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... Send *ddie a private message | | | *ddie's profile:Hi there. I go by Eddie. I'm from Canada. I have a great wife and two great kids, both teenagers. I've been with my wife for 21 years and we dated for two years before that.
I enjoy travel and learning new things. Different cultures interest me and what makes them tick. I think there is always a reason for the way certain cultures do things and many times we are too quick to judge things that we find odd.
The more places I go and the more people I meet, the more I see that we are so similar. Everybody is trying to enjoy life but we are all influenced along the way by the stuff that "happens". The trick is to learn from the lessons and carry on. I have a short fuse for infedility and take marriage very seriously. It's not from personal experiences either. I just don't understand why people don't seem to fix the problems in their marriages before they create more. I see lots of questions on this site pertaining to this topic, that's why I added this part. |
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| Latest articles: Why do people think the unattached person in a love triangle is a victim?
This question has 9 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 September 2007: Why is it that people get involved in love triangles and feel rejected when they don't work out? Why do so many agony aunts treat the third member of the triangle as a victim? I'm tired of hearing people reccommend.... "distance yourself from hi...
Fidelity and marriage
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 May 2007: Many times, we see questions asking for advice about marriage, monotony and fidelity. I tend to be cut and dry on this topic and often without compassion for the person struggling in this area. What bothers me most, is the ability of people to ...
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How do I know if he has feelings for me or if he is just controlling?
Q. For the past 3 years I have worked with D. We both have partners,but unhappy. We are really close at work. I have told him my feelings of love. We went out once and felt guilty...since then we have tried to maintain a friendship and work ...
A. 11 July 2007: I'm 44, two kids 18 and 15. My wife is 43. First marriage for both of us, 21 years, going well too.
Society doesn't see cheating as acceptable either. I'm not naive...at all. I've been around the block, take my word on that. Look how easily y... (read in full...)
How do I know if he has feelings for me or if he is just controlling?
Q. For the past 3 years I have worked with D. We both have partners,but unhappy. We are really close at work. I have told him my feelings of love. We went out once and felt guilty...since then we have tried to maintain a friendship and work ...
A. 10 July 2007: Why would you assume that you are being a martyr by staying in the marriage? Why would you assume your husband would be the one to leave the house? Maybe you should be the one to go. From what you've said, you're the one who is creating something ... (read in full...)
How do I know if he has feelings for me or if he is just controlling?
Q. For the past 3 years I have worked with D. We both have partners,but unhappy. We are really close at work. I have told him my feelings of love. We went out once and felt guilty...since then we have tried to maintain a friendship and work ...
A. 10 July 2007: Don't insult me as a man. As a human I can understand what you're up to. As a man I can understand that if I was your husband, I'd be very badly hurt to know what you were up too. Emotionally involved is CHEATING. You even said so in one of your ... (read in full...)
How do I know if he has feelings for me or if he is just controlling?
Q. For the past 3 years I have worked with D. We both have partners,but unhappy. We are really close at work. I have told him my feelings of love. We went out once and felt guilty...since then we have tried to maintain a friendship and work ...
A. 10 July 2007: I'm sorry to say this but your are a very selfish, person. After all the advice you've been given, you finally find light at the end of the tunnel when someone replies who's doing the same rotten thing you are. And, involving your kids puts the ... (read in full...)
How do I know if he has feelings for me or if he is just controlling?
Q. For the past 3 years I have worked with D. We both have partners,but unhappy. We are really close at work. I have told him my feelings of love. We went out once and felt guilty...since then we have tried to maintain a friendship and work ...
A. 8 July 2007: The ONLY way you can get this right is to get it into your head that this guy means harm to your marriage and you're too weak to fight. In order to do this, you need to respect your marriage to overcome your weakness. Instead of fighting for ... (read in full...)
How do I know if he has feelings for me or if he is just controlling?
Q. For the past 3 years I have worked with D. We both have partners,but unhappy. We are really close at work. I have told him my feelings of love. We went out once and felt guilty...since then we have tried to maintain a friendship and work ...
