should I find a better man?
Q. I have been married 15 months - I am attractive and have a very healthy sexual appetite. I am attracted to my husband but he just isnt interested.Its devastating as I am 30 and just feel sex is so important to a relationship and is making me feel v ...
A. 17 July 2007: There must be a reason for this. You need to communicate and even get counseling if necessary. I understand your frustration but try to sort this out.... (read in full...)
Should I be jealous if my partner kisses someone else as part of an acting class?
Q. My partner is interesting in acting classes. I'm concerned because part of these classes will have him kissing other women and acting in various passionate scenes with them. Should I be jealous? ...
A. 17 July 2007: It's natural to feel a little jeaous or perhaps awkward. It goes against everything we're taught to expect. It's not the same though as him going out to pick a woman up at a bar. Don't make a big deal out of it. ... (read in full...)
How can I find out if my online guy loves me? I love him despite the distance and difference of religion!
Q. i never had a special boyfriend although i have been approached by a few guys. But, recently i met a guy on line, we first got to know each other from a epal club, after one month than we started chatting. Little did i expect that our relationship ...
A. 16 July 2007: Be caareful..You love a person you don't really know. That cold be dangerous. Love develops after being together for some time, not over a computer. Take your time.... (read in full...)
He says he loves me and doesn't love his girlfriend (who he has three kids with) anymore - but he hasn't left her yet!
Q. im 25 with 3 children and have been seein a man for 4 years he has kids and a girlfriend,he has been telling me since just before xmas that he loves me and doesnt love her anymore wants to be with me but finds it hard to leave cause of his kids, i ...
A. 16 July 2007: I think you're playing a rotten game with someones elses partner. Doesn't that strike you as being a little evil minded? ... (read in full...)
I kissed my boyfriends coworker
Q. I kissed my boyfriends work friend. The girl he was out with was upset he offered to walk me to the car although i dont know if she actually saw the kiss. me and my partner go out with these people regularly and i cant guarantee he wont be told...
A. 16 July 2007: Why did you do that?... (read in full...)
This guy won't leave us alone! Should I hurt him?
Q. I need some advice please me and my gf have been dating for a year and a half and theres always been this guy that wont leave and get out of our relationship he was my gfs bestfriend over a year ago and since then has never left us alone he will try ...
A. 16 July 2007: I think you need someone to talk to who can offer you some professional advice, in person. You posted three times last week saying you're jealous of your girlfriend having a social life while you're in Portugal. Now you talk about breaking ... (read in full...)
I'm sure she's attracted to me even though she is engaged
Q. I typically have a hard time talking to females but recently a female at my workplace and I started to talk. This Female and I get along really well, we laugh, talk about stuff and we have alot in common which is why I feel we get along well. ...
A. 16 July 2007: The only reason the friendship is going to fall apart is because you're ruining it, in your head. The alternative to her being nice and good company is to be cold and bitchy.
You're stuck in a bind because you choose to be in a bind. Just bec... (read in full...)
I got pregnant cheating with my ex - it means something right?
Q. I dated this one guy for about 7 months and we broke up because i developed feelings for another guy. A few months into that relationship i cheated once and had a one night stand with that ex of 7 months. I became Pregnant that night with his child. ...
A. 16 July 2007: All it means is you had sex and got pregnant. It's not a sign of anything.... (read in full...)
Should I be worried about another girl?
Q. i was with my b/f watching tv and i had a movie on for a few seconds and changed it and then he said i thought you liked so and so(he said the name of the movie) and i said umm no..i never saw the movie. And he said oh i thought you said that...i ...
A. 16 July 2007: What you need to worry about is what made you jump to that conclusion. Of all the possible reasons he said that, what made you pinpoint that?... (read in full...)
He regrets not having as many sex partners and that makes me feel insecure
Q. My boyfriend loves me there is no doubt. We found each other again after years of unhappiness. I had a healthy number sexual partners in my youth and am now happy to settle. He has only had a few partners and makes references this, seeming very ...
A. 16 July 2007: That's a heavy burden to carry, assuming men don't want to be faithful. Men might think they'd love to have many partners but I think it would be a short lived fantasy and a hollow feeling.
What a man wants is a woman who is a great wife and... (read in full...)
I feel like he's cheating on me, fantasising about having sex with another woman... is this normal????
Q. My husband looks at porn when I am gone... he knows how much this bothered me because of the first time I found porn on the comp and then just recently he downloaded a CD to have virtual sex with some porn star and the a personal plaything for ...
