| Latest articles: About Facebook and relationships
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 October 2011: While generally facebook is considered a fun way to keep in touch with friends and share photos, it can be a huge source of turmoil in a relationship. If I had a dime for every time I read "I'm worried because I saw something on her/his facebook..." ...
Is Pornography cheating?
This question has 100 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 May 2011: The age old question on this site seems to be "is pornography use cheating?" My response to that first depends on how you define cheating. A relationship is basically a sexual contract, an agreement between two (sometimes more) people. These people ...
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My G/f doesn't want a child, yet is against any form of birth control apart from me using a condom. She says if the condom rips then we can just put the baby up for adoption!!
Q. Hi, Me and my girlfriend have been together for 3 years she is 20 i am 23 we have been having sex for around 2 months, she was a virgin and wanted to wait, but a conversation we had the other day has confused me slightly. She says to me that ...
A. 13 February 2012: No there's no need to double up the pill + condoms, but condoms do occasionally fail. I refuse to take the pill because it makes me crazy, sick, and wrecks my libido (I've tried many brands, none worked). However, if the condom failed I would (and ... (read in full...)
Condom queries here!
Q. How far up is it normal for a condom to slip? Everytime after he pulls out its pretty near the top and I was wondering if it would put me at risk of getting pregnant. Also, he stays inside me for a little while after we're done, and I wanted to know ...
A. 10 February 2012: If you don't want to be on the pill in addition to the condom, I've heard great things about adding in these little sheets/films of spermicide. They're less messy than the creams and it's a good backup. A test might not give you a positive only six ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend and I are on a break. Looking for advice on how to handle it.
Q. My girlfriend and I have been dating for about 6 months and everything has been going really well until recently. Earlier this week she sent me a text saying that she had been thinking and that she wanted to talk. (Bad News Obviously) Well....
A. 10 February 2012: It could mean she does miss you, but her missing you doesn't always go hand in hand with wanting to repair the relationship. Sometimes love just isn't enough. I really hope we're wrong though.... (read in full...)
Should my mother allow me to spend the night with my boyfriend?
Q. Okay so I wanted to know that if your 16 years old and your boyfriend is 17, and you guys have been together for a year and seven months but have known each other for three years. Should you be able to stay the night with him. My boyfriend lives an ...
A. 10 February 2012: "They did a study, and its been proven that teenager's hormones are wayyyyy too strong to control. "
First off there has never been a study in history, ever, that proves anything. Studies PROVE nothing. They show within a reasonable statistical marg... (read in full...)
My girlfriend and I are on a break. Looking for advice on how to handle it.
Q. My girlfriend and I have been dating for about 6 months and everything has been going really well until recently. Earlier this week she sent me a text saying that she had been thinking and that she wanted to talk. (Bad News Obviously) Well....
A. 10 February 2012: I think give her space. Often times in these types of eggshell circumstances with relationships you should identify what you most want to do and do the opposite. For instance when your partner pulls away, the thing you most want to do (we all want ... (read in full...)
Why have I been bleeding lately? Is it because of the new contraceptive pills?
Q. I've been on the contraceptive pill for a year now, when i first started taking the pill i had the usual breakthrough bleeding. however, every month for a year (give or take a few), i have brown spotting/ discharge a week before my period is due. i ...
A. 10 February 2012: It's most likely caused by your pill. You need to speak to a doctor about switching brands and to make sure that's all that's wrong.... (read in full...)
The sex law does not stop any teenager from having sex, why is it always slammed in our faces that we're underage?
Q. Hi, i am not looking to have sex. But i have questions on the sex law. It doesn't stop anyone! I know a pregnant 8th grader! On secret life of the american teenager, amy got pregnant at 15! But why when girls my age (15) ask to go on the pill, its ...
A. 10 February 2012: It does stop people. And you can bet that when that pregnant 8th grader gives birth, there will be police there to find out who the father is and if he is older (the laws on this gap vary by state) arrest him. The law exists for a reason, because ... (read in full...)
Horses are the only good thing. how can I make it clear to my parents that they expect too much of me?
Q. Ok so I seriously hate my life right now....everything just sucks about it. I go to a horrible public high school where theres drugs and a million 15 year old pregnant girls. Our house that I've been living in for about 10 years is going to get take...
