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... Send *ddie a private message | | | *ddie's profile:Hi there. I go by Eddie. I'm from Canada. I have a great wife and two great kids, both teenagers. I've been with my wife for 21 years and we dated for two years before that.
I enjoy travel and learning new things. Different cultures interest me and what makes them tick. I think there is always a reason for the way certain cultures do things and many times we are too quick to judge things that we find odd.
The more places I go and the more people I meet, the more I see that we are so similar. Everybody is trying to enjoy life but we are all influenced along the way by the stuff that "happens". The trick is to learn from the lessons and carry on. I have a short fuse for infedility and take marriage very seriously. It's not from personal experiences either. I just don't understand why people don't seem to fix the problems in their marriages before they create more. I see lots of questions on this site pertaining to this topic, that's why I added this part. |
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| Latest articles: Why do people think the unattached person in a love triangle is a victim?
This question has 9 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 September 2007: Why is it that people get involved in love triangles and feel rejected when they don't work out? Why do so many agony aunts treat the third member of the triangle as a victim? I'm tired of hearing people reccommend.... "distance yourself from hi...
Fidelity and marriage
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 May 2007: Many times, we see questions asking for advice about marriage, monotony and fidelity. I tend to be cut and dry on this topic and often without compassion for the person struggling in this area. What bothers me most, is the ability of people to ...
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I know this relationship will go nowhere as I am married but this gives me some happiness albeit platonic, where do I go from here?
Q. I really don't know what to do. I have been married for 17 years and have one 8 year old child. Looking back I married my wife because it seemed at the time....the right thing to do. I didn't have the feelings of love that I had in some earlier ...
A. 13 March 2007: The reason you have to distance yourself from the friendship is because of what frame of mind it put you in. YOU are the one who was concerned about what you should say to this woman. It's only a concern because you care for her in a way that is ... (read in full...)
I know this relationship will go nowhere as I am married but this gives me some happiness albeit platonic, where do I go from here?
Q. I really don't know what to do. I have been married for 17 years and have one 8 year old child. Looking back I married my wife because it seemed at the time....the right thing to do. I didn't have the feelings of love that I had in some earlier ...
A. 13 March 2007: You seem to miss the entire point here. You said you're ATTRACTED to the other woman. You said she's married! Maybe her husband won't want YOU around if you're single and sniffing around HIS wife. You would not be welcome as a "friend" of my ... (read in full...)
How can I control my jealousy? His daughter, I feel is bang out of order here.
Q. Im a 27 yr old women whos been going out with a 39 yr old man for almost two years now. We are deeply in love and pretty much happy. I am a very jealous person, and I need some advice on the reasonability of my jealousy. He has a 16 yr old daughter ...
A. 8 March 2007: You second reply is soooo much more detailed and gives useful information. She has issues she's dealing with. So do you. Talk to her father and let him know what she's saying and how you think it's in HER best interest to work on these things as ... (read in full...)
How can I control my jealousy? His daughter, I feel is bang out of order here.
Q. Im a 27 yr old women whos been going out with a 39 yr old man for almost two years now. We are deeply in love and pretty much happy. I am a very jealous person, and I need some advice on the reasonability of my jealousy. He has a 16 yr old daughter ...
A. 8 March 2007: You've already spoken with your botfriend and he answered you. He didn't give you the answer you wanted though so you're etill digging. You also said you're a very jealous person, remember that. I'd also be interested to hear the tone of your ... (read in full...)
Is this man telling me the truth or is he spinning me a line?
Q. I'm getting married this summer to a wonderful guy that I care for very much, but after three years, as much as I try, I still can't move completely on from my online friend. Our online friendship started out with us both meeting and talking ...
A. 7 March 2007: It's too bad you only told half the story when you first wrote for advice. You secondary reply gave lots of additional information.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend says he wants to go camping for a few days but there will be no phone reception there... should I be worried and trust him?