A. 16 July 2007: First of all, I'm not talking about kids. Get that straight. That is wrong, morally and legally already. My answers are reasonable and you have no idea who actually considers them. It's obvious from your post that your mind was closed before any ... (read in full...)
Is there any situation where a guy should hit or smack a girl?
Q. I need a lot of people's opinions on this subject so if you could give me your perspective it would be great. Ok...Is there any situation where a guy should hit or smack a girl? I mean if the girl is hitting him on his head because she is so mad at ...
A. 15 July 2007: I believe in tit for tat. I don't condone the violence but if a man is being hit by a woman, he has EVERY right to defend himself....period. Why should a man not defend himself? He's a PERSON being assaulted by another PERSON. If a man is ... (read in full...)
Does porn bother you?
Q. Hi everyone I would just like to ask for several minutes of your time to ask for your opinion on the folllowing. It MAY affect women more than men (as already confirmed. How do you all feel about your partner (male/or female, again it may...
A. 15 July 2007: To look at things and admire whatever you feel is beautiful is fine. The things that turn me on are mine. They belong to no one else. As long as they are not harming anybody, it's my business. The only difference between pornography and non ... (read in full...)
I feel like he's cheating on me, fantasising about having sex with another woman... is this normal????
Q. My husband looks at porn when I am gone... he knows how much this bothered me because of the first time I found porn on the comp and then just recently he downloaded a CD to have virtual sex with some porn star and the a personal plaything for ...
A. 15 July 2007: I can understand that you're not thrilled at the extent he's gone to. The fact he does this does not indicate anything about his "love", generally speaking for you. Since it really bothers you, when taken to this extreme, it is a relationship ... (read in full...)
What's the point in having kids if no matter how much love you give them, these evil people take them away?
Q. Last week I was watching a documentary about mistakes by social services involving a family who had their 3 kids taken away from them in the UK (we have a really crap system in Britain in that if there was a mistake by social services, the parents ...
A. 15 July 2007: You're really throwing the baby out with he bath water here. Rules are there to protect kids. This mat be an example of something gone wrong. This happens in EVERY aspect of life. You can't truly believe that this happens often. It's a bad ... (read in full...)
I thought everything was going great until he left his mobile in the bathroom and I had a quick look at his messages.
Q. Have been seeing a guy for about 6 weeks and really like him. I thought everything was going great until he left his mobile in the bathroom and I had a quick look at his messages. I know this was wrong but I really didn't think I'd find anything. I ...
A. 15 July 2007: Six weeks is not a long time and everything depends on how much you've seen each other. If you're really interested in him, stake your claim and make it official. ... (read in full...)
I would be interested in hearing peoples views on the inconsistancy that seems to be EVERYWHERE through the bible!
Q. This question is not so much about relationships but I am studying religious studies in college and I'm finding it fascinating! My friend is part of a pentacostal church and it's ridiculous. If anyone has seen that church scene in Borat it is just ...
A. 15 July 2007: WE had this discussion last night. I have a difficult time with the bible or any other religious book. I see the goodness in all of them. They all have a common thread of goodness. The negativity begins when people start splitting hairs. There ... (read in full...)
Why do men during sex sometimes cum fast and sometimes hold off longer?
Q. Why do men during sex sometimes cum fast and sometimes hold off longer?...
A. 15 July 2007: If you could find a way to fix that problem, bottle it and get yourself an infomercial....you'd be a billionaire !!!... (read in full...)
Is it ok to pay for sex as long as you're very careful?
Q. I am male, who is mssing sex. is it okay to pay for a shag, as long s you are very careful.....
A. 14 July 2007: I don't have a problem with the idea but think about it. Break down the process.
You pay for sex with your hard earned money.
You take your clothes off in front of a stranger who doesn't like yo and wished you were not there.
You ... (read in full...)
Do you think she will eventually get out of control and this will cause us more problems in the long run?
Q. Hey my name is Andrew.I am currently in a Long distance relationship my girlfreind is in Canada and I am in Portugal.We have been 9 months apart so far and i will be back Oct1st 2007.We were recently talking about fights that we were having because ...
A. 14 July 2007: Yo've posted this question at least 3 ties in the past week. What's going on?... (read in full...)
Am I wrong to have asked for the expensive ring back?
