A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i met this girl at a job that i had and we became cool. i also met a guy there who became my boyfriend. One day me and my boyfriend went out and he said that she was going to open up her own business and gave her number to him. She never mentioned anything to me about the business and she knew that we were talking at the time. When i questioned her she pretty much said nothing and still has not opened up this so called business. Mind you we worked around mental health clients and she lifted up her shirt half way while me her and my boyfriend were at work. Also she always says i think your boyfriend does not like me and she also tends to wear skimpy clothes when she knows she may see him. How can i know for sure that i should leave her alone without having to confront her because obviously she is not going to say much and he always says hi to her whenever i call her? Should i be suspicious?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2007): I was in a similar situation, and there is only one way to deal with this situation at this stage:
1/ keep them as far from each as is humanly possible (but don't become obsessed with this).
2/ establish some principles between you and your husband about what breaks trust and loyalty in your relationships.
Establish what your limits are in dealing with others.
3/ Keep reminding each other about what these established limitations are throughout the relationship, and when things change, then it is time to quit this relationship because once it becomes poisoned despite the warnings then you're now dealing in different arena of mistrust.
4/ Not turn the girl into your ennemy, nor make her your best friend, if you make her your ennemy she might begin to do things just to spite you and if you make her your best friend you're likely to bring her into your life and give her more opportunity to see/talk to your bf.
If anyone else has advise on how to stop the bf from thinking about the girl then please share it with the rest of us.
Now this last piece of advise will require that you actually believe in God, and to me, this is the best thing you can do by far: I would ask God to protect the relationship if I were you and maybe begin suggesting marriage to your bf if he is the sort of guy that you trust and you love each other.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2007): Do you trust him enough to leave him around her? Does he show any interests towards her?
If I were you, my answer is NO!! If you feel the way you feel, then don't leave her around your boyfriend.
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A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (3 June 2007):
 There will always be peole around who like your guy. How are you going to monitir this? You can't. You have to make sure he is trustworthy. Don't be silly about it either. If she gets out of line, tell him she's disrespectig your relationship. Otherwise it's him you need to trust.
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A
male
reader, eddie +, writes (3 June 2007):
There will always be peole around who like your guy. How are you going to monitir this? You can't. You have to make sure he is trustworthy. Don't be silly about it either. If she gets out of line, tell him she's disrespectig your relationship. Otherwise it's him you need to trust.
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A
female
reader, candy00s  +, writes (3 June 2007):
 I think this girl fancies your boyfriend and no i dont think you can trust her.
The thing you need to ask yourself is can you trust your boyfriend to be alone with her? You definately cant trust her.
Talk to your boyfriend and tell him that you think she likes him, see what he thinks of her and then you will know whether you need to keep her away from him.
xxx
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A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (2 June 2007):
 I don't think you are asking the right question...it is not really should you trust her alone with your boyfriend, but rather can you trust your boyfriend to be alone with her? After all it takes two people to behave badly. It sounds like she is a bit of an attention seeker by saying she is starting a business and lifting her top up. She maybe just insecure deep down and feels this is the only way to command attention from people. Feel sorry for her but don't perceive her as a threat as long as you trust your man then what could be the problem?
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (2 June 2007):
 How long have you and your boyfriend been seeing one another? Do you trust him? She fancies your boyfriend, that's pretty obvious. Mention to him that you think she fancies him and see what he says. Also mention to him that your relationship with him is built on trust and you trust him on this one, then add... "I could never continue seeing a guy who 2-timed me!" At least that way you're giving him boundaries without actually accusing him or doubting him.
Who knows, he might never go near her with a 10 foot barge pole! Ask him what he thinks of her and you'll soon find out.
Eve
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2007): I think you should trust your own judgment, it sounds like she might like him and it is fair enough to confront her but you shouldn't accuse her.
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