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... Send *ddie a private message | | | *ddie's profile:Hi there. I go by Eddie. I'm from Canada. I have a great wife and two great kids, both teenagers. I've been with my wife for 21 years and we dated for two years before that.
I enjoy travel and learning new things. Different cultures interest me and what makes them tick. I think there is always a reason for the way certain cultures do things and many times we are too quick to judge things that we find odd.
The more places I go and the more people I meet, the more I see that we are so similar. Everybody is trying to enjoy life but we are all influenced along the way by the stuff that "happens". The trick is to learn from the lessons and carry on. I have a short fuse for infedility and take marriage very seriously. It's not from personal experiences either. I just don't understand why people don't seem to fix the problems in their marriages before they create more. I see lots of questions on this site pertaining to this topic, that's why I added this part. |
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| Latest articles: Why do people think the unattached person in a love triangle is a victim?
This question has 9 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 September 2007: Why is it that people get involved in love triangles and feel rejected when they don't work out? Why do so many agony aunts treat the third member of the triangle as a victim? I'm tired of hearing people reccommend.... "distance yourself from hi...
Fidelity and marriage
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 May 2007: Many times, we see questions asking for advice about marriage, monotony and fidelity. I tend to be cut and dry on this topic and often without compassion for the person struggling in this area. What bothers me most, is the ability of people to ...
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Who agrees that a man really would choose a porn star over the woman he's with?
Q. I have read the many of the posts about porn and was interested in asking a question. One of the agony aunts (incidently who I think is excellent and gives very insghtful adice btw). said the following in response to a question about porn..I have ...
A. 11 July 2007: I would have to disagree. Average, normal people are not hookers, drug dealers or porn stars. These are people who live on the fringes and do things 99 % of the population would consider to be morally wrong. In this world, we base our standards ... (read in full...)
My wife wants me to sleep with her sister...is that wrong?
Q. Dear Cupid, I have a good relationship with my wife even though there was some infidelity on my wife's part a few years ago. Her sister has also been a victim of infidelity, and hasn't had sex in years with her husband who is just not interested in ...
A. 11 July 2007: It sounds like all the players in this scenario have had rocky relationships. Do you think that sometimes people bring it on themselves? I'd suggest that you'd be creating a lot more heart ache. Really, of all the things your sister in law could ... (read in full...)
Who agrees that a man really would choose a porn star over the woman he's with?
Q. I have read the many of the posts about porn and was interested in asking a question. One of the agony aunts (incidently who I think is excellent and gives very insghtful adice btw). said the following in response to a question about porn..I have ...
A. 11 July 2007: I happen to think porn stars are very shallow people, as far as love goes. I'm at a point in my life where I would not want to be with someone who didn't want to be with me. In other words, the fact that someone is getting paid to perform sex, ... (read in full...)
My married colleague and I got close but cooled it so as not to hurt anyone; now I want to move on
Q. Thank you in advance to all who respond to this. I became quite close to a guy who I worked with this year. He was married and so both he and I decided to cool everything...I did not want to hurt anyone and neither did he. We have kept up a casual ...
A. 11 July 2007: He probably saw the light and is trying to get some relief from his feelings of guilt. He might be overemphasizing his family to try and repair some of the harm he did. They're only words but they might reinforce his decision to do the proper ... (read in full...)
I saw my best friend's husband cheating on her!
Q. Ok, so here's my problem. My bestfriend started dating this guy about three years ago. Pretty much that whole time there were rumors he was cheating on her. I told her many times that this was going on (not that it was necessarly true just that I ...
A. 11 July 2007: You said something that caught my eye..."I do like him" and "he treats her very well and she's happy".....That unfortunately is a big load of @#$%...
She's only happy because of ignorance. He doesn't' treat her well at all, he treats her horr... (read in full...)
How do I know if he has feelings for me or if he is just controlling?
Q. For the past 3 years I have worked with D. We both have partners,but unhappy. We are really close at work. I have told him my feelings of love. We went out once and felt guilty...since then we have tried to maintain a friendship and work ...
A. 11 July 2007: I'm 44, two kids 18 and 15. My wife is 43. First marriage for both of us, 21 years, going well too.
Society doesn't see cheating as acceptable either. I'm not naive...at all. I've been around the block, take my word on that. Look how easily y... (read in full...)
