| Latest articles: About Facebook and relationships
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 October 2011: While generally facebook is considered a fun way to keep in touch with friends and share photos, it can be a huge source of turmoil in a relationship. If I had a dime for every time I read "I'm worried because I saw something on her/his facebook..." ...
Is Pornography cheating?
This question has 100 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 May 2011: The age old question on this site seems to be "is pornography use cheating?" My response to that first depends on how you define cheating. A relationship is basically a sexual contract, an agreement between two (sometimes more) people. These people ...
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Men, do you watch porn? Woman, are you okay with your man watching it?
Q. Okay I need to know answersfrom men an women! Men do you all watch porn? Me an my boyfriend of 6 years has had this issue I the past year I found him lookin at porn. So it hurts that he has to look at other women it's not like he's watching a video ...
A. 25 January 2012: This came from speaking to lawyers prepping for a trial about working conditions on porn sets and whether the producers could be held accountable for knowingly spreading STDs and causing harm to porn performers, not talking about BDSM or people's ... (read in full...)
Men, do you watch porn? Woman, are you okay with your man watching it?
Q. Okay I need to know answersfrom men an women! Men do you all watch porn? Me an my boyfriend of 6 years has had this issue I the past year I found him lookin at porn. So it hurts that he has to look at other women it's not like he's watching a video ...
A. 23 January 2012: Slapping turns some people on. OK so if something turns someone on suddenly it's totally exempt from critique? If degrading and humiliating women turns someone on, it's OK so long as it's arousing? If someone gets off on watching realistic rape ... (read in full...)
How can I stop cum leaking out after sex?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years now, but there is this thing thats been annoying me for some time now... Whenever my boyfriend cums in me after sex, it never like stays in me? whenever I stand up I can feel it leak out, especially ...
A. 22 January 2012: It happens to your friends if they don't use condoms, they just don't talk about it. Unless their boyfriends don't produce semen, it happens to them too. It happens to everyone who has sex without a condom. Otherwise where would the fluids go? This ... (read in full...)
Spots on my vagina
Q. Since from as a long as I can remember I've always had spots on my vagina, at first I thought it was simply just a shaving rash, but they don't seem to disapear, and before people say anything, I can say for a fact its not a STI or anything of that ...
A. 22 January 2012: If it's on your skin (outer lips) it could just be freckles or moles. You might want to check with your doctor to make sure it's nothing though.... (read in full...)
How can I stop cum leaking out after sex?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years now, but there is this thing thats been annoying me for some time now... Whenever my boyfriend cums in me after sex, it never like stays in me? whenever I stand up I can feel it leak out, especially ...
A. 22 January 2012: You can't without using condoms. I assume you are using another form of birth control, either the pill, shot, or IUD or something? Anyone who find this embarrassing is not ready to be having sex without condoms. It's a little unpleasant, but ... (read in full...)
I can't orgasm during sex. Will this problem go away?
Q. Hi! This is sorta a personal issue, but please help me ): sorry if its tmi! I'm an 18 year old female who had sex for the first time last month. I've read and understand that some women don't orgasm the first five or six times they have in...
A. 22 January 2012: It's not most women don't have them the first few times they have sex, most women never have an orgasm during intercourse (75% never do). There's nothing wrong with how you're masturbating, if that's what you gets you off, that's what gets you off. ... (read in full...)
Extended one-night stands?
Q. If you decided to have sex a few times with a guy and then each move on with your lives (basically an extended one night stand), did you have sexual satisfaction from the first time or you had to give it some (more) time(s)? What to do in order not ...
A. 21 January 2012: People, especially women, rarely get real satisfaction from one night stand situations. People almost always report higher satisfaction from long term partners because you have to get comfortable enough to ask for what you want/need and get to know ... (read in full...)
Why do teenagers get more criticism, when they become pregnant?
Q. ok im 18 now and before i tell u my story i have a question.. why is it that when somebody young ends up pregnant they are judged and discouraged. sometimes even pretty much told to have an abortion..when we can be just as good as parents as some 30 ...
