| Latest articles: About Facebook and relationships
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 October 2011: While generally facebook is considered a fun way to keep in touch with friends and share photos, it can be a huge source of turmoil in a relationship. If I had a dime for every time I read "I'm worried because I saw something on her/his facebook..." ...
Is Pornography cheating?
This question has 100 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 May 2011: The age old question on this site seems to be "is pornography use cheating?" My response to that first depends on how you define cheating. A relationship is basically a sexual contract, an agreement between two (sometimes more) people. These people ...
|
Is it fair of me to ask my B/f to keep on using condoms, to "save" ourselves for our wedding night?
Q. I'd kind of planned on waiting until marriage to have sex, but then I met my first boyfriend. We're an LDR couple and I lost my virginity to him late last year. Don't get me wrong, I don't regret it at all, it felt so right when it happened! We're ...
A. 5 April 2012: DanielPew what I meant is that it's a big difference for men AND for women, not that it doesn't make a difference.... (read in full...)
How can people compare porn to a romance novel?
Q. How can people compare porn to a romance novel? A romance novel is harmless words on a page, porn is a picture of a real person with no clothes on who exists who can easily be compared. Same with a vibrator it's a piece of plastic....
A. 23 March 2012: "While the majority of porn is men exercising sexual domination of women"
"feminists want power, not equality and they hide behind favourable statistics and completely ignore any that refute their ideology."
But even though almost all heterose... (read in full...)
How can people compare porn to a romance novel?
Q. How can people compare porn to a romance novel? A romance novel is harmless words on a page, porn is a picture of a real person with no clothes on who exists who can easily be compared. Same with a vibrator it's a piece of plastic....
A. 23 March 2012: I've never "used" a romance novel or erotica, but I used to use porn and I did enjoy it. That doesn't change a thing. Liking something does not mean it is no longer problematic. It's not based on a country by country thing, the feminist groups in ... (read in full...)
How can people compare porn to a romance novel?
Q. How can people compare porn to a romance novel? A romance novel is harmless words on a page, porn is a picture of a real person with no clothes on who exists who can easily be compared. Same with a vibrator it's a piece of plastic....
A. 22 March 2012: I think part of the problem is I personally define pornography VERY differently from how it's being used here. I think pornography here is being used to mean psychological sexual stimulation, and if that was the case I could agree that romance ... (read in full...)
How can people compare porn to a romance novel?
Q. How can people compare porn to a romance novel? A romance novel is harmless words on a page, porn is a picture of a real person with no clothes on who exists who can easily be compared. Same with a vibrator it's a piece of plastic....
A. 22 March 2012: Male anon, did you even read the article I linked to? That CBS thing is more of an editorial on the official report that says that yes, the gender gap does exist. Basically saying the same old tired things that have always been used as justification ... (read in full...)
How can people compare porn to a romance novel?
Q. How can people compare porn to a romance novel? A romance novel is harmless words on a page, porn is a picture of a real person with no clothes on who exists who can easily be compared. Same with a vibrator it's a piece of plastic....
A. 21 March 2012: I don't have a choice about things I NEED like clothing, food, and in this day and age a computer (I don't like coffee). I buy local when I can and I buy second hand/used when I can rather than new. I do the best I can with the options I have.
... (read in full...)
How can people compare porn to a romance novel?
Q. How can people compare porn to a romance novel? A romance novel is harmless words on a page, porn is a picture of a real person with no clothes on who exists who can easily be compared. Same with a vibrator it's a piece of plastic....
A. 21 March 2012: I don't think romance novels are totally harmless, nor are they something I use or have ever used. I take offense at you calling it my hobby since I have never defended them and especially never used them. But they are not something I will consider ... (read in full...)
Sex hurts..
Q. I lost my virginity about a month ago. since then, i've had sex about 4 times. the problem is that i have pain during penetration. he can get it all the way in but he is not able to thrust because it hurts me. will this go away or is there something ...
