| Latest articles: About Facebook and relationships
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 October 2011: While generally facebook is considered a fun way to keep in touch with friends and share photos, it can be a huge source of turmoil in a relationship. If I had a dime for every time I read "I'm worried because I saw something on her/his facebook..." ...
Is Pornography cheating?
This question has 100 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 May 2011: The age old question on this site seems to be "is pornography use cheating?" My response to that first depends on how you define cheating. A relationship is basically a sexual contract, an agreement between two (sometimes more) people. These people ...
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B/f is dating 2 of us at the same time. He says he's just "pretending" to date her!
Q. I'v been dating a guy almost a month now, recently, he told me that he was dating a different girl and he's doing that to please her he disclosed to me that im the one he loves even though he's pretending to be dating her. Should i believe him? I ...
A. 22 February 2012: "recently he told me not to break his heart" And you told him not to cheat on you I assume. This guy is a jerk. I know you're scared to lose him, but with this guy you're not losing anything.... (read in full...)
I'm insecure about my penis size and terrified of being called "small". Is it okay to want a woman who doesn't have a past so that she don't compare my size to others?
Q. Im a 21 year old virgin guy and lately ive been trying to figure out what I want in a girlfriend before I know for sure that im ready to have sex. While trying to figured things out for myself ive realized something. I have female friends that joke ...
A. 21 February 2012: No one has said you can't feel if a guy is deep. But you can feel it in the sense of pressure/movement, not because it actually really feels like being touched on your skin. Past the first few inches you have the g-spot and past that there's not ... (read in full...)
How equal should things be? I give her oral, but she just gives me excuses for why not, when I seek same from her.
Q. Hi, I'm wondering whether I should expect oral sex for giving oral sex. Me and my girlfriend don't have sex often, but my sex drive is a lot more than hers, so she uses her hands to satisfy me. I've told her I really enjoy oral sex and she gave...
A. 20 February 2012: Having a man ejaculate into your mouth can (not for everyone of course) be REALLY unpleasant, it's worse with some guys than others and worse for some women than others. It's not unheard of for women to actually vomit from it.
Have you thought ... (read in full...)
How can I compete with my wife's new sex toy? It gets more action than me
Q. I got my wife a new toy. It seems the toy is getting more action than me. However, she has NO problem giving me oral sex. I seem to get more oral sex now and she seems to use her toy more. Is this normal?...
A. 20 February 2012: I agree with Honeypie. Do you mean it's getting more action solo or during sex? If during sex, can you use it on her? A lot of times with a vibrator it's not that it gives better orgasms, just that it's easier and faster.... (read in full...)
The girl I have a crush on keeps teasing me about a blonde girl I danced with. What does this mean?
Q. I am 18 [male] and have a crush at work [a girl my age]. We have gotten friendly before on a night out, but nothing has happened since. I have sort of fallen for her since then, and wish I had made a move at the time. Before we got friendly...
A. 20 February 2012: Sounds like she could just like you back. You could say, "brunettes are more my type. Speaking of which, want to go out for coffee?" Or something a little less ridiculous sounding. There's no reason you can't make a move still even if you didn't ... (read in full...)
What happens to single girls at "singles" tables at weddings?
Q. I'm attending my first wedding, it's my cousins wedding. I'm 19 (almost 20) I'm a college student and i live at home with my family, so i'm not sure if i will be seated with my family? or the "singles" table. do they have "singles tables? haha i'm ...
A. 19 February 2012: The singles tables aren't single in the sense that they have no partner but in the sense that they didn't come with family or a partner. As in individual people. Families and friends are generally seated together (as in people on the same ... (read in full...)
Why is my vagina this color?
Q. Hi, I've recently become quite concerned about the colour of my vagina. Its a very dark pink/red colour, as far as i'm aware it has always been that colour, it doesn't hurt, I haven't slept with anyone in years and I always use protection. Is it no...
A. 19 February 2012: What other girl's vulvas have you seen? Outside of porn most women's vulvas aren't light pink or skin color, there is no color "most" women's vulvas are. They come in all colors from brown to purple-ish to dark pink to reddish to light pink to skin ... (read in full...)
Is oral sex ok with a UTI?
Q. Hi , Im 18 and I`ve got a urinary tract infection and I was told to avoid sex for a week but Im just wondering is it okay to have my boyfriend just lick me out instead of sex?...
A. 19 February 2012: If you use a dental dam sure. But think of all that bacteria in your mouth! Have him use an antibacterial mouthwash beforehand. If he uses fingers, have him thoroughly wash his hands with soap first. If you find you're prone to UTIs you should ask ... (read in full...)