A. 10 February 2012: Look, there will always people who are smarter, prettier, better at every skill you have, who have more money, nicer parents, a hotter boyfriend. It sucks, but that's just the way it is.
You think your life sucks because you have to go to public s... (read in full...)
Condom queries here!
Q. How far up is it normal for a condom to slip? Everytime after he pulls out its pretty near the top and I was wondering if it would put me at risk of getting pregnant. Also, he stays inside me for a little while after we're done, and I wanted to know ...
A. 10 February 2012: Yes that puts you at risk for getting pregnant and yes the semen could trickle down. He needs to hold the base of the condom before he pulls out. He should also reach down and check that the condom is still in place (has not slid up) before he ... (read in full...)
My G/f doesn't want a child, yet is against any form of birth control apart from me using a condom. She says if the condom rips then we can just put the baby up for adoption!!
Q. Hi, Me and my girlfriend have been together for 3 years she is 20 i am 23 we have been having sex for around 2 months, she was a virgin and wanted to wait, but a conversation we had the other day has confused me slightly. She says to me that ...
A. 10 February 2012: She's being selfish and immature. A baby isn't a sweater. Putting a baby up for adoption is a HUGE emotional toll. It will not be an out of sight out of mind situation, you will both wonder how your biological child is doing for the rest of your ... (read in full...)
Should my mother allow me to spend the night with my boyfriend?
Q. Okay so I wanted to know that if your 16 years old and your boyfriend is 17, and you guys have been together for a year and seven months but have known each other for three years. Should you be able to stay the night with him. My boyfriend lives an ...
A. 10 February 2012: You're 16! Of course your mom won't let you spend the night with your boyfriend. You're a minor!... (read in full...)
Make-up ideas...
Q. ok so i really like wearing makeup but my mom dosnt really like me wearing lots so i just put on eyeshadow and sometimes some eyeliner with it can u guys tell me whats the most important things when wearing makeup like to make your eyes pop but not ...
A. 10 February 2012: Well your mom is right, most girls your age wear WAY too much eye makeup. What I can say is go easy on the eyeliner. It will also look more subtle if you don't use black or a very dark color. Depending on your eye color try brown (works with any eye ... (read in full...)
When I asked my FWB partner not to have sex with her disgusting ex because I don't want to end up contracting a disease, she thought I was accusing her. Did I do the right thing?
Q. So I had a fwb thing with going on with someone and she said how much she hated her ex and what not and her ex did act like a complete dick. He even at one point seemed to be bragging to her how he's having sex with so many women and doing meth (I ...
A. 10 February 2012: As a FWB you don't have a right to control with your FWB does or who she does it with. You only have a right to choose to not have sex with her or to use a condom if you do.... (read in full...)
Can a boy in college around pretty girls stay a virgin?
Q. Hey Everyone, okay, so this guy that I'm not actually officially dating, but we have been a thing for almost two years is away at college. which is kind of why we're not together. He tells me he is still a virgin, but I don't believe him because ...
A. 10 February 2012: It's not a matter of "can a boy" but a matter of "can your boyfriend." Obviously you don't trust your boyfriend and it sounds like you don't trust him for a reason. He is pushy with you, takes sexual favors, and refuses to commit. I simply don't see ... (read in full...)
Does this spot mean anything?
Q. Earlier today I found a spot on my clit in my vagina. It's not too big but it's noticable. It isn't sore or annoying or anything, but I'm wondering if it might be anything serious? I only found it today. I do have sex with my boyfriend b...
A. 9 February 2012: What kind of spot? Sometimes people do get freckles on their vulva, same with pimples and moles. If it's that kind of spot, keep an eye on it and see if it changes at all. If you notice changes in color or size, go see a doc to check it out.
If it... (read in full...)
Met a guy whilst wearing coloured contact lenses, will he think I'm fake if he finds out? What do guys think of girls who wear coloured lenses?
Q. Honest answers from guys, I don't care if they are hurtful I need to know a truthful answer. What do you think of girls who wear coloured lenses? Do you not care so much, think they're fake, find them attractive.. what? Because I met this guy whi...
A. 9 February 2012: I doubt he'd care, and I REALLY doubt he didn't notice they were contacts. Some contacts look good from the front, but there are none that you can't see when you turn to the side or look up or down. But really, I don't see the difference between ... (read in full...)
