A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Me and my girlfriend had a huge argument and she hit me. I dont mean like a slap a full on attack. I dont know what to do i really love her, im walking round with bruises all over my body. This isnt the first time she has lashed out at me what am i doing so wrong? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, the1andonly  +, writes (2 April 2009):
i know how you feel, tonight i got into a fight with my girlfriend... @ the bar (great place to start things up) her boss said he thought "she had enough" since she had to work tomorrow... well later when we got home i agreed with his statement, that didnt go too well... it escalated into her throwing some things around, breaking a glass door and she ended up grabbing me by the throat and when i pushed her off of me her ring caught my neck causing a deep cut thats like 6 inches across which bled a little.. im so hurt by her actions, she pushed me like 6 times, even over a chair when i was sitting down, she said i was out of line implying "she was drunk"... im not sure what to do...can anyone help me...? i was brought up not to strike a woman, ever...does this make me a weak person?? i hate guys who hit their g/f's...
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2008): Hi There,
i understand how you feel, abuse can come in many form.
my partner used to mentally abuses me with comments about my weight, im only 10 stone, and the clothes i wear and my family.
After actually leaving him did he then go and seek professional help and now he is completly different person. he has worked very hard to become a better person.
if she loves you she will do what it takes to stop hurting you, if she laughs it off then you know she never cared at all.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2008): So when she hits me and the most I do is squeeze her arms tightly hoping that she will stop and calm down ( which never happens ) and threatens to call cops on me when she hits me first and the most I do is hold her there and squeeze tight telling her constantly to stop fighting with me....you guys are basically saying she would be at fault because she started it first or you saying that no one could get in trouble here because she is performing her own act of violence also? Just want to stay trouble free out of this that's all...
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2008): Hey buddy,
I can't believe that there are guys who let girls hit them, just hold them still until they quiet down if they start to get abusive then break up with them and never talk to them again, just like abused girls should do to their bfs. And you should probably let them know that if they hit you again you will fsck their day up: all that stuff about not hitting girls only applies when they aren't hitting you first, then they are just like everyone else and you can defend yourself as appropriate. After all, women are equal with men.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2007): Hey man,
Maybe she isn't good at showing her feelings. Is she very independent? If she's bottling things up, the tendency would be for her anger to be taken out on those closest to her.
Talk to her and try to see if there is anything bothering her. Tell her that she has hurt you and that you see her differently because of it, but also tell her you love her and want to help her.
Everyone lashes out when life gets too stressful, I know from experience with my girlfriend once. Talking to her really helped, and we're really happy together.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2007): Hi mate...
My girlfriend has hit me when drunk and even started swinging a metal tube aggressively at me. I had to ring the cops, and the lady on the end of the phone calmed the situation but she said so many helpful things. I would recomend talking to someone confidentially as they will likely see it from a very different and logical point of view thinking of you're welfare.
Stay safe
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2007): I know how this goes. When my girlfriend and I get into fights, often times it escalates into her screaming at me, calling me some sort of hurtful name, and then either motioning like she's going to hit me, or actually physically hit me.
Im not sure what the right thing to do here is, because im still in the relationship. But just know that you're not the only one.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2007): I fully understand.
My wife has always hit me when get into it hardcore :(
Although when she does it it's always because I've done something stupid. I mean i went to the strippers and lied about it. and that got me a couple black eyes.
anyways man, your not alone
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2007): She's an abusive person.
LEAVE HER. She needs professional help and she's committing a crime when she hits you. You can't say or do anything to ever make her stop on her own.
And if the legal system discovers that you put so much as a mark on her while defending yourself, then YOU will be the one who goes to jail, not her. The law is not fair about this issue whatsoever, so YOU need to protect yourself and not put yourself in a position to get burned by this.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2007): yo whats happenin? just bin her, nobody should ever hit you, its assault anyway. People always think it will never happen again but it could just be the beggining. Move on and move out.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2007): I know what you mean, my girlfriend kick or elbows or headbutts me in the nose at pretty much every avilable opportunity and she pretends she doesnt mean to do it, but after many, many nose bleeds I am less and less inclined to believe her...
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A
female
reader, candy00s +, writes (1 June 2007):
 This is domestic violence, you should walk away and leave her.
Unless she is prepared to get professional help and sort out her problems with violence. she needs to learn how to sort her problems out with her violent behaviour.
Dont put up with this.
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A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (1 June 2007):
 You are doing nothing wrong and shouldn't even think like that as you are the victim of the domestic violence here. It is far too often assumed that the woman would be the victim but as you know, this is not always true. It is a real sign of disrespect and her lack of ability to verbally communicate anger. You should not accept it and even if it is a 'one off' incident then she needs to face up to what she has done. Technically it is a criminal offence to assault someone after all. She may come from a family where physical fights happened between her own relatives but that is no excuse - to use such force to cause bruising on you means that she needs professional help and you should really question your involvement in such a relationship. If you forgive her unconditionally (without demanding she gets anger management help) means that you send a message that her behaviour was ok and accepted.
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A
female
reader, bubbloo24  +, writes (1 June 2007):
 I suggest that you say "you sort out your anger issues or I'm leaving you" because she won't realise how much it's affecting you if you just brush it off everytime she does it.
After you've said this and if she hits you again, it's time to leave. She needs to sort out her anger management.
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A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (1 June 2007):
 You're in an abusive relationship. She should be reported to the authorities and arrestd. Nobody should be abused. Some people try to control others by these means but it's not appropriate.
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A
male
reader, DV1  +, writes (1 June 2007):
 My friend's girlfriend is like that- she doesn't get upset, she gets violent, and she hurts people. My best friend walks around with bruises and cuts all over his body, and his girlfriend laughs it off.
If you're walking around with bruises all over your body, that's your answer. She went way too far, and it's time to walk away. You haven't done anything wrong, my friend, except for stick around and take it.
DV1
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2007): There is nothing wrong with you! She is an abuser, and not worth sticking around for. If she loved you or had any kind feelings toward you at all she would not strike you! Again you are not doing any thing wrong, she is. Abusive partners tend to escalate over time. Please leave this relationship before it gets worse. Try to get some help from a professional therapist and look into pressing charges. Take care.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2007): Someone who loves you doesn't but bruises all over your body. It is as bad as a guy hitting a girl - domestic violence can go both ways and shouldn't be tolerated.
No one ever deserves to be hit. There is nothing you have done to warrent what she did. If she lashes out in violence and is going to make a habit of it then...
Love isn't violence.
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female
reader, love-him +, writes (1 June 2007):
 hia babe, leav her .. shes got an anger problem.. say she either goes 2 get it sorted or u cant deal with it. hope i helped, mail me if u wona talk x x x
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