B/f is dating 2 of us at the same time. He says he's just "pretending" to date her!
Q. I'v been dating a guy almost a month now, recently, he told me that he was dating a different girl and he's doing that to please her he disclosed to me that im the one he loves even though he's pretending to be dating her. Should i believe him? I ...
A. 19 February 2012: Start dating someone else. What the heck does that even mean, only pretending to date someone? Either you are or you aren't. Your bf is a liar and just trying to date two girls at once.... (read in full...)
Do I tell this guy I'm pregnant?
Q. I might be pregnant. It's outside of a relationship, although we're good friends. I don't have anyone else to talk to this about and I'm freaking out. I'm two weeks late. I've already gone to the doctor and discussed everything which you could ...
A. 19 February 2012: Wait until you know if you're pregnant before you do anything.
But if you are, yes you should tell him so he can help you emotionally and with expenses.... (read in full...)
How can I get bigger boobs and better hair?
Q. I was just wondering...how can I look more attractive? I feel I look good but how can I get bigger boobs naturally? Also how can I make my hair thicker and volumed?...
A. 19 February 2012: There are loads of hair vitamins you can buy and scalp stimulating shampoos. Just make sure you're careful about the doseage and read the instructions. The reviews on those things are actually really good. You can also buy volumizing products. You ... (read in full...)
I'm insecure about my penis size and terrified of being called "small". Is it okay to want a woman who doesn't have a past so that she don't compare my size to others?
Q. Im a 21 year old virgin guy and lately ive been trying to figure out what I want in a girlfriend before I know for sure that im ready to have sex. While trying to figured things out for myself ive realized something. I have female friends that joke ...
A. 19 February 2012: The reason you don't know about the female assessment system is because there isn't one. I don't know any women who talk honestly about their sexuality who care about penis size since penises do not cause orgasms, even among the small number of ... (read in full...)
Does anyone deserve a second chance?
Q. when someone has cheated, should you give them a second chance?...
A. 17 February 2012: It depends on the circumstances. There needs to be more information.... (read in full...)
Body fluids tend to make me gag, how do I control this?
Q. just a simpol thing that worries me slightly. Me n my boyfriend have been together for a year and our sex life is great but when ever my boyfriend cums and I see it I always seem to gag and I cant control it. (Altho when I give him a blow job it ...
A. 17 February 2012: Have you tried desensitization therapy, where you first learn techniques to calm anxiety (usually breathing techniques, you can look these up online) and then you gradually expose yourself to the things that make you uncomfortable? You would ... (read in full...)
Painful doggy style...any advice to make it better?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together around 3 months. He's been wanting to do doggy style for a while, but when we tried it was extremely painful and tugged on the bit of skin between my vagina and anus. Furthermore, my vagina seems to get ver...
A. 16 February 2012: Sounds like you're not fully aroused. You probably need more foreplay. I also recommend you not jump right into doggy, you should start in an "easier" (I mean easier in the sense that it's less likely to tug) position like missionary to get things ... (read in full...)
If I ejaculate after her menstrual cycle, can she get pregnant?
Q. if i ejaculate having unprotected sex after her menstrual cycle, will she get pregnant? ...
A. 16 February 2012: She can, yes. You should always use protection. It's even possible to get pregnant during her period. All it takes is a slight irregularity in her cycle and she's pregnant. Always, always, always use protection.... (read in full...)
Our sex life isn't working out very equitably
Q. I know I'm a dick for getting frustrated about this and I know that it's my fault, but I don't know what to do. I consider myself pretty good when it comes to sex. I've only had sex with my girlfriend, but I'm usually able to make her cum lik...
A. 15 February 2012: Has she been to a gyno? Sex should never hurt and it sounds like arousal isn't the issue here.... (read in full...)
I want to stop. How can I get over my strong desire to download porn?
Q. Hi I am a 14 year old gay teenager, and I think im addicted to porn Recently ive been watching a lot of porn and I've tried to stop several times, but I can't. I use my iPod touch to download it via app. I've deleted the app to attention to get ...
A. 15 February 2012: I would say find things you can do out of the house. When you're alone at home I'd say the temptation will be way too much. Go to the movies, go to a friend's house, anything like that. Distraction is basically the trick to getting past anything. ... (read in full...)
Do his flowers mean he's serious about me?
Q. I just started dating a guy and received flowers for valentines day. Does this mean he's serious?...
A. 15 February 2012: You're reading too much into it. It means he likes you enough to buy you flowers. It's obviously positive, but that could be anywhere from "I don't dislike you" to "I really really like you." There's no way to know from such a gesture.... (read in full...)