I wish he came with me to see my doctor!
Q. I am probably being really selfish but tomorrow I have got to see my cardiologist (had heart surgery when I was 5)and my boyfriend goes to judo like every Wednesday on the dot! I am happy if he enjoys it and it doesnt bother me at all usually but ...
A. 9 February 2012: Your health and safety a weekly fun class. You're not being selfish at all. He probably doesn't realize how scary it is for you if you haven't told him. He might not realize that it's worse than another doctor's appointment. You can't really expect ... (read in full...)
I told him I'm a virgin, but I've done things with guys...it turned him off
Q. So.. I've been dating this guy for a week. Im a virgin. He's not. He asked about my past, I had done some things and it totally turned him off. But, I was completely honest with him because I didn't want to lie to him. What do I do?...
A. 9 February 2012: You dump his hypocritical butt. He gets to judge you for having a sexual past, while his is totally fine? What a hypocrite!... (read in full...)
Au naturale...
Q. I read in a newspaper recently that a lot of women are beginning to stay 'natural' i.e no shaving their arm pits, etc, I am wondering what readers of 'dearcupid.org think about that suggestion....
A. 9 February 2012: No one would shave anything if not for pressure from advertising/the media. People don't just pop out of the womb thinking that women ought to be hairless. It's not some inherently "sexy" trait. In some cultures very hairy women, sometimes even ... (read in full...)
How woulda guy react to this news?
Q. How can I tell someone that I've only dated a few months and had s?? with only once (recently) that I've been diagnosed mild dyskaryosis? I've been seeing him 6 months. It takes me ages to trust and get to know someone before I get intimate with ...
A. 9 February 2012: Why wouldn't you just tell him you had an abnormal pap smear and that you had to have a procedure done? Of course he's going to take it the wrong way if you don't give him a reason. There's nothing embarrassing about having an abnormal pap smear.... (read in full...)
Did or did he not cheat? Is he still?
Q. I was away for two weeks in September, while I was gone, apparently my boyfriend and best friend were doing alot of talking. It caused a huge argument and I stopped talking to my friend for a few months. Recently, I started talking to her again. I ...
A. 9 February 2012: What did she say when you told her he admitted cheating?... (read in full...)
Based on my personality what animal could I use to best describe me for this job question?
Q. Lol. I've been asked an unusual question on an application form, and i'm not sure how to answer it. I'm applying for a job in a Pet Shop, and the question is to describe yourself as a pet, what would you would be and why!. I guess i need to think ...
A. 9 February 2012: I was going to say a labrador retriever as well. I would stay away from saying cat as they are generally not thought of as liking others, liking people, being friendly, or any of the other things you'd want in an employee. Of course there are ... (read in full...)
Is the fact that she's pretty a good enough reason to ask her out?
Q. Ok so there's this girl i like and want to ask out but i dont know if i should. The only reason i want to ask her out is because she's gorgeous, i dont really know much about her. We see each other once a week due to work, and because we are working ...
A. 9 February 2012: Sure, why not? That's what the dating is for, to get to know her better.... (read in full...)
What's stopping him from asking me out????
Q. I am talking to a guy i met online a few weeks ago (about 3 weeks) and he seems really nice, and it seems like we have many things in common. He has told me he thinks i am really pretty and asked when he can start taking me on dates and we joke ...
A. 9 February 2012: "Why isnt this guy making more of an effort if he really is interested and attracted to me?"
Why aren't YOU making more of an effort if you really are interested in him? Women are allowed to ask men on dates too, he's probably shy. If you want to d... (read in full...)
Why did she taste different???
Q. hello I just have some simple questions. back in the second month me and my fiance(which is about 6 months ago) had sex for the first time and even though I knew a lot about foreplay and what to do and what I should do, I didn't know what I liked to ...
A. 8 February 2012: The smell and taste does change depending on what point in a her cycle she's at. Just wait a week or so and it should go back to "normal."... (read in full...)
Au naturale...
Q. I read in a newspaper recently that a lot of women are beginning to stay 'natural' i.e no shaving their arm pits, etc, I am wondering what readers of 'dearcupid.org think about that suggestion....