A. 8 July 2007: Emotional adultery is when you are spending time nurturing feelings for someone else, other than your partner. If it was a good thing, you'd tell your partner about how you really like this other guy and you went out with him once and you felt ... (read in full...)
How do I know if he has feelings for me or if he is just controlling?
Q. For the past 3 years I have worked with D. We both have partners,but unhappy. We are really close at work. I have told him my feelings of love. We went out once and felt guilty...since then we have tried to maintain a friendship and work ...
A. 7 July 2007: You're committing emotional adultery. It's plain and simple. He likes you, you like him,you both know it, you giggle and say silly things to each other, you went out and later felt guilty (if it' so innocent, why feelings of guilt), you're both ... (read in full...)
He visited prostitutes and wants me to forget about it! I love him but don't respect him!
Q. I have just found out my h has been sleeping with prostitutes while I was pregnant. Bub now 8 weeks old. Says he wont do it again, doesn't want to destroy our family (also have 2 yo) but has never really apologized and is acting as if nothing has ...
A. 7 July 2007: What he did was terrible. If you say you still love him, I'd get some therapy for this issue, as a couple. You have to make peace with this and he needs to feel some remorse. Were yo giving him sex at home?
Men CAN have sex, merely for the sake... (read in full...)
We don't choose to be attracted to people. It just happens. When it does, should we just dismiss these feelings under the aegis of "respect"?
Q. I recently posted regarding my problem, that is, I have very strong feelings for a married female co-worker. I got the expected responses (i.e. stay away from her!!!) but my feelings persist. I simply cannot stop thinking about her. I won't bore ...
A. 7 July 2007: It sounds like yo have a plan. Those office drinking get togethers are notorious for fanning the flames on an ugly situation like this.... (read in full...)
I love my boyfriend but I don't fancy him anymore
Q. I love my boyfriend and have been with him for 4 years, but i just dont fancy him anymore. I dont want to leave him i want our relationship to work. Hes sweet and kind and he loves me too. How can i get the desire back for him physically....
A. 6 July 2007: The MOST important thing here is the fact your see there is a problem. Talk to your boyfriend and let him know there are some things bothering you. Don't be so blunt that you'll crush him emotionally. Instead of telling him your not attracted to ... (read in full...)
I acted very jealous one night when we were out and now she's being a bit cold towards me, how do I deal with this?
Q. On a night out with girlfriend and friends I got very drunk and acted very jealously. I appologised the next day to my girlfriend but have found her being a little cold to me since. I find myself now over accommodating for the shakiness in our ...
A. 5 July 2007: What did you do and say?... (read in full...)
We don't choose to be attracted to people. It just happens. When it does, should we just dismiss these feelings under the aegis of "respect"?
Q. I recently posted regarding my problem, that is, I have very strong feelings for a married female co-worker. I got the expected responses (i.e. stay away from her!!!) but my feelings persist. I simply cannot stop thinking about her. I won't bore ...
A. 5 July 2007: I'd like to add one more point to my previous reply......
Let's assume you made your thoughts known to this woman. She left her husband and went with you. You eventually married and had kids. As a loving spouse, you encouraged your wife to ... (read in full...)
We don't choose to be attracted to people. It just happens. When it does, should we just dismiss these feelings under the aegis of "respect"?
Q. I recently posted regarding my problem, that is, I have very strong feelings for a married female co-worker. I got the expected responses (i.e. stay away from her!!!) but my feelings persist. I simply cannot stop thinking about her. I won't bore ...
A. 5 July 2007: Hi there. I'm the person you're talking about, the one who responded about respect. I'd like to comment about respecting your own feelings.
The most important thing is to realize that although you have feelings, they're not good ones, with res... (read in full...)
I can't stop thinking about an older married woman, I think I'm in love
Q. I have a problem. I think i'm in love. This is weird - i met this woman about 9 years older then me i'm in my 20's and she's in her 30's. She used to drive me after work we used to work together. Then I started to fall in love with her. She ...
