| Latest articles: About Facebook and relationships
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 October 2011: While generally facebook is considered a fun way to keep in touch with friends and share photos, it can be a huge source of turmoil in a relationship. If I had a dime for every time I read "I'm worried because I saw something on her/his facebook..." ...
Is Pornography cheating?
This question has 100 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 May 2011: The age old question on this site seems to be "is pornography use cheating?" My response to that first depends on how you define cheating. A relationship is basically a sexual contract, an agreement between two (sometimes more) people. These people ...
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Men - if you have a really attractive girlfriend, do you still use porn? Do you feel guilty for using it?
Q. Hi are there any men who have really attractive girlfriends as in lots of other people find them attract aswell and they are amazing in bed that still use porn? If so why don't you feel guilty for getting off on others? Also women who don't mind ...
A. 20 March 2012: No Idea, I didn't ask him about it, he just said it. It's not like I demanded he not think about people while he masturbates, he just said that's what he thinks. I also didn't demand he not watch porn, he already didn't watch because he didn't like ... (read in full...)
Men - if you have a really attractive girlfriend, do you still use porn? Do you feel guilty for using it?
Q. Hi are there any men who have really attractive girlfriends as in lots of other people find them attract aswell and they are amazing in bed that still use porn? If so why don't you feel guilty for getting off on others? Also women who don't mind ...
A. 20 March 2012: It's not a matter of fair or not fair, it's just the way it is and the way it is just happens to not be working for you or the majority of women who dislike porn. If he won't listen, won't go to therapy, and it's hurting you, find a new boyfriend. ... (read in full...)
I have a phobia about porn actresses looking better than me! Is this normal?
Q. Hi, to the females, why don't you like you're boyfriends/husbands using porn? My reasons: because I hate the idea of them getting turned on by someone else who I think is way better looking than me it actually scares me the thought of it?...
A. 12 March 2012: I don't really know what you want us to say. I think deep down you're hoping we can speak for your boyfriend and say something that will make you feel better, but we can't do that.
Since just plain talking isn't working you have two options.... (read in full...)
Could I get pregnant on the last day of my period?
Q. Hi, I'm sixteen years old. Last month, it was the very last day of my period and there was hardly any blood but I was still spotting and I gave my boyfriend oral sex. He came in my mouth and I swallowed it and continued to suck him off. He pulled ...
A. 9 March 2012: It's highly unlikely since the amount of semen in probably small but it's possible since sperm can inside you for 5-7 days.... (read in full...)
I wet my bf's bed, how do I reduce the embarrassment?
Q. I have an embarrassing problem, that i'm almost too embarrassed to ask you all about. Last night I stayed at my boyfriend's house, we've been together 2 and a half years. I woke up to discover I had wet the bed. I was absolutley mortified, as I hav...
A. 8 March 2012: This is actually a more common occurrence than you think, it just never is talked about (for the reasons you mentioned in your question). The best thing you can do is just not bring it up and let it go away on its own. Sometimes these things happen ... (read in full...)
I'm sick, did I get it from giving my new partner oral sex?
Q. On Sunday 26th February, I had protected vaginal intercourse but unprotected oral sex with my new partner for the first time. I didn't ejaculate in her mouth nor did she orgasm whilst I was pleasuring her orally. The next morning, I noticed that...
A. 8 March 2012: I can't see a medical reason that could have happened, seems like a coincidence. But I'm not an MD. I think it's pretty common to get sick right when you start seeing someone new though, new pathogens and all.... (read in full...)
I think part of a tampon was in me from cycles ago that just came out. Am I ok?
Q. So today, the day after the last day of my period, i was peeing whn I felt something...come out. I only saw a glimpse of it, as it soon washed down into that hole at the bottom of the toilet, but it looked like a blood stained top part of a tampon. ...
A. 8 March 2012: You'll almost certainly be fine, but you should take a trip to the gyno to be sure. Gynos do a lot of lost tampon extractions, she'll probably just take a look and make sure it's all out.... (read in full...)
I kept pictures of my ex that still turn me on! Should I tell my husband?
Q. I know what I did was wrong, but don't know what to do now. I have some pictures of an ex-boyfriend. Some of them are not very appropriate, like he's naked in some, and even a close-up of his 'thing'. My husband knows about the pictures, and as...
A. 7 March 2012: Cheating? probably not. Wrong? yes. You shouldn't tell him as it will needlessly hurt him, but you should put them somewhere you won't be tempted to look at them. As in somewhere that's VERY difficult to get to and impossible to accidentally find.... (read in full...)
Is there a difference between a woman who is a 'tease' and a woman who is a 'challenge'?
