A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So, I'm 16 and I've had a boyfriend for quite a while now. Things are good we care about each other and everything but here's the thing, I recently got a job about 3 months ago and since then I've made good friends with a boy who works there. We text a lot and have hung out a couple of times. I really enjoy talking to him. We go to the movies and do any stuff like that but we've only kissed once. He's kind of quite. Anyways, although I have a boyfriend I don't feel guilty at all about this and honestly don't see anything wrong because of the fact that I am still so young. What do you think? Is there such thing as cheating for kids? I know cheating is cheating but I like I said I'm not feeling bad but I kind of feel as if I should... I'd never be doing this if I were married or anything but thats not the case and I'm just still so young to be 'tied' down to one person. But breaking up isnt an option either because we've been together a long time and I just couldn't do it
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female
reader, sunnycomet  +, writes (28 June 2010):
 Yes you are young and you want to have fun. But you are also in a relationship. Unless your bf understands it is open then this is cheating and is wrong.
Tell your boyfriend that this is an open relationship and what to expect.
Just because you are 16 does not give you the right to use someone and break their heart.
Let us know when you tell your boyfriend that you want an open relationship and what his answer is. Also tell him what you have been up to.
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (28 June 2010):
 I thought that kids became aware that telling lies is wrong somewhere around age 8 or so.
Of course you're too young to be tied down. But you're not too old to live life with integrity and tell the truth. Perhaps you owe your boyfriend the courtesy of letting him decide if it's an 'open' relationship, so that he can choose to date and kiss other girls as well, that would be fair, wouldn't it?
If you are lining up the rationale to explain your actions when your boyfriend discovers them, "too young" isn't going to cut it, I'm afraid. It will be just as hurtful to him.
Look, you're a typical teenager, more or less only able to look at life from your own narrow perspective. That's isn't a crime, it isn't surprising. I have challenged the teens who ask questions like this to write the question from the other person's side. Not one has ever managed to do it. Not one.
Being able to see things from the other person's perspective is a huge indication of maturity. So let's see. Can you write this question from your boyfriend's point of view, assuming he's discovered that you feel you are 'too young' to be completely faithful to him?
I know where my money is.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (28 June 2010):
If you think you're right to have a boyfriend and cheat on him, then tell him what you've been up to. I think you'll find that will cause him to leave. Seriously, if you want fun, let your boyfriend go. Your reputation as a cheat will stick with you. And you'll have hurt your boyfriend. Let him go, and have your fun. But don't think your age will excuse you later on. It won't. I know girls my age who cheated on boyfriends during their teens, and here we are several years later and not one of them has a decent boyfriend, and all of them have bad reputations. Don't underestimate how important it is to keep your reputation clean. There is no harm in you having fun, but you are cheating on a boyfriend who will be hurt, and when you get found out, it will have a very long effect.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (28 June 2010):
 I guess it all depends from what the one particular person feels about it. Does he support your position that you are entitled to have fun, or do you have to sneak behind is back ? And is he allowed to have is fun too and experiment with various other girls , or the " I am just a kid " applies only to yourself ? ...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2010): Girl unlike you I have lived a lifetime and know when someone is spouting bull.If you don't think its wrong tell your boyfriend.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks very much everyone for taking the time to read and answer. And, Soon567, I really liked your answer but not because its what i was 'looking to hear' but it seemed like some of the others had the wrong idea saying "once a cheater always a cheater" and that wasn't fitting my situation because like I said I really see myself as a kid still. Very young. I'm not like those other kids who think that they're all grown up and 'in love' I realize that it is very unlikely that me and my boyfriend will be together forever which is why I want to have fun now because if not, I will regrett it later. So I say why not have fun and be really close with one particular person aswell :)
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (27 June 2010):
 If you have committed to this fella that you're with, and he thinks you're exclusive, then cheating is cheating. If you're just dating him, it's completely okay to date more than one guy - IF, everyone is aware that you are just dating. Not "going steady" or calling each other boyfriend and girlfriend.
If you feel guilty, it's probably not a good thing to be doing. Sorry sweetness and good luck!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2010): Girl if you really want to know how many guys think later down the line please read Soon567's answer in this post.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-b-oyfriend-has-anger-towards-me-for.html
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A
male
reader, seneca +, writes (27 June 2010):
It depends on exactly what the relationship is with your first boyfriend.
Are you just good friends, or perhaps kissing and cuddling, or even petting friends? If so you have no commitment and should be able to go out with other boys, even have a kiss and cuddle or some heavy petting with others without being considered a cheat - as long as you have clearly told your first boyfriend that you are not yet committed to him alone. It's what most girls do when they start to find out about boys and get to know a few as they find out what they like in a boy. After all, how else are you supposed to find out what's on offer?!
But if you have some sort of mutual understanding wih your first boyfriend, or are going steady, or are having sex with him fairly often, then you are cheating. You have to let him know very clearly that you do not regard yourself as committed to him. At the same time, if this is your feeling, you must let him know that he has equal freedom to go out with other girls if he wishes. Don't be too afraid of 'losing' him. Very few girls of your age finish up with their first boyfriend. It's a big world out there, you are going to change a lot over the next ten years and will meet some very attractive and even desirable men. Hold your fire.