How do I know if he has feelings for me or if he is just controlling?
Q. For the past 3 years I have worked with D. We both have partners,but unhappy. We are really close at work. I have told him my feelings of love. We went out once and felt guilty...since then we have tried to maintain a friendship and work ...
A. 10 July 2007: Why would you assume that you are being a martyr by staying in the marriage? Why would you assume your husband would be the one to leave the house? Maybe you should be the one to go. From what you've said, you're the one who is creating something ... (read in full...)
How do I know if he has feelings for me or if he is just controlling?
Q. For the past 3 years I have worked with D. We both have partners,but unhappy. We are really close at work. I have told him my feelings of love. We went out once and felt guilty...since then we have tried to maintain a friendship and work ...
A. 10 July 2007: Don't insult me as a man. As a human I can understand what you're up to. As a man I can understand that if I was your husband, I'd be very badly hurt to know what you were up too. Emotionally involved is CHEATING. You even said so in one of your ... (read in full...)
MEN!!!! I just don't get them!
Q. MEN!!!! I just don't get em, ime a warm loving woman, laid back easy going, up for a laugh and giving the guy his space... What more can i do?!!! never go out hunting just go out for fun, lotsa male friends in work and hobby areas too........MEN ...
A. 10 July 2007: You don't say waht you're looking for. A boyfriend?... (read in full...)
My husband completedly overreacted, but how do I make this better?
Q. My husband is on stress overload because of a bully at work. I try to listen,help and understand. Then out of the blue he freaks out over my loading a program. Starts yelling/screaming/jumping up and down/throwing chairs. He then proceeds to give me ...
A. 10 July 2007: You loaded a program and he freaked out. Somehting is missing in the information you provided.... (read in full...)
My married boyfriend wont leave his wife for me and so I hate HER!
Q. I need your help once again! Not too long ago, I had doubts concerning a married guy that I was with. I wasn't sure about whether he'd leave his wife or not. Now, I am sure that he won't leave her because everything that wasn't "working" between ...
A. 10 July 2007: This must be a joke because it sounds so silly and immature. Get a grip. Your feelings in this scenario are of little importance.... (read in full...)
A woman has made it known she wants sex with my boyfriend!
Q. my boyfriend and i have been dating six years. recently he became attracted to a woman in his apartment building. she is attracted to him and all he does is talk about her. He told me in a round about way that she was interested in him sexually. ...
A. 10 July 2007: It doesn't sound like a very good situation. IT seems you know too much about this other womans business. I assume the information is coming form your boyfriend, meaning he's been told too much information. This means they're having inappropriate ... (read in full...)
She is after my guy!
Q. i've been with my boyfriend for 3 years - normal, happy with ups and downs. we're working things out, we're very in love with each other. recently, he met this girl (a family friend) from a family bbq (that i couldnt go to). his family jokingly/...
A. 10 July 2007: She quite possibly does want more. When your boyfriend told her you two had a fight, he was actually giving her encouragement to keep contacting him, even if he thought it was innocent. This is the classic way affairs start, people sharing too ... (read in full...)
My friend got naked at a party to show my husband what a great body she has
Q. I used to think my husband and i were quite strong and that he loved me but now i am not so sure we had a party and my friend came, she has lost a lot of weight and looks real good now i on the other hand am over weight i am trying to lose it ...
A. 10 July 2007: IT sounds like they are a little strange. It also sounds like you're a little insecure about your weight. Lose the wright and maybe lose the friend. Are you guys the swinging type. Most people don't get naked at parties unless they feel nobody ... (read in full...)
Is my friend being jealous and unreasonable, or did I overstep my bounds
Q. okay so i have drama in y life. One of my closest friends is mad at me because i slept with a guy that she slept with. Now in the grand scheme of things i know thta it could be wierd to share something like that but heres where im feeling like she a ...
A. 10 July 2007: This is a foolish game. She is acting very strange and women often do this. It's some weird rule that women have about ownership for life, of the rights to any guy they looked at twice.... (read in full...)
How do I know if he has feelings for me or if he is just controlling?
Q. For the past 3 years I have worked with D. We both have partners,but unhappy. We are really close at work. I have told him my feelings of love. We went out once and felt guilty...since then we have tried to maintain a friendship and work ...