A. 8 February 2012: When was the last time any guy was told they're not taking care of themselves when they didn't rip all their hair out (not trimming, actually getting rid of it)? Any guy who thinks women shouldn't have pubic hair or finds it disgusting watches way ... (read in full...)
If it turns out I am pregnant, should I tell him? I know for certain I will have an abortion and I'm afraid he might want to keep it.
Q. So about a 3 weeks ago, I had a friend of a friend who was visiting from overseas. We had sex, and although I've been on birth control for about four years, we did not use a condom. I was supposed to get my period this week, but did not. He is t...
A. 8 February 2012: I agree with Cerberus and HoneyPie. If you want him to pay half the abortion you should tell him, otherwise I don't see the need if you'll never see him again. He's an ass if he won't since it's half his doing. BUT before you jump to any ... (read in full...)
Is he shy and only rings me when he has a few drinks for courage?
Q. Hi I need your help I met this guy back in September 2011 and I really do like him and we only got together in November 2011 but my problem with him is that I only ever hear from him when he is out with his friends and having afew drinks this is ...
A. 8 February 2012: It's not an issue of courage, you're definitely his booty call. He's not shy at all. His message is pretty clear.... (read in full...)
I'm bisexual, and if my mom gets to know she's going to kick me out!
Q. My problem is that i'm bisexual, i haven't told her about me and my mom thinks that it's wrong. And yes, i know tht its wrong.. but i've dated 3 girls and more guys thn 7. Should i tell her? she might kick me out or tell my whole family and my aunt ...
A. 8 February 2012: I'm sorry your country is so homophobic. You say you've been with more guys than girls, so focus on the guys when you talk to your parents and family. I hate to say this, but since you're bi and are also attracted to guys, your life will be a lot ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants me to marry him and move to Hawaii but my parents/college are stopping me from doing so
Q. Hey all, My boyfriend is in the Marines, we've been together for 2 years and we are very much in love. I've known him for 6 years prior to this, as he was my best friend in high school. He is stationed in Hawaii currently and I am in my junior ...
A. 8 February 2012: He should not even be asking while you're in college. If he loves you enough to marry you he can love you enough to marry you he will love you enough to marry you in 1.5 years when you're done with college. You don't want to give your entire life up ... (read in full...)
Help ladies please! I'm petrified about my first smear test and need support please?
Q. I am 23 and I am having my first smear test Thursday, I am absolutely petrified, im shaking thinking about it, can anyone give me advice I hope im not the only one that feels like this?...
A. 7 February 2012: What part scares you? It doesn't hurt, it's mostly just uncomfortable (more mentally than physically). Just remember they've seen EVERYTHING and you look normal, no matter what you look like. As women we're all taught to think our genitals are ... (read in full...)
I love my girlfriend but I am attracted to others!
Q. Hello everyone, I have been in a relationship for the past 5 months with a wonderful girl. She is attractive, works hard, cares about me immensely, and pretty much matches everything I had pictured I wanted in a girl. However recently, I have...
A. 6 February 2012: The trick to maintaining those honeymoon butterflies is to try out new things together regularly. Even small things but to name a few, trying a new restaurant, having sex in a different place, checking a new part of your town/city, trying an ... (read in full...)
I'm very insecure about fiance's porn useage!
Q. I have become very insecure about my fiance's porn usage. We have been together for over a year and are very much in love. I am pretty much always up for sex because I have a very high sex drive. I am always trying new things with him, try to ...
A. 6 February 2012: It has NOTHING to do with you. It's a habit he's picked up from being single and an adolescent. I'm about as anti-porn as they come, but I just want to make sure you know this really does not have ANYTHING to do with you. He finds you attractive, ... (read in full...)
I'm weak for him but need to let go
Q. I was with this guy. We get along great and we always have fun. The thing is, we've had our share of bad times. I tried so hard to stay away from him, but it's like we can't stay away from each other. The other night, after he ended it f...
A. 6 February 2012: There's no easy solution. You need to cut him out of your life. If you can't, have a friend do it for you. Block his number, block his facebook, block all social media, block his email. Block everything.
The number one way to move past this sor... (read in full...)
I like him but he likes her. How do I change this?
Q. The guy i like is dating someone else and i don't know if he likes me. How do i get him to want to be with me instead of her?...