Q. is there a difference between a woman who is a 'tease' and a woman who is a 'challenge'? i've been called both before and i worry about what this means and the image people have of me. i enjoy hanging out with guys but i've never been comfortable ...
A. 7 March 2012: Unless you're purposefully tormenting guys by flirting with them without the intention of ever dating, try not to worry about those kinds of labels. They are just another way for guys to try to control women's sexuality and there's no way for you to ... (read in full...)
I have a phobia about porn actresses looking better than me! Is this normal?
Q. Hi, to the females, why don't you like you're boyfriends/husbands using porn? My reasons: because I hate the idea of them getting turned on by someone else who I think is way better looking than me it actually scares me the thought of it?...
A. 7 March 2012: Well some women do consider it a form of cheating, so if you were feeling like that the hurt feelings wouldn't just magically disappear as soon as he stopped. However, being realistic, you should try to get through this and not end things. If porn ... (read in full...)
Why do I have a sour smell and discharge from my vagina ever since I started taking birth control pills?
Q. Hi I am a female 18 years old. I started taking birth control about 4 months ago and I think at about this time me and my bf noticed my private having a sour smell . I never use to notice it until we had sex but now I notice it without even having ...
A. 7 March 2012: You should never be nervous to talk to your doctor about this. They deal with this kind of thing all the time. While it's a big deal for a non-doctor, when they spend a huge amount of time around bodily fluids and smells, they become desensitized to ... (read in full...)
11 weeks pregnant and now my girlfriend wants an abortion because she's "unsure"!
Q. me and my girlfriend have planned to have a baby, we both agreed this was something we both wanted, finally it happened 11 weeks done the line she told me she's un sure about it and has arranged a meeting with the doctor about abortions. what am i ...
A. 6 March 2012: You are both very young, she may have realized this and is now thinking about waiting. Unfortunately there is nothing you can do to stop her if she wants to go ahead with it. You can only talk to her and try to figure out why she has changed her ... (read in full...)
My friends girlfriend wants to end their relationship because he used to watch porn
Q. So I have this friend (yes folks, it actually is a friend) who's going through something that neither of us can seem to really get our heads around. His girlfriend of over a year sent him a random text yesterday, immediately stating that she ...
A. 6 March 2012: It sounds like something else is going on. Maybe he's pressured her in some way in bed that made her uncomfortable, or has done something weird otherwise. Because I hate to break it to her, but close to 99% of men have seen porn in their lives. If ... (read in full...)
Am I allowed to buy myself a sex toy?
Q. Am I allowed to buy a sex toy? I'm in a relationship with a man who has suffered with extreme premature ejaculation for the past two years. He has given up trying to do anything about it even though when he was on medication it was starting to ...
A. 6 March 2012: Of course you're allowed. If he ever masturbates, then of course you are allowed the same. But the problem here is not about sex toys, it's about his attitude towards you and your sex life. Your husband sounds like a jerk. He won't believe you when ... (read in full...)
I can't stop looking at porn and engaging in conversation online with women on sex sites daily.
Q. Even when I am in a loving relationship, I can't stop looking at porn and engaging in conversation online with women on sex sites daily. I also masturbate daily. My first wife left me (18 years ago) for this reason, and my second wife is divorcing ...
A. 6 March 2012: Sounds like you may have a porn addiction. You should speak to a counselor/therapist. This affects around 15% of all porn users, you are not alone. There are also groups where people addicted to sex/porn can get together and talk about it, you'll ... (read in full...)
Is it ever OK to cheat on your spouse?
Q. My wife has basically lost interest in sex. We've talked about it a lot, and says she just doesn't think about it very much any more, and that she's at a stage in her life where she's just not interested. She still gets in the mood, but it's very ...
A. 6 March 2012: First off, no it's never OK to cheat. You either need to stay or leave. You can't just lie.
Two suggestions. One is that she go to counseling on her own to try to deal with her guilt surrounding sex. If she feels like sex is dirty and wrong, o... (read in full...)
Scared of having sex, any advice for my first time?
Q. my husband and i have been married for 8 months and he wants 2 have sex, he tells me hes not forcing me, but i feel like it,i really want to. im a virgin and i wanna have sex so bad,im scared, i've told him this, he asks me why. i tell him we're ...
A. 6 March 2012: It doesn't have to hurt. The main reason it often hurts is because the woman isn't properly aroused. It's not the hymen tearing that generally hurts, it's the fact that an unaroused vagina is very tight and dry. The act of losing your virginity does ... (read in full...)
Why does it seem that less and less people use personal restraint in relationships today?
Q. How come less and less people have self restraint these days? There are so many instances about people cheating on their bf/gf, students sleeping with teachers and most recently an acquaintance of mine who slept with her sister's husband. Why does ...
