A
male
age
51-59,
*loho1009
writes:Hello, my name is Rob. I’m a guy, who needs a woman's opinion and advice. I know this might sound crazy but I met this woman while driving to work. We both travel a major roadway for about a 40-mile drive. We have been waving and saying good morning to each other for the past 2-and 1/2 years, but have never stopped to talk. We would see each other around the same time about 3 times a week. She would even pull over and get gas about a 1/4 ways through the trip on some mornings. I bought her a card around Christmas and had it in my car until around April when I saw her pull into the gas station in front of me. At that moment, I pulled in next to her and with some fumbling around; I gave her the Christmas card, which had my cell # and an invitation to go out for a drink. (I know a Christmas card in April) It seemed like harmless flirtation and I wanted to see if what I was seeing was correct. She than called me from her job a day later, told me her first name, how sweet the card was, and she really appreciated the jester, but she had a Boyfriend. Of course, I being nervous did not have a lot to say, but said, “Well you have my # now, if you change your mind please call me”. She in turn said I will, and see you on the road and we hung up. Now with the help of modern technology, (caller id on my cell). I now know the name of the company where she works and I was thinking of sending an email to her. Do you think this is boarder line stalking?? Should I try to adjust my driving time to sync up with her again and see if I can chat at the gas stations? We have seen each other and still wave hi, but not as much as before, since I gave her the card¦ I just don't want to make a bigger idiot out of myself than I have already done. Thanks for your help Rob from Delaware
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christmas, flirt, stalking Reply to this Question
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male
reader, rloho1009 +, writes (13 June 2007):
rloho1009 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Wow! 5 don't persue vs 2 yes' I need to thank all of you. Advice well given. I wanna chat more with the folks with yes's of course. I will give an update with what comes about. I'm going to see if she stops at the same gas station as me, see what type of response i get. Email is out!!!!!.
Thanks Again!!!
A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (13 June 2007):
 It is border line stalking. She made it hard to read by replying to your card. It was nice she responded. You did get her attention, but if a stranger approached my wife, she'd owe him no phone call. Sometimes people try to be extra friendly when approached by someone who is interested in them, out of surprise and courtesy.(it's flattering) It sends a mixed message to the interested person though since they can't figure out if the other person is just nice or actually interested.
I really wouldn't want my wife to reply to a stranger. It would tell me that she enjoyed the attention. Enjoying the attention in the moment is one thing but following up on it would bother me. She made her point, as did you.
You planted the seed. She is aware of it. She is in a relationship. If she's interested in you in the future, free, and makes it known, try again.
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A
female
reader, Variety  +, writes (13 June 2007):
 Leave her alone. She has your number and the offer of a date if she wants it. She has waved to you and chatted a bit. So what? She will have done far more with her boyfriend and will have feelings for him. Why would she leave him for someone else. If you bump into her fine, chat and see how she is. Seredipity will work it out. If not then it was not meant to be. She can get in touch.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2007): I notice that you found out the name of her company by caller ID; she did not give it to you. She seems like a nice woman because she called you. I think you should respect her wish not to pursue a relationship while she is dating someone else. It is possible that relationship will end and she will give you a call. In the meantime, keep looking for someone who interests you and is available.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2007): You gave it your best shot, and you were rewarded with a response that was (from another guy's perspective) entirely non-humiliating. Be proud and build on that, not by pursuing this one any further, but by looking elsewhere with more confidence. Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2007): Instead of sending her a personal e-mail that she may be embarassed about receiving at work (e-mail is never private at work), send her a small bouquet of flowers with a card attached saying that you have tickets to such and such for so and so at this time and please rsvp by this date. (Period, say nothing about would you like to go, close the deal and be assumptive) Include your contact inforomation of course, and sign it, guy on the road, and your name....seems more romantic to me, and women love romance even in the beginning, it is not stalking, you did not intrude on her private e-mail without her giving it to you, she let you know where she works, and you did not show up with the flowers, and she does not have to call you if she doesn't want to, and she can always decline the invitation, but if she does, ask her if that was a bad night for her, and renegotiate a dinner after work or something like that.....
I would not expend a whole lot of energy trying to sync up with her anywhere, you now know how to contact her so put yourself out there, take a chance and see what develops!
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A
female
reader, fishdish +, writes (13 June 2007):
 I'd move on, she said she had a boyfriend and she has her number if she were interested. if she were still interested she'd probably still be enthusiastic about wavin to you. lastly, I'd be creeped out by an email. move on, dear sir.
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A
female
reader, Everfall23 +, writes (13 June 2007):
I'd try to sync up with her at the gas station. It's not staking because it doesnt sound as though you have an "obsession" with her. It just seems as though you want to get to know her better.
The e-mail idea is do-able but risky because some women don't think guys can be so decisive in their search so it might freak her out a bit.
Plus, if you go through with the gas station idea, this will give you both a chance to chit chat & maybe see if she's still with that boyfriend.
If you do though, be subtle. Ask it mid-way through the convo as if a subject just reminded you of asking. And one more thing- go on a day when you're almost outta gas, it'll make you stay longer as you fill up; hence, more chatting time. Good luck on your pursuit!
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