Female hygiene question....
Q. hi a question for the ladies on dc. This is a question on female hygiene. How uncomfortable is it for you the day after a night of sex if you dont have time for a shower in the morning. I bring this up as my partner said she didnt want sex after she ...
A. 15 February 2012: If the guy isn't wearing a condom it can feel REALLY awful to not wash after.... (read in full...)
Hoping to enjoy something denied me until now. How can my Bf make my birthday really special when we make love?
Q. My 21st birthday is on Friday. And I know I'm going to have the best sex of my life. I'm probably going to be drunk, but I hope not too drunk where I cant remember it. My problem is, though, I've never had a vaginal orgasm before. My current ...
A. 15 February 2012: Well I'm sorry to say but first off, you can't. There is no such thing as a vaginal orgasm. The existence of such a thing is a myth created by the misogynist Freud and then debunked numerous times since. There is only a clitoral orgasm, though a ... (read in full...)
Why could my husband last longer sexually with other women?
Q. My husband and I were married for over 11years went through a divorce and have been remarried for about 7 months now. During sex together he only last a few min and it has always been this away, never bothered me cause he pleases me with foreplay as ...
A. 15 February 2012: Because he is more attracted to you, because you're better in bed, because he's closer to you. Any of the above. It's a positive reflection on you.... (read in full...)
Why doesn't anyone ever like me?
Q. Okay so valentines this year has me thinking. I never had a boyfriend ever. The guys I always like never like me they always see me as their bestfriend. I am a smart girl, I'm chubby but I look good, I sing,have a nice personality,nice style I'm ...
A. 15 February 2012: You are still very young. I didn't have my first bf until I was 19. When you're in college guys will be all over you. Valentine's day is just a silly day anyways. It makes single people feel bad and couples feel stressed out. Go buy yourself ... (read in full...)
I think she has a problem with me being a Christian, is she a bad friend and should I stop hanging out with her?
Q. I'm a Christian. I'm not a bible thumper, and I love the gays, and I swear, and you wouldn't know I was a Christian if I never told you. Last summer I got a job teaching kids art at an art school, and there I met a girl my age that was really ...
A. 14 February 2012: I'm an atheist, but I would never react like that to my religious friends just as I would not expect them to react like that to me. One of my friends is of the "bible thumper" type and we simply agree to never talk about religion and we get along ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend told me I act weird when I receive blow jobs
Q. My girlfriend of 6 months is 12 years younger than I am, but very much more sexually experienced than I me. I got married young and I have only been with two women in my life while she is very adventurous and loves sex. She is also blessed with bei...
A. 14 February 2012: HUH? I don't understand your girlfriend. The only reason it's fun to give your partner oral sex is so that they will react like you did. There's no physical pleasure in it, it's just fun to see your partner enjoying how good it feels. If they just ... (read in full...)
Do men find it more attractive when their partner swallows ??
Q. me and my boyfriend have been together for ten month and a half :) we are really happy together...we have been sexuallt active together for almost five months now and i went down on him last satyrdsy for the first time. He said he really enjoyed it ...
A. 14 February 2012: Probably, but if you don't want to swallow don't. There's no way it can be physically different, it just keeps the flow going better. But if the choice is between discreetly spitting into a cup or something and swallowing and gagging and feeling ... (read in full...)
If the "I have to pee and it feels like you're stabbing me" pain during sex is g-spot stimulation, how can I cum and make it GO AWAY so I can enjoy sex?
Q. I don't get it. I've been sexually active for years and have had sex partners of ALL sizes. EVERY single time, the result is the same: I use the bathroom before intercourse JUST IN CASE I wind up squirting. ...the first 2 or 3 minutes of...
A. 13 February 2012: Squirting won't (or shouldn't) make that sensation disappear. You will need to try different sex positions that won't hit your G-spot, that will take some experimenting. Just come up with a list and try each of them.... (read in full...)
What is a squirting orgasm?
Q. dear cupid, this might be a really stupid question, but at least it will be short and sweet. well, actually, it's two questions. if anybody wants to have a go at answering, i would appreciate it greatly. ") 1. what exactly is a "squirting org...
A. 13 February 2012: It's where the woman ejaculates. Supposedly the composition is more similar to ejaculate from males than to urine. It does not come from your bladder, but is expelled through your urethra (not your vagina).
Generally in order for your body to ... (read in full...)
My G/f doesn't want a child, yet is against any form of birth control apart from me using a condom. She says if the condom rips then we can just put the baby up for adoption!!
Q. Hi, Me and my girlfriend have been together for 3 years she is 20 i am 23 we have been having sex for around 2 months, she was a virgin and wanted to wait, but a conversation we had the other day has confused me slightly. She says to me that ...
