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... Send *ddie a private message | | | *ddie's profile:Hi there. I go by Eddie. I'm from Canada. I have a great wife and two great kids, both teenagers. I've been with my wife for 21 years and we dated for two years before that.
I enjoy travel and learning new things. Different cultures interest me and what makes them tick. I think there is always a reason for the way certain cultures do things and many times we are too quick to judge things that we find odd.
The more places I go and the more people I meet, the more I see that we are so similar. Everybody is trying to enjoy life but we are all influenced along the way by the stuff that "happens". The trick is to learn from the lessons and carry on. I have a short fuse for infedility and take marriage very seriously. It's not from personal experiences either. I just don't understand why people don't seem to fix the problems in their marriages before they create more. I see lots of questions on this site pertaining to this topic, that's why I added this part. |
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| Latest articles: Why do people think the unattached person in a love triangle is a victim?
This question has 9 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 September 2007: Why is it that people get involved in love triangles and feel rejected when they don't work out? Why do so many agony aunts treat the third member of the triangle as a victim? I'm tired of hearing people reccommend.... "distance yourself from hi...
Fidelity and marriage
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 May 2007: Many times, we see questions asking for advice about marriage, monotony and fidelity. I tend to be cut and dry on this topic and often without compassion for the person struggling in this area. What bothers me most, is the ability of people to ...
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She's meeting me for lunch - does she actually like me or just think I'm a nice guy?
Q. Does she like me? Some people may have seen previous posts about me and a relationship break-up that has been really tough. I'm hoping for a bright new future and being a little out of practice on the dating side wondered if I could have a few ti...
A. 24 July 2007: I meant you were putting the cart before the horse as far as wondering what her intentions are. Think about that after the date. Of course there is some interest on her part, If there wasn't, she wouldn't go out. This only stands to reason, if ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend goes out with his buddies and dances with other women
Q. im always uneasy about my boyfriend going out with his guy friends and brother. they are all single and he is the only one with a girlfriend. i dont see why i cant come along when his guy friends are interested in going out to dance with and meet ...
A. 24 July 2007: If he's out with his friends and he's dancing with a group because it's part of the scene, it's one thing. If he's out hunting for women to dance with, it's another.
Innocent is when you're group meets some others and everybody is hanging ... (read in full...)
I love her very much but she has taken a sudden dislike to physical contact and I feel a bit rejected
Q. Hi all, can somebody please help with some objective advice... I'm going out of my mind! To cut a long story short, I'm in my late 30s, and have a fairly long distance relationship (100 miles) with my girlfriend. When we started out, it was brillian...
A. 24 July 2007: OK, that sounds strange. There MUST be a reason. In my opinion it indicates a change of heart on her part. You have to sit down and "demand" ( in a nice way ) an answer. If she agrees that it's not normal behavior for her, she should be ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend sometimes glances at pretty girls and it really bothers me
Q. My boyfiend isnt the type of man to buy newspapers with women in, or magazines ect. and is not a womaniser. However ive noticed in the supermarket for example that he glances over at attractive girls, he doesnt ogle but i see him look,maybe once. ...
A. 24 July 2007: What do you mean does he like them? How can he like them when he doesn't even know them? He likes you. Does he find them attractive? 100 per cent yes. And what is the problem with that?
Think of a man you find to be attractive, apart from you... (read in full...)
My girlfriend told me she's had many flings in the past; what is a fling exactly, as opposed to a serious relationship? I'm worried our relationship might turn into one now
Q. hi, this question might sound pretty basic but it's been bothering me for some time. When I asked my girlfriend (of 2 months) how many relationships she's been in prior to ours, she said that she's been in 2 serious relationships and had a whole lot ...
A. 24 July 2007: I agree with Danielepew.... (read in full...)
I love her very much but she has taken a sudden dislike to physical contact and I feel a bit rejected
Q. Hi all, can somebody please help with some objective advice... I'm going out of my mind! To cut a long story short, I'm in my late 30s, and have a fairly long distance relationship (100 miles) with my girlfriend. When we started out, it was brillian...
A. 24 July 2007: What you're experiencing is very common and frustrating for the person who wants more sex. Usually it's the man chasing the woman. (usually)
Is it possible the amount of sex you were having in the beginning was unusually high and now a normal a... (read in full...)
She's meeting me for lunch - does she actually like me or just think I'm a nice guy?
Q. Does she like me? Some people may have seen previous posts about me and a relationship break-up that has been really tough. I'm hoping for a bright new future and being a little out of practice on the dating side wondered if I could have a few ti...