All very difficult to sort out at your age, I know, but that's life and you have to learn how to deal with it - and how to deal with others honestly. And, incidentally, how to be honest with yourself, which is sometimes the most difficult of all.
Let's hope you learn and grow up to be an honest woman. If you do you will have everyone's respect and be a great partner for some lucky guy.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (27 June 2010):
You're cheating. Have the respect for your boyfriend and let him go. Then go and have fun. If you don't, and you continue to cheat, then your reputation will be tainted and he good guys will run a mile away from you, even in 10/20 years.
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A
female
reader, EbonyBlossom +, writes (27 June 2010):
 "Once a cheat, always a cheat." When you get used to cheating, it's not always an easy thing to stop, unless you become absolutely besotted in a problemless relationship with someone who loves you just as much. But that's not gonna be so easy to find, as you've started to build a bad reputation for yourself. Once you cheat on someone, people who know you will see you as a cheat for a while, especially when there is no reason to cheat. I mean yeah, it's not good to be tied down at 16 and you should keep your options open, but if you want more than one person at the same time, don't commit to a relationship with them! Either stop cheating now, or break it off with your boyfriend.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (27 June 2010):
Baddogbj,of course it would be worse if she were married or engaged , but this does not mean that,since she is not, she is doing a good thing now,
16 is not too early to respect people, and she is disrespecting her boyfriend.
Preciselt because she is only 16, and ,if I got it right, not even sexually active, she can experiment and be a serial monogamist. She can kiss a new boy every week , if she wants, and nobody will be too hard on her or accuse her of instability or loose morals, she will be just enjoying the privileges of being 16.
Among those privileges cheating, breaking your partner's trust and telling him lies are not included.
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A
male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (27 June 2010):
 I tend to disagree with the other aunts. You are just a kid and you are very unlikely to end up spending your life together and so "cheating" in this kind of relationship is qualitatively different from cheating in a marriage or a committed adult relationship. On the contrary it seems ludicrous to me that 16 year olds tie themselves down within the frameworks of a full on relationship.
On the other hand, if you like this boy then don't do anything to make him lose face in front of his peers.
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A
female
reader, KeighleySky +, writes (27 June 2010):
 As the others have said cheating is cheat. Your contradicting yourself when you say you don't want to be tied down, yet then you say breaking up isn't an option because you've been together a long time. Well, when you've stayed together a long time that's when a relationship becomes serious. You are cheating and it's wrong, especially when this relationship has been long. You have to options, you either stop cheating and cut the ties with the guy your cheating with or dump your current boyfriend. If he finds out he will be hurt.You obviously dont care about him, as sunnycomet said, you either end this relationship or stop your cheating.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2010): When teenagers date, they spend alot of that time maturing through the dating process, and learning what type of partner they really want. Unfortunately, cheating isn't part of the normal learning curve in dating. Yes, it happens to some people, but no matter what age, there's no excuse to do it. Most people that cheat don't feel bad about it while they do it because the ones that would have felt the most guilty refrain from it.. most people have a gut feeling, if not their morals, stopping them from going behind their partner's back, and when you really care alot about someone, you simply don't cheat on them. If you care more about not breaking things off with your bf than actually respecting him while you're together, then you care more about what he views you as, rather than your real actions. Kid or not, if you love someone, you don't deceive them to that extent. The normal teenage experience of dating, as naive as some are, is to dump one person before going to the next, though some people obviously take the other option, regardless of how it may eventually affect themselves. The fact that you're questioning the severity and relevance of cheating at a certain age, shows you actually do care about whether it's right or wrong, so in short, it's very wrong to do, and hurtful when you tell your ongoing partner or boyfriend/girlfriend. You don't have to be married to cheat, but only deceiving the one you love and care about. Just chop it up to an honest mistake and try to move on, but without cheating on anyone from now on. If you want to continue with your boyfriend, stop cheating on him, but if you want to continue dating or kissing anyone else, dump your boyfriend and allow him to move on to someone who can be more faithful, respectful and honest to him.
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A
female
reader, busy04 +, writes (27 June 2010):
 Cheating is cheating no matter what the age Sweetheart. If you know that you're not able to commit and you don't want to be tied down, then the best thing to do is be honest and say that. Honesty is the best policy, don't do something to someone that you don't want done to you...remember that :)
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A
female
reader, sunnycomet +, writes (27 June 2010):
No honey, cheating for kids is not acceptable. You are a teenager...not a kid anyway.
You are cheating on your bf...how would you feel if your bf went out with other girls and kissed them?
If you don't feel bad and you still want him then tell him. He should at least know and maybe agree to an open relationship.
What you are doing is wrong and not feeling guilty shows that you don't really care for him.
You feel like you are too young to be tied down...you really should not have a bf.
ANyway, good luck and i hope thinks work out
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