A. 21 January 2012: It's not because people think teens don't love their children or physically abuse them, but in our society teens are considered barely beyond children themselves. For the most part teenagers aren't able to support themselves, let alone themselves ... (read in full...)
G spot? Where will I find it? Need to know to use vibrator effectively, thx
Q. What is the best position to hit your 'G' spot with a vibrator? ...
A. 21 January 2012: You can buy special vibrators that are built to target it. There's one with a little butterfly on it that gets great reviews online.... (read in full...)
Why would girlfriend have contact details of guy who raped her?
Q. My gf, who is now 27, was raped at 16 by a 26 year old guy she used to hang around with. She never told anyone except me when i met her 5 years ago. She has never dealt with it and has kept it blocked out. She made me promis never to tell anyone or ...
A. 21 January 2012: I second the idea that it helps her feel in control to keep tabs on him. I'm 100% sure that she is not romantically interested in him if that's what you're worried about. I know you want to ask but you already know she's not cheating. She herself ... (read in full...)
Men, do you watch porn? Woman, are you okay with your man watching it?
Q. Okay I need to know answersfrom men an women! Men do you all watch porn? Me an my boyfriend of 6 years has had this issue I the past year I found him lookin at porn. So it hurts that he has to look at other women it's not like he's watching a video ...
A. 20 January 2012: OP, you are not "screwed" if you have problems with having naked women on your phone, I don't know many women who would be OK with that. You are not alone as like I said, over 60% of women hate porn and do not want it in their relationships. You ... (read in full...)
I don't like oral sex but I love my g/f! Can this happen?
Q. I don't like the taste of eating a girl out, but I am definitely a lesbian and incredibly in love with my girlfriend for 2 years. Can this happen?...
A. 20 January 2012: Sure, why would being in love have anything to do with it? Pay more attention with your fingers, buy a fun vibrator together, there are lots of other ways to do it.... (read in full...)
We didn't actually have full blown sex, but could I be pregnant?
Q. Ok, this may sound weird, I've never had sex before, but I am planning on with my boyfriend in a few months. Anyway yesterday me and my boyfriend tried putting his member in down there just to see if it would work/fit, he took it out after 5 seconds ...
A. 19 January 2012: You can find out by asking him actually. Pre-cum can only contain sperm if there is sperm in the urethra already, i.e. he has recently ejaculated. So if it had been more than a few hours since he last ejaculated (time to dry) and he'd urinated since ... (read in full...)
Noisy sex
Q. Is making noise during sex important?...
A. 19 January 2012: No, but noise that isn't fake (sometimes though you can amplify it without it being fake-y) can be a nice addition.... (read in full...)
I cant orgasm during intercourse is it my fault or his?
Q. Im very physically and mentally attracted to my boyfriend, but when we had sex i NEVER orgasm, i only orgasm when he fingers me, when we have sex it lasts awhile, long enough to where i should have "gotten off" but i dont even though the sensation ...
A. 19 January 2012: Nothing is wrong with you. It's actually closer to 25%, and even that number is of women who have EVER had an orgasm from penetration alone, not who can regularly do so. Many women can't even orgasm from being fingered, so you are ahead of the ... (read in full...)
We talked about a three-way but my boyfriend won't even talk to the other girl!
Q. Hello For about a year now me and my boyfriend have talked about the idea of having another girl in our relationship. Mostly in a sexual way, but not purely just that... we actually want a 3 way relationship. Anyway, so we talk about this A LOT...
A. 19 January 2012: It sounds like you just want an excuse to cheat, in which case no wonder he's not exactly thrilled at the idea. If you want to pursue this woman, you need to break up with your boyfriend first. I'm not saying you shouldn't, I'm just saying you can't ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend being childish about going down on me. Anyone else having the same issues? What did you do about it?
Q. Ok so, its more something to rage off a bit. I've seen these topics a lot but still, I just NEED to rage it off. The point is, I've been in a very loving relationship for like 7 months now, and we're sexually very active, I have given my boyfrien...
A. 19 January 2012: Sex is not a witholding game or a who sacrifices more challenge, your boyfriend is being a jerk.
You need to stop giving him oral. From how you describe it you get NOTHING out of it. It's unpleasant for you, he doesn't appreciate it at all, and... (read in full...)