A. 6 February 2012: You can't change someone else's, you can only change yourself.... (read in full...)
What is it called when you think of someone obsessively but aren't sexually attracted to them
Q. I'd like to just ask a basic question that nobody I've asked could answer till now. Please read the lines carefully. It is: What is it called when you're obsessively curious about a member of the opposite sex? Like, you want to get to know them...
A. 6 February 2012: You've got a crush. :)... (read in full...)
How to avoid pregnancy
Q. Hi, I am new to this so sorry if I'm doing it wrong. Anyways, I am currently 19 years old and I really want to have sex with my boyfriend of 8 months, but I am terrified of getting pregnant... I know about condoms, but those arent always effectiv...
A. 6 February 2012: The safest you can really get is to be on the pill AND use a condom, you can pick just one as you get more comfortable. If you take the pill correctly it's more than 99% effective (fewer than 1 in 100 women will become pregnant, not 3 in 100) and ... (read in full...)
If a married man and a woman have an affair, can the woman be blamed as well?
Q. If a woman and a married man have an affair, is it the woman's fault as well? Obviously, it is the man's fault, but is the woman to blame as well as a home-wrecker? I have heard the defense of the woman saying "It was his choice to go after m...
A. 5 February 2012: I think people tend to blame the other woman because it's easier to be angry at her and blame her than it is to admit someone you loved and trusted would knowingly hurt you. If it wasn't her, it would be someone else. Is she blameless? Of course ... (read in full...)
Scared of having sex as I'm not sure what to do... Help!
Q. hi everyone, I really need some advice. The thing is I've been dating this guy for about eight months now and he wants to have sex and I just keep telling him that I'm not ready but the truth is that I'm really scared of sex and I don't know what ...
A. 5 February 2012: If you're scared of it, then you're not ready. You should only have sex if you're 100% comfortable with your partner and the idea of it. Trust me, you'll know when you're ready. You're not, and that's OK. He's putting pressure on you and that's not ... (read in full...)
Why does my cousin treat her boyfriend so badly?
Q. Why does my cousin treats her man this way? is so sad? My cousin treats her boyfriend really badly. She actually treats him like her slave. He's not allowed to talk to other girls. She's constantly arguing with him. She's dumped him a million ti...
A. 5 February 2012: Why do you care so much about what goes on in your cousin's relationship? How does it affect you? There's nothing you can do about it, so why worry so much?... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is going through chemo, and suddenly we're more like just friends!
Q. Ok .. complicated, but serious question. Just 5 months into a new relationship (which was going very, very well) my girlfriend was diagnosed with breast cancer. Through surgery .. then 4 months of chemo, she is now cancer free .. yet doing 6 weeks ...
A. 5 February 2012: Sorry OP I didn't see your update. Look cancer is rough on EVERYONE, it's incredibly hard on people around. If you were asking how to cope emotionally it would be one thing, but the sex thing... You should get yourself to a therapist to talk about ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is going through chemo, and suddenly we're more like just friends!
Q. Ok .. complicated, but serious question. Just 5 months into a new relationship (which was going very, very well) my girlfriend was diagnosed with breast cancer. Through surgery .. then 4 months of chemo, she is now cancer free .. yet doing 6 weeks ...
A. 4 February 2012: Your girlfriend is struggling with a life threatening illness and a treatment that is so bad it's not unheard of for people to simply give up on it and quit because it's just so horrible to go through.
I don't even know how else to respond ... (read in full...)
Do guys like necking?
Q. Hi everyone I'm wondering if guys like necking. Girls and guys please feel free to answer but a guy's perspective would definitely help! Thank you! ...
A. 4 February 2012: I think the term necking means making out clothes on. Most do, most guys also like being kissed and stroked on the neck (the sides), and most guys also like neck massages.... (read in full...)
My period cravings make me feel terrible!
Q. Everytime I'm on my period, I have immense cravings for salt and chocolate. I know that its a usual craving, but its all i can think about! My favorite foods can be served and I'll still only want chocolate and potato chips. Its all I can think ...
A. 4 February 2012: As you get older they'll become less and less. The extreme end would be to get on birth control and control the hormones a bit. The less extreme end would be to take your mind off it. I find it helps to chew gum.... (read in full...)
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