A. 5 July 2007: She's married and has kids. Keep your pants on and give your head a shake. You have absolutely NO BUSINESS acting on your thoughts, under any circumstances. NONE. No matter what you feel or despite any invitation you could potentially get. If ... (read in full...)
I feel he shouldn't be spending time with her with he should be with me
Q. my boyfriend of 8 yrs plays darts and his friends wife calls him when her husbands out of town to take her to the bar; she too is his friend they all play darts together when her husbands home i cant stand the idea of him spending time with her when ...
A. 5 July 2007: Why should he be with you? It is his night to play darts. If his male friend was home you wouldn't be complaining. So in reality, it's not the time, it's the company he's keeping. Is this a dart league and are there other people there too? I ... (read in full...)
I dont trust my boyfriend because he talks to other girls
Q. Me and my boyfriend recently got back together after a break up that happened about a week ago, we've been dating almost 2 years. Over that past week he told me he needed to find himself, so I gave him the time and space to do so, and we got back ...
A. 5 July 2007: People do explode when being controlled by others. How can you tell someone they are not allowed to talk to a person of the opposite sex. If you expect someone to live by that rule then you deserve what ever you get. It is an unrealistic ... (read in full...)
I have the biggest crush on a guy at work!!
Q. I've fallen for a guy at work, we get on really well as friends, we have loads in common, and his family like me. Only problem is he has a girlfriend, and I'm friends with her. I would never do anything while he's still dating her, I'm not that kind ...
A. 4 July 2007: Good, don't then. Mission accomplished.... (read in full...)
She is going back to her ex, but we still care about each other and I want to be supportive
Q. Hi I wrote a few months ago about a situation I'd found myself in with a woman I work with. We'd been out a few times and quickly realised that we both liked each other alot. She'd had a particularly rough time in her previous relationship wit...
A. 4 July 2007: Finally !!!!! Somebody who has done the right thing. I applaud you and your stance. You have taken the back seat to what you would really desire. Despite your feelings, you've given her the space to do what she feels she needs to do. This is ... (read in full...)
I have the biggest crush on a guy at work!!
Q. I've fallen for a guy at work, we get on really well as friends, we have loads in common, and his family like me. Only problem is he has a girlfriend, and I'm friends with her. I would never do anything while he's still dating her, I'm not that kind ...
A. 4 July 2007: OK, so his mother interferes....and now, so do you. You said you weren't that kind of person. You are apparently and you're muddying the waters. Call it what it is.... (read in full...)
We lost contact and now I want to see him again to tell him I love him
Q. I know that this must sound horrible, but I am unfortunetely desperate. There's a guy I've been good friends with for a long while, and I could even say that I love him. However, he's dating a girl that treats him horribly. Unfortunetely, I went ...
A. 4 July 2007: Actually, you may be the one who's blinded. You see her as bad because you want him. It's quite possible your view is tainted by your desire for him. Can you elaborate and say why she is so terrible? That would help to clarify if she is actually ... (read in full...)
She's not happy with her boyfriend and is sleeping with me; am I just wasting my time with her?
Q. ive been sleeping with a women ive knowen for a few years, i worked with her boyfriend for two years about 8 weeks ago we were in town we kissed and ever since then we have been having sex on a regular basis, ive spoken to her on a personal level, ...
A. 4 July 2007: Actually, she sounds like a terrible choice for a partner. Look at her track record. She's a cheater, liar etc. Is this what you want. Look for a partner with integrity. She says she doesn't want to hurt him. So she screws you. Something ... (read in full...)
He's moving out of our mother's finally but he's just replacing her with a girlfriend
Q. My 37 yr old brother has yet to cut the cord with our mom. Now he tells me he wants to do just that and finally move out. But his plan is to move into his wealthy girlfriends furnished house in florida. How can I make him see he's replacing one ...
A. 4 July 2007: Good answer Frank. Let him do his thing.... (read in full...)
I'm in love with my wife's sister!
