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... Send *ddie a private message | | | *ddie's profile:Hi there. I go by Eddie. I'm from Canada. I have a great wife and two great kids, both teenagers. I've been with my wife for 21 years and we dated for two years before that.
I enjoy travel and learning new things. Different cultures interest me and what makes them tick. I think there is always a reason for the way certain cultures do things and many times we are too quick to judge things that we find odd.
The more places I go and the more people I meet, the more I see that we are so similar. Everybody is trying to enjoy life but we are all influenced along the way by the stuff that "happens". The trick is to learn from the lessons and carry on. I have a short fuse for infedility and take marriage very seriously. It's not from personal experiences either. I just don't understand why people don't seem to fix the problems in their marriages before they create more. I see lots of questions on this site pertaining to this topic, that's why I added this part. |
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| Latest articles: Why do people think the unattached person in a love triangle is a victim?
This question has 9 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 September 2007: Why is it that people get involved in love triangles and feel rejected when they don't work out? Why do so many agony aunts treat the third member of the triangle as a victim? I'm tired of hearing people reccommend.... "distance yourself from hi...
Fidelity and marriage
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 May 2007: Many times, we see questions asking for advice about marriage, monotony and fidelity. I tend to be cut and dry on this topic and often without compassion for the person struggling in this area. What bothers me most, is the ability of people to ...
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He's okay to go out without me, but when I do the same hes gets offended! Is this just a phase ?
Q. I'm 19 and my boyfriend just turned 21 last month and he goes to the bar all the time and of course i can't go... plus he stays out all night sometimes and it drives me crazy. And if that isn't bad enough when i want to hang out with my friends all ...
A. 2 April 2007: You should fix it or find another place to live. He's controlling you and he's insecure. Unless you've given him reason to worry, it's not fair. Why should you pay the price for something you haven't done. He feels by controlling you, he can ... (read in full...)
Is she being fair by breaking up with me because I cheated 2 yrs ago!?
Q. I have been dating a girl for a little over two years, she is my first real realationship and also my first love. Through out the relationship we have had problems with our communication, but more than ever lately we have been struggeling lately. ...
A. 2 April 2007: If your girlfriend told you that two years ago, after you started your relationship, she went out one night and ended up performing oral sex on a guy, would you be OK with that? It's been two years afterall......... (read in full...)
My family dont like my boyfriend and hes been excluded from a wedding invite. Should I go to the wedding ?
Q. I have quite a close family and my cousin is getting married soon, I was invited to the wedding but my partner of 3 years was not, my family do not like him. Should I go to the wedding?...
A. 2 April 2007: Unless your boyfriend has done some really stupid things or is a complete jerk, no, you should not go. ... (read in full...)
His ex is making things so difficult for us, moving the kids, not allowing me to be anywhere near them etc.... Would I be stupid marrying him!?
Q. my soon to be husband's ex wife is driving me crazy. let me start by saying that we started by just being friends do to the fact that he was married. he would talk to be about there problems and that was all it was, was a friendship, one day he ...
A. 2 April 2007: You paint a really rotten picture of his ex. Here's the BUT. Do you think it was a good idea for him to be talking to you about their problems? That is how this type of thing starts. Your relationship was born out of his emotional infidelity to ... (read in full...)
I made the mistake of staying in contact with a female friend and didnt tell my GF, shes hurt I lied and ended it! How do I get the trust back!?
Q. I met my girlfriend online and we've been together for about 3 months. When we first started going into an intimate relationship, sometimes I still hung out with another girl that I met online. I was not attracted to this other girl romantically but ...
A. 2 April 2007: This is the price you pay for your behaviour. You lied and now you have to suffer for a while. Let it be a lesson to you. The ball is in in her court and the least you can do is RESPECT what she's told you and stop pushing. Let her know how you ... (read in full...)
Is an orgasm THAT important???
Q. Is it a big thing for a girl to get her first proper orgasm????...
A. 30 March 2007: I think it's as important for a female to orgasm but not always. I believe that many females can enjoy the closeness of intercourse or being together in some sexual way without actually reaching orgasm. The closeness is sometimes good enough for a ... (read in full...)
I miscarried a while ago, then fell pregnant with twins, one miscarried, and the second wouldnt have made it, me and my husband are in so much pain, please help!!
Q. Hey its been a while but I need your help again please Agony aunts. About a year ago I got pregnant and didn't know what to do as I already had 2 small children, I decided to carry on with the pregnancy but at 12 weeks I miscarried having to ...
