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... Send *ddie a private message | | | *ddie's profile:Hi there. I go by Eddie. I'm from Canada. I have a great wife and two great kids, both teenagers. I've been with my wife for 21 years and we dated for two years before that.
I enjoy travel and learning new things. Different cultures interest me and what makes them tick. I think there is always a reason for the way certain cultures do things and many times we are too quick to judge things that we find odd.
The more places I go and the more people I meet, the more I see that we are so similar. Everybody is trying to enjoy life but we are all influenced along the way by the stuff that "happens". The trick is to learn from the lessons and carry on. I have a short fuse for infedility and take marriage very seriously. It's not from personal experiences either. I just don't understand why people don't seem to fix the problems in their marriages before they create more. I see lots of questions on this site pertaining to this topic, that's why I added this part. |
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| Latest articles: Why do people think the unattached person in a love triangle is a victim?
This question has 9 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 September 2007: Why is it that people get involved in love triangles and feel rejected when they don't work out? Why do so many agony aunts treat the third member of the triangle as a victim? I'm tired of hearing people reccommend.... "distance yourself from hi...
Fidelity and marriage
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 May 2007: Many times, we see questions asking for advice about marriage, monotony and fidelity. I tend to be cut and dry on this topic and often without compassion for the person struggling in this area. What bothers me most, is the ability of people to ...
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I've been cheating on my boyfriend... what do I do for the best?
Q. i am not in love with my boy friend anymore and have been seeing someone else behind his back what should i do ...
A. 24 May 2007: Why do people always start at the ending and work back to the appropriate beginning? The honorable choice would have been to resist cheating until you were no longer involved with your boyfriend. You didn't do that and it 's too late to change ... (read in full...)
Is his watching porn caused his lack of sexual interest in me?
Q. My 30 yr old bf likes to watch porn featuring 50 yr old women. He said it has nothing to do with how attracted he is to me, but lately has not been able to perform sexually. Im really afraid he doesn't find me sexually attractive and is just with me ...
A. 23 May 2007: Many men or people are turned on by different things at different stages of life. I remember when I was 20, I was attracted to young women. An older man I worked with wasn't. He was only in his mid 30's but he said the women I like were too young ... (read in full...)
My husband gave one of his buddies "oral"...
Q. I found out that my husband gave one of his male friends oral. It happened when we were all drinking and I found out from his friend about 2 weeks after it happened. Here is a little background: This friend of his has always wanted to have his way ...
A. 23 May 2007: Hey Frank B Kermit, what's up? As to your question about offering advice without experiencing bi sexuality ,we offer advice based on life experiences and our opinions. We don't have to participate in a threesome to know there are downsides to that ... (read in full...)
My husband gave one of his buddies "oral"...
Q. I found out that my husband gave one of his male friends oral. It happened when we were all drinking and I found out from his friend about 2 weeks after it happened. Here is a little background: This friend of his has always wanted to have his way ...
A. 22 May 2007: You play a dangerous game when you swing. It opens many wounds and is often difficult to handle. I've never done it and it might sound like a fantasy type thing but real life is often different. Be careful.
As far as your husband being gay, if ... (read in full...)
Living happily with my guy, but cant get this ex work colleague out of my head, am I just obsessed!?
Q. Ive been living with my BF for 8 years. He is a great guy. Could not ask for more. I started a new job in 2006 and worked with a guy for three months before he left to go to another job. We had a lot in common as far as our current relationship ...
A. 22 May 2007: I should have mention this, you need to get the dust off your relationship with your boyfriend. Don't get into the rut of becoming complacent. Re-kindle the romance and be thankful you have a great guy.... (read in full...)
Living happily with my guy, but cant get this ex work colleague out of my head, am I just obsessed!?
Q. Ive been living with my BF for 8 years. He is a great guy. Could not ask for more. I started a new job in 2006 and worked with a guy for three months before he left to go to another job. We had a lot in common as far as our current relationship ...
A. 22 May 2007: You need to stop contacting the other guy. You have both already started cheating, emotionally. There is a reason you're asking this question. It's because you know in your heart that when you talk to him, it makes you feel great. It will happen ... (read in full...)
Am I wasting my time chasing this married man?