Q. my b/f wants to go camping in the woods by himself for a few days or a week..he says its a place where there is no reception. I am actually a little worried into thinking what if he goes camping for a few days but then leaves early to go to las ...
A. 6 March 2007: He can do whatever he chooses whenever he chooses. PERIOD. How do you know he's not meeting some foxy female fur trapper in her cozy lodge. Maybe he's meeting Jennifer Lopez....The possibilities are endless....OR...maybe he's going CAMPING !!!!!... (read in full...)
I know this relationship will go nowhere as I am married but this gives me some happiness albeit platonic, where do I go from here?
Q. I really don't know what to do. I have been married for 17 years and have one 8 year old child. Looking back I married my wife because it seemed at the time....the right thing to do. I didn't have the feelings of love that I had in some earlier ...
A. 6 March 2007: Yes you are after another man's wife. You know what your feelings are and that is what attracts you to her. The fact that you would ever contemplate telling her says you're fooling yourself about how much control you have. I'd bet my last cent if ... (read in full...)
I know this relationship will go nowhere as I am married but this gives me some happiness albeit platonic, where do I go from here?
Q. I really don't know what to do. I have been married for 17 years and have one 8 year old child. Looking back I married my wife because it seemed at the time....the right thing to do. I didn't have the feelings of love that I had in some earlier ...
A. 6 March 2007: Stop being selfish. You're questioning your marriage, so a good idea would be to ruin the marriage of the other lady, her husband and YOUR WIFE'S too. You're jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire. Use your head man. Of all the ideas ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend says he wants to go camping for a few days but there will be no phone reception there... should I be worried and trust him?
Q. my b/f wants to go camping in the woods by himself for a few days or a week..he says its a place where there is no reception. I am actually a little worried into thinking what if he goes camping for a few days but then leaves early to go to las ...
A. 6 March 2007: This is strange. Why Las Vegas, why not Rome or Miami. Perhaps Fiji. What details are you leaving out. If you just expect an answer based on this information, there's something wrong. What leads you to think this way? Please respond.... (read in full...)
Is this man telling me the truth or is he spinning me a line?
Q. I'm getting married this summer to a wonderful guy that I care for very much, but after three years, as much as I try, I still can't move completely on from my online friend. Our online friendship started out with us both meeting and talking ...
A. 6 March 2007: DO NOT get married. You do not care about your fiancee at all. All you care about is this other guy and your dirty games. Are you serious? You're exchanging pictures of penis's and vaginas with a stranger while planning your wedding. That's ... (read in full...)
am i being paranoid into thinking he wanted to change the sheets in order to be able to use them with someone else?
Q. I was with my b.f over the weekend..he is able to do laundry at a relative's house b/c they have a washer and dryer..he said oh if we are going out, might as well stop over there and put the sheets (off the bed) in and wash them. And my b/f knew he ...
A. 6 March 2007: You could make a case out of this but do you relly want to? Anything is possible but is it likely? You could worry endlessly here.... (read in full...)
Anyone else get bruises between their legs and not know how they got there? Seems a bit fishy to me...
Q. I was with my gf of 6 mos Sat. night. I was going down on her and noticed a bruise about the size of a quarter about 5 inches from her vagina. I asked her about it, and she just said "OH, I bruise easy". I've never seen a bruise before on her in my ...
A. 6 March 2007: Are you crazy? She has a bruise the size of a quarter and you're going to quiz her about fidelity. If THIS is the only reason you've got....yo're way out of line. C'mon, take off the Sherlock Holmes hat here. You're lucky she didn't give you a ... (read in full...)
Why do men like to play "head games" or string a woman on if they have no intentions of being with you?
Q. Why do men like to play "head games" or string a woman on if they have no intentions to be with you? (Meaning for a serious relationship) I won't lie, he is married, and we were seeing each other for over 2.5 yrs. It's not like we had sex every ...
A. 6 March 2007: What kind of man is he??....Hmmmm...he's just like YOU !!You're both dishonest, selfish, no feelings and uncaring. You don't care about relationships, children commitment...the list goes on. You're just frustrated because you chose to sit in the ... (read in full...)