A. 30 March 2007: All I can tell you is this, you made the correct choice. You already had two children to raise and the risk of losing their mother was too great. If you think you are depressed now, imagine the situation if you had also died. You made a difficult ... (read in full...)
Do you think I could chang my wifes mindset about sex ?
Q. My wife and I have different attitudes towards sex.... I would do it all the time, when I do it I think of it and when I don't... I think of it even more. She is more settled. We go along together, anyway. Sometimes we quarrel a bit for this, bu...
A. 26 March 2007: It's common my friend. My wife and I are at different ends of the scale too. Actually we're not so far apart as physically as we are mentally.
My example is this. I've told my wife, I'd be happy with less if when we did it, I had the impressi... (read in full...)
Im really confused, I snogged a guy while my man was away and now dont know what to do!!?
Q. please dont judge me! ive done nothing but cry the last 2 days i feel so awful and very confused! my fella of a yr works away alot he just gone away in december to the new york he comes back in may in so excited to see him but so confused! iv...
A. 26 March 2007: You allowed yourself to fall into this trap because you were enjoying the attention. You might not have been thinking about kissing either. You were way over the line though. We don't do sleepovers when we're involved with someone else.
I can... (read in full...)
I cheated and the guilt is killing me!!
Q. I cheated and the guilt is killing me. I was away on business, my fiancee and young baby at home. Me and my ex met up for a drink, literally to say hello and see how eachother was getting on. We had a few too many, and as i hadn't yet booked a hot...
A. 26 March 2007: This is a tough one. You sound sorry for what you've done. That does not minimize it at all, just lets us know your frame of mind. You don't seem to need to be told how it happened, weakness and letting your guard down thinking you're above it ... (read in full...)
I cant imagine life without either of them!!
Q. I have been very happily married to my husband for 10 years but I also have feelings for my 6 years younger brother in law. My husband has two brothers and I get on very well with them both but I have developed strong feelings over a period of time ...
A. 26 March 2007: You cared enough to reply with thanks. That's a good sign. You will and should feel guilt. We're wired that way to let us know when we're doing wrong. Many people choose to ignore the signals. You wil have to lern to live with htis guilt. AS I ... (read in full...)
I have this attitude that marriage is war! Why do I feel this way?
Q. Why do i feel before getting married that i am going to enter a war and that i have to be prepared with weapons of arguments i can use against the person i will be getting married to. This will ensure that i establish a supremacy over her for her ...
A. 24 March 2007: Did you post the other question about universal truth. I think so. If you did , lighten up. You're not always right.... (read in full...)
If I believe in something strongly, do I have the right to force it onto others?
Q. If i believe about something very strongly, do i have to force it on to other for it to get really justified as a universal truth? Does it become universal truth if one or two people agree with it or join hands with me in respect to the belief?...
A. 24 March 2007: Nothing is universal truth and you have no right to force things on anybody. People don't like to have things forced on them. Look at the powerful countries of the world forcing their beliefs on other countries, how's that working?... (read in full...)
Tell me-what do english men think of Asian women in general?
Q. Hi guys, just wanted to know what do English men think of Asian women in general. Do they ever fancy them or do they think of them as unlikely conquest. Thanks any replies would be appreciated. ...
A. 24 March 2007: This question can not be answered. Everybody is different and has there own preferences. What do Turks think of sandals? What do Germans think of toast? See what I mean?... (read in full...)
Is it cheating when your bf goes to strip clubs and likes lap dancing?
Q. my b/f does not think strip clubs or lap dances are cheating..i have been with him for about 2 years and i dont think he has been to one since i have been with him..maybe he went one night but i dont know for sure..he says maybe its wrong to do ...
A. 24 March 2007: If he hasn't gone and isn't planning to go, what's the problem? IT is actually cheating though, at least where I live. I live near Niagara Falls, Canada. This area has some of the fanciest strip clubs around. And let me tell you, as someone who ... (read in full...)
Is what she is doing ok??
Q. I have been with my girlfriend for more than a couple years and we are currently living together. We may take time apart and live seperatly when our lease is up in a few months, she says she loves me but does not want to live together for a while. ...
A. 24 March 2007: I've found that when someone is telling someone they like that person, suggesting friends have said you're not a good couple and that you should break up, they're are trying to set the stage for "the big move". I don't go around telling my friends ... (read in full...)