Q. Please I need advice! I have been seeing a married man each week at a club but the thing is we havent had sex just kissed and stuff - nothing more. He is always there making sure I get home ok - even helped me when i was drunk. The looks he has on ...
A. 22 May 2007: You're young. You'll learn that these "relationships" are trouble. I'm not going to curse or be as blunt as I might usually be but what you're doing is mean and selfish. It's not really important what you want out of this because you're not ... (read in full...)
I cheated although not sexually, I'm pregnant with twins, but my bf doesnt think they are his!!!
Q. Hi, A few months ago i cheated on my b/f of 2 1/2 yrs. I met a bloke off the internet and spent 3 nites with him. We didnt have any sexual contact as such although we did kiss and we both wanted to but i couldnt go through with it as i realised...
A. 22 May 2007: His feelings are justified. I won't beat you over the head saying things like ...you shouldn't have doen this or that....you already know that. Beside the fact you're pregnant, what's hurting him is picturing you in bed with another man, kissing, ... (read in full...)
Torn between my mistress and my family! What should I do?
Q. I have a huge delima,i started becoming friends with a female co-worker,we knew each other some, then begining of March of last year, we became close. We talk everyday, all day,tease, joke around, she is just amazing to me, very diffrent in ever...
A. 20 May 2007: Mira hombre, tiene que pensar en el futuro y su familia. You are not really committed to your family. You say you are, but you're not. That is the first truth you need to accept. Second truth is this. You, and perhaps your wife, became lazy and ... (read in full...)
Getting into my pants is easy-peasy
Q. I was talking in email with a friend about what age I lost my virginity and that moved on to a discussion about what age most women do and why and how they feel about it. I'm not looking for stories here, by the way, I do have a point I'm getting ...
A. 19 May 2007: There isn't so much of an issue with when someone has sex as much as the issue of generalization, painting everyone with the same brush.
You like sex. That's good. It wasn't always what people wanted to hear a woman say. Although the times ha... (read in full...)
I want the relationship to progress... She wants to keep it low key!
Q. Im extremely conflicted. I have recently met the girl of my dreams, she is kind, funny, smart, and i find myself more relaxed around her than most other people in my life. We share, interests, and i feel a GENUINE connection between us. She origi...
A. 18 May 2007: You seem to really like this woman. She told you the terms of the relationship and now it's bothering you. I can also understand why, including the other male friend. It's possible they are more that just friends, but it's out of your control.
... (read in full...)
Married 7 years, 1 child but someone else has captured my heart - do I stay for our child?
Q. For the ladies..... You are married for 6 or 7 years. You have one child, 9 years old, which is adopted. Your husband is a good man. Your marriage is best described as living with a roomate or friend because of the lack of intimacy. You meet som...
A. 18 May 2007: I don't think you stay in a loveless marriage. One problem that jumps out at me though is this. You seemd to have found someone else while you were still married. That makes me wonder how that happened if you were putting all your effort into the ... (read in full...)
I've just realised my BF is only 16 years younger than my parents! How do I tell them?
Q. Hiya I'm 20 from Reading and the man I'm dating is 27 from London. It's never bothered me before until I realized something.... He's only 16 years younger than my parents! My Mum is 43 and my dad is 45. I'm afraid to tell them about my boy...
A. 18 May 2007: Why is 16 the magic number? This seems to be just some barrier you've made in your head. It really doesn't make sense. What if it was 15..14..?... (read in full...)
My husband of 10 years is very loving but lately I don't want to go near him or have sex! What do I do?
Q. I have problem with my husband. Recently i don't want to go near him. He is very loving and i also love him very much but i dont know why i dont want to have sex. We have 3 kids. 10 years of our marriage life gone. I'm very worried it will cause a ...
A. 18 May 2007: You need to find out why you feel this way. It's not usually a healthy way for a marriage to flourish. What is bothering you? Can you talk to someone about it?... (read in full...)
SITE NEWS: Video introduction to the site from Andrew, site founder!
Q. Message from Andrew, site founder: (let me know your comments!)...
A. 18 May 2007: Great video...strange to actually see someone who's actually involved though. I liked it.... (read in full...)
Should I tell his wife he cheated on her?
Q. I was seeing a married man for 15 months. He is 46, 13 yrs my senior. Married 24 yrs, with 4 kids and 2 grandkids. I should say he was also my boss and sunday school teacher.After months of pushing him away he held on strong. Everyone knew except ...