A. 24 July 2007: It sounds to me with all the silly, light hearted texting that she's interested. Why would you worry about what her goals are when you haven't even gone out yet? Youre putting the cart before the horse. You met her, you liked her, you played the ... (read in full...)
He's not Ok with me going out with a male friend but isn't it a bigger deal for me that he has an ex wife and a daughter? Am I being paranoid?
Q. I’ve been dating my boyfriend for almost 2 years. He has a daughter with his ex-wife. For some reason, I get really jealous whenever he mentions things like: Oh, she use to not let me cook. It was just a general statement but I just get paranoid ...
A. 23 July 2007: You're comparing apples to oranges. How can he possibly not mention the woman? They SHARE A CHILD !! Would you prefer he calls her "madame x" or the "shadow". Everybody has baggage. If you can't accept it, it's your issue, unless he's ... (read in full...)
What's the problem?
Q. I had a baby 3 months ago. I just found out I am pregnant again. I am happy because I wanted my daughter to have a sibling close in age to play with etc. I feel that it will make her happier, I also really love being a mom. I am not married to t...
A. 23 July 2007: Just be strong and tell him your needs. If he respects you as a woman and the mother of his children, he'll want to make you happy. If he doesn't, stop making kids with him What ever you choose, speak your mind. ... (read in full...)
He's not Ok with me going out with a male friend but isn't it a bigger deal for me that he has an ex wife and a daughter? Am I being paranoid?
Q. I’ve been dating my boyfriend for almost 2 years. He has a daughter with his ex-wife. For some reason, I get really jealous whenever he mentions things like: Oh, she use to not let me cook. It was just a general statement but I just get paranoid ...
A. 23 July 2007: I don't understand your dilemma. They are totally different. He has an ex wife and a child. Since he is a father he has obligations and needs surrounding his daughter. He's obligated to care for her and he desires or needs to have a father ... (read in full...)
What's the problem?
Q. I had a baby 3 months ago. I just found out I am pregnant again. I am happy because I wanted my daughter to have a sibling close in age to play with etc. I feel that it will make her happier, I also really love being a mom. I am not married to t...
A. 23 July 2007: I'd like to add one more thing. Shan14 stated that she doesn't see anything wrong with having kids out of wedlock. Being married is not everything. Being under the same roof is. Of course we will survive without two parents in the house. WE can ... (read in full...)
What's the problem?
Q. I had a baby 3 months ago. I just found out I am pregnant again. I am happy because I wanted my daughter to have a sibling close in age to play with etc. I feel that it will make her happier, I also really love being a mom. I am not married to t...
A. 23 July 2007: It seems you're in a sticky situation. You say you have pride. If you have pride, then you need to use it to do the right thing. Your pride should be asking you why you became pregnant with a guy who's not totally there for you. Pride should ... (read in full...)
What's the problem?
Q. I had a baby 3 months ago. I just found out I am pregnant again. I am happy because I wanted my daughter to have a sibling close in age to play with etc. I feel that it will make her happier, I also really love being a mom. I am not married to t...
A. 23 July 2007: It seems you're in a sticky situation. You say you have pride. If you have pride, then you need to use it to do the right thing. Your pride should be asking you why you became pregnant with a guy who's not totally there for you. Pride should ... (read in full...)
I found condoms in his travel bag and although he assures me he wouldn't cheat, I can't stop thinking about it
Q. my boyfriend of 4 months has gone on a business trip for 5 days and i bought him a going away present and card to read on the plane, but when i opened the front zip on his suitcase to put them in i found a handful of condoms scattered in the bottom ...
A. 23 July 2007: You know.....hmmmmm...just a question,....don't you think your original post was a little light on details? ... (read in full...)
I wouldn't let up and we slept together; she is guilt ridden because she has a boyfriend. How can I make her all mine?
Q. Hi, this is a toughie for me but cannot work this one out. Met a girl over the phone at work, really hit it off, flirted via e-mail but ove the months could not even get her number although the flirting continued both ways i pursued and would not ...
A. 23 July 2007: You're unpredictable, wild, compulsive and...you forgot a couple...selfish and disgraceful...................... "I didn't want to disrupt her life but life ain't that simple."...Yes it is when you have integrity. At this point you're only ... (read in full...)
I caught my partner having sex with my sister-in-law; can I ever put it behind me?
Q. i caught my partner having sex with my brothers wife! he said it was a mistake and begged me to forgive him. A year has passed, we have moved from the UK to NZ to start again, we are happy but i still have this image of them both and just dont ...