Men, do you watch porn? Woman, are you okay with your man watching it?
Q. Okay I need to know answersfrom men an women! Men do you all watch porn? Me an my boyfriend of 6 years has had this issue I the past year I found him lookin at porn. So it hurts that he has to look at other women it's not like he's watching a video ...
A. 19 January 2012: If you want the stats:
70% of men watch (70% of users lie about it.
Around 60% of women don't want their partners watching it, the number increases substantially when the women are shown porn images.
I always recommend couples read through the... (read in full...)
Boyfriend contacts suicidal ex-girlfriend
Q. Long story short: my boyfriend regularly contacts his suicidal ex-girlfriend to make sure she is not going to kill herself and he lied to me about this contact for a long time because he didn't think I would understand and it hurts him to talk ...
A. 19 January 2012: To be honest, her being suicidal sounds a bit too "convenient." I don't buy it. If she was really in such danger of killing herself and he was really so concerned about it, he would alert her parents or closer friends to take care of her. Him ... (read in full...)
Ladies -- I can't reach the O!
Q. i have a big issue ladies!! i cant NOT reach the big O! it's not like i'm new to having sex either. it feels good when my guy fingers me and when i have clitoral stimulation with my vibrator but when i have sex i dont feel anything, maybe some pain ...
A. 19 January 2012: Nothing is wrong with you! Women have VERY few nerve endings in their vaginas, all the better to not go into extreme shock during childbirth. The clitoris is the pleasure organ, not the vagina. The first 3 inches (you can't feel much past that) of ... (read in full...)
Can rough sex cause burning?
Q. I need help.... I had sex with my boyfriend and it was kinda rough... well now when i go pee it kinda burns a little... is this normal and if it is is it just because of the roughness???/...
A. 19 January 2012: It happens when you get chafed. Unpleasant but not serious. Should go away on its own in a day or two. Use lube next time to prevent it.... (read in full...)
I think I'm addicted to internet porn!
Q. i am a man of 26 i have always loved porn and mosted fantasys i have tried to explore most of my sexual appertite but i feel its not enough i have a fiance that is 23 years old as much as i love her she just doesnt fufill my needs is this wrong of ...
A. 18 January 2012: There are many groups that are similar to alcoholics anonymous about porn addiction, I suggest you look online to find one in your area. There are also many books on this. If you can afford it, therapy is the best thing for it. Yes porn addiction ... (read in full...)
Why do guys act hot and cold? What's the point?
Q. I don't get why guys act hot and cold. What is the point of being like this? Is this not a form of mind games? Don't get me wrong, I know it's just not guys who act hot and cold but women do it too. I just get confused when this happens though :...
A. 18 January 2012: Either he doesn't like her or he's manipulative. Either way it's not good.... (read in full...)
When he crashed out and went to sleep I kissed him, now I'm not sure if he even was asleep....what should I do?
Q. My best male friend and I have been friends for about 3 years, and we're very close. We're college sophomores and we talk about school, parties, sex, orgasms, etc. -- we're really open with one another, which is great...and it's nice to have a guy ...
A. 18 January 2012: He made a joke about you two having sex and didn't get uncomfortable with your head on his chest, I think odds are good he likes you back. So move to kiss him next time the time seems right, but when he's awake, and see what happens.... (read in full...)
Is masturbation worth doing?
Q. I'm 20 years old and I'm still a virgin in every way. Everyone I know masturbates,but for some reason that really freaks me out. The thought of it makes me feel guilty for some reason. How do you even do it? I know that sounds silly, but seriously. ...
A. 18 January 2012: Our society puts a lot of shame on people, especially women, for masturbating and there's no reason for it. It feels good, it helps you fall asleep, it's great for pulling you out of a bad mood, it can be a good way to pass the time, and it's the ... (read in full...)
Can all women have squirting orgasms?
Q. I'm in my early 40's and my question is about squirting orgasms, which I have never had. I have had a vaginal orgasm only twice, both on my own. Most of my orgasms are clitoral and extremely satisfying. Do you think it is true that every woman...