A. 13 February 2012: No there's no need to double up the pill + condoms, but condoms do occasionally fail. I refuse to take the pill because it makes me crazy, sick, and wrecks my libido (I've tried many brands, none worked). However, if the condom failed I would (and ... (read in full...)
His balding is becoming such an obsession lately...how do I get him to embrace it?
Q. I have been dating my guy for hitting 2 years now. I am 29, he is 35. His hair is thinning, just as it was when I first met him. It has become such an obsession with him over the last six months, and its driving me nuts. He has stopped going out ...
A. 12 February 2012: You can't fix anyone else's insecurities. You have already done everything you can to help. I understand this is a rough thing to go through, but he has an unhealthy obsession and needs help getting through it. I think at this point he needs some ... (read in full...)
The Contraceptive Implant
Q. Hello, me and my gf are both 16 and i would like to ask a few questions about the contraceptive implant on her behalf, i have researched a wee bit so i know a bit about it, i would just like to know the answers to a few questions i couldnt find an ...
A. 12 February 2012: They normally put the implant in her upper arm. Her mom might notice the scar. You should talk to your doctor about alternative places you can place it. Most places do not require a 16 year old to get parental consent for contraception.
If yo... (read in full...)
Broke up messily now unsure what to do about the "bad pictures".
Q. Hey guyz My ex gf has kinda "bad" photos of me and i have some of her. We broke up on pretty messy terms because she cheated and lied about it but i feel really uneasy about her having those pictures. Should i keep hers archived, hidden on so...
A. 12 February 2012: Agree with Cerberus 100%. I highly doubt she'd release your pictures on the internet, especially since she was the one who cheated.... (read in full...)
Any tips to make sex go a little smoother?
Q. Me and my boyfriend of six months recently tried to have sex..and failed. We didn't try for very long bit he just didn't fit.inside me. I don't know if it was just bad angles or am I to.tight?? Any ideas to make it go smoother?...
A. 12 February 2012: Unless you have a rare medical condition, you can't really be too tight. However, you can be not loose enough from foreplay. The average woman takes a full 20 minutes to be fully aroused. As a rule, you shouldn't go ahead with sex until your ... (read in full...)
Are we moving too fast?
Q. So me and my boyfriend have been together for almost two weeks. The other day, he said I love you. Now, this is only one of my many questions, but was it too early to say those three little words? Also, is it too soon for a first kiss? I'm 13 years ...
A. 12 February 2012: Yes it's too soon to mean it, but like someone else said, doesn't mean it's too soon to think he means it! You're young and infatuated with each other and that feeling can be very overwhelming and powerful. It's easy to mistake it for love. And so ... (read in full...)
Is it too early to be discussing marriage and children?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years, we are 23 and have discussed moving in, but he says hes not ready yet and mayb in a year or 2. Also he says at the minute he doesnt want kids or marriage in the future. It is something i would probably ...
A. 12 February 2012: No it's not too early to be discussing your future together. You've been together plenty long enough to be discussing such things. If you want to get married and have kids, you need to be able to discuss that with him. Make it clear you don't want ... (read in full...)
How can he so easily forget what we have? I'm blonde. His blonde jokes offended me
Q. Hello aunts. This guy and I met 4 months ago and things have been moving really smoothly infact, better than I had predicted. He checks on me a lot, calls me often and its the first time I've been in a relationship where the guy is so into me. We...
A. 11 February 2012: Jokes are often a way of taking an unpopular hateful idea and making it mainstream and common. It's like a virus, a few people hear a bigoted joke and start thinking, oh well it's OK then to think women with blonde hair are stupid or jews are stingy ... (read in full...)
What are the best tips top get to sleep and sleep well without medication?
Q. I have never slept well, not for years . And I just accept that this is how I am , but can anyone give me any good tips on how to get some uninterrupted sleep? 4 to 5 hours seems to be my limit. I talked about it to my doctor but he seems to thi...
A. 11 February 2012: Some people don't need very much sleep. If you don't feel like you're tired all the time, it's not a problem. My mom sleeps 4-6 hours a night.
Miamine has some great suggestions I don't have much to add to that list. I used to not sleep well at ... (read in full...)
He says this other girl has a crush on him. Can I trust him, that it's normal for this to happen?
Q. my bf says theres a girl who likes him, and i asked him if he liked her back. he said yes, as a crush. i got upset and said 'so basically youre close to loving her, you like her a lot more than a friend' he said no, that he just likes her, but not...