A. 23 July 2007: You can't run from the truth. You need to seek therapy as a couple if you hope to resolve this issue. You can not out run your mind.... (read in full...)
What's the problem?
Q. I had a baby 3 months ago. I just found out I am pregnant again. I am happy because I wanted my daughter to have a sibling close in age to play with etc. I feel that it will make her happier, I also really love being a mom. I am not married to t...
A. 23 July 2007: Your own words are...."I want to be married and I get really upset and cry about the fact that I am a single mom and that he doesn't seem to want to marry me, or he just doesn't care." Those were your words. So I'm sure your family is aware of ... (read in full...)
I found condoms in his travel bag and although he assures me he wouldn't cheat, I can't stop thinking about it
Q. my boyfriend of 4 months has gone on a business trip for 5 days and i bought him a going away present and card to read on the plane, but when i opened the front zip on his suitcase to put them in i found a handful of condoms scattered in the bottom ...
A. 22 July 2007: You've already painted a picture in your head of all the worse scenarios and chose to believe them. He doesn't stand a chance. You also said "he never once asked how I am".....don't try to minimize the fact he called. His call was, in itself, ... (read in full...)
SITE NEWS: Moderators needed!
Q. Hi, with the site getting busier all the time I'm looking for new volunteer moderators... PLEASE READ THIS CAREFULLY BEFORE RESPONDING -- many moderators drop out after just a couple of weeks so if you're not committed please don't apply! ...
A. 21 July 2007: Hi Andrew. I don't know what's involved with the approval process but I'd be interested in learning more. Although I live off in one of the colonies, Canada, I've been able to develop a strong grasp of the Queen's English.......kidding of course. ... (read in full...)
My married lover of 18 years doesn't want me anymore but I can't let go
Q. Hi I have been seeing a married man for 18 years. I love him and he said he loves me. Then one day he said he does not want the affair anymore. I am in shock and broken hearted. I can't seem to let go. Please help me. ...
A. 21 July 2007: You don't want to hear what I have to say. The only person who should be in shock here is his wife and kids. Don't expect sympathy from me. You've been breaking a moral law of the jungle for 18 years. When it finally ends, it's supposed to be a ... (read in full...)
My dad says I'm lazy and he refuses to buy me anything
Q. Help my dad won't speak to me. He is very mad at me for not helping him with his office work. Now he won't buy me anything. He says that I am very lazy. Not even new clothes to wear to school. What should I do?...
A. 21 July 2007: Did he ask you for help? If he asked you for help and you said no, why are you surprised he won't give you money? What are the details here?... (read in full...)
I found condoms in his travel bag and although he assures me he wouldn't cheat, I can't stop thinking about it
Q. my boyfriend of 4 months has gone on a business trip for 5 days and i bought him a going away present and card to read on the plane, but when i opened the front zip on his suitcase to put them in i found a handful of condoms scattered in the bottom ...
A. 21 July 2007: This is a situation where you can prove nothing. He could buy condoms anywhere, true. He could also have thrown some in his bag, not expecting you to look. Either way makes sense.
If there was nothing else in that part of the bag, at all, the... (read in full...)
How do you know when it's time for a relationship to end?
Q. how do you know when your relationship should be ended?...
A. 21 July 2007: This question is too vague. There are a million reasons that are different for each case. Give some more information.... (read in full...)
I'm a Christian and believe in waiting to have sex; I've already had it, however but now I want to wait to have it again until we're married. My boyfriend isn't happy
Q. I am a Christian and believe in waiting until marriage before having sex. The problem is I have already had sex with my fiance, and previous boyfriends. I still want to wait, but my fiance argues that if I stopped doing it now after doing it for ...
A. 21 July 2007: When did you decide to get the Christian values? How old are you? If you always felt you were doing something wrong, by having sex, then stop. That is your choice and you can take it away.
Unfortunately that choice affects your boyfrien... (read in full...)
My husband and I do love each other but we feel resentment towards each other over unresolved baggage from the past
Q. I have been married for more than 10 years. It has been wonderful and exciting and I love my partner with all of my heart. The problem is that over time we have built up a lot of relationship baggage, that has made us both resentful towards each ...
A. 21 July 2007: You haven't said what the baggage was. That is important here. Some things are never put in the past.... (read in full...)
My online romance doesn't love her husband but I feel like I don't compare
Q. I am 21, living with my parents, working full-time, and a college student. I only have a few friends to start off because I enjoy being alone most of the time. I love spending time online. Because of that, I met this girl from another state, she's ...
