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male
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*ithnail700
writes:Help! I think I am falling in love with a beautiful married girl who lives only a few doors away from me. Whenever we meet, we flirt and gaze adoringly at one another - and always end up in a passionate embrace which I always hope will never end. I think she feels the same way. The only trouble is, she still lives with her estranged husband and their four children, although she assures me the marriage is over and has been for some time. From what she has told me, she made the move to end it. Unfortunately though, things are complicated and very messy. The other night I held her for the 'last dance' at the local club and the whole village witnessed us 'together'. We were both drunk and we held one-another very passionately. But her friend quickly tore her off me and I was advised by a stranger to leave very quickly before an angry mob of locals decended on me. It's a very small, tight-knit community and she is so beautiful and attractive; half the men in the town want her. And now I am quite sure her husband knows. It's been 24 hours now, and I still have my jaw and windows intact. But I'm worried. I think I love her, but it seems so hopeless. I think she feels the same way, but she flirts with all the men in the village and I don't really trust her. But I can't get her out of my mind. I feel as if I'm going mad. What should i do?
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drunk, flirt, married woman Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2010): Be careful, either the husband and/or son (if there's one) might try to beat and/or kill you.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2008): She is a married woman. She has taken a vow to be with that man til "death do us part". You have no business getting friendly with a married woman. If she is in fact flirting with you then she is not the type of person you would want anyway.
Run as far and as fast as you can from this trouble.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2007): Ring the bells for me. I've similar experience like this and this far, I've still date her. We are both maried couple and I somehow feel that this woamn is my soulmate. I do wish and pray that things will cahnge and she'll be mine someday, and I'm willing to wait since I love her so much. I believe in dreams, and somehow this woman is one sweet dream I couldn't get rid off. my advice is please be careful with what you do. You are a grown adult and should be held responsible of what youre doing.
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male
reader, Withnail700 +, writes (8 June 2007):
Withnail700 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thankyou for that last response, perhaps the most wise and considered. In truth, I have no real sense of what she feels towards me. She never initiates contact between us, and when we do meet it is always by chance. Her homelife is desperate, I know that; and it may well be the case that she merely sees me as a distraction from the living hell of a violent husband, an over-work and severe debt. Love is indeed a wierd and wonderful beast, but whatever the strength of my own feelings they count for nothing if they are not reciprocated.
Thank you again to all.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2007): Love is a strange and wonderful thing...and when there's chemistry between two people you simply can't deny it. Who knows why she *really* flirts. Clearly, she isn't happy with where she is in life/marriage at this time. That's fine and is what it is. She wants something else, and I'd guess that once she finds whatever she is looking for she'll reduce her flirtatious behavior..if that's a concern. I also can't see the future, so who knows!?! ;)Personally, I'd talk with her and find out *what* she wants ... *what* makes her happy ... and from there start figuring out if the two of you are in alignment for a longer term relationship, or not. Follow your intuition.
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male
reader, Withnail700 +, writes (6 June 2007):
Withnail700 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTHANK YOU so much to all whom have replied to my question. I think deep down all of you are right - this sounds like trouble. My gut tells me and I am worried. Logically I know I should forget about her. But sadly, the truth is my head and my heart are fighting and I also have to admit that the dance we shared on that fateful night was in truth the most romantic moment of my life. It makes for little sense, I do realise that and in essence completely agree with all of you. But is love ever that straightforward?
I would like to point out though, that nothing other than a hug has passed between us and we are not having a physical affair so to speak. But that is not to say that our hearts are not entwined. Perhaps though, it may well be that it is only mine that is. I just don't know.
But thank you again to all of you kind enough to offer me your time and considered opinions. It has made a difference.
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male
reader, eddie  +, writes (4 June 2007):
 Well, you can't trust her because she's a flirt and an adulterer and you won't be trusted because you're willing to be with a married woman. The small community won't trust either of you because you're flaunting the affair in public.
What I never understand is this...if a relationship is really OVER, why do people have trouble officially ending them. It would be so nice if people could manage to keep their pants on until the original relationship is severed. It would make things so much cleaner. People tend to take the easy way out.
If she's so interested in you, and you in her, do the right thing and play by the rules. If her nature is to flirt with the entire male population of the town, how will you feel when she's your lady. Will you be comfortable if she goes out for an evening and you're not there? Will yo wonder what's going on if you see her talking to a man on the corner. Remember, she's a big flirt. I think you're enjoying the attention this pretty lady is giving you. That's understandable. There are some lyrics to a song that go like this,..."she's not pretty, she just looks that way:...pretty is more than skin deep. Go for substance.
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female
reader, suz001  +, writes (4 June 2007):
Stop. Think. What exactly do you want from this woman?? You say that you do not trust her, that she flirts with the entire town AND she is married with children. A married woman who flirts with every other guy. This woman means only one thing - trouble!!Stop things now, before it goes to far (if it hasn't already!). Save yourself from a broken heart, and humiliation. Why is she still iving with her husband if things isn't working out between them? And if it is because of the kids, why can't they live together as two divorced parents? I think that this woman is taking you for a ride, and you might not be the only one on the wagon. Get off, now! While everything is still in tact!There are many pretty, single girls out there!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2007): It sounds like this women is unhappy in her marriage and so likes attention from other men, try and see that for what it is.What a mistake you have made by allowing things to get as far as they have. You ask what you should do, my advice is to leave this situation well alone. It is not hard to distance yourself from this and focus your attention on to other things, live your life as you had done before you started getting involved with her. I doubt you love this women, you are more enjoying the chemistry and the attention. Her mistake is that she is seeking attention from other men, your mistake is that you want that kind of attention without caring about the regard of the circumstances in which you receive it. See the situation in this context and you will feel much better equipped at putting this women out of your attention and getting on with your life. You did perfectly well without her up until now and you'll do perfectly well in the future without her too.
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