A. 21 March 2012: The most likely thing is that you are not aroused enough. Make sure you are getting enough foreplay. In the beginning he should bring you close to orgasm before penetration to make certain you're aroused enough. You should also invest in a good ... (read in full...)
How can people compare porn to a romance novel?
Q. How can people compare porn to a romance novel? A romance novel is harmless words on a page, porn is a picture of a real person with no clothes on who exists who can easily be compared. Same with a vibrator it's a piece of plastic....
A. 21 March 2012: If that fraction is 4/5 than yes, women earn 1/5 less money than men, about 20%. That data is incredibly easy to find. It's not a small amount. I'm not sure where your 2/3 number comes from, since every search I've done on the topic shows that men ... (read in full...)
How should I phrase the question, to let him know he can say no?
Q. I have this friend who offered up his house for me to stay at when I drive through to visit my sister. We aren't that great of friends but only because we live pretty far away. We get on incredibly well and I had a tiny crush on him/we'd flirt a lot ...
A. 21 March 2012: Go for it! Take a deep breath, be confident. He wouldn't have offered his house if he didn't mean it. Would you ever offer your couch to someone you disliked unless there were extenuating circumstances? Probably not. I'm sure he just enjoys your ... (read in full...)
I feel insecure about my 34C breasts!
Q. Hi this is gonna seem a really cliché question. I've always been really small like a size 6/8 and 5 2" so this is going to seem inevitable but I am really self conscious about the size of my boobs. On paper they should be fine ( 34C) but they look ...
A. 20 March 2012: I fluctuate between a B and a C depending on what time of the month it is and I do actually know what you're talking about, meaning I think as women we tend to underestimate the size of our own breasts. Given how much exposure we have to silicone ... (read in full...)
Dumping a guy over pornography use?
Q. Has anyone here ever dumped anyone over pornography use? How bad was it? I want to find a man who doesn't use it so I can feel special for once....
A. 20 March 2012: It's from the Kinsey institute and matches with several other large studies (over 11,000 participants in each). "Currently" should have been "regularly," meaning at least once per month.... (read in full...)
How can people compare porn to a romance novel?
Q. How can people compare porn to a romance novel? A romance novel is harmless words on a page, porn is a picture of a real person with no clothes on who exists who can easily be compared. Same with a vibrator it's a piece of plastic....
A. 20 March 2012: I literally cannot think of a more privileged group of people in history than white men. Men who think the world is pitted against them are like white people who complain that black people are racist against them.
http:... (read in full...)
Do I have the right to ask for a smear test?
Q. I have been experiencing bleeding after intercourse, black blood occasionally through the day, weight loss, pain when having sex, pain when passing urine and don't even mention my bowel habits! I have been going to the doctors for about 18 months n...
A. 20 March 2012: You should wait to see what the exam showed, but yeah you should DEMAND they give you one. If they won't, find someone who will.... (read in full...)
I can't believe my wife might may be harboring one of the strains of HPV virus just because she gave a few guys blowjobs before she met me!
Q. My wife is always getting cold sores in her mouth. We've always just used over the counter medicine to control/heal it. Finally, after dealing with this for a few years, I took her to see our doctor. He did a checkup, checked out her cold sores, ...
A. 20 March 2012: More than half of all sexually active people have HPV. HPV does not have anything to do with cold sores. Cold sores are caused by a herpes virus that around 70% of people have, most pick it up as children, not from giving blow jobs.
HPV is highl... (read in full...)
How should I phrase the question, to let him know he can say no?
Q. I have this friend who offered up his house for me to stay at when I drive through to visit my sister. We aren't that great of friends but only because we live pretty far away. We get on incredibly well and I had a tiny crush on him/we'd flirt a lot ...
A. 20 March 2012: If he already offered up his house, what more is there to ask? ... (read in full...)
Can a girl get pregnant from being fingered with sperm on the fingers?