A. 10 July 2007: I'm sorry to say this but your are a very selfish, person. After all the advice you've been given, you finally find light at the end of the tunnel when someone replies who's doing the same rotten thing you are. And, involving your kids puts the ... (read in full...)
I've just broken up with a player, I'm not devastated and I didn't love the bloke, but I soooooo want to teach him a lesson!
Q. Ok ok, for starters I don't want do gooders here! I don't want comments or advice from people who think I'm sad and bitter and I should move on and forget and forgive ok? I've just broken up with a player, I'm not devastated and I didn't love the ...
A. 9 July 2007: If you knew he was a player and had broken so many hearts, why were you with him? Answer that.... (read in full...)
How do I get over past mistakes made by my wife?
Q. How do I get over past mistakes made by my wife? Here's the story. When we first got together, it was over the internet while playing an online game. We were both married to others at the time, and both couples spent time together on this game. ...
A. 9 July 2007: I like Danielepew's answer. I also think this relationship moved along quite quickly and her feelings of love and commitment were not as solidified as yours were. That doesn't mean she doesn't love you, just that she was keeping her options open ... (read in full...)
How do I get my boyfriend to stop spying on me?
Q. My boyfriend of 1.5 yr won't stop spying on me. He takes my cell phone without my knowledge and reads texts, goes through my recent calls. We have an otherwise great relationship. I want him to trust me. I have done nothing to betray him, yet ...
A. 8 July 2007: This will turn into a disaster. Are you not insulted that he actually believes you are that shallow that you'd cheat on him. He's telling you that you're unable to be trusted or handle yourself without his supervision and approval. That is not ... (read in full...)
He treats me like crap. What should I do?
Q. me and my boyfriend have been togeather for 6 years. i luv him alot. But i wonder if he really luvs me.He never takes me anywhere or buys me anything. If I ask him for anthing including sex. Its always NO! Whats the big deal, Id do anything for him. ...
A. 8 July 2007: You need to sit down and have a heart to heart with this guy. Lay it on the line. If he doesn't care, move on. Do things in the right order so you can at least keep your integrity in tact. End what you've got before you start something else.... (read in full...)
Am I possessive, or is going camping with another guy normal?
Q. Hi, Have used this site before and it helped me out a lot so I hope it can this time. Basically me and my girlfriend have been together for about 7-8 months, we both love each other, but living a bit too far away from each other to see each othe...
A. 8 July 2007: I think it's a horrible idea for people of the opposite sex to go off together like that. Trusting is one thing but sticking your head in the lions mouth is another. It may be innocent but it's inappropriate. Even if you keep your feelings under ... (read in full...)
He is abusive and possessive, but he says I overreact--please help!
Q. I'm sorry this is so long but really feel the need to spill all. I have been living with my partner for 8 months. About one month after I moved in he started to become very jealous and possessive. He wanted me to stop seeing my single friends...
A. 8 July 2007: If you read your own question, it should be clear to you that this is trouble. Without even talking about the way yo physically abuse each other, his thoughts are not realistic or deserved. He's trying to control his insecurities by dominating ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend of two and a half years says she wants to take a year out of college to get a job and an apartment in the city so she can go on an alcohol, drug and sex fuelled year without me
Q. My girlfriend of two and a half years says she wants to take a year out of college to get a job and an apartment in the city so she can go on an alcohol, drug and sex fuelled year without me. ...And she expects me to be ok with it. It's truly ...
A. 8 July 2007: She doesn't sound like she wants a relationship. Let her do her thing. At least she told you before she started. Give her credit for that. Although she might be making a mistake, at least she was honest with you. ... (read in full...)
I get mad when she mentions that she is going out with her friends because I get the feeling that she shouldnt be having fun without me and i get jealous
Q. I have a problem I have been living in another country for 9 months and that is also how long I have been away from my girlfriend. We are trying to make this work and we are almost there but the problem is that I get mad when she mentions that she ...
A. 8 July 2007: You posted the same question a couple of days ago. What are you expecting to hear this time? Is there something you're searching for that we didn't already tell you. I fear you're losing the battle with your jealousy and should consider getting ... (read in full...)
Why do men still mastubrate when they have a very healthy sex life?