A. 21 July 2007: Not only are you broke, you're joining in adultery. Don't try to justify you adulteress's poor choices (and yours) by tearing down the husband. Unless he's a horrible person, and so far all the information indicates he's not the rotten one, you ... (read in full...)
Is sharing a kiss with another guy and liking him really telling me my current relationship isnt working? Any views?
Q. I shared a drunken kiss with my boyfriends work colleague. We both have partners although he hasnt been with his long, we have txt each other and agree we both find each other physically attractive and enjoy each others company. We are both in ...
A. 20 July 2007: The feelings are fine. The actions are dirty, rotten choices that will eventually hurt two other people. It's terrible behavior. What will you do if you leave your boyfriend for this guy and then have the feelings for another guy? Leave him? ... (read in full...)
I have just found out that my husband has been using chat rooms and talking really dirty...
Q. I have been married for 21 years, but I have just found out that my husband has been using chat rooms and talking really dirty, I think this is called cybersex, I feel like he is being unfaithful and I dont know what to do about it, he doesn't know ...
A. 20 July 2007: I disagree with you about satisfying your husbands sexual needs. Or, at least hearing what they are. You said you're in a "mutual relationship". That was my point, you should try to fulfill each others needs, within reason. If you're not going ... (read in full...)
He is texting other girls and complimenting them. I dont THINK I have anything to worry about, but why is he doing this?
Q. Ive got 2 questions Ive been with my boyfriend 2 1/2 years who works in a hospital,where there are lots of female workers.He says he wants to make new friends, I know he chats to these women at work,which is harmless,because I know he loves me.Howev...
A. 20 July 2007: This is very interesting. First, relationships are a game, like life in general. The rules get blurry very easily. There are many things we do or say when single that are fine but become sketchy when we're in a relationship. Compliments are one ... (read in full...)
I have just found out that my husband has been using chat rooms and talking really dirty...
Q. I have been married for 21 years, but I have just found out that my husband has been using chat rooms and talking really dirty, I think this is called cybersex, I feel like he is being unfaithful and I dont know what to do about it, he doesn't know ...
A. 20 July 2007: I do believe it's being unfaithful. Even though the other person is just fingers and a key board it takes time away from you two as a couple.
Have you kept up your interest in your sex life? Are you satisfying your husbands sexual needs? ... (read in full...)
I have moved area to live and find I have got very strong feelings for someone and feel strange and excited!
Q. Hi, I am seperated for 4 years and now divorced for 2 years. I have moved area to live and find I have got very strong feelings for someone (which I never thought I would have after my husband) . I feel strange and excited .... not sure ...
A. 20 July 2007: If he is a SINGLE PERSON, you proceed with caution. You're in an enthusiastic mental state so you don't want to be quick to make your move. Eventually, drop some hints you're interested. He'll probably be flattered. See how he reacts and decide ... (read in full...)
My husbands friend seems to really like me
Q. Hi, i am moving country in a few months with my husband. Well my husband and I have broke up a few months ago, said he was confused,but since then we have got back together, all is going ok so far. However we are moving country and the problem is ...
A. 19 July 2007: You're in control of the situation. Anything that happens will be becasue you chose to let it happen. So it you can trust yourself, you're in no trouble.... (read in full...)
Should I have sex with both men to double my chances of conceiving?
Q. Hi, I am a single female, 39 years old, and I am dating a new guy. I am anxious to have a child right away, and have shared this with my partner,. he is ok "if it happens", but it not interested in working as a team to test my ovulation and ha...
A. 19 July 2007: What do you mean working as a team? You're the woman, you know your body. When it's the right moment, have sex with your boyfriend. It's a shame you're so willing to treat this event with such a carefree attitude. It sounds like you're willing ... (read in full...)
Lately I have been thinking a lot about someone that I should not be thinking of at all as I'm married.
Q. Lately I have been thinking a lot about someone that I should not be thinking of at all. There are two probelms. First off, I am married and he has a significant other and a child. And second, I am not even sure how he feels about me. He w...
A. 18 July 2007: One more thing. Being attracted to him is fine and normal. Carrying on though like you are though is devious and a choice. You're on the slippery slope....... (read in full...)
Lately I have been thinking a lot about someone that I should not be thinking of at all as I'm married.
Q. Lately I have been thinking a lot about someone that I should not be thinking of at all. There are two probelms. First off, I am married and he has a significant other and a child. And second, I am not even sure how he feels about me. He w...
A. 18 July 2007: You're making a huge mistake. If you ask him, you're actually saying that all the letter writing you did over the years was an emotional affair. You're playing with fire and looking to have him validate some primal urge you're feeling. You know ... (read in full...)