He told me he loved me and was in the middle of a messy divorce. Few weeks later his WIFE calls me and asked what's going on... what do I do? I'm sick to my stomach.
Q. I met a man at an out of state conference I was speaking at. We hit it off right away and traded biz cards. I heard from him a day or two later and we found ourselves talking endlessly on the phone, emails and im's. He started calling me pet names: ...
A. 6 March 2007: You can't trust him. He's a liar, he's not even through with his wife and he's planning on you carrying his next child. He wants to get remarried already...are you hearing all this.
Step back and give your head a shake. This is all way too fast... (read in full...)
Is it normal that I mis "her" more than my girlfriend?
Q. is it normal that i miss 'her' more than my gf, i talk to 'her' more than my gf, i want to have sex with 'her' more than my gf? i think i'm falling in love with her. help!!...
A. 6 March 2007: I think your information is a little vague here. We don't charge by the word....
It's all possible and could happen thoughout your life. We come across people we like and are attracted to. Stay focused on your relationship and just enjoy th... (read in full...)
I have just found out my husband is texting another woman but he assures me she is a customer and is only asking for advice!
Q. i have just found out my husband is texting another woman, i have had my suspicions for a few months now, it came to a head the other night, he tells me she is a customer who keeps asking him about gardening as she has just started it up, and he is ...
A. 6 March 2007: IS she getting ready to plant her February/March flowers? That's an early gardening season. When does she call, how often? Do they see eachother in private? ... (read in full...)
I had protected sex with a woman and the condom split, she told me she has had unprotected sex with men before. Should I be worried?
Q. Hi,I am very concern about this, I hope you can give me some good advice, I had protected sex with a female, during intercourse the condom split, and I actually came inside her, but came out quick. She told me later she had a unprotected sex with ...
A. 6 March 2007: Should you be concerned? Yes, although to what extent I'm not sure. You should be concerned when you have sex with any stranger. How many men has she been with...how many people have those men been with. You've now been with all those people ... (read in full...)
My wife keeps telling me they are "just friends", but I'm not sure that's all he wants!
Q. My wife keeps telling me they are "just friends", but I'm not sure that's all he wants. My wife has been hanging out with this guy for a little under a year now. They regularly hang out with a few other people on Thursday nights to watch TV/movie...
A. 6 March 2007: Don't put all the blame on the other guy. Your wife is usuing poor judgement if she feels it's appropriate to be up in the guys room watching movies in the dark. She's a married lady, first! And no, you don't totally trust her either. AT least ... (read in full...)
My wife keeps telling me they are "just friends", but I'm not sure that's all he wants!
Q. My wife keeps telling me they are "just friends", but I'm not sure that's all he wants. My wife has been hanging out with this guy for a little under a year now. They regularly hang out with a few other people on Thursday nights to watch TV/movie...
A. 5 March 2007: First of all, many people will say you should trust, don't be foolish, give her her freedom etc. Those things are all true. At the same time, she's YOUR wife, not his girlfriend. Since you can never prove he was trying to touch your wifes leg, you ... (read in full...)
He makes me feel worthless and now I've met someone else, but I still like this man I'm with, I don't know what to do?
Q. I've been going out wit a man for a couple of months now our realtionship is ok and he can be quite caring i know he loves me alot although he doesnt actually show me himself that he does. Because of this i've been made to feel like i am worthl...
A. 5 March 2007: The good news is you've identified a problem. The bad news is you're considering being unfaithful. You've only been with this guy a couple months so you don't have too much time invested in the relationship. Just do the right thing. If you're ... (read in full...)
Do his actions mean that he likes me or is he just flirtatious with all women ??
Q. Guys please tell me what you think. I work with three men and eight women and one of the men I seem to have a really good working relationship with. He laughs and banters with all the women in a friendly way but when we are on our own he touches my ...