A. 11 February 2012: Yes it is normal to have crushes on people even in a relationship. I've had them, my boyfriend has had them, everyone gets them. Unfortunately short of shutting ourselves in boxes, in any situation where we're around other people it's bound to ... (read in full...)
Condom queries here!
Q. How far up is it normal for a condom to slip? Everytime after he pulls out its pretty near the top and I was wondering if it would put me at risk of getting pregnant. Also, he stays inside me for a little while after we're done, and I wanted to know ...
A. 10 February 2012: If you don't want to be on the pill in addition to the condom, I've heard great things about adding in these little sheets/films of spermicide. They're less messy than the creams and it's a good backup. A test might not give you a positive only six ... (read in full...)
Cheating boyfriend's passport expired 3 years ago! Should I call immigration on him?
Q. What kind of a person does this? this guy is seriously sick!!? I loved my ex bf so much.. I thought we were in love.. He was so sweet.. Told me he loved me everyday.. He never gave my a reason to doubt him. Everything was great. We had g...
A. 10 February 2012: What would immigration do...? If he's a citizen having an expired passport shouldn't be a problem.
The guy is scum, but if you seek revenge it will just make you seem childish. The best way to get revenge is to go out and have a great life wit... (read in full...)
Do men find thinning hair in women a turn off?
Q. Ok, this question is more for the guys I guess. Is a woman with thinning hair/bald completely unattractive and undesirable? I have always had thin hair, it's genetic, both parents have thin hair, with some thinning, and my grandpa was bald, my ...
A. 10 February 2012: I wouldn't necessarily come right out on the first date and say you're wearing a wig, but they make some very very high quality ones nowadays.
One of my friends has incredibly thin hair, but she's still gorgeous. If it only looks thin when it'... (read in full...)
My girlfriend and I are on a break. Looking for advice on how to handle it.
Q. My girlfriend and I have been dating for about 6 months and everything has been going really well until recently. Earlier this week she sent me a text saying that she had been thinking and that she wanted to talk. (Bad News Obviously) Well....
A. 10 February 2012: It could mean she does miss you, but her missing you doesn't always go hand in hand with wanting to repair the relationship. Sometimes love just isn't enough. I really hope we're wrong though.... (read in full...)
Should my mother allow me to spend the night with my boyfriend?
Q. Okay so I wanted to know that if your 16 years old and your boyfriend is 17, and you guys have been together for a year and seven months but have known each other for three years. Should you be able to stay the night with him. My boyfriend lives an ...
A. 10 February 2012: "They did a study, and its been proven that teenager's hormones are wayyyyy too strong to control. "
First off there has never been a study in history, ever, that proves anything. Studies PROVE nothing. They show within a reasonable statistical marg... (read in full...)
My girlfriend and I are on a break. Looking for advice on how to handle it.
Q. My girlfriend and I have been dating for about 6 months and everything has been going really well until recently. Earlier this week she sent me a text saying that she had been thinking and that she wanted to talk. (Bad News Obviously) Well....
A. 10 February 2012: I think give her space. Often times in these types of eggshell circumstances with relationships you should identify what you most want to do and do the opposite. For instance when your partner pulls away, the thing you most want to do (we all want ... (read in full...)
Condom queries here!
Q. How far up is it normal for a condom to slip? Everytime after he pulls out its pretty near the top and I was wondering if it would put me at risk of getting pregnant. Also, he stays inside me for a little while after we're done, and I wanted to know ...
A. 10 February 2012: Yes that puts you at risk for getting pregnant and yes the semen could trickle down. He needs to hold the base of the condom before he pulls out. He should also reach down and check that the condom is still in place (has not slid up) before he ... (read in full...)
My G/f doesn't want a child, yet is against any form of birth control apart from me using a condom. She says if the condom rips then we can just put the baby up for adoption!!
Q. Hi, Me and my girlfriend have been together for 3 years she is 20 i am 23 we have been having sex for around 2 months, she was a virgin and wanted to wait, but a conversation we had the other day has confused me slightly. She says to me that ...
A. 10 February 2012: She's being selfish and immature. A baby isn't a sweater. Putting a baby up for adoption is a HUGE emotional toll. It will not be an out of sight out of mind situation, you will both wonder how your biological child is doing for the rest of your ... (read in full...)
Should my mother allow me to spend the night with my boyfriend?
Q. Okay so I wanted to know that if your 16 years old and your boyfriend is 17, and you guys have been together for a year and seven months but have known each other for three years. Should you be able to stay the night with him. My boyfriend lives an ...
A. 10 February 2012: You're 16! Of course your mom won't let you spend the night with your boyfriend. You're a minor!... (read in full...)
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