Q. i am in love with my wife's sister...she is getting divorced. i am not in love with my wife anymore.i want to be with my wife's sister...should i tell her and hope for the best or what...
A. 4 July 2007: Great answer LauraE. No good cancome of this.
You know that. You'd have to go and live with her on some deserted island.... (read in full...)
After two passion-less relationships I slept with a man who was red hot in bed... !
Q. I was in a less than passionate relationship for 7 years. After that ended, my next boyfriend's sexual desire was almost nonexistent(he never desired it). I desired it every day. Being rejected physically for such a long time took it's toll and just ...
A. 4 July 2007: I do believe that on average, most women desire sex less often than men. I think that is natural. That is why you felt embarrassed in the morning. Many women are taught not to show their sexual side or to seek sex from men. Men are taught or ... (read in full...)
Why do men look at other women?
Q. Why do married men--or any man for that matter--stare at other women when they want to be with you and they love you and all that stuff? Men are so confusing sometimes I'm surprised I have nerves left....
A. 4 July 2007: Although I agree that many women take their men for granted after they know they've hooked the guy, it's not necessarily connected.
People are geared that way. Men in particular are visually stimulated. They're not staring because of love, it... (read in full...)
My boyfriend demanded all my passwords and that I stop talking to a friend--is he controlling?
Q. Hello, My name is Natalie. I am 19 years old and having some ridiculous boyfriend troubles. My boyfriend, Joe, of 8 months, knew my email password and I assume has been checking it often. Last night, he texted me freaking out about how he rea...
A. 4 July 2007: Yes, your boyfriend is controlling and should not be checking your email. On the other hand, you shouldn't be drooling over this old flame, telling him how wonderful he was and about the wonderful memories you have of him. Unfortunately, much of ... (read in full...)
How do I know if he has feelings for me or if he is just controlling?
Q. For the past 3 years I have worked with D. We both have partners,but unhappy. We are really close at work. I have told him my feelings of love. We went out once and felt guilty...since then we have tried to maintain a friendship and work ...
A. 4 July 2007: First of all, stop kidding yourself, he's not a friend. He's a guy you're sneaking around with and committing adultery. Friends help each other and enjoy doing things together, usually not naked or in a lustful manner.
First big mistake.... (read in full...)
My jealousy is making me nutty--what do I do?
Q. What are the views of everyone on your partner being friends with his ex wife. Is it acceptable for them to take their child of 17 out on his birthday? Bearing in mind that the ex has not moved on, and gets my partner round at every opportun...
A. 4 July 2007: Up to the part about him having sex with her, I was on his side. You have good reason not to be in favor of them spending time together. At least not alone. He lost that privilege when he cheated.... (read in full...)
I have the biggest crush on a guy at work!!
Q. I've fallen for a guy at work, we get on really well as friends, we have loads in common, and his family like me. Only problem is he has a girlfriend, and I'm friends with her. I would never do anything while he's still dating her, I'm not that kind ...
A. 3 July 2007: You are that kind of person as noted by the fact you're counting his mother as a powerful ally....Ally for what?... (read in full...)
If women cheat on a man, could it be that something is missing in what he is able to give a relationship?
Q. If a man has had two women who he loved who cheated on him would you assume something is missing in what he is able to give to a relationship? This guy seems so emotionally detached....
A. 3 July 2007: That is hard to say. What type of women was he with? I don't believe most women tend to cheat. The women I've know that cheat usually lacked something emotionally. So, it either had to be something they missed growing up or it could be from the ... (read in full...)
I've got a boyfriend; should I go on holiday with my male friend who fancies me?
Q. Is it wrong to go on vacation to Europe for two weeks with my best friend, who happens to be a guy with a huge crush on me, when I am just starting to date someone new? I know the new guy I'm seeing gets jealous from time to time, and he knows my ...
A. 3 July 2007: You already know that answer to this question. LauraE had a great reply.
Lets be serious. There is jealousy and unfounded jealousy. Your boyfriend has EVERY reason to be jealous in this situation. Trust is very important in a relation... (read in full...)
We forgave each other for cheating but can we still make it?
Q. i`ve been with my current girlfiend for over a year we are going through our roughest time yet she claims shes had sex behind my back a few weeks ago to make matters worse i slept with my ex lst yr she forgave me and i forgave her can we still be a ...
A. 3 July 2007: I wouldn't get married any time soon. Why did she cheat? It's only been a few weeks. Why did you cheat?
Take your time.
eddie... (read in full...)
My boyfriend and his ex are going away together without me
Q. My boyfriend of 6 months still talks to his ex. He doesn't try to hide anything but says they are still friends. They are both going to an out of town wedding of a mutual friend. I am very concerned about this and wonder if I should tell him how I ...
A. 3 July 2007: I understand your reasoning because I've been in a similar situation. Be careful though, it could get ugly if this is something you continue to do. You're basically telling your guy you don't trust him. Or perhaps what you telling him is ... (read in full...)
I have the biggest crush on a guy at work!!
Q. I've fallen for a guy at work, we get on really well as friends, we have loads in common, and his family like me. Only problem is he has a girlfriend, and I'm friends with her. I would never do anything while he's still dating her, I'm not that kind ...
A. 2 July 2007: You should mind your business until he's single. Everything you do is influenced by your attraction to him.... (read in full...)
I love my husband but our marriage isn't great; now I've fallen for a guy at work
Q. Long story. I have fallen for a guy at work. He feels the same and we are in love. I have been married 18 months and everything was fine until this guy came along. It isn't infatuation - I know how being in love feels. I think of this guy 24/7 and ...
A. 2 July 2007: Let's get one thing straight, this type of thing never starts as harmless fun. It starts as people stroking each others senses, playing the game. Often, one of the players is not married and has nothing to lose. For that person it's fun. It's ... (read in full...)
Do I dump my 2nd family for my 1st wife?
Q. I am married for 13 years with 3 kids, a great family life and friends, I am very successful. Sounds great, huh? I have one issue... I am not in love with my wife, I am done "trying" to love her (yes, we did seek therapy and yes things are better ...
A. 2 July 2007: The truth is this, you've been cheating on your current wife for the last six years. It is cheating when you're carrying onwith someone youhave feelings for and you're married to someone else.
When your marriage was in trouble, you went to ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend and his ex are going away together without me
Q. My boyfriend of 6 months still talks to his ex. He doesn't try to hide anything but says they are still friends. They are both going to an out of town wedding of a mutual friend. I am very concerned about this and wonder if I should tell him how I ...
A. 2 July 2007: Were you invited? Is your boyfriend not allowed to bring a guest? Either way, he is always going to meet up with women wherever he goes. That is the truth of life. Some of them will be pretty and he'll find some to be attractive. That will ... (read in full...)
I spend a lot of money on her all the time and I feel she doesn't appreciate it
Q. I currently live with my girlfriend. I feel that she is very ungrateful to me. I pay 2/3 of the rent, and all of the food and utilities. She makes twice the money that I do (I'm a student) and spends all of her money on her horses. Whenever we go ...
A. 2 July 2007: You didn't mention if you've discussed this with her. If you haven't, you should because the resentment is building.
I once let resentment grow in my relationship, and if left to fester, it eventually explodes in other ways. People get accu... (read in full...)
I caught him with an "old friend"--what does it mean?
Q. OK, bizarre story. Boyfriend of 6 months told me he was going away for the wknd for work. No big deal, I travel for work too. I was driving to a friend's place on the weekend - I see my BOYFRIEND walking with another girl, and her dog. Not hol...
A. 2 July 2007: It sounds fishy to me. Everything he said could be true but you have to weigh the odds of it actually being true. Unless he stumbled across this person by accident, I would assume you'd be the person he called first.
The fact he followed... (read in full...)
I can't bring myself to leave my husband but I can't end my affair
Q. I am very confused and need help. I have been married for almost ten years. About fours years after we were married I became pregnant and was blessed with a beautiful daughter. Unfortunately, I became very ill during the pregnancy and almost died ...