A. 4 March 2007: I wan't serious about the suing part but it does sound like he is interested in you. In all fairness though, you must agree that in this day and age, people don't usually stroke others heads or anything else in the workplace. It most often means ... (read in full...)
Am I obsessive??
Q. My friends think I have a mild form of Obsessive Compulisive Disorder (OCD) but i dont think i do so i thought i would see what you guys think. when i leave my house, i will constantly check that i have got everything i need (phone, keys, makeup e...
A. 4 March 2007: I'm familiar with OCD and it sounds to me as if you've got some traits that go with it. Talk to your doctor or a therapist, depending on how much it bothers you or interfers with your life. This type of advice should come from a qualified ... (read in full...)
How can I get over the fact that my bf likes breast implants!!?
Q. I'm completely turned off by my boyfriend because he likes Anna Nicole Smith's breast implants! I sent him pictures as a joke because I found them absolutely horrific, and when he wouldn't comment on them I asked him why. He finally told me he can ...
A. 3 March 2007: He's with you because he wants to be with you. Is he still going to find you attractive in the future. Probably. What he won't find attractive is your insecurity and unreasonable thinking. Take it form me, I've been insecure too. The big clue ... (read in full...)
How can I get over the fact that my bf likes breast implants!!?
Q. I'm completely turned off by my boyfriend because he likes Anna Nicole Smith's breast implants! I sent him pictures as a joke because I found them absolutely horrific, and when he wouldn't comment on them I asked him why. He finally told me he can ...
A. 3 March 2007: "I still love him""I've always found...." WHO CARES what you've always found. WOW, what a statement. He likes boobs, so what!
He doesn't have to agree with you. You sent him the picture and then YOU came down on him. There's a reason w... (read in full...)
Been with the same guy for 15 years, I love him, but I also love someone else!!!
Q. what do i do i have been with the same man for 15 years i do love him, but i am in love with another man i don't know what to do.they are both great men i don't see how i could choose between them.i have a 14 year old boy with the man i been with ...
A. 3 March 2007: This is a very simple one to answer. You do the honourable, decent, moral, proper, nice, caring thing here. You muster up some integrity and put your hard work into the relationship with the man you love and are married to....your husband. Why ... (read in full...)
Do his actions mean that he likes me or is he just flirtatious with all women ??
Q. Guys please tell me what you think. I work with three men and eight women and one of the men I seem to have a really good working relationship with. He laughs and banters with all the women in a friendly way but when we are on our own he touches my ...
A. 3 March 2007: If you don't want to go out with him but need some cash, you could probably sue him quite easily. Does he like you? Its quite possible. He's a little forward though considering he's your employer. It's not really appropriate.... (read in full...)
If you had the chance to spend one night with Angelina Jolie... would you?
Q. I have a question that I'm dying to ask. I have a notion that almost everyone with eyes and a libido would love to have sex with Angelina Jolie. I know I would!!! Anytime. Any day. Any way. Oh yeah. So, here goes, if you had the chance to spend ...
A. 3 March 2007: Guess what? If you're a female and you say you'd have sex with Angelina Jolie, YOU'RE NOT STRAIGHT! Straight people don't have sex with members of the same sex. I'm not saying it's bad, just that you're not straight. Straight folks don't do ... (read in full...)
Do all men like pert boobs ?
Q. Hay - this is a question mainly for the blokes. What are your thoughts on boobs, i mean is it really that important if there not completely pert? Cause mine aren't and im really scared to take my top off infront of men let alone have sex topless ...
A. 2 March 2007: Men like boobs...period...... (read in full...)
Am I failing to manage my own fears or do I have a reationship probem?
Q. My partner of 2 years is a recovering alcoholic. During residential treatment of 4 weeks she revealed to me that she had fancied her therapist supervisor. Nothing happened although she said if the opportunity had arisen she would have been tempted, ...
A. 2 March 2007: First, her therapist has crossed the line. PERIOD !!
He's texting her and she's lying to you about it. Hmmmm.....I smell something rotten.