A. 17 May 2007: If the anonymous poster sees this entry I'd like to ask her to contact me personally, if she feels comfortable doing so. I think we got off on the wrong foot. Perhaps I didn't explain myself well enough or you may have misunderstood some of what ... (read in full...)
Should I tell his wife he cheated on her?
Q. I was seeing a married man for 15 months. He is 46, 13 yrs my senior. Married 24 yrs, with 4 kids and 2 grandkids. I should say he was also my boss and sunday school teacher.After months of pushing him away he held on strong. Everyone knew except ...
A. 16 May 2007: I agree that you deserve respect as a human being. We all do ! My only point is this... go back to your original question, review it, and ask yourself what was the issue you were trying to clarify. You have expressed a degree of understanding in ... (read in full...)
Is hairdresser a good carreer if I want to meet boys?
Q. hi. i want to be a hairdresser but i cant decide whether to do an apprenticeship or not. because if i just go and work in a salon and go to college once a week training to be a hairdresser then i wouldnt meet many new people. i haven't got a ...
A. 16 May 2007: Do not choose your career based on meeting guys. AS a woman, you already have the power of meeting guys whenever you choose. This would seem like an extreme measure to achieve something you can already do on your own. Your line of work should be ... (read in full...)
I need some help as I've fallen for a man who is married with children
Q. I need some help as I've fallen for a man who is married with children I see him once a week usually I am a client of where he works. We've known each other for about two years on and off. I keep thinking of him and I saw him the other day When I ...
A. 16 May 2007: If you've just come out of a difficult long term relationship, why would you want to start another difficult relationship? This relationship would be created out of an affair. Would you really want to put his wife and kids through that much pain ... (read in full...)
Should I tell his wife he cheated on her?
Q. I was seeing a married man for 15 months. He is 46, 13 yrs my senior. Married 24 yrs, with 4 kids and 2 grandkids. I should say he was also my boss and sunday school teacher.After months of pushing him away he held on strong. Everyone knew except ...
A. 16 May 2007: You can paint whatever picture you choose. It's umderstandable that you feel the way you do...but...look at your original question, it's all about you. What you have to own is this, YOU made the bad choice. Just because you were with him sexually ... (read in full...)
We've been together 4 years but I have loving feelings for someone else! What do I do?
Q. I'm in a great long term relationship of 4 years with my boyfriend. He's sweet and loving but recently I've found myself having loving feelings towards someone else. I'm afraid that if i say something to my boyfriend he'll leave me and if i say ...
A. 15 May 2007: You will always meet others you're attracted to. That is normal and should be expected to happen. It's OK and doesn't make you bad nor should you feel ashamed. Since you're young and have already been with your guy 4 years, I can understand your ... (read in full...)
She has a ring -how do I find out if she's married or not?
Q. There is this girl at work who is really cool, we got cool with one another through a freind and been saying hello and talking to one another from that day. Now I don't want to mess things up but I really wanting to ask her out but thats when I ...
A. 15 May 2007: Why don't yo just continue talking to her about general things. Ask her what she does in her spare time. If she is involved with someone, his name will probably come up. When she tells you about her pastimes, you might get some information that ... (read in full...)
Should I tell his wife he cheated on her?
Q. I was seeing a married man for 15 months. He is 46, 13 yrs my senior. Married 24 yrs, with 4 kids and 2 grandkids. I should say he was also my boss and sunday school teacher.After months of pushing him away he held on strong. Everyone knew except ...
A. 15 May 2007: You're 33 and in Sunday school??? I thought Sunday school was for kids....Is this a real story? If it is, and yo go to Sunday school, you'd better spend a little more time studying. I think you've missed a couple lessons.
Aren't you a prize !!... (read in full...)
Married with young kids...feeling like I want to be with another man! Should I risk it?
Q. hi i,m feeling abit confused and don't know what to do. I'm nearly 23 and have been married for nearly 3 yrs and have two children 4 and 2 1/2. i met my husband when i was 17 and have only been with him since. my problem is that i keep thinking ...
A. 13 May 2007: You should not leave your family. Notice I didn't say husband. If you decide to cheat, or leave, then it should be you alone. That means leaving the kids with him as he IS settled and knows where he's at in life. I bet that doesn't sound nice ... (read in full...)