A. 18 January 2012: First off, it's a myth that there's a vaginal or clitoral orgasm. It's all clitoral. Your clitoris is huge, like fist sized, but most is inside. So when you have a "vaginal" orgasm you're actually stimulating your clitoris, just either indirectly on ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend says the mark on his neck is a bruise. I say it's a love bite.
Q. Thanks in advance for your answers! Last night I noticed what looks like a lovebite on my boyfriends neck. When I mentioned it he said it must be a 'bruise'. Since when do love bites look like bruises? When I tried to bring it up again he got angry, ...
A. 18 January 2012: How would you even get a bruise on your neck? A love bite is a bruise, but other than a love bite how would it get there? If it was innocent he would have a reasonable explanation, not get angry at you. Sorry to say it sounds like he cheated.... (read in full...)
Does he deserve a second chance after he lied about wearing a condom?
Q. I have been dating this guy for a couple of months. He's nice to me, although he has a bit of a problem telling the truth. He does not like wearing protection as he says he doesn't feel anything and the rubber irritates him. I finally agreed t...
A. 18 January 2012: Also to point out, in most countries this is legally a form of rape/sexual assult. Remember that whole thing with Assange? The charge of sexual assault was about lying about condoms, basically the same situation.... (read in full...)
We had incredible chemistry, but his friends say he always cheats on his girlfriend. Was I ever special?
Q. This past summer I met a guy...we'll call him Brad. He was talking to my dad and I walked over to introduce myself. There were fireworks instantly. We bonded over music, as he is a musician and actor in plays and before I left he said "I hope to see ...
A. 18 January 2012: Maybe he did, maybe he's just really good at manipulating women (it's very easy to fall hard and fast in those cases). Only he will ever know.
But there are two things going on here. One is that this is a guy who thinks it's OK to have sex with... (read in full...)
The sexual stimulation has changed, do you have any answers?
Q. Hi all. I'm currently in a relationship with my partner and have been for the past 2 years and usually our sex life is mind blowing. He's not massive in the trouser department i'd say he's about 5/6inches but he sure knows how to use it. Anyway o...
A. 18 January 2012: Well I highly doubt anything has happened to your vagina. It's likely you're just falling out of the sex honeymoon phase so that need to rip each others clothes off feeling is probably just dissipating a little, which is normal. Try doing things to ... (read in full...)
I dyed my hair bright red, what do you think people think, when the see my hair?
Q. Hi. I am a teenager and like most teenagers I want to express myself. I dyed my hair bright red, and when I say bright red, I mean BRIGHT red; I love it! I am usually a shy and quiet person, and listen to my mother and teachers, im not a goody tw...
A. 18 January 2012: I usually just notice because it's very bright and then don't give it much thought at all. Usually the only thought is that she's trying to be different. I dyed my hair around your age too, bright fire engine red and platinum blonde.
I second c... (read in full...)
Well endowed boyfriend makes sex uncomfortable
Q. My man is larger than average. He likes to go deep but it hurts me way too bad. It feels like hes poking me in my stomach and I feel I have the worst cramps of my life. Do you think that its just because of his size or is there something wrong wi...
A. 17 January 2012: There are some positions that allow deeper penetration and some that are pretty shallow, you should stick to shallow ones (pretty much rules out any rear entry positions). He is also perfectly capable of controlling how far in he goes, so if you ... (read in full...)
Does he deserve a second chance after he lied about wearing a condom?
Q. I have been dating this guy for a couple of months. He's nice to me, although he has a bit of a problem telling the truth. He does not like wearing protection as he says he doesn't feel anything and the rubber irritates him. I finally agreed t...
A. 17 January 2012: No. You shouldn't even talk to him again let alone have sex with him. What a selfish moron. He was willing to risk ruining your entire life because condoms don't feel as nice. This is not someone who has any respect whatsoever for you or your ... (read in full...)
His continued porn use is eating away my love for him!
Q. I need some male answere to understand what is going on or going wrong in our relationship. I try to make it simple. Here are the facts: We are married for a long time,still in love, have lots of hot sex (never boring!!!!), I am still very attra...