Q. so my girlfriend and i were having sex... i pulled out and came on her stomach... i got some on my hand which we wiped off with a towel and wiped off her stomach then about 2 minutes later i started to finger her again and fingered her for a while.. ...
A. 20 March 2012: First off, the pull out method does not work unless you want to get pregnant. If you had any sperm from ejaculating earlier (say from masturbating) your precum could get her pregnant. You need to use condoms, no matter what, any time you have sex. ... (read in full...)
I stopped anything from happening because I was worried about being too wet, is he going to be pissed off?
Q. hello everyone, im with a long distance relationship with my boyfriend now hes back in my country to spend holiday with me. i love him and he loves me too. he said that he likes me so much. lie evrytime i touch him. theres a connection. the spark ...
A. 20 March 2012: Getting wet is a GOOD thing. You need to be wet in order to have sex or it WILL hurt. Put down some towels if you are concerned. It's sort of the female equivalent to a man getting an erection, it needs to happen for sex to occur.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend does not study and it bugs me, what can I do to motivate him?
Q. hey so, my bf and I go to school together and we have 2 classes together. It really bugs me because I'm really serious about school like I'm always studyingand trying to get really good grades, but my bf on the other hand would rather play video ...
A. 20 March 2012: Sorry but there's not much you can do. He has to decide to want to study on his own or he won't do it. Some unmotivated people will respond well to positive encouragement (aka bribery), you could try that. But bugging him about it will almost ... (read in full...)
Why is having sex painful?
Q. why is sex painful...
A. 20 March 2012: The most obvious thing would be that you aren't aroused enough. The average woman takes 20 minutes to be fully aroused. This will loosen your vagina and lubricate it. You should also try to add some good lube. If neither of those things help, you ... (read in full...)
How can people compare porn to a romance novel?
Q. How can people compare porn to a romance novel? A romance novel is harmless words on a page, porn is a picture of a real person with no clothes on who exists who can easily be compared. Same with a vibrator it's a piece of plastic....
A. 20 March 2012: The only place women are outperforming men is that there are more women in college by a small margin for the very first time in history. Interesting how for centuries when education was a very male dominated thing it was just the natural order and ... (read in full...)
How can people compare porn to a romance novel?
Q. How can people compare porn to a romance novel? A romance novel is harmless words on a page, porn is a picture of a real person with no clothes on who exists who can easily be compared. Same with a vibrator it's a piece of plastic....
A. 20 March 2012: The truth is the only people who ever bring up romance novels are pro-porn people who simply wish to derail the conversation. I've never heard anyone actually dealing with a porn problem bring up romance novels. It is an enormous red herring because ... (read in full...)
Is it normal for an attached man to pay for lapdances?
Q. Hi- I'm interested in guys' opinion on this one. Do ou think it's normal for a guy who has a gf to still go to strip clubs on the weekend with his guy friends and to pay for lap dances? I could understand the bachelor party thing and for single guys ...
A. 20 March 2012: If a woman is in a monogamous relationship with a man, that usually means he is not being sexual in any way with another woman. If another woman is using her body to physically bring that man to an orgasm, he has been sexual with another woman. If ... (read in full...)
Dumping a guy over pornography use?
Q. Has anyone here ever dumped anyone over pornography use? How bad was it? I want to find a man who doesn't use it so I can feel special for once....
A. 20 March 2012: I don't think the OP means someone who has never looked, I think she means someone who currently does not look. Approximately 30% of men do not currently use pornography. My current boyfriend does not, all the ones before him did I think, though I ... (read in full...)
Men - if you have a really attractive girlfriend, do you still use porn? Do you feel guilty for using it?
Q. Hi are there any men who have really attractive girlfriends as in lots of other people find them attract aswell and they are amazing in bed that still use porn? If so why don't you feel guilty for getting off on others? Also women who don't mind ...
A. 20 March 2012: No Idea, I didn't ask him about it, he just said it. It's not like I demanded he not think about people while he masturbates, he just said that's what he thinks. I also didn't demand he not watch porn, he already didn't watch because he didn't like ... (read in full...)
