A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am getting married in a few weeks. It's kinda rushed because I am pregnant. My man lives in Germany and is relocating. I have pretty much paid and planned for the entire wedding. He promise to pay me back.I feel sad that this is happening to me but also I am happy we love each other and are a perfect match well ofcourse besides the life status. I don't want this to cloud my mind at all because he is about to be the father of my baby and husband. I pray when he moves here he gets a good job and can provide for his family. I do not doubt his ability to provide I just hope it happens sooner.Now I am looking at rings. I am confused as to how this goes. Because once again he has asked me to get anything. Is the bride responsible for getting the wedding bands?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2015): The way we did it is that she bought hers and I bought mine, as the guys usually ends up being more expensive...
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2015): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all the advice. I guess I'll go ahead and buy both rings. He gave me a nice engagement ring before we ever found out about the baby on the way. He was saving for our wedding so the idea of a rushed wedding was my idea so I don't mind paying. I have enough savings and support from my family to pull this off.
He is not entirely broke but knows after relocating he may not have a job so it's wise for him to work at least 6 months double paid work and transfer his money here for good use while he's out of work.
Yes I do agree once married, it's our money. His payback will probably go to my parents in kind in various others ways.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (22 March 2015):
 My husband bought my engagement and wedding ring (the wrap went with the e-ring so he paid for them together).
I bought his wedding ring. I had conversations about wedding rings, got him sized, and kinda saw his reactions to men's w-rings when we shopped, so he didn't see his actual ring until our wedding when I put his on him. His reaction to it meant a lot to me at our wedding.
Some people do it where the husband buys the woman the engagement ring, and then they use a joint wedding expense account and then buy the wedding bands from that joint pot.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (21 March 2015):
 No, she does not.
Traditionally, it's the man responsibility to buy both rings. It is also acceptable if they are both donated as a wedding present by the best man .
Or, the modern thing is that it's the last exchange of gift as fiancees, so you buy his and he buys yours , which means each of you is paying his own , basically, only it's more romantic.
All this though, is sheer theory and does not apply to your case, since the groom is totally broke anyway, and you have been so far paying for ALL the wedding costs as you have no other option , so might as well add the rings, they won't be the straw which broke the camel's back, I guess.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (21 March 2015):
 Bands are not what make a marriage
I bought my husband a promise ring when we got engaged that he wears as his wedding band. We did my rings together as I used my mother's old band and diamond for the primary parts of the setting and he paid for the difference although by the time we were buying this ring it was not his money and my money but OUR money.
since your fiance has "promised to pay you back" have you two discussed how the household finances will be handled?
some couples manage to do his and her incomes and keep them separate. I don't care for that. My husband and I combine both our paychecks into one account and it's OUR money. I never PAY my husband BACK since i can't owe him anything. what's mine is his and what's his is mine. ALL expenses other than day to day things like lunch or grocery shopping or paying monthly bills are discussed. I pay the bills he does the budgeting. all information about all our money is available to both of us. As is Access.
And for what it's worth for those that think I BENEFIT more because the man makes more money... not in this case.
I owned our home. WE own it now
I make about 45k more than he does. His money is our play money... mine pays our bills.
for proper wedding expense etiquette here's the knot:
https://www.theknot.com/content/wedding-budget-who-pays-for-what this covers it all but in case you don't want to look at it:
Rings
Bride and/or her family pay for groom's ring.
Groom and/or his family pay for both of the bride's rings.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2015): 'I have pretty much paid and planned for the entire wedding'
You are expecting a baby, surely frivolously spending on a wedding when a) you are not loaded b) he doesn't have a job lined up c) you're going on maternity leave soon is not the best idea. Marriage simply requires your two signatures and your wwitnesses, which costs nothing.
Your baby will thank you for putting this money in his/her college trust fund instead.
You love each other and you are having a baby and getting married, this is a wonderful time for. Yes your situation is challenging but you are making things unnecessarily complicated by worrying about buying wedding bands when quite frankly, this is not the most sensible use of your limited resources.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2015): Guy should buy both of the rings, yours and his.
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