A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My mom just told me that a couple of months ago she was sitting at a park relaxing in her vehicle before reporting to work and thought she saw my boyfriend pull in and get out with another woman. She said she wasn't for sure but that she thought it looked like him and she looked several times but still couldn't be sure. She told me that looking back on it when she left she didn't think it was but that the guy did remind her of my boyfriend. She said she looked when she drove by and the guy was looking in her direction as well. She said she kept thinking "that looks like J" and then thinking "I don't think that's him".She said they were in a grey car (which he's had access to) and the woman had short, cropped blonde hair and looked to be in her 40's or older. She said the 2 got out and started walking over towards the trail. She said she didn't mention it back then because she really didn't think anything of it at the time. I have no idea who the woman would be even if it was him. My bf has never been with a blonde, nor a woman with short hair, as he's attracted to dark/red long hair and that's what he's always been with. Which doesn't mean anything, I know, but I wouldn't have the slightest clue who it would be. I don't know of any woman in his life that's even been blonde, let alone with short hair so idk. And he's never been with anyone older than him, always younger.My mind has started going crazy because I remember one night my bf, at random, asked me how my mom had been. I said, "idk I haven't talked to her why" and he told me he thought he saw her a week back at the dollar store one evening. I told my mom and she said she hadn't even been to the dollar store but he may have thought he saw her.Am I overreacting here? Does this sound like I need to be worried? My bf has asked me at random times how my family has been but that, mixed with a grey car, now has me paranoid. I keep thinking he asked me because maybe it really was him and he saw my mom looking at him. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (23 March 2015):
 how old and how blonde is the owner of the car he is borrowing?
a FRIEND'S MOTHER'S car.... an older woman.
maybe she needed a lift... if it even was him.
after all we all have dopplegangers...
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2015): Not really sure how your mum could tell that this woman was in her 40s or over when she couldn't even tell if it was your boyfriend or not... sounds like dodgy information to me. They must have been walking together and so why did she have no trouble gaging more info about the woman but struggled iwth the man , I find it completely unreliable.
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A
female
reader, RubyBirtle  +, writes (21 March 2015):
Why is your Mum telling you now as opposed to when it first happened? Has something else happened that has made you doubt your husband that prompted her to volunteer this (mis)information?
It all sounds very vague to me which makes me think you're making mountains out of molehills
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2015): OP here.. My mom is very trustworthy so if she tells me something with certainty then I know she's being honest but she just wasn't 100% sure about this. She said the guy looked like my boyfriend and how he would dress/walk. She said she kept looking thinking that looked like him but when she left she said she didn't think it was. She told me before I hung up the phone last night not to worry because it may have not even been him but rather someone who favored my bf.
1) His car got totaled back in August so since then he's been using his friend's mother's car when he needs it, which is an older small grey car. I find that she said that color specifically strange.
2) My bf is from TN and I'm from VA. My bf and I are 99% of the time in TN when we're together. We never really come to my part of town because all the restaurants/stores are in his part. Everyone knows him there, but hardly anyone would know him in the area where my mom thought she saw him. There are 3 parks nearby where he lives (we've been to them all), and he possibly came to the one closest to me, so if it was him, no one would know him. He would have just happened to run into my mom by accident. He also wouldn't have ever thought my mom would have been there. She sits all over that town drinking coffee and what not before going in to work.
3) Almost every time my bf and I have went "walking the trail" it was to find a random place to have quick sex. She said they were walking towards the trail. And this would have been in possibly Jan where the weather was cold/cool, so I imagine too many people weren't out walking at the time.
I asked her why she didn't call me when it happened and she said that she actually tried and couldn't get a hold of me and then after that she just never thought anything else of it, until I brought him up in conversation last night. I haven't gotten to talk to my bf yet to ask him about it. When this incident took place, my bf and I were having sex and spending time together like we always were, so there was nothing to give me the impression he'd be seeing someone else. But this doesn't sit right with me, either. My mind is in overdrive.
And, if I'm not mistaken, at around the same time she says this happened is when my bf, randomly, asked how my mom was doing. I said "idk, i haven't talked to her, why?" and he said he thought he saw her at the dollar store one evening. Sometime after he asked me that, she did call my house one evening and after missing her call I thought to myself I bet she was calling to tell me she saw J at the store. I didn't think it was a big deal at the time if she saw him, however the whole thing seems weird to me now. I've met all of his family/friends that are a part of his life and NO ONE has short blonde hair. There's also no reason for him to be out, at a park, with another female so I can't think of an "okay reason" for him to be doing so.
I just find the car and him asking about my mom like that just too coincidental. He just asked about my dad not too long ago so maybe this is just messing with my mind and now I'm looking for any hidden meaning or clue.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (21 March 2015):
 He doesn't OWN a gray car, and it doesn't sound like the description of an existing woman in his life. Your mom may not like him, or she may have her own trust issues.
Then again, your mom may have seen him, but it was with an aunt or clergy or something completely platonic. So you have to ask - why would he use a car that isn't his? Everyone if they try hard enough can get access to a gray car. The question is - why would he NEED one, and if he were having an affair, is he that intellectually challenged enough to cavort in public right where people would know him? Because many cheaters are smart enough...to NOT to.
Otherwise, unless he has other behavior that is suspect or he's cheated before, you don't really have anything but rumor and innuendo to go on.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2015): There is too much uncertainty here. Your mom "thought" she saw him, and he thought he saw her under different circumstances. Does your mother even go to a dollar store?
She thought she saw him with another woman. Ask her what he was wearing. If she can't give you details, what are you upset about?
I was in a 28-year relationship. I've heard the the same accounts from people that they thought they saw him with...
He's a lawyer. He was with clients or colleagues. I go by evidence that I find myself. Hearsay and uncertain accounts from people have ruined lives, destroyed relationships, obliterated careers, and caused all sorts of discord. Either she knows for sure or she doesn't. Your mother shouldn't say squat unless she knew what the frack she was talking about. She doesn't know your boyfriend when she sees him?
Paranoia? For what?!! There is a 50/50 chance she's wrong.
Fess-up mom, or shut-up! I hate when people play games that could cause problems in my relationship.
If your mother wasn't sure, she should have kept her trap shut!
My partner was a lawyer. One thing I've learned, is to judge on nothing but solid, indisputable, and undeniable evidence. Your mother may have been right; but "maybe" isn't good enough.
Ask your mother again if she is absolutely certain. She may be sparing your feelings.
I can only say this. Convict your lover on what you know, not what you suspect. Stop playing games and tell him what your mother said, for crying out loud! He has a right to give you an explanation in his own defense. If it has holes in it? Your mother was right.
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