A. 17 January 2012: OP I HIGHLY recommend you read this porn series. It's a little long, but excellent if you're questioning this whole porn thing.
http://rageagainstthemanchine.com/2008/04/12/why-porn-isnt-cool-part-1/
There is no content to the last post other t... (read in full...)
I snooped and found he has changed his passwords
Q. My boyfriend has changed his passwords on Facebook and gmail without telling me. Am I right to feel insecure about this?... Why has he done this if he has nothing to hide? Or do people not share passwords with their other halves? We have been tog...
A. 17 January 2012: He likely felt uncomfortable because you knew his password. I don't know my partner's passwords and he doesn't know mine because people have a right to some privacy. He might not have anything to hide, but still not want you looking through his ... (read in full...)
I feel so bad about me and him not having sex?
Q. OK so my life is perfect but there is one tiny bit problem. me and my boyfriend are so happy together. thats not the problem. the problem is that i feel like he whats to have sex but i don't really want to. honestly i dont think im ready for sex. he ...
A. 17 January 2012: "he says its all okay but he is a boy and i know he wants to"
So what if you think he probably does want sex? Yes, he probably does. But that doesn't mean he can't wait or you have to do it. It's called delayed gratification, AKA maturity. So what... (read in full...)
Wife asked if I was going to wear a dress, and other constant put-dozens.
Q. I was really taken back by my wife's comment. We were getting ready to go somewhere, I asked what she was going to wear. She said jeans and asked me "are you going to wear a dress?" I was puzzled, and still am. The thing is I have NEVER worn ...
A. 16 January 2012: Whoa I think she was probably just trying to be funny, as in it's so obvious you're NOT wearing a dress. Unless something has happened recently that would indicate you like wearing dresses, I don't think she meant anything at all.... (read in full...)
Why don't men read maps?
Q. Why is it that when your in a car and your man is Driving and you both are in an unfamilliar town, he wont Admit that he is Lost. My Question is why wont men ask for Directions? ...
A. 15 January 2012: Because of rigid masculinity roles teaching men that asking for help is weak and that they have to be independent and strong at all times. I think it feels emasculating if you live in that kind of system.... (read in full...)
Why is it that Men think they know Everything and have the need to be Right All the Time?
Q. Why is it that Men think they know Everything? and have the need to be Right All the Time? ...
A. 15 January 2012: Patriarchy teaching that men are entitled to anything and everything, as a generalization. This website probably does a better job explaining it, check their FAQs.
http://finallyfeminism101.wordpress.com/... (read in full...)
My FWB wants to have a baby with me!!
Q. ok so im 18 and ive been a friends with benifit with this guy but it has grown into where neither of us are with anybody else but he wont say that we are in a relationship... so now we are having trouble seeing each other because his family doesnt ...
A. 15 January 2012: I wouldn't trust him as far as I could throw him. Get yourself on the pill ASAP or get on IUD or a shot of depo. Seriously. You don't want to risk your future on this.
Frankly I don't see what you're getting out this other than stress. You don'... (read in full...)
How do you politely reject someone on the grounds that they might not be "your type"?
Q. How do you politely reject someone on the grounds that they might not be "your type"? If a woman showed an interest in me, how can I say in a nice way (if I'm not interested) that she is not my type? If a woman told me I was not "her type", I ...
A. 15 January 2012: We have, several times, if you'd actually read the earlier responses.... (read in full...)
Why do guys lie?
Q. A guy asked me out, he is 6 years older than me and very attractive. We went on a first date. He said he was looking for a relationship. But when I didn't want to have sex on the first date, he laughed his head off and dumped me. Why are guys so ...
A. 15 January 2012: Because he is a jerk who only wanted to have sex and thought if he promised you a relationship, you'd immediately drop trou. And then he'd dump you anyways. That kind of guy is someone we like to call a player or a misogynist, who believes women are ... (read in full...)
What prepartions should I make for losing my virginity?
Q. Hi Agony Aunts. Just after the stage of dating, myself and my partner proposed taking things further. We became really intimate. He became very sexually aroused. I didn't though :-/ We were in a situation where we almost had sex although I bottl...