Q. I just bought a $3K ring for my girlfriend and then she announces she is moving out after 10 months. I asked for the ring back and that offended her? Am I wrong to have asked?...
A. 14 July 2007: Birthday gifts are for ??. Christmas gifts are for ?? edding gifts are for?? And engagement gifts are for ?? HMMM??... (read in full...)
I love my guy but when we are away from each other over summer break I feel its ok to have sex with other guys.
Q. ok so been with my man for almost 3yrs and we have gone our seperate ways on holiday for the summer i am completely in love with him and would never wanna lose him but wen ppl go away im a believer in the theory that different rules apply!i met a ...
A. 14 July 2007: what happens on your stays on your......What kind of garbage is that?.....If I rob a bank and nobody finds out, I'm not guilty of anything, correct?.....good logic.... (read in full...)
I love my guy but when we are away from each other over summer break I feel its ok to have sex with other guys.
Q. ok so been with my man for almost 3yrs and we have gone our seperate ways on holiday for the summer i am completely in love with him and would never wanna lose him but wen ppl go away im a believer in the theory that different rules apply!i met a ...
A. 13 July 2007: "I know sleeping with him was a mistake".....The answer to your question is right there. No,it's not OK to cheat on your partner. You figured out it was a mistake because you already had a lover. Why would that be a good idea. IF that is how you ... (read in full...)
Why do some people have to be so rude on DearCupid?
Q. i have a question. why do some people have to be so rude on here. whats the point in asking for help when your just going to get ridiculed half the time and not taken seriously. i believe if they need help, help the person if your just going to ...
A. 13 July 2007: The truth does not always sound nice. That's not to say the people who answer questions here are always correct either. All we have to deal with are the facts people provide. Often people only give one side of the story and it's obvious. Facts ... (read in full...)
Am I wrong to have asked for the expensive ring back?
Q. I just bought a $3K ring for my girlfriend and then she announces she is moving out after 10 months. I asked for the ring back and that offended her? Am I wrong to have asked?...
A. 13 July 2007: You should get it back. It was given with the intention of getting married, she accepted, she moved out. IT should come back to you.... (read in full...)
What makes a woman physically attractive?
Q. I am just curious. This one is for the men. What do you like to see in women based on physical appearance on how they look?...
A. 13 July 2007: This question can not be answered in a way that will give you any information. We're all different. What I liked (visually) at 18, I still like today at 44, but it would be inappropriate to chase. I have an appreciation of women my age that I ... (read in full...)
He is mad about a one night stand that happened 7 years ago!
Q. 10 Years ago I went out with this lad for 3 years, we had a very volatile relationship, we were always finishing, but was strange as we did really love each other and the sex was always great, 1 of the times we split up for 3 months a during that ...
A. 13 July 2007: Very volatile relaionship...we were always finishing...I had enough of the arguing...AND....drum roll....GOT MARRIED FOR ALL THE WRONG REASONS.......
This begs the question, if you're so wise and in tune with all the troubles of the past, what are... (read in full...)
Did she have revenge sex?
Q. Revenge Sex? My girlfriend and i were out with another couple. I knew the other girl for years, and we were all drinking. The other girl kissed me, open mouth style and I let her. My girlfriend saw this and was devistated. Two weeks late...
A. 13 July 2007: Well, that is a real leep but also a possability. HAve you asked her what happened. You can never prove where a bruise or scratch came from so don't try to be a detective. I know it will eat you up inside but keep your eyes and ears open and see ... (read in full...)
She has had too many sex partners and it bothers me!
Q. How many partners is ok for a woman to have before it is considered promiscuos? My GF is 23 and has been with 19 guys including myself, it's the fact that she racked up about 15 within 2 years that bothers me the most, all in one night stands.She ...
A. 13 July 2007: The number of guys she has been with does say something about her. It is a very high number for a young lady and I'd bet my last dollar it's way above normal. There are always exceptions to the rule but the vast majority of women would never admit ... (read in full...)
What turns a guy on?
Q. Guys what turns you on? How can a girl make sex better for you?...
A. 12 July 2007: I can tell you that I like a woman who is enthusiastic. In other words, I enjoy a lady who is as interested in being there as I am. I find that as time goes by, it's harder to capture that feeling, due to the same old routine, but that's what I ... (read in full...)
I want my guy to go down on me
Q. What can you all use to have your guy go down on you? Guys what do you like?...
A. 12 July 2007: Put the TV between your knees, tuned to the sports channel and a cold beer within reach. He'll stay down there for a while, at least until the beer's gone or half time.... (read in full...)
