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age
30-35,
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writes: So I had a fwb thing with going on with someone and she said how much she hated her ex and what not and her ex did act like a complete dick. He even at one point seemed to be bragging to her how he's having sex with so many women and doing meth (I don't see how the last one is something to brag about but whatever). So we were planning on having a little fun later on in the week, today we were talking and she said she was drinking and hanging out with her ex. So what I think is she was having sex with him, which I really don't care about. What I do care about is not contracting a disease. So I told her I don't understand why she would even hangout with him and yes I am accusing her of having sex with him because she did before when she said she "emotionally felt weak" so now she is a little upset with me and she is saying that I'm accusing her of being a wh@re. Now what I'm wondering is did I do the right thing?? I mean I would rather not catch something because someone feels weak.. and she has a boyfriend as well who she says she has no feelings for but is with him so she feels happy....
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2012): Since you don't care for her, I presume that is why you're only in fwb with her and you're basically in it for the sex, then end the relationship,find someone to have a real relationship with. Don't base your relationships on sex only or sex mainly with promiscuous people who have no obligation to you and then expect them to be faithful to you. Condoms aren't fool proof obviously but it's better than no protection at all. You're behavior is high risk as you well know since you're having unprotected sex with someone who is having sex with multiple partners, one of whom is a drug addict.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2012): That's a very good point that So_Very_Confused brought up. If you cared about this girl and had any respect for her at all you wouldn't be judging her like this nor giving her shit for living her life the way she wants to. You don't like the idea of "sloppy seconds" to a promiscuous meth-head? Then don't sleep with her, at least show her enough dignity and respect not to impose your own moral code on a girl you essentially only see as being good for a lay. You're no upstanding member of the community for that either OP. If she's anything more to you than just a warm, wet pussy for you to put your prick into then show her enough respect not to make her feel like shit when she hasn't done anything wrong.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (10 February 2012):
 Nope you did not do the right thing. She’s a FWB you have NO say in what she does or who she does it with.
If you are that concerned then don’t’ sleep with her.
And if you have NO feelings for her why even consider it.
At least my FWB cared about me.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2012): Sorry I meant "arrangement" not "relationship."
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (10 February 2012):
 No, you can tell her who she can and can't have sex with. That is how FWB works.
If you worry about what kind of nasty guys she sleeps with, then don't have sex with her.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2012): "People can still contract diseases when using condoms." That's very true and you are also more likely to contract a disease from a person who's allowed go around shagging other people yet that doesn't stop you staying in this relationship does it?
If you don't want her sleeping around then make it exclusive, otherwise you have no right to tell her what to or not to do and you can't complain if you contract a disease from her because you A. Know that condoms aren't 100% effective against disease and B. you're sleeping with a girl who is allowed to sleep with others.
If she gives you a disease then that's your fault. You can't have your cake and eat it too OP she owes you nothing.
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (10 February 2012):
 Good. Then you can simply abstain from having sex with her. She still has no obligations to limit or modify HER sex life for an FWB.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2012): No you didn't do the right thing but you know what I think you're lying about your reasons too OP.
If you don't want a disease you should be using a condom so I think you've actually got feelings for her and you're more uncomfortable with the idea of her being with any other guy and not because of the disease aspect but because you're jealous and want her all to yourself.
OP in an FWB situation you must always use protection because she is free to shag anyone she likes when she likes and she could be boning another guy an hour before you give her head and there's nothing to say she can't do that. Obviously that would be very inconsiderate of her but she's free to shag meth heads, guys with AIDS or whoever she pleases.
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female
reader, YouWish +, writes (10 February 2012):
 I agree with everyone on here.
She has the right to sleep with 625 other men if you and she are FWB. Wear a fricken CONDOM if you're worried about disease.
Otherwise, if you're really worried about disease, then don't even ever think about having casual sex, and confine your sexual activities forever to long term relationships and marriage.
We both know that this isn't about disease. It's about territory. And unless you make her your girlfriend, you don't have the right to one SYLLABLE of questioning her about any other sexual relationship, past or present.
In short, stop marking your territory like Old Yeller.
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female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (10 February 2012):
 FWB is about friendship (hopefully) and sex. Not much more to it. But it's also a contract, and you do have the right to set some conditions, like not sleeping with other people who might be diseased.
As a friend you should warn her about her ex. As a FWB you are right to tell her not to sleep with other people because your worried about disease. As a friend or a FWB she's a liberty to ignore you and then the FWB is over, but probably not the friendship.
If she has 3 men on the go, it is your duty to always wear a condom to protect yourself, anything else is dangerous.
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female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (10 February 2012):
No. Way out of line for an FWB only. You can ( should, actually ) use condoms- or else, just having sex with someone safer.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2012): It is absolutely none of your business who she has sex with, your merely a FWB, no rights what so ever.
You either stop seeing her,
make her your proper girlfriend
or wear a condom and stop interferring in the rest of her life.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2012): If you care about not contracting a disease there are a few options: 1- don't have sex 2- only have protected sex. 3- only have sex with a monogamous partner who is conservative- with a gf or wife, not a fwb.
For your emotional and physical health fewer sex partners and only in relationships is best.
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female
reader, person12345 +, writes (10 February 2012):
 As a FWB you don't have a right to control with your FWB does or who she does it with. You only have a right to choose to not have sex with her or to use a condom if you do.
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female
reader, egalO3 +, writes (10 February 2012):
Seems like she's very confused; possibly doesn't know her true self. & personally, you did the right thing; and apperenly she's been around if she's sleeping w you, hanging out with her methheaf ex, & has a bf; she's just plain emotionally & mentally confused. She doesn't know what or who she wants. Id let her do her &you do you. Save your self the worries.
& what is fwd
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