A. 15 January 2012: Before you have sex with someone for the first time you should make it a rule that he can thoroughly arouse you (even bring you to orgasm) before you even consider sex. Because really, you really really really shouldn't (even can't) have sex unless ... (read in full...)
Can the hymen be ruptured during a pelvic exam?
Q. is it possible for a pap smear to break your hymen? i got one yesterday, failed to tell them i was a virgin and as soon as she opened the speculum i was in so much pain i wanted to cry. i had a little bleeding after the test and now im fine but i ...
A. 15 January 2012: Yes, it's possible, though it's more likely that you were just very very tense when she inserted the speculum and that's what caused the intense pain. Generally the hymen actually has very few nerve endings. The pain many people feel from a speculum ... (read in full...)
His continued porn use is eating away my love for him!
Q. I need some male answere to understand what is going on or going wrong in our relationship. I try to make it simple. Here are the facts: We are married for a long time,still in love, have lots of hot sex (never boring!!!!), I am still very attra...
A. 14 January 2012: There is no debate, pornography in it's current form (rather than inherently) is bad for women and bad for relationships, in almost all circumstances. The only debate is whether users can accept the facts or be in denial. It's like having a debate ... (read in full...)
How do you politely reject someone on the grounds that they might not be "your type"?
Q. How do you politely reject someone on the grounds that they might not be "your type"? If a woman showed an interest in me, how can I say in a nice way (if I'm not interested) that she is not my type? If a woman told me I was not "her type", I ...
A. 14 January 2012: My boyfriend is younger and WAY more energetic than me. It actually works out better that way (the energy, the age doesn't matter much). We complement each other well that way. I get him to relax more than he otherwise would, he gets me to go do ... (read in full...)
How do you politely reject someone on the grounds that they might not be "your type"?
Q. How do you politely reject someone on the grounds that they might not be "your type"? If a woman showed an interest in me, how can I say in a nice way (if I'm not interested) that she is not my type? If a woman told me I was not "her type", I ...
A. 13 January 2012: "I'm really flattered, but I only like you as a friend."
BUT, I think it could be beneficial not to reject someone just on their type. Lots of people wind up with someone who is not their type at all and you never know unless you give a try. Unl... (read in full...)
His continued porn use is eating away my love for him!
Q. I need some male answere to understand what is going on or going wrong in our relationship. I try to make it simple. Here are the facts: We are married for a long time,still in love, have lots of hot sex (never boring!!!!), I am still very attra...
A. 13 January 2012: Wikipedia and is not peer-reviewed science, nor is a pop psychology novel. Testosterone can fuel a higher sex drive, there is some evidence it can be a cause of aggression, but there is no peer-reviewed science that has been able to show that ... (read in full...)
My FWB wants to have a baby with me!!
Q. ok so im 18 and ive been a friends with benifit with this guy but it has grown into where neither of us are with anybody else but he wont say that we are in a relationship... so now we are having trouble seeing each other because his family doesnt ...
A. 13 January 2012: That's up there among worst reasons to have a baby EVER. This man can't even commit to being your boyfriend and he wants to commit to raising a child with you?! That's idiotic. Someone who can't handle even making a verbal commitment to a vague ... (read in full...)
His continued porn use is eating away my love for him!
Q. I need some male answere to understand what is going on or going wrong in our relationship. I try to make it simple. Here are the facts: We are married for a long time,still in love, have lots of hot sex (never boring!!!!), I am still very attra...
A. 13 January 2012: Testosterone does not drive a "need for variety." There is NO such finding in any scientific study (and no, evolutionary psychology is not an actual science). There was one statistical analysis done on whether the "spread the seed" theory could ... (read in full...)
His continued porn use is eating away my love for him!
Q. I need some male answere to understand what is going on or going wrong in our relationship. I try to make it simple. Here are the facts: We are married for a long time,still in love, have lots of hot sex (never boring!!!!), I am still very attra...
A. 12 January 2012: I always recommend the book The Porn Trap to couples struggling with this if therapy is not an option. It helps both of you understand the other. Him to understand a) why he feels a compulsion to use it despite knowing how it's devastating you and ... (read in full...)
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