It feels as if we're a couple even though we're just friends. I slept with someone else, should I tell him?
Q. I am in a limbo-state with a man who lives on the other side of the country. I met him during a business trip last year. Because of our stressful work schedules, we are not able to see each other more than once or twice a year. We are both ...
A. 13 May 2007: The fact you're in a state of limbo and that there is no real boundaries or terms in place, lets you off the hook. The fact you feel guilty tells you that you do have feelings for the guy.
Let this go but try to define what your long distance... (read in full...)
Who should I choose, my husband or my mate?
Q. Recently I found out that my husband of twelve years has had an affair with my brother's wife for just over a year. My brother and i were devastated by the news and trying to work through our marriages. Problem is that only a couple of days ago ...
A. 12 May 2007: Your husband was wrong and you know it. You too will be wrong, if you choose the same path. How can this other guy be "in love" with you? You've never even dated. That is crazy. You sound like you're about to jump out of the frying pan and into ... (read in full...)
Is it possible that he really is going to leave her for me...?
Q. I am involved with a married man who claims he is leaving his wife. He has told other people this as well (friends, family). We spend a good bit of time together (3-4 nights a week) and talk on the phone a lot. This was only supposed to be about ...
A. 12 May 2007: I agree that you should not be involved with this man. I disagree that you should make him choose though. I feel this way because you don't deserve him in the first place. If you're going to say anything to him, it should be...."We're through. I ... (read in full...)
Its all collapsing, how do I know if I'm still in love with my husband and what should I do?
Q. I have been married to my husband for 7 years and have 2 kids age 3 and 4. When we first got together it was amazing but over the last few years things have changed. I have changed. I was happy with my life and now i am not. I feel really bad as my ...
A. 11 May 2007: Stop everything and get help. You sound as if you're a little depressed. Your husband can't battle to save the marriage or help the situation if he doesn't even know he's in a fight.
You're hitting a bump in the road of life and marriage... (read in full...)
His family excluded me for no reason, now they have suddenly invited me again and I want to snub them, but my boyfriend wants me to go with him.
Q. Dear cupid, My boyfriend and i have been together a couple of years and are very close. I was accepted by his family and invited to everything, and suddenly, for no reason, his family stopped inviting to any family gathering. They simply e...
A. 10 May 2007: Based on your account of what happened, they were nit picking about silly things. It sounds to me like there is something else brewing under the surface or perhaps the was in the past.
As your boyfriends parents what happened and tell them you... (read in full...)
His family excluded me for no reason, now they have suddenly invited me again and I want to snub them, but my boyfriend wants me to go with him.
Q. Dear cupid, My boyfriend and i have been together a couple of years and are very close. I was accepted by his family and invited to everything, and suddenly, for no reason, his family stopped inviting to any family gathering. They simply e...
A. 10 May 2007: This is an interesting question. You should have really included the "reason" they gave for excluding you. Since we're only hearing your version of what happened it difficult, for me at least, to respond. Myabe they had a reason that was ... (read in full...)
We've been having an affair for 5 years but we won't leave his family for me - how do I move on?
Q. Help, I'm in love with a man whos 18 years older than me (I'm 28 now) whos married (unhappily) and has 2 kids (both now over 20 years old). We've been together for 5 and a half years. I understand he can't leave her because it will hurt so many ...
A. 9 May 2007: You paint a picture that is aimed at justifying poor choices, yours and his. All the feelings this affair brings you are really irrelevant because they were never yours to enjoy in the first place.
I'll use this scenario, from another reply ag... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't like me getting attention from other people!
Q. my boyfriend doesn't like me getting attention from people especially guys because my brother is a famous football player...and some of the guys who idolise my brother asked me for an autograph..help i know hes jealous he told me himself but hes ...
A. 9 May 2007: You need to stop this before it goes any further. This is the beginning of a controlling relationship. You must realize that if you give in to his weakness, he'll begin to see it as justification of his fears. He'll demand it and get angry when ... (read in full...)
In an affair and would love him to leave and be with me... how?
Q. hi this is crazy i got myself an affair...20 years age gap me being the young one. we are both very into each other but i dont know how much longer i can carry on. my feelings for him drive me crazy and snap for him. this was not planned or thought ...