I cant imagine life without either of them!!
Q. I have been very happily married to my husband for 10 years but I also have feelings for my 6 years younger brother in law. My husband has two brothers and I get on very well with them both but I have developed strong feelings over a period of time ...
A. 24 March 2007: What a sorry excuse...."we always seem to end up together"..please don't even try to minimize this betrayal of your husband/kids/image/self. You are acting in a very weak manner. Kissing and cuddling like teenagers, give me a break. I won't ... (read in full...)
I need some excitement ibn my life...and am looking at my sisters husband!!
Q. My name is Helen. I'm married with 2 kids, but I'm feeling a little unhappy lately. My husband is a migrant (from Lebanon) and lately I don't feel like we have much in common. He doesn't really challenge me enough intellectually, and sexually things ...
A. 23 March 2007: I really hope you're joking. You descibe all the problems in your relationship, wrapped up in a nice package. Then put a really big bow on top. The bow being that you'd like to screw your brother in law. You're a real prize.
What on earth ar... (read in full...)
Do you think that he slept with her, and just lied to me ?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been going out for six months. Then today he tells me that he went out with a female friend of his and they went drinking and then he ended up sleeping at her place because it was late at night! I was a bit shocked at this ...
A. 23 March 2007: This is just wrong on so many levels. Its just one of the things you S T O P doing when you're in a relationship. PERIOD !! It's not appropriate. I don't care how secure someone is.
There is a certain radar we have built in that is used ... (read in full...)
Im due to meet my fiance's family, Im American breed, they are British, I want to make a good impression, whats the expected etiquette?
Q. I'm meeting my fiance's family for the first time. They're British and live in London and we'll staying at their house for a week. I know this could sound silly, but I was born and raised in America in a family where "proper" etiquette wasn't ...
A. 22 March 2007: Just be open to other ideas. Whatever you do, don't belittle (innocently) the way they do something by remarking that we do it a better way. Often, there are reasons why people do certain things. Many of them are historical and let's face it, ... (read in full...)
I can see my Husband has changed, but I have met another guy, do I try counselling with him, or make a go with the new guy!?
Q. I was married for two years and have been separated for five months. My husband was verbally abusive and has anger issues, when I left the relationship I was very unhappy, to the point of being depressed. He was also very unhappy. During our ...
A. 19 March 2007: This is tough. You married for a reson and for better or worse. Separation is not supposed to be a time when you're dating other people really. It's meant to be a breather form the person you're with. It's a step in a process. The process can ... (read in full...)
Why couldn't he wait a couple more hours instead of jerking off by himself!!!
Q. The other day my boyfriend was trying to get me to have sex with him in the morning when I was still asleep by putting my hand on his penis. However I had gone to bed later than him so was very tired and not in the mood to get up let alone have sex. ...
A. 18 March 2007: He didn't want to wait. This is not about you, it's his hand and his penis. To do it front of you is perhaps not in great taste but you can't control his masterbation.
Unless he's trying to make you feel guilty, don't take it personal... (read in full...)
Do you think this woman could have fancied me ??
Q. hi folks i was in a restaurant today and a woman entered with her family and sat down. i smiled at her but she didnt. a few minutes later i noticed her looking back and forth at me. could she fancy me? ta!...
A. 18 March 2007: Well...hmmmm....who knows. She might...she might not...anything is possible as well as not possible....... (read in full...)
How can I stop liking this married guy?
Q. Hi guys! I'm hoping for some advice on the following problem. Basically I'm 22 and work as a receptionist at the front of house of a big office block. There is a guy who is the boss of one of the companies which works in our offices who is in his ...
A. 18 March 2007: Eve is right. Your feelings are just that feelings. You can crreate an inappropriate mood though by letting too much of your feelings show. He brightens up your day, enjoy it. So what. Don't make your boyfriend a chump though by letting the ... (read in full...)
I found a girl's phone number in his pocket, do you think he's cheating on me?
Q. My boyfriend came home at 5 oclock in the morning. I found a girl's phone number in his pocket. Do you think he's been cheating on me?...
A. 18 March 2007: Well, he's got a girls phone number. It doesn't mena he's cheated but if it's innocent, it shouldn't be hidden form you either. What is wrong with coming home at 5 in the morning? I'll bet you were angry even before he got home.... (read in full...)
I'm not happy in my marriage and don't know whether to stay or leave...