I expect complete commitment from him, which means no masturbating to pictures of naked women; is this expecting too much?
Q. Right, this is probably going to sound ridiculous, but it's an issue for me regardless. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost two years. I've just moved back home for the summer and we are now in seperate countries, as was the scenario ...
A. 12 July 2007: That is all nice and well intended but it's also unrealistic. You have a vision of love that is based on your youth, not experience. That is not said in a mean way, just with the experience that only time can give you.
He probably cried on the p... (read in full...)
He always suspects me of cheating. How can I reasure him?
Q. Hi everyone, My boyfriend and I have been together for 10 months now and our relationship used to not be very good (fighting all the time) but lately it has gotten much better (were very loving and sweet). I noticed in the begining that he was a ...
A. 12 July 2007: You can't prove you are not doing something. Something can only be proved when you're doing it. In other words, if he doesn't believe you, you can't do anything to put his mind at ease. For example, if he didn't hear the guy talking to you about ... (read in full...)
We love each other but she won't leave her boyfriend; how do I get over this?
Q. Okay I fell in love with a girl who was already engaged we had great times she said she felt love for me.. Months went by with this secret love of ours the most amazing time in my life, then she tells me recently she cant leave him! and to think of ...
A. 12 July 2007: Well you've learned a life lesson that will heal with time. We don't always get what we want. And this time you didn't deserve her either. Stay out of other people's relationships and you'll have better luck with your own.... (read in full...)
I'm so insecure, how can I deal with it? I don't want to lose her
Q. I have a slightly odd problem. I love my gf very much and i'm pretty sure that she loves me back. But i feel very insecure in our relationship and i need her to tell me that she loves me quite often. I also interpret a lot of things she does as ...
A. 12 July 2007: I like the reply from bitterblue, if you continue this way you'll feel the pain more than the love. Those are very wise words. Enjoy what you have because if you ruin it, someone else will take your spot.... (read in full...)
I'm so insecure, how can I deal with it? I don't want to lose her
Q. I have a slightly odd problem. I love my gf very much and i'm pretty sure that she loves me back. But i feel very insecure in our relationship and i need her to tell me that she loves me quite often. I also interpret a lot of things she does as ...
A. 12 July 2007: I like the reply from bitterblue, if you continue this way you'll feel the pain more than the love. Those are very wise words. Enjoy what you have because if you ruin it, someone else will take your spot.... (read in full...)
I expect complete commitment from him, which means no masturbating to pictures of naked women; is this expecting too much?
Q. Right, this is probably going to sound ridiculous, but it's an issue for me regardless. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost two years. I've just moved back home for the summer and we are now in seperate countries, as was the scenario ...
A. 12 July 2007: I'll be blunt. Get a grip on yourself !!!! You'd probably have a break down if you knew what else he was thinking while masturbating. Men have a mental Rolodex of past or even potential lovers to choose from.
Listen to your own words...... (read in full...)
Does anyone have any advice about overcoming your lover's past?
Q. I have been dating this girl for almost a year now and I know that she is the one... I feel it deep down inside and I am not ignorant to the desires of my heart or soul. However, there is a slight problem, and that is with her past actions wit...
A. 12 July 2007: It's good to know you realize you've made a mountain from a mole hill. I suggest that every time you feel like mentioning this to her, you go for a walk.
As you said, she owes you no apology. The conversation should never have taken place in... (read in full...)
Who agrees that a man really would choose a porn star over the woman he's with?
Q. I have read the many of the posts about porn and was interested in asking a question. One of the agony aunts (incidently who I think is excellent and gives very insghtful adice btw). said the following in response to a question about porn..I have ...
A. 11 July 2007: I would have to disagree. Average, normal people are not hookers, drug dealers or porn stars. These are people who live on the fringes and do things 99 % of the population would consider to be morally wrong. In this world, we base our standards ... (read in full...)
Who agrees that a man really would choose a porn star over the woman he's with?
Q. I have read the many of the posts about porn and was interested in asking a question. One of the agony aunts (incidently who I think is excellent and gives very insghtful adice btw). said the following in response to a question about porn..I have ...
A. 11 July 2007: I happen to think porn stars are very shallow people, as far as love goes. I'm at a point in my life where I would not want to be with someone who didn't want to be with me. In other words, the fact that someone is getting paid to perform sex, ... (read in full...)
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