Men - if you have a really attractive girlfriend, do you still use porn? Do you feel guilty for using it?
Q. Hi are there any men who have really attractive girlfriends as in lots of other people find them attract aswell and they are amazing in bed that still use porn? If so why don't you feel guilty for getting off on others? Also women who don't mind ...
A. 20 March 2012: It's not a matter of fair or not fair, it's just the way it is and the way it is just happens to not be working for you or the majority of women who dislike porn. If he won't listen, won't go to therapy, and it's hurting you, find a new boyfriend. ... (read in full...)
Do you always have to sleep on the same side of the bed?
Q. This is gonna seem a real dumb question but recently I've noticed that depending on if I'm single or in a relationship I sleep on different sides of my bed. I thought it was quite amusing but wondered if it was normal or if there was any reason for ...
A. 20 March 2012: I could see it if your bf had slept over and you liked the smell on the pillow or something.... (read in full...)
Is it normal for an attached man to pay for lapdances?
Q. Hi- I'm interested in guys' opinion on this one. Do ou think it's normal for a guy who has a gf to still go to strip clubs on the weekend with his guy friends and to pay for lap dances? I could understand the bachelor party thing and for single guys ...
A. 20 March 2012: Some men do that, but that doesn't mean it's acceptable. Another woman is physically getting him off. Paid or not, I don't see how that can be seen as anything other than cheating. Either it's cheating or strippers aren't considered human.... (read in full...)
How can people compare porn to a romance novel?
Q. How can people compare porn to a romance novel? A romance novel is harmless words on a page, porn is a picture of a real person with no clothes on who exists who can easily be compared. Same with a vibrator it's a piece of plastic....
A. 20 March 2012: If we lived in a post feminist world then gendered and sexist terms like "cunt" would not hold any power, there wouldn't be an epidemic of violence against women, women's bodies wouldn't be bought and sold like livestock, and pornography in its ... (read in full...)
How can people compare porn to a romance novel?
Q. How can people compare porn to a romance novel? A romance novel is harmless words on a page, porn is a picture of a real person with no clothes on who exists who can easily be compared. Same with a vibrator it's a piece of plastic....
A. 19 March 2012: It's a complicated issue. Basically this argument arises when the pro-porn person believes the only reason an anti-porn person is that way is because they don't understand. The problem is there is nothing like porn. There is really nothing to ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants to go to a strip club and I'm not sure how to handle it
Q. My boyfriend and i have been dating for over a year now and he is going away with some friends in august. I know it is awhile away but lastnight we were all sitting around a fire and his buddies brought up going to a strip club while they were gone ...
A. 19 March 2012: "They do not respect a stripper." If these women are so undeserving of respect, what does that make the men who are so desperate for their company that they pay for it? It is not women in this case who are insecure, but the men who visit strip ... (read in full...)
Can you feel when something has happened to your soulmate, even if you don`t know them yet?
Q. This morning/night I woke up at like 3:30 am for no reason whatsoever and just instinctively knew that something had happened to, dare I say, my soulmate. I know this sounds crazy and everything, and no, I wasn`t drunk or high (I know there will be ...
A. 19 March 2012: Sometimes dreams can feel very vivid and real and evoke very strong emotions, but that doesn't mean it has anything to do with real life events.... (read in full...)
How to get over his porn use?
Q. Does anybody have any tips on how to get over your boyfriend's porn use? I know some women aren't bothered or used to be and aren't now, I want to be one of these women to move on....
A. 19 March 2012: I don't think you can. Most women either don't mind or they do and that doesn't seem to change. I've heard of a few women learning to tolerate it, but rarely fully. Mostly the ones who change their minds just seem to learn to pretend it isn't ... (read in full...)
Virginity and being fingered
Q. Am 17, been fingered b4, and am wondring......even after being fingered, is the hymen still in place??? Can you stil say u r a virgin?...