Q. I have been married almost 5 years but we have been together for 10, we have a child together. Lately I am just not happy with anything in our reletionship he tries really hard, but he just talks to me and I roll my eyes, I never want to have sex ...
A. 18 March 2007: You sound unhappy and it almost sounds like you decided you're not worth the effort. If your husband is a good husband, then there is something worth fghting for. Why do you want to give up and what have you done to try and fix things?... (read in full...)
I'll tell you what I think then you tell me what YOU think!
Q. Well you know my other questions I asked. To add to that. My guy that only shaves once a week and gets the gray out of his goatee came home from work one day and stated he needed to dye it and shave. I didn't think much of it till he got up for work ...
A. 17 March 2007: I think your feelings about the situatin is accurate. You really don't know if she actually wanted him or not so that is unimportant. He felt flattered and sucked up the attention. It's very common but he just went a little too far by keeping ... (read in full...)
What should I do? The last thing I ever want to do is be untrue or hurt my wife.
Q. I have been with married for 4 years and together for 8 years. I love my wife, but she can be very selfish and self centered. I have a female friend at work that is on the verge of a divorce. I have been her shoulder to lean on, because she...
A. 16 March 2007: Hold on, you're slipping down the slippery slope. You're asking the questions you already know the answers to. DO NOT DO THIS.
Pretend this is a tape and listen to what you have said.... You have feelings for her....You're OK with a sibling ... (read in full...)
Why am I doubting my sexuality??
Q. Why am I doubting my sexuality? Within the last month or so, I have been unable to live a normal life without having this constant doubt about my sexuality. I don't really understand it or even if it's something to be concerned with? I keep ret...
A. 16 March 2007: Is there a chance you have OCD? Obsessive Compulsive Disorder....... (read in full...)
Married but want my friend to be more!
Q. Dear Cupid..... I have been married for almost four years. I met a nice man about a month before the wedding, and we are great friends.... but i want there to be more. It is destroying my marriage because i cant talk to my husband about it, and it i...
A. 16 March 2007: You're making a common mistake. You're decribing this other guy as your great friend. He's not a friend. A friend is buddy, pal, someone you hang out with. This is not at all what you desire with this other man. The fact that you were not ... (read in full...)
How do I keep myself under control without jeopardising our friendship?
Q. hi all, need your advice my husband and I have the same group of friends as we have been together for 12 years, we either all go out as a group or depending on events/shows etc, sometimes a couple of us go out on our own. The thing is though, ...
A. 15 March 2007: Wow, I feel very sorry for your husband. He's doing all the things a man should do to be a trusting good husband. You, in return, treat him like a chump. What a pitty.
I can not believe that you are soooo shallow that you'd try and nurture ... (read in full...)
I am emailing an ex and I truly feel like a woman again!
Q. Hi dear lisener, I am 40 years old have two grown up daughters and a lovely husband who has never let me go without anything... He has suffered now for about five years in the bedroom if you get my drift, I have always been patient and feel really ...
A. 15 March 2007: You started out so well...then you went off track. YOU already know that what you're doing is WRONG. That is why you wrote. So, if you know it's wrong, the first thing to do is STOP now. You're about to jump into a big mess.
If this is sop i... (read in full...)
I know this relationship will go nowhere as I am married but this gives me some happiness albeit platonic, where do I go from here?
Q. I really don't know what to do. I have been married for 17 years and have one 8 year old child. Looking back I married my wife because it seemed at the time....the right thing to do. I didn't have the feelings of love that I had in some earlier ...
A. 13 March 2007: The reason you have to distance yourself from the friendship is because of what frame of mind it put you in. YOU are the one who was concerned about what you should say to this woman. It's only a concern because you care for her in a way that is ... (read in full...)
I know this relationship will go nowhere as I am married but this gives me some happiness albeit platonic, where do I go from here?
Q. I really don't know what to do. I have been married for 17 years and have one 8 year old child. Looking back I married my wife because it seemed at the time....the right thing to do. I didn't have the feelings of love that I had in some earlier ...
A. 13 March 2007: You seem to miss the entire point here. You said you're ATTRACTED to the other woman. You said she's married! Maybe her husband won't want YOU around if you're single and sniffing around HIS wife. You would not be welcome as a "friend" of my ... (read in full...)
I think I just told my mate's boyfriend something I shouldn't have! Should I have kept my mouth shut?
Q. omg i just told my mates boyfriend ( who's also my mate) that last night she went on msn and watched some 20 year old wank on webcam . do you think i did the rite thing , they might not break up over it , but it is possible ! x x ...