A. 6 March 2012: There are a lot of theories why instances of cheating are rising. One is that we interact with more people more frequently. With all the ways to contact people we otherwise wouldn't, phones, texts, email, video chats, and of course Facebook, there's ... (read in full...)
Starving for sex while husband jeks off in the next room!
Q. My husband sneaks off to masturbate. One morning I woke up and wanted a cup of coffee while I watched whatever show I had recorded the previous night. My husband had left about an hour before, while i was still asleep. I made my coffee, and in m...
A. 6 March 2012: Of course you're not wrong. Some people can become "addicted" to masturbating. Either your husband needs help or you need to leave. Getting so angry he storms off when you bring it up is ridiculous.... (read in full...)
Lots of sex, but he's still into porn?
Q. Hello all, My bf and I have been together for a bit over a year, we live together, and are generally very happy. My one concern with him is that he watches porn. Not a whole lot, but sometimes. We have sex most days and we do our best to live out...
A. 5 March 2012: It is unhealthy to be unable to stop, but that doesn't make it easy to stop doing. It is a very ingrained habit usually. Most guys have been doing this since they were adolescents and have completely trained themselves to depend on it to the point ... (read in full...)
He asked if I wanted to be FWB, I really want to but I'm scared because I'm a virgin! What should I do?
Q. So I've been pretty good friends with this guy for a year. We had an instant attraction and we both have wanted to be just more than friends but he had a girl friend at the time so nothing happened but he's now single. We've been flirting and ...
A. 5 March 2012: I wouldn't do it. That whole let's be FWB until I'm ready for a relationship line has been used over and over and over again by many a guy interested in getting laid. If you want to date him, you can tell him you want to wait until he's ready to ... (read in full...)
Why is my boyfriend thinking of another girl when he masturbates?
Q. I found out from a friend that my when my boyfriend masturbates he thinks of me. But he also said he thinks of someone else but that person doesnt mean anything to him and I mean more than the other person Well if that person doesnt mean anything ...
A. 5 March 2012: I'd be wary of any random friend who offers up this information uninvited. Why would your boyfriend have even told him about actual people he thinks about when he masturbates?... (read in full...)
Does a guy's penis have a mind of its own?
Q. Okay I know this is a stupid question, but I've always wondered this. I almost asked a guy friend, but didn't because I didn't want him getting the wrong idea so here goes: Does a guys penis have a mind of it's own? Do you move it like you move a ...
A. 5 March 2012: That's why it's called the head of the penis. Because it houses a brain. (I'm kidding)
It's really no different that the "control" you have over your own genitals. You can twitch them by flexing your PC muscles, but you have no conscious control ... (read in full...)
I've gone from being really wet during sex to being dry-is it an STI?
Q. Hey I know this might sound a little weird but when I use to have sex I did use to get really wet and still do when I masturbate, but latley when having sex I don't seem to get that wet? Is this normal or is there somthing wrong with me or worse ...
A. 5 March 2012: If you're able to get wet when you masturbate but not when you have sex the problem is almost certainly a lack of good foreplay. There is no physical illness that would cause dryness for only certain activities but not others. Sounds like you need ... (read in full...)
What can delay a period other than pregnancy?
Q. I read on the internet that you can miss periods for a few months after stopping the pill, and I was just wondering how accurate that is? I stopped taking the pill around the 10th of December, and had a period (or withdrawl bleed). I then got anot...
A. 5 March 2012: Good to see a doctor, but don't stress out too much over it. It's most likely just a delay after taking the pill and nothing more serious. Try not to stress too much.... (read in full...)
Is he thinking of impregnating me?
Q. My boyfriend confuses me again and again...I am 20 and he is 36. We've been dating more than half a year. When it comes to sex, we use the pull-out method. From the first, he stated that he wanted no kids. I shrugged it off since I'm young and ...
A. 4 March 2012: The pull out method is not birth control. It is pregnancy procrastination. As in, it may take longer than no birth control, but you will eventually get pregnant. You have ZERO control over whether or not you get pregnant, only he does. All he has to ... (read in full...)
I was wondering if you guys/girls think I could become pregnant.
Q. Me and my boyfriend are in a pickle. We had sex and he finished inside of me. BUT some factors will affect this. This was on 3/1/12. Today is 3/3/12. 1. I am on birth control, the pill Ortho-Tricyclen. But on 2/29/12 I couldnt take my pill. ...
A. 3 March 2012: DO NOT GET PLAN B if you are taking birth control pills. You will make yourself sick. You cannot take it while you are on the pill or you will be putting way too many hormones into your body. Plan B is just a stronger dose of the exact same hormones ... (read in full...)