She tells you she fantasizes about him and he shares intimate details about his life with her. He so... (read in full...)
Am I failing to manage my own fears or do I have a reationship probem?
Q. My partner of 2 years is a recovering alcoholic. During residential treatment of 4 weeks she revealed to me that she had fancied her therapist supervisor. Nothing happened although she said if the opportunity had arisen she would have been tempted, ...
A. 2 March 2007: First, her therapist has crossed the line. PERIOD !!
He's texting her and she's lying to you about it. Hmmmm.....I smell something rotten.
She tells you she fantasizes about him and he shares intimate details about his life with her. He so... (read in full...)
If you had the chance to spend one night with Angelina Jolie... would you?
Q. I have a question that I'm dying to ask. I have a notion that almost everyone with eyes and a libido would love to have sex with Angelina Jolie. I know I would!!! Anytime. Any day. Any way. Oh yeah. So, here goes, if you had the chance to spend ...
A. 2 March 2007: No, because i'm married. She's pretty but looks are aa dime a dozen. I find most Hollywood types to be without much substance.... (read in full...)
My fiance went to the doctors for a check up. According to him this 'hot' female doctor smiled when she touched his penis! The nerve!
Q. Am I being unreasonable? My fiance told me that this summer (before we got together) he went to a female doctor to get things checked out down there and he said that she was hot and she put her hand around his thing and smiled. Just picturing it ...
A. 2 March 2007: What is thebehaviour that bothers you? The fact he told you? You sound insecure. I'm sure he's reading a little too much into this doctor visit. It's probably wishful thinking on his part. Someone is reading to many fantasy novels.... (read in full...)
Is these advice sites for real?
Q. NEED ASSURANCE FROM AGONY AUNTS.. I came across some material that said that some of the information or questions that are posted on sites like this (dearcupid.org) are made up so as to make them popular. Also the information displayed is not...
A. 28 February 2007: It's all made up of people's opinions and issues. That's why it's called advice.... (read in full...)
I had dinner with my ex from 25 years ago and now I'm getting itchy! I'm married and he is seeing someone too although he said it's not serious. Help!
Q. I had dinner with my ex from 25 years ago. We had such a great time. He sent me an email afterwards saying what a great time he had and asking if we can have dinner again in the near future. He is dating someone on and off but did say he wants to ...
A. 28 February 2007: I'd like to add something. We all miss out on things in life. It isn't a bowl of cherries and we don't get everything we want. What arae you missing and how have you tried to fix the problem? Here's a scenario....
you leave your husband ... (read in full...)
I had dinner with my ex from 25 years ago and now I'm getting itchy! I'm married and he is seeing someone too although he said it's not serious. Help!
Q. I had dinner with my ex from 25 years ago. We had such a great time. He sent me an email afterwards saying what a great time he had and asking if we can have dinner again in the near future. He is dating someone on and off but did say he wants to ...
A. 28 February 2007: Are you crazy? No really! This is a ridiculous question. Of course you SHOULD NOT see him again. Are you trying to convince yourself that some off the cuff compliment is worth your marriage? I'm being blunt because you're on the verge of doing ... (read in full...)
I kissed by flatmate...but I love my boyfriend! Now my flatmate's trying to make me jealous! Help!
Q. I need help!!! ive been with my boyfriend for a year and we are really happy together, but i moved away to uni last september and i think i fancy one of the lads i live with, we kissed but i felt so guitly coz of my boyfriend, now my flatmate keep...
A. 27 February 2007: If you don't care about him then let him do what he wants....why would it bother you? He can't make you feel something you don't feel OR, do you feel something??? ... (read in full...)
I shared my fantasies w/ her to spice up our sex life, and she won't tell me her's! How do I get her to be more open?
Q. I have been married for a couple of years now and before our wedding me and my wife were seeing each other for a few years more. Our sex life has been good over the years, but i would like to spice it up a bit. I have heard that one way to get clos...