A. 9 May 2007: I really like my neighours car....can you help me figure out a way to steal it. I know he really likes it and worked overtime to get it, but "I" want it. Afterall, it's all about me and my needs and desires............
This must be a joke. Y... (read in full...)
I cheated with my ex bf's brother! Should I tell him what I did?
Q. ok so. my boyfriend and i broke up a little while ago. things weren't working out because he lies and has cheated a while ago and never knows when to tell me anything. just not trustworthy i guess you can say. but anyways i went to this social and ...
A. 8 May 2007: You started out by saying negative things about your boyfriend. You finished by putting yourself in the same category. You probably don't love him that much or you wouldn't have had sex with his brother. You crossed a line. I'd move on.... (read in full...)
Should I stay with my BF who is close to perfect or go for the sexy music student who writes me songs?
Q. I'm really confused me and this guy I've been seeing for a year and a half (lets call him Eric) is great, i love him loads and he means the world to me he does everything in his power to make me happy. He really takes care of me. But I'm still very ...
A. 8 May 2007: What you're feeling is normal and will happen again in your life. You're also feeling flattered by the attention from the song writer. It's really inappropriate for him to be giving your such songs. You're accepting them because it's flattering. ... (read in full...)
i've got a bit of a dilemma because I have fallen for a guy who is older than me by 7 years, married and who has a kid
Q. Hi, i've got a bit of a dilemma because I have fallen for a guy who is older than me by 7 years, married and who has a kid. We both really like each other but I don't know whether to take this relationship further. We haven't actually done anything ...
A. 7 May 2007: You say you haven't actually done anything yet. Yes you have. You've played the part of a flirt and helped him in being morally bankrupt. You do know what you're up to so it is a form of mental cheating, even if you haven't crossed the line ... (read in full...)
OMG... we didn't use a condom, could I be pregnant!!!???
Q. my boyfriend and i had sex today and when finished he went to clean up and throw the condom away and he came back and we just laid together in the bed. after a few minutes we started making out and one thing led to another and his penis was inside ...
A. 7 May 2007: What's causing you to worry is the fact that you cold be pregnant. The odds are you're not but the truth is, it's possible. What can you do? Have a pregnancy test as soon as it's feasible. There is nothing magic or out of the ordinary about your ... (read in full...)
Our sex drives are different, I sought attention elsewhere, nothing happend sexually, but now she doest trust me!!!
Q. Been married to a gorgeous girl for 3 years and we have a 6 month old daughter. I love my wife very much but we have very different sex drives. Mine is high and hers is low. When we don't have sex for a length of time I feel undesirable and I crave ...
A. 1 May 2007: I understand your feelings. Getting your reassurance from a gay man is interesting though. I guess, in the end, it doesn't matter where it comes from.
Some people will tell you you have to learn to handle her low sex drive by "just getting ... (read in full...)
How can I make our sex life more interesting!?
Q. Has anyone any advice? Been with my bloke for three years and the sex is really boring. He isn't turned on by sexy underwear, i been and tried that one. He just cannot cum with oral sex. We end up in the missionary position all the time. I ask him ...
A. 28 April 2007: Keria seems to be very open minded and most of it revolves around the fact that being monogamous is not so important. You might have that frame of mind but you are in the vast majority. Encouraging people to be unfaithful is really not the best ... (read in full...)
He slept with his ex, Im still with him, I love him, But should I stay!?
Q. I've been dating this man for 14 months, I thought everything was going well. until 3 weeks ago he told me he went to visit his son from his former gf who only lets him see the child when she wants to, and he works double shifts he can only go when ...
A. 27 April 2007: What I find difficult to understand are the qualities you say your man has compared to the deed he did. This other women doesn't sound like a real prize but your man still jumped into bed with her. If she's so rotten, how did he get from the front ... (read in full...)
I finally found a man thats interested, not gay, and not a jerk... But... Hes married!!
Q. All of my life I have had the worst luck with men. I fall for men who are either gay or not interested, jerks or clueless. I met a guy three months ago and we instantly clicked. We get along really well, he's extremely cute, we make each other ...
A. 27 April 2007: Well if this guy was interested then he would be a JERK. He would be clueless because of the pain he would cause other people. Because you would be involeved, you too would be a jerk and clueless. You've said you don't care about morality because ... (read in full...)
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