Just being a perv or does he like me?
Q. What does this mean? he like me or just being a perv?? there's a cleaner at work he's only covering the full time cleaner who off sick.. every time i walk past he will suck his teeth and go " hmmm... oh yh" or mainly stop, stand still, st...
A. 3 March 2012: Sounds like a perv. If he's making you uncomfortable you should report him. This definitely falls under sexual harassment.... (read in full...)
Why do pimples with pus form when I shave private areas?
Q. Hi guys, I am in need of your help and advice. Heres the problem - Whenever I shave private areas (everytime I shave), I get little pimples around the shaven areas. They're very sore and often itchy, with a pus lump and there are quite a lot of t...
A. 3 March 2012: So stop shaving. Your hair acts as a barrier between skin and clothes to protect from chafing and friction. I used to get those too, I had to shave three times a week at least for ballet. I finally got tired of it though and just stopped shaving and ... (read in full...)
Men - if you have a really attractive girlfriend, do you still use porn? Do you feel guilty for using it?
Q. Hi are there any men who have really attractive girlfriends as in lots of other people find them attract aswell and they are amazing in bed that still use porn? If so why don't you feel guilty for getting off on others? Also women who don't mind ...
A. 2 March 2012: Porn use generally won't change depending on how much sex a person is getting or how attractive their partner is or how happy they are in a relationship. For many it is a compulsive habit built up by many years of use. It's incredibly difficult to ... (read in full...)
Is it normal that my boyfriend masturbates when he sees me on Skype?
Q. hi everyone! im in a long distance relationship. we talked on skype with my boyfriend for a year now. is it normal that sometimes he masturbate when he see me in camera? but i pretend that i dont know what hes doingwe just keep talking.. i have ...
A. 2 March 2012: Are you sure he's actually masturbating? Because that's incredibly odd and inappropriate to just start masturbating during a normal conversation. Have you tried asking him about it?... (read in full...)
Is it true that women never forget their first sexual partners?
Q. I'm a 30 y/o male, got married when I was 28 I have a 19 month old boy. I love my wife and child. But my question is the following: "when my wife and I had intimacy for the first time she made it very clear and reinstated that she wasn't a vir...
A. 2 March 2012: Remembering and longing are two very different things. I don't know many women who even enjoyed their first time, let alone look back on it wishfully. Most women I know lost their virginity to jerks, not the perfect guy they show in high school ... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend a pedophile for watching cartoon toddler porn?
Q. Is my boyfriend a pedophile for looking at cartoon porn depicting very young children? We've been going out for 6 months and since we've moved in together I've been secretly snooping on his laptop and have found many things that have disturbed me. ...
A. 2 March 2012: Who other than people who rape, pedophilia, and animal rape arousing (rather than horrifying) are the ones watching this kind of stuff? I do not buy this whole argument that if someone is aroused by it, it's alright so long as it's arousing. Sorry ... (read in full...)
Blow up over a birthday gift, and cold turkey on sex??
Q. About 3 months ago I reconnected with an old flame from about 9 years ago! He seemed really excited to run into me, stated that he's now a business owner, a promoter, a father of 2 and is currently going through a separation. I, on the other hand, ...
A. 2 March 2012: This guy obviously has very mixed feelings about getting together with you. You should leave him to his indecision and move on with your life.... (read in full...)
Job interview coming up and I've torn the clothes I needed to wear
Q. Heads up, this is not a relationship question but it is Urgent! I have a induction afternnon for a job at a local garden center (Homebase for those of us in the UK)and I just ripped my black trousers. I have no idea what to wear now, no time to ...
A. 2 March 2012: Khakis are best. Otherwise do you have any structured knee length skirts you can wear with a button down top?... (read in full...)
My b/f comments on his ex's facebook "I miss you and feel lonely without you"
Q. k so.. my boyfriend always talks to me like he is totally in love with me, always tells me he loves me, never wants to leave me, we aren't to far in the relationship and he already wants to engage to me, already wants kids with me [even though he ...
A. 1 March 2012: This guy is slime. He left his pregnant girlfriend AND strings her along to toy with her emotions, then immediately gets a new girlfriend who he also intends to impregnate. It's not romantic, he's a control freak. There are guys who are serial ... (read in full...)
Is it ok to wear my most slimming outfit 2 times in a row?
Q. I met someone from online about 2 weeks ago. We spoke for 2 weeks prior to meeting as well. We met and the date went pretty well and we seem to like each other. He doesn't live very close and I am going to go visit him this weekend and it will be ...
A. 1 March 2012: Normally I'd say guys aren't paying attention, but if he's interested he probably does remember your first date. I'm sure you have other very flattering outