A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my fiance for two years, yes fiance, I was so sure I loved him more then anything and when Im with him hes all I care about, but when Im gone from him and one of my friends(male) comes around and drops hints he likes me...I feel the same when we chat I giggle and he makes me feel amazing, My fiance is usually gloomy and never makes it easy to be happy when he gets that way...is that why I feel like maybe I have more then one love? Is it because Im being selfish and want to have a more happy go lucky love?
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female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (1 July 2010):
 It's perfectly normal to have a crush - hey, when you get married, you might have crushes. But, you need to make a decision and you need to make it now - before you're married and can't turn back.
If you love your fiancé, and even though he's gloomy - he's the one for you, you need to commit full force. And while other guys might be a little cheerier, you need to remember all the reasons why your fella makes you so much happier... if you're thinking that there are guys that will make you happier in life, and in marriage, you really need to reevaluate if this relationship is right for you.
Think about it, but don't keep up with this flirting and having your friend over when the fiancé isn't home. You're going to get yourself into a situation... play with fire and you'll get burned, know what I'm saying?
Take some time to think about whether or not your fiancé is the guy who is going to make you the happiest in your life. If he's not, break it off. Good luck!
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (1 July 2010):
 It sounds to me as though it's dawning on you that your fiance isn't the right man for you. Be honest about that and break up with him before you launch into an affair with the new man.
Just because you've been with someone for many years doesn't mean that they are the perfect one for you. If you cannot face a life of his pessimism and gloom, then don't continue the relationship.
I know it's hard to break up with someone but it's better to do it BEFORE anything else happens with this new guy, otherwise you are going to look very much like a cheater. Not a good rep to have, right?
It's okay to want a different kind of love, it's not okay to lead someone on or tell lies.
Good luck.
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A
male
reader, GrimmReality +, writes (1 July 2010):
 You need to get a grip.
You are in a fog and I dare say that an engagement is a dress rehearsal for a life together.
Relationships take a lot of work. You are simply justifying the feelings this guy stirs in you,
He isn't much of a friend nor are you much of a Fiance to allow this doofus to drop hints and for you to keep accepting them.
If you are engaged that means YOU ARE OFF LIMITS.
You think your Fiance does not know what is going on? You are justifying this behavior by asking rhetorical questions
You have a boundary problem
This means at this time you are not ready for a marriage to anyone.
I suggest since you have come here that you probably already are in the throes of an emotional affair at best. I suggest you take a long look at the cost benefit ratio of your conundrum.
You are setting yourself up to cheat and if you do you will affect more than just yourself.
Think about it.
You will affect your relationship with your Fiance for sure, his family, your family, many of your friends and this is just for starters.
How would you feel if the shoe were on the other foot?
My suggestion to you is to take a long hard look at yourself and try to figure out if you really think you are mature enough to be married at this point in your life. You are playing with fire if you run with this.
I am harsh on you because what you are doing happened to me over 20 years ago. 3 weeks before my wedding I came home to find my fiance having sex with one of my friends in my bed.
The result of walking in on that colored every action I have taken in the 23 years since it happened. You may not want to hear this...you NEED to hear this.
Think real hard
And do the RIGHT THING
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