A. 27 February 2007: Your wife might be telling the truth. Women don't think about sex like men. In many cases, if we knew how little they thought about it we'd be devistated......... (read in full...)
I cheated b/c I thought having sex w/ this other guy would lead to a relationship, but now he's ignorning me! I'm humiliated! Please help.
Q. i need advice, i have been in a 12 step programme for 2 yrs and met a guy at the meetings i really felt a connection with 1 year ago. nothing happend because i was in a relationship of 12 years already,i left my boyfriend for 4 months to sort out ...
A. 27 February 2007: Now that you realize you've made a poor choice, you have to move on. Deal with the present and try to figure out what happened. You're in a 12 step program so you've got soe issues. Find out what makes you tick and remember where you went astray. ... (read in full...)
I cheated b/c I thought having sex w/ this other guy would lead to a relationship, but now he's ignorning me! I'm humiliated! Please help.
Q. i need advice, i have been in a 12 step programme for 2 yrs and met a guy at the meetings i really felt a connection with 1 year ago. nothing happend because i was in a relationship of 12 years already,i left my boyfriend for 4 months to sort out ...
A. 27 February 2007: How do you know if he lost repect for you? You don't know that he ever had any. You're trying to let yourself off the hook to easily. You say "Now 3 months later this other guy is back in my life"..Was it like POOF, he appeared in a flash? YOU ... (read in full...)
I found out the beginning of our relationship wasn't what I thought. How do I move on from this?
Q. I'm 20 and I've been going out with my girlfriend for almost 2 years. We've been living together for 9 months. Last week we were both talking about previous relationships and flings when we got on the subject of the last person we'd slept with ...
A. 27 February 2007: Listen, when we're in a new realtionship we don't open up with both barrels blazing at the beginning. You'd scare the other person off. She hardly knew you in the beginning and she did exist before you met. So, considering she did exist before ... (read in full...)
The girls at work like me for my friendliness but I don't want complications.. I'm getting engaged!
Q. I can't really feel a difference when i am engaged in a conversation with a girl at work and the one i am dating outside. I turn mellow sometimes in work with them for this reason. Some girls at work find me quite friendly and try to have a go after ...
A. 27 February 2007: You should continue to be a friendly guy and stay within the boundaries of a respect for your girlfriend. Do you really think that the world stops revolving when you get engaged. Life goes on and people will come and go into your daily life. I ... (read in full...)
I'm seeing a married man and I know it's going nowhere, so why can I not say goodbye?
Q. I have been having an affair with a married man for three years and i know it is not going anywhere.So why have i not got the courage to say goodbye? As i know it,s what i need to do before someone gets really hurt...
A. 22 February 2007: Who are you afraid is going to get hurt. I bet it's not his wife. You're in a bad spot. I understand how these things happen but I have a difficult time feeling sorry for you. You built a dream based on deception, adultry and very little moral ... (read in full...)
Should I go back to her and will I ever be able to get these awful images and thoughts of them out of my mind?
Q. Sorry, bit of a long and complex one but I'd really apprecaite some advice because I haven't got any friends who have been this involved before and hence they can't understand. I have been seeing and living with my girlfriend for the last 3 years. ...
A. 21 February 2007: I'd say you're taking a HUGE chance by going back with this woman. While her depression is one thing, how does sleeping with this other guy help, unless she wanted a baby from him. Otherwise it was just sex and she already had that with you.
... (read in full...)
I have been such an idiot and I love my wife so much but now we're going through a divorce which neither of us really wants, how do I get my wife back?
Q. I cheated on my wife with someone who I would not normally look at( Work colleague), This woman treated me so amaizingly to try to show what I could have!!! She ended up being a nutter and told my wife all about it. My intention at the time was to ...
A. 21 February 2007: This is a life lesson. Of course she's trusting her family, she can't trust her husband !! You sound sincere. That's nice but it doesn't cahnge what you did and she's under no obligation to care about how you feel.... (read in full...)
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