A. 30 June 2007: You sound like you mean what you say and realize what you did was wrong. It also happens all the time. I give your husband credit for wanting to work this out, that' would be tough for his pride.
You've already figured out how this happened... (read in full...)
My husband is overprotective
Q. hi everyone im a 33 year old wife and happy with my husband but sometimes he can be acting a little overprotected. i was just wondering if u guys can help on wether or not go to a trip with my sister and her family with my kids. i asked my husband ...
A. 30 June 2007: You have to give more background information. I don't believe the word "overprotective" is accurate. The word should probably be controlling.
Who and what is he really protecting? I imagine the only person he's protecting is himself. He's po... (read in full...)
I want to send my boyfriend naked pics of myself
Q. My boyfried of two years is now long distance and I miss our sex life. Would it be stupid to e-mail him some nude pictures of myself? I am no model and a little bit round around the waist. Will he be shocked? How do I pose?...
A. 30 June 2007: I wouldn't do it. You're young and have a long life ahead of you. My point is, you don't know where those pictures will end up.
Be careful.... (read in full...)
He's acting suspiciously and I think he's cheating; should I leave him?
Q. i am currently with a man whom for 4yrs we have been going out as a couple. recently things aint been great due to the fact that he`s a selfish,self centered pig,and i love him. i am 99% sure hes having an affair,secret txts,silent phone ...
A. 27 June 2007: You just said he's a selfish, self centered pig, followed by....and I love him. That is what you need to figure out.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend hasn't let his female best friend and I meet
Q. My boyfriend's best friend is another woman, who doesn't seem to be interested in getting to know me. I've asked to meet her to no avail. He spends time either with her or me and never with both of us. I know there isn't anything going on between ...
A. 27 June 2007: How long has he been your boyfriend and how did you ask to meet her. I can't imagine my partner having a best friend who I've never met. Perhaps you're using the term best friend a little too easily. It would be difficult for my wife not to see ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend hates that I'm still affectionate with the father of my child--what can I do?
Q. I feel that my boyfriend of almost a year whom I love very much is trying to control me! I have a son from a previous BF and for the sake of my son he and I are friends. We are Hispanic and have a very close relationship so we kiss on the cheek and ...
A. 26 June 2007: It's hard to say. My wife is Hispanic too and Latin people are this way. On the other hand, you don't need to go to this extent with him. If you are that close to your child's father, explain the situation. If he respects you (the father), he'll ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to want to cheat on my husband with a married man?
Q. I'm in a bit of bother! I have feelings for my friends husband, and he has feelings for me too (More sexually driven). We love our partners but have this urge for each other that is so so so strong. We dont see each other anymore but we still cha...
A. 26 June 2007: It's not wrong to feel anything or have a desire. What's wrong is the fact you guys have this dirty little secret. If you hadn't been flirting with each other, nobody would have known. You chose to make the feelings evident thus creating the ... (read in full...)
He makes sexual demands all the time and I can't always be bothered
Q. i am 31 and my fiance is 46. he wants oral sex all the time and sometimes i just don't feel like doing it. i love him and want this relationship to work but he is constantly making a big issue that i don't satisfy him the way he wants me to. he also ...
A. 26 June 2007: Much of this depends on how he demands. If he is merely asking and you're giving in, you must set the limits. If he is harping on you relentlessly, he has to be set straight.
It's easier for the person with the lower sex drive to accommod... (read in full...)
Is it true that women don't like sex?
Q. I carry this predisposition about women that they don't like men, sex and any kind of male intimacy. May be based on my mom's attitude. Also i find it inadequate if the women i am having sex with doesn't like it or has a negative impression about it ...
A. 26 June 2007: I think that women do enjoy sex but on a more mature level than men, generally speaking. Women tend to have sex as a result of a mental bond where as men have sex merely because the opportunity arises.
There are many jokes about women doing it... (read in full...)
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