A. 19 March 2012: Your hymen does not affect your virginity, many women have had their hymen broken as children from falling or bike riding or gymnastics. Virginity isn't even a physical thing, it's just a mental thing or whether or not a penis has been in your ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants to go to a strip club and I'm not sure how to handle it
Q. My boyfriend and i have been dating for over a year now and he is going away with some friends in august. I know it is awhile away but lastnight we were all sitting around a fire and his buddies brought up going to a strip club while they were gone ...
A. 19 March 2012: Except there's a pretty serious difference between talking to someone whose job depends on you thinking they like it (because anyone in a strip club might be paying them) versus someone who no longer has to strip for money. You wouldn't go into a ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants to go to a strip club and I'm not sure how to handle it
Q. My boyfriend and i have been dating for over a year now and he is going away with some friends in august. I know it is awhile away but lastnight we were all sitting around a fire and his buddies brought up going to a strip club while they were gone ...
A. 18 March 2012: To me strip clubs are a dealbreaker. You shouldn't make yourself feel bad and resent him just because you don't want to be thought of as not cool. Women are humans, not scenery or objects. It's incredibly degrading.
Also to think that other th... (read in full...)
Should a guy in a comitted relationship be texting another girl?
Q. What's going to far? My question is this.. if you have a girlfriend and a girl from high school or something texts you or sees you out and tries talking to you what is going too far? In the texting thought is even texting back a bad idea and ...
A. 18 March 2012: If you are talking about yourself, I think you are being a little controlling. It is totally fine for a guy in a committed relationship to hang out with, text, talk to and have female friends in general. So long as nothing else is going on, I see no ... (read in full...)
A cologne to turn my girlfriend on?
Q. Hi Guys, This question is for women to answer and men are welcome too :D. Do you know a specific perfume that i can use to turn my girlfriend on and really worked for you? ...
A. 18 March 2012: I'm not big on perfumes. I prefer the way my boyfriend smells on his own, pheromones and such.
If you want her to love the cologne, have her come with you to pick it out.... (read in full...)
I don't get the option of having children but my B/f still expects me to keep up a relationship
Q. I am in a relationship with a guy with 2 sons who live with him. I don't have children of my own. He doesn't want more children. He wants to move to put the children to a new school and he has a found a job in the area, which is 2 hours drive ...
A. 18 March 2012: This is one of those unfortunate situations where neither of you is being wrong. You just have different things you want from your relationship unfortunately. Yes he is asking too much, but he's not demanding it. He has the right to move to better ... (read in full...)
Is this masturbation pattern normal?
Q. Well, I'm 17 and i have a problem. I masturbate every night. I constantly think of my gf, especially of the days we have sex. I went on a college tour and i didn't masturbate. I went on a trip and i didn't do it. Only at night when im most ...
A. 18 March 2012: Normal. Most guys I know say they don't masturbate on school trips. It would be more of a problem if you masturbated every day and then when the school trip came, you struggled not to masturbate.... (read in full...)
Is it fair of me to ask my B/f to keep on using condoms, to "save" ourselves for our wedding night?
Q. I'd kind of planned on waiting until marriage to have sex, but then I met my first boyfriend. We're an LDR couple and I lost my virginity to him late last year. Don't get me wrong, I don't regret it at all, it felt so right when it happened! We're ...
A. 18 March 2012: I think I see where you're coming from and speaking as a woman, I can tell you there is an enormous difference for you the first time you have sex without a barrier method. It's very different and imo much more intimate feeling. It's not just a ... (read in full...)
I just want to kiss this older man at work, Just Once!
Q. There's this man at work who has really touched me..not sexually but mentally. He reminded me to value myself. I'm dating someone but I have moments where I doubt that man...anyway, this man is much older. But, I can tell he's attracted to me but ...
