A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have to see him all the time for the next few weeks too and it's going to be awkward :( Me and my friends are travelling in Ireland and we're staying in a backpackers hostel for two weeks. Last night, we met a group of young guys who were also British and started chatting to them. I noticed one of them smiling at me and looking me up and down/in my direction, so I shook hands and introduced myself and kept smiling at him. I also noticed him staring at me when I was talking to the other people in the group (and once he jumped and looked away!) though he was quiet so didn't talk much. Anyway one of the girls in our group got to know one of the guys there really well and she told him I liked the guy in their group and to keep it a secret. But the guy in their group said that the person I tried flirting with had a girlfriend back home and "maybe he has a type" because we look similar and are both blonde. Obviously I didnt know that.I feel really guilty now and to make things worse we are all staying in the same hostel till the Sunday after next. Our groups want to do a lot of stuff together so I have to see him loads :( Should I just blank him/be stand off ish if I see him again so as not to give him the wrong impression? Really thought he was flirting with me but I was wrong :(
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (24 March 2015):
 You didn't do anything wrong. I'm sure he wasn't wearing a "I have a GF" sign.
BUT now that you know he has a GF, I'd be polite but not engage in any flirtation, you can still chat and be polite.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2015): What have you done wrong? This guy gave you obvious signals, he is the one with a girlfriend and so he is the one who should be feeling awkward about this. You just carry on being you, but know that should he try anything he has a gf and not to get involved - if he did it would just show he's not such a nice quiet guy after all. Maybe you reminded him of his gf and he is crap at hiding his attraction.
You don't have anything to feel awkward about, just carry on having fun with your friends and getting to know new people.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2015): You didn't know he had a girlfriend. Someone told you he did now you continue on. It really is okay. Just act normally and you will begin to feel better. I don't think it is anything to worry about.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (23 March 2015):
 As of now, no harm, no foul, no embarrassment! Now that you know, then you just do like WiseOwle said, and treat him as though he has a girlfriend. Be friendly like you would another girl, but just no more flirting. Easy as pie. If he has a girlfriend and is faithful, he won't try to flirt with you. If he does, remind him that he has a girlfriend back home.
If you're going to Ireland, chances are you'll have no shortage of SINGLE guys who will be 10 times more fun to flirt with, and this other guy will be quickly forgotten!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2015): Now you know he has a girlfriend, and you treat him like a guy who has a girlfriend. You should only feel guilty if you flirted knowing he had a girlfriend, not if you didn't. You're not psychic, and he's not married.
He was quiet, because he didn't want to make his flirtations obvious to the other guys. Well, I don't think it will be that hard to get on with things as planned; because the trip isn't centered around you two. Now is the time to summon some maturity, suck it up, and enjoy yourself. He was not the reason you ladies came to Ireland.
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A
female
reader, RubyBirtle +, writes (23 March 2015):
Just pretend it didn't happen and act normal around him but as if you don't fancy him. No need to be particularly aloof or stand-offish - just don't flirt anymore.
It sounds like you just chatted with him and didn't come on too strong so there's no need for embarrassment. You won't be the first person who's flirted a little with someone who turns out to be unavailable. And it's only embarrassing because YOU know you were flirting - he might have thought you were just being friendly.
Do stuff in the group if you like. Don't blank the guy - just don't flirt with him and stop considering him as a potential.
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