How can I make my vagina dry so that my husband wont want to have sex with me?
Q. I've been married for 16 1/2 years. We've had great sex,but lately I'm not interested in having it with him.He's very controlling in the bedroom he wants it every night.And the problem I have is my vagina is very wet at night and he loves it.Ho...
A. 18 July 2007: Do you really think avoiding sex is going to solve your problem? You need to communicate with your husband. Figure out how you can get in the mood and how often. I'd have to say he deserves to have sex more than you deserve to withhold it from ... (read in full...)
I got really wet, and now my boyfriend thinks I cheated on him. What could have caused this amount wetness?
Q. What would cause me to be wetter during sex than i have been before? My boyfriend and i had sex last night. I left for an hour and came home and we had sex again and he got real mad and said that i was not right down there because i have never ...
A. 18 July 2007: Step back and think about this. For him to insinuate that you cheated because your vagina was more wet than usual is strange. Can yo imagine telling him that his penis is harder than usual and he must be excited from something else. People should ... (read in full...)
I don't think I love my girlfriend any more... Meanwhile another girl has come on the scene!
Q. I (mid thirties) have been living with my girlfriend for the past 4 years, I don't think I love her anymore and I don't find her attractive. I was recently introduced to a girl at a party and can think of nothing but her at the moment. I have been ...
A. 18 July 2007: You've entered into dangerous territory. Since your relationship was getting stale, this new person sticks out in your mind. What do you mean when you say you don't find your girlfriend attractive? What changed, her or your eyes?
This is a piv... (read in full...)
How do I have phone sex?
Q. How do I 'make love' to my girlfriend on the telphone? We have kissed each other this way. Has any other boyfriend done this with their long distance girlfriend?...
A. 17 July 2007: In order to make love on the telephone, the most important thing is balance. I stand on one foot, placing it directly on the receiver. My wife then straddles my hips. Try using a cordless phone. This way you won't get tangled up. Occasionally ... (read in full...)
He wakes me up for unsatisfying sex - how do I approach him without him getting offended?
Q. My boyfriend wakes me up in the middle of the night to have sex. He pokes me so I can wake up. He does not perform foreplay ever, and I have to get him aroused. Then I must get on top and do all the work, always. I'm really tired of this. He doesn't ...
A. 17 July 2007: It sounds to me like he has bit of an issue. 99% of the people in the world, who are past the stage of infatuation in a relationship, would not be impressed if they were woken up to perform sex. It's not too cute after a while. It would seem to ... (read in full...)
I feel like he's cheating on me, fantasising about having sex with another woman... is this normal????
Q. My husband looks at porn when I am gone... he knows how much this bothered me because of the first time I found porn on the comp and then just recently he downloaded a CD to have virtual sex with some porn star and the a personal plaything for ...
A. 17 July 2007: Again, I disagree. You dismiss any chance that men may also have issues. In your eyes, men equal bad, women equal good. I'm sorry but it sounds like you have an axe to grind.
Let me ask you a question. If it's true that most men, who are ... (read in full...)
I love her but I worry about her and her guy friend! How do I cope with this?
Q. Hello. I have been going out with my girlfriend for over 2 years now. We moved in together this past January and things are going well. The thing is I am insecure about the fact that she gets along better with guys and therefore has many guy fri...
A. 17 July 2007: You have to reinforce your love for her and leave it alone !! As much as it scares you, you must do this. By doing this, you're doing what a supportive mate is supposed to do. WE encourage our mates to enjoy life within the reasonable boundaries ... (read in full...)
I feel like he's cheating on me, fantasising about having sex with another woman... is this normal????
Q. My husband looks at porn when I am gone... he knows how much this bothered me because of the first time I found porn on the comp and then just recently he downloaded a CD to have virtual sex with some porn star and the a personal plaything for ...
A. 16 July 2007: First of all, I'm not talking about kids. Get that straight. That is wrong, morally and legally already. My answers are reasonable and you have no idea who actually considers them. It's obvious from your post that your mind was closed before any ... (read in full...)
I feel like he's cheating on me, fantasising about having sex with another woman... is this normal????
Q. My husband looks at porn when I am gone... he knows how much this bothered me because of the first time I found porn on the comp and then just recently he downloaded a CD to have virtual sex with some porn star and the a personal plaything for ...
A. 15 July 2007: I can understand that you're not thrilled at the extent he's gone to. The fact he does this does not indicate anything about his "love", generally speaking for you. Since it really bothers you, when taken to this extreme, it is a relationship ... (read in full...)
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