A. 18 March 2012: There's no such as thing as just one kiss. It always means more to someone. Resist the temptation. You don't owe him anything just because he's nice to you and even if you only mean for there to be one kiss, I doubt he'll be happy just with one kiss ... (read in full...)
Men, would you cheat on your partner if you knew you wouldn't get caught?
Q. This is a question for the men that have been married for quite some time or are in a long term relationship. Are you truely happy/satisfied with your wife sexually? I was reading an article the other day about "spicing" your relationship up....
A. 18 March 2012: Not a guy, but just pointing out that women cheat in almost equal numbers now. Most men won't cheat, only 22% of married men have done it in their current marriage according to the most recent surveys. Not all men are lying scumbags like your ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend wont spend mothers day with me - am I overreacting?
Q. This time last year my grandmother died and it is mothers day weekend as everyone knows and my mum is working all day today and tomorrow. My boyfriend knows how upset i am, i was crying yesterday because I am just feeling quite lonely. At Christmas ...
A. 17 March 2012: He's doing everything right here, he wants to be there for his mom, but he wants you to be there too. You're acting immature by holding a grudge against him for not wanting to eat for months now and punishing him for behaving well just because of ... (read in full...)
I want to get a credit card ...
Q. i would like to get a credit card but i dont want my husband to know, hes a bit controling.... even though we share a bank account or at least i think we do..... would he be alerted if i got one or used it?...
A. 17 March 2012: I strongly suggest you take a look at the links Abella posted for how to get help. This is not an issue of credit cards but of your husband denying your right to autonomy. You are not a slave, you have the right to be in control of your own life. ... (read in full...)
What are men really getting off on when they watch porn?
Q. Hi a few questions, when men watch porn what are they actually getting off on? Is it the sight of a woman being dirty, are they pretending they are the man in the porno? My boyfriend says it's just the sight and pretending he is having sex with them ...
A. 16 March 2012: There have been a lot of studies on why people like porn so much.
http://scienceblogs.com/cortex/2009/08/porn_and_mirror_neurons.php... (read in full...)
Am I having safe oral sex by not using a condom?
Q. i give my partner oral sex fairly regularly. He is one of two that I have given oral sex too. (The first guy was an ex boyfriend and I only did it twice with him) Anyway. Both guys are clear of STDs. My current bf and I don't use a condom for oral. ...
A. 16 March 2012: There are some risks when engaging in oral sex without a condom. If you want to be safe, you can have him get checked by a doctor for STDs. It's less risky than unprotected sex, but it has some risk.... (read in full...)
Why do guys find flexible girls sexy?
Q. Why do guys find it sexy if a girl can do the splits or can wrap their legs around their neck, basically be flexible?...
A. 16 March 2012: They think it makes them wilder in bed, can do more unusual positions and such I think.... (read in full...)
I want to get a credit card ...
Q. i would like to get a credit card but i dont want my husband to know, hes a bit controling.... even though we share a bank account or at least i think we do..... would he be alerted if i got one or used it?...
A. 10 March 2012: Instead of a credit card you need a divorce. Your husband is being mentally abusive. He sounds like he's basically trying to keep you prisoner in 1940. You are not his domestic slave, you an individual human being who deserves to make her own money ... (read in full...)
Men - if you have a really attractive girlfriend, do you still use porn? Do you feel guilty for using it?
Q. Hi are there any men who have really attractive girlfriends as in lots of other people find them attract aswell and they are amazing in bed that still use porn? If so why don't you feel guilty for getting off on others? Also women who don't mind ...
A. 2 March 2012: Porn use generally won't change depending on how much sex a person is getting or how attractive their partner is or how happy they are in a relationship. For many it is a compulsive habit built up by many years of use. It's incredibly difficult to ... (read in full...)
| *erson12345's friends
These are mutual friends, so *erson12345 has
added them and they have added *erson12345!
|
![[?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] agony aunt](/avatars/7bb1e9ea-6c2f-43b8-a4f7-0635b7eff08c.png){kind=small}