A. 11 March 2007: Yes, you're a trouble maker. Big mistake. Ask yourself why you did that........ (read in full...)
We are soulmates! Is it wrong to have these feelings for someone else, yet still be in love with our spouses as well?
Q. "I found my soul mate 3 years ago,but were both married" Hi everyone,I'm just new to this forum,I was so surprised to read a forum letter and its replies about soulmates, I was never looking or in search for my soulmate, but our lives crossed 3 ...
A. 11 March 2007: You are ABSOLUTEY doing wrong. How could it be anything else? You're cheating on your spouse because you haven't bothered to work on your relationship. What a shame. You sneak around like a teenager. An hour a minute or a second is wrong. The ... (read in full...)
How can I control my jealousy? His daughter, I feel is bang out of order here.
Q. Im a 27 yr old women whos been going out with a 39 yr old man for almost two years now. We are deeply in love and pretty much happy. I am a very jealous person, and I need some advice on the reasonability of my jealousy. He has a 16 yr old daughter ...
A. 8 March 2007: You second reply is soooo much more detailed and gives useful information. She has issues she's dealing with. So do you. Talk to her father and let him know what she's saying and how you think it's in HER best interest to work on these things as ... (read in full...)
He is working later and later every night. Is he cheating on me?
Q. my boyfriend is working later and later every night. i hardly get to see him at all even though we live together, people are saying that he is cheating, he used to work later when he was with his ex, she later found out he was cheating. i dont know ...
A. 8 March 2007: One of the rreplys stated that your boyfriend is a sleaze. PAy no attention to those types of answers because they are worthless. Nobody here knows what your guy is doing. Time will tell. Talk to him, check it out for yourself. Nobody here ... (read in full...)
What should I do here... stick with the boyfriend and ditch the lover?
Q. Trapped between 2 men Hello there I ve been with my bf for 5 years, last 3 of them we are living together. Last couple years i ve started feeling very unhappy, although its not really my partner's fault. I still love him very much, but its a differ...
A. 8 March 2007: Your boyfriend should ditch you. He's honest and tells you what he's thinking. You mope around and then go sleep with someone else before ending your current relationship. It's odd how people try to rationalize POOR choices by pointing out the ... (read in full...)
He has a 13 year old daughter and I feel so jealous, I want him all to myself and don't want her near me!
Q. Children as a big turn-off! My lover has got a 13 years old daughter from a previous marriage. I find it xtremely difficult to get used to the idea she is number 1 in his life. I feel very jealous and dont want anything to do with her. I am asking h...
A. 8 March 2007: You are selfish and a little imature. You're competing with a child for a man she doesn't even want in the same way you do.
She's first in some ways you're first in others. When he goes out for a romantic dinner, it's with you. When he's wat... (read in full...)
How can I control my jealousy? His daughter, I feel is bang out of order here.
Q. Im a 27 yr old women whos been going out with a 39 yr old man for almost two years now. We are deeply in love and pretty much happy. I am a very jealous person, and I need some advice on the reasonability of my jealousy. He has a 16 yr old daughter ...
A. 8 March 2007: You've already spoken with your botfriend and he answered you. He didn't give you the answer you wanted though so you're etill digging. You also said you're a very jealous person, remember that. I'd also be interested to hear the tone of your ... (read in full...)
I know this relationship will go nowhere as I am married but this gives me some happiness albeit platonic, where do I go from here?
Q. I really don't know what to do. I have been married for 17 years and have one 8 year old child. Looking back I married my wife because it seemed at the time....the right thing to do. I didn't have the feelings of love that I had in some earlier ...
A. 6 March 2007: Yes you are after another man's wife. You know what your feelings are and that is what attracts you to her. The fact that you would ever contemplate telling her says you're fooling yourself about how much control you have. I'd bet my last cent if ... (read in full...)
I know this relationship will go nowhere as I am married but this gives me some happiness albeit platonic, where do I go from here?
Q. I really don't know what to do. I have been married for 17 years and have one 8 year old child. Looking back I married my wife because it seemed at the time....the right thing to do. I didn't have the feelings of love that I had in some earlier ...
A. 6 March 2007: Stop being selfish. You're questioning your marriage, so a good idea would be to ruin the marriage of the other lady, her husband and YOUR WIFE'S too. You're jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire. Use your head man. Of all the ideas ... (read in full...)
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