Q. I was wondering (my bf cant answer this) why do men still wa*k when they have a very healthy sex life? my bf still mastuerbates up to 3 times a week and we have an incredible sex life. i dont know whether to be insulted or flattered! please help! ...
A. 8 July 2007: The biggest thing to consider here is why do you really care? It's not about you. It's his time, penis and hand. If you're satisfied, what's the harm. Don't take it pesonally.... (read in full...)
I think I fell in love with an ex coworker and I want to leave my husband for him.
Q. I think I fell in love with an ex coworker and I want to leave my husband for him....
A. 8 July 2007: If you really want advice on this sort of thing, you must realize that we need more information. You've really said very little for anyone to be of any help.... (read in full...)
I think my husband may be attracted to his co-worker at his new job of 6 weeks.
Q. I think my husband may be attracted to his co-worker at his new job of 6 weeks. We've been married for 11 months but have been together as a couple for 10 years. I am now 7 months pregnant. They are one the phone everyday even after office hours. ...
A. 8 July 2007: It sounds as if your hormones are a little out of alignment. You need to get some support at this time of your life. You are also the one who knows your husband best. So if you notice he's a little more animated around this other woman, you might ... (read in full...)
All of my bf's friends are females -and- they are all people he's either hooked up with or had a crush on. He doesn't understand why it would bother me that he's hanging out with them. What do I do?
Q. All of my bf's friends are females -and- they are all people he's either hooked up with or had a crush on. He doesn't understand why it would bother me that he's hanging out with them. What do I do?...
A. 8 July 2007: It depends on how often he sees them and how friendly they are. I don't think it's a great idea because I truly don't believe it's THAT easy to separate the feelings once you've been attracted to someone. I just don't think it's a great idea.... (read in full...)
Over the course of 15 years my husband and I have argued quite a lot and I think he plays mind games.
Q. Hi - over the course of 15 years my husband and I have argued quite a lot and I think he plays mind games. On a handful of occasions these arguments have been physically abusive. I have also lashed out during these incidents but I have felt pushed ...
A. 8 July 2007: Nobody should be hitting, that's first. I won't take sides without more information. When you say you also lashed out, do you mean physically? If so, you're as much to blame as him. Whatever pushes us to that point is irrelevant, you shouldn't ... (read in full...)
I'm happily married but I've had this crush on a female co-worker for a long time.
Q. I'm happily married but I've had this crush on a female co-worker for a long time. How do I make it go away? ...
A. 8 July 2007: You don't have to make it go away because you're already happily married. You have to understand the mechanics of what it is....NOTHING....when compared to the LOVE of your wife. You MUST understand the big picture of what LOVE is. If you can't ... (read in full...)
How do I know if he has feelings for me or if he is just controlling?
Q. For the past 3 years I have worked with D. We both have partners,but unhappy. We are really close at work. I have told him my feelings of love. We went out once and felt guilty...since then we have tried to maintain a friendship and work ...
A. 8 July 2007: The ONLY way you can get this right is to get it into your head that this guy means harm to your marriage and you're too weak to fight. In order to do this, you need to respect your marriage to overcome your weakness. Instead of fighting for ... (read in full...)
How do I know if he has feelings for me or if he is just controlling?
Q. For the past 3 years I have worked with D. We both have partners,but unhappy. We are really close at work. I have told him my feelings of love. We went out once and felt guilty...since then we have tried to maintain a friendship and work ...
A. 8 July 2007: Emotional adultery is when you are spending time nurturing feelings for someone else, other than your partner. If it was a good thing, you'd tell your partner about how you really like this other guy and you went out with him once and you felt ... (read in full...)
He said that she was the main girl that he would fantasise about. This is really killing me!
Q. Hi My (now) ex and I met in 1st year uni, we were inseperable-platonic best friends. At the end of the year we slept together and moved in together and started a very loving relationship for 2 wonderful years. He was so amazing, always told me how m...
A. 7 July 2007: It sounds like this guy has been less than honest with you. Is it possible you'd be better off by taking the first step toward rebuilding your self esteem. Maybe he needs to go.... (read in full...)
How do I know if he has feelings for me or if he is just controlling?
Q. For the past 3 years I have worked with D. We both have partners,but unhappy. We are really close at work. I have told him my feelings of love. We went out once and felt guilty...since then we have tried to maintain a friendship and work ...
