A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:my partner and i have split up after four years recently. we have two children and everything was going ok until recently. the last few months was approaching the 1st anniversary of her father passing away and her behaviour has been strange. understandably she wont open up and has become a text addict, every minute of the evening texting and hiding her phone. Regretably after weeks of this i gave her the ultimatum. show me the phone or im off! she didnt so being the stubborn fool i am i left for the eve with the warning ringing in my ears if i left never to come back. True to her word she is stubborn like me and has since uttered numerous occasions she will always love me but it will never work. if i walked out once i will do it again. i have begged for another chance, i realise my error and this texting is maybe a way of coping with the loss of her father. im ashamed of my reactions and i dont know what to do. she is adamant she will be better of alone with our two children as they should not have to see their father leave ever again. they are moving out of the family home and we are to put it up for sale. im staying with my parents in the meantime. iv offered to go to relate, to work things out , to listen more. all in all, i dont know what to do. my partner is a very stubborn person who does not like to be backed into a corner . does anyone think i should just move on? i miss her and my children like crazy and wish i didnt give her that ultimatum that day but i did,iv apologised a million times. and me walking out is all she remembers. please, any advice would be appreciated
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male
reader, eddie  +, writes (12 June 2007):
 I think it might be possible she's up to something. Your leaving has given her the opportunity to back out of your relationship without looking bad. The proof is you're already begging for forgiveness.
What's with all the texting? If my wife started texting for hours every night and hiding her phone, I'd wonder too. She must be texting someone and the fact she won't say who is strange. You have a right to know. More than a right to know, you're justified in wondering. A mature person would understand your curiosity and would probably explain because they'd understand that it was strange behavior. If I spent hours every night doing something private and secretive, my wife would ask what I was up to.
She's taken this opportunity to turn the situation in her favor without looking bad.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2007): Do not give up. If you love this woman and you realize your mistake that is what matters. She is afraid you will leave again and as you said, it wasn't one of your brightest moments. But you have children to think about. If you can honestly say that you won't let something like this happen again then keep fighting for it. I am stobborn also but nothing makes me want to try harder then my boyfriend trying harder. It may take awhile for her to give in but I wouldn't give up on her. Family is the most important thing and you need to try and hold your together as long as possible. I am not saying what she did with her phone was right (Not showing when you asked) But if you believe and trust her that nothing is going on work on getting her back, then work through your problems about her phone. Our lives nowadays are nothing but technology, the people who cheat have better options and the people who don't get accused of it. But coming from a female who can be stubborn also, I say keep going after her! Best of luck to you!
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