A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have a best friend who declared his undying love for me but he is married to a very dominant lady whilst he is very weak and he had decided a while ago he was leaving through unhappiness but didn't. His wife stopped us seeing each other because she felt we were being too friendly (even though said friend hadnt revealed his feelings till after).We were going to meet secretly just to talk about things but today I received an e mail saying He couldn't do it and he was sorry for hurting me and would back off from me.I feel totally distraught because we are good friends!and i don't know whether to get in touch!!! plz help
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2007): If the wife tells the strumpet to keep away why does the woman keep plugging away until he leaves his wife. The heart ache to the children is devastating and if the wife has been loyal and has trusted her husband what makes the other woman think she is going to be treated differently.
A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (16 June 2007):
 Did his wife stop him seeing you or was it just an excuse he used, he has stayed with his wife all this time so walk away babe find someone that is worth all your love and attention and good luck.
Take care.xx.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2007): Its time to walk away now, no matter how dominant his wife is this man has his own mind and he has chosen to stay with his wife and not be with you,he as sent you an email as a coward's way out-what he is trying to say is that he doesn't want you anymore,you see even though he was your friend married men can pick you and drop whenever they feel like it that's just what they do, they are heartless shits. I deeply feel for you because i know how it feels,you have't to move on now ok,please don't ring him,email him or text just let this loser carry on with his sad life-he will regret it one day. xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2007): Dear, leave the man alone now. He wants to save his marriage...you need to respect that. Was he really just your 'best friend'? Did he confide a lot of 'uncomplimentary tidbits' about his wife, to you? If he did, what you had with this married man was not simply a 'friendship', it was an affair of the emotional kind. The beginning of an emotional affair is when one person shares problems with another person, about their primary partner (his wife). He was investing a lot of his emotional energy into you, instead of her. And you both were very wrong to do this. This could've turned into a sexual affair eventually. He was confiding to you about her, because he was weak..he was fearful that talking to his wife about problems, would invite rejection and pain from her. That should've been your first red flag. What's happened is his wife likely clued into problems. They started talking and sharing more-and both have agreed to make it work. This is what he should have been doing in the first place, rather than using you as his sounding board. So if you want to rationalize and call him your friend, go ahead. But I see this as an emotional affair, which is often, even more deadly than just a sexual affair. He went outside of his marriage to get something, he should've been getting at home. And if his wife was not complying, he should've been trying to talk to her...not turning to you. This is why you are distraught. You invested a lot of your time and energy into this man with the secret hope, he'd leave her for you. Didn't happen. You both went over the line. And look where that has led. He's gone and you are now you are feel distraught, confused. Learn from this experience, hun and move on. Let go. You will heal from this, but you need to accept he is gone. Take care, dear and I wish you well.
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A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (16 June 2007):
 His wife stopped you two because she sensed something was going on. She was correct. She got a vibe from her husband because she knows him inside out and back wards. Married people pick up on that stuff.
You were not friends either. You might have thought you were, or perhaps it started that way, but there were feelings in the background. That makes it something other than a friendship. When we have true friends, we want good things for them and the people in their inner circle. That would include his wife and kids. You don't want that though. That makes him more of a love interest, and you, a threat to his wife.
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A
male
reader, Wild Thaing +, writes (16 June 2007):
 I suppose you can't imagine what it would be like to find out your husband loves someone else. If you could, you wouldn't have anything further to do with this weak man.
You clearly have self-esteem issues. It's bad enough that you would cheapen yourself in this way, but you also want a weak man. There is nothing more I can say that would sink in to your world of self-inflicted hurt.
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (16 June 2007):
 You have already said he is very weak so what on earth makes you think he would leave his wife? 95% of men NEVER leave them hun and he's no different. I wouldn't email him back, I'd forget about him and find someone single that you don't need to share.
Regarding still being friends... remember, he's married! Meet only with other friends and not on a one to one basis. If you meet alone with him you're only asking for trouble.
Eve
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