A. 7 July 2007: You're committing emotional adultery. It's plain and simple. He likes you, you like him,you both know it, you giggle and say silly things to each other, you went out and later felt guilty (if it' so innocent, why feelings of guilt), you're both ... (read in full...)
Can anyone please help me to stop being so controlling and trust her??
Q. Hi, my name is Andre I am currently in Portugal and my girlfriend is in Canada we have been away from each other for 9 months but I will be back in about 3 months. Anyways I really need help, I know that I am controlling I don't like it when she ...
A. 7 July 2007: I'm going to put my money where my mouth is. I suffered from this same issue and that's how I found this site. I'll tell you what I learned and how I got to this point. This may be a long reply but it encompasses your issue.
I was never co... (read in full...)
I am finding it hard to accept her love/trust her but I don't know why.
Q. Me and my girlfriend have been together for 3 months now and just recently both told each other that we love each other. I had said it first a couple of weeks before and knew she was not ready at the time but couldn't help it. I am finding it ha...
A. 7 July 2007: I have been in this situation before. You can not control other people and if you try, you'll create the situation you fear most. Before you can love her, in the true sense of the word, you have to love yourself. ... (read in full...)
I struggle between my values of having a monogomous relationship and my desire of not giving all of myself to just one person.
Q. I have been hurt in the past by my biggest love/relationship of 7 years, that all ended 2 years ago but since then it's hard for me to give my heart, and it lead me to be promiscuous I met a new great guy now that has managed to touch my heart, b...
A. 7 July 2007: If you're afraid of "your old ways" then it's your problem. If you build someone up in a nice way and then can't make up your mind about whether you intend to be faithful, do him a favor and move on. You could also look into why you have the fear ... (read in full...)
He said that she was the main girl that he would fantasise about. This is really killing me!
Q. Hi My (now) ex and I met in 1st year uni, we were inseperable-platonic best friends. At the end of the year we slept together and moved in together and started a very loving relationship for 2 wonderful years. He was so amazing, always told me how m...
A. 7 July 2007: First of all, if you feel really down about this, you need to get some help from somebody who is actually there for you. Not over the INTERNET. Nobody here really knows your state of mind and we're not professionals. Keep that in mind.
We al... (read in full...)
Should I break into his bank account????
Q. I broke up with my boyfriend five weeks ago. I'm just not speaking to him. After an argument I went to his place and left there the cell phone he was paying for me and other things and I have not spoken to him since. He always thinks he is right and ...
A. 7 July 2007: This plan sounds ridiculous. Would it work? It might. Is it worth? I'll ask you after you get convicted of the crime or crimes your contemplating.
Ask him nicely about the money. Putting your reputation omn the line is silly. Every once in ... (read in full...)
I don't want jealousy ruining the one thing I have wanted for 8 years! please someone help!
Q. I am 7 months pregnant, and I am in a lesbian relationship with a girl that I have been best friends with for 8 years. We met online, and have never met in person. She just got out of a 4 year relationship. I have very low self esteem and I am ...
A. 7 July 2007: What are you saying here? You said you've never met in person??????????? If you've never met i person, the relationship you have is really not a partnership. It's a pen pal. Don't get them confused. How can you sit around and worry about ... (read in full...)
He visited prostitutes and wants me to forget about it! I love him but don't respect him!
Q. I have just found out my h has been sleeping with prostitutes while I was pregnant. Bub now 8 weeks old. Says he wont do it again, doesn't want to destroy our family (also have 2 yo) but has never really apologized and is acting as if nothing has ...
A. 7 July 2007: What he did was terrible. If you say you still love him, I'd get some therapy for this issue, as a couple. You have to make peace with this and he needs to feel some remorse. Were yo giving him sex at home?
Men CAN have sex, merely for the sake... (read in full...)
How do I know if he has feelings for me or if he is just controlling?
Q. For the past 3 years I have worked with D. We both have partners,but unhappy. We are really close at work. I have told him my feelings of love. We went out once and felt guilty...since then we have tried to maintain a friendship and work ...
A. 4 July 2007: First of all, stop kidding yourself, he's not a friend. He's a guy you're sneaking around with and committing adultery. Friends help each other and enjoy doing things together, usually not naked or in a lustful manner.
First big mistake.... (read in full...)
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