A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello everyone, I have been dating my boyfriend for a year and a half now, rough patch but we get through it all.i have keys to his place, and yesterday I dont know why I snooped around. In one drawer iour bedroom, I saw a box of condoms. We dont wear condoms. I dint confront him about this yesterday, I didnt know how to. Fact that I snooped.How do i go a out this? Thanks.
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female
reader, Keeley345  +, writes (25 March 2015):
It could be an old box from way back when or a recent box. Maybe he keeps condoms handy just in case you want to use them. No harm in being prepared.
Has he said or done anything to make you think he's cheating or is going to? I know seeing this box of condoms has spooked you but before you assume the worst see if there is any OTHER indication he's cheating or will.
A
female
reader, Keeley345 +, writes (25 March 2015):
It could be an old box from way back when or a recent box. Maybe he keeps condoms handy just in case you want to use them. No harm in being prepared.
Has he said or done anything to make you think he's cheating or is going to? I know seeing this box of condoms has spooked you but before you assume the worst see if there is any OTHER indication he's cheating or will.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (25 March 2015):
 I'd break up immediately with a guy who did that to me.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (24 March 2015):
 You have been dating for 18 months and already had a rough patch? What was that rough patch about? Perhaps that rough patch thing was what triggered you to do the search of the apartment?
If the condoms are in a drawer of a room you seem to have called "our bedroom" [your spell check seems to be off] often then just open the drawer one day and ask him 'why are there condoms in here?'
But that 'rough patch' description seems to be key here. So what was happening that what should be the honeymoon phase of a relationship was a 'rough patch'?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2015): Hi OP.I firmly believe that if you make the choice to snoop, it is because your gut is telling you that something is wrong.I do not believe it is wrong to snoop if you catch a cheater.If you do not trust them anyway and feel you need proof, go for it. Snoop!That way you know for sure that you can kick their ass to the curb in a NY minute! And never look back!This is not about you snooping. It is about HIM CHEATING.I do not think you even need to confront him about this one.JUST LEAVE.Save yourself a hell of a lot of future emotional turmoil and heartache!Sorry but there is no reason for him to have condoms if you do not use them with him! Only reason is CHEATING.Say bye bye....
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (24 March 2015):
You BROKE into his house while he was gone and rifled through his drawers? You're kidding, right?? He extended trust to you by giving you his keys, and you broke it.
You didn't check the expiration date on those condoms?? On the Trojan site, there's a tutorial on how long condoms can last (up to 4 years if stored properly), there's an expiration date on the box (usually 3 years from date of manufacture), and a string of numbers on the box that talk about what day of what year they were manufactured:
(Copied from the Trojan site)
06-2013 DA0156GG3
How to read:
The expiration date in this case is June 2013. The first two letters represent the plant. The first numeric digit represents the year of manufacture. The next three digits represent the day of the year of manufacture. Any remaining letters or numbers represent the dip line, foiling line, and the testing line. In the example above, the condom was produced on the 156th day of 2010.
You have no idea of whether or not he bought those condoms while he was first seeing you or beforehand, and you already committed the crime of snooping.
I think you need to deal with your trust issues, because in trying to catch him breaking your trust, you broke his.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2015): Well, one thing you do know. He practices safe-sex if he's cheating.
You snooped around, I think you deserve to find something for all your effort. It defies logic you'd be upset about him owning condoms. You didn't find a used one, and you have no idea how long they've been there. You don't insist that he uses them; so what's your beef?
If you've hit a rough-patch in your relationship; maybe you ought to use what you know by insisting that he use them with you from now on.
Go ahead and let him know you snooped around his place, and found some condoms. Maybe that will be the nail in the coffin of a dying relationship; and you'll both go your separate ways, before you get infected or pregnant.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2015): Every single person has condoms in their room... don't they?The old box you forget in an old drawer somewhere for years and can't use anymore because you've kept them past the expiry date?If you are worried, then count them then go out of town for a week or be unavailble for a week or two. Then recount them next time you visit him.If you ask him he'll probably come up with some half baked story about how they got there. Or he'll tell you the honest truth but you won't believe that he bought them years ago and he hasn't cheated.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (24 March 2015):
 So curiosity got the best of you, huh? And now you are left holding that HUGE pink elephant that you don't dare talk to him about...
The suggestion to ask him to use a condom, is not a bad way to go about it.
But the grown up and mature thing would be to say hey I was looking around your place and found condoms what's up with that? Which.... would be rather impossible if you didn't "just" snoop a little but actually went through his personal belongings.... If that is the case, ask to use a condom.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (24 March 2015):
 What makes you think he recently bought the condoms? They were probably there from before you even met him. Work on your snooping, thats a serious issue.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2015): Suggest to him that next time you two have sex he should use a condom so you can see how it feels. Then see what he says like "oh I have some" or "I gotta go get some". If he has some you a cleans and it means nothing. If he gets some ask him to see. If it's the same box then good. If not It should give you a hint whether that box is for special purposes not involving you. Then you becone more observant if you think there is more evidence.
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A
male
reader, ArtfulToker +, writes (24 March 2015):
 Openly look around his room when he's in the room with you and let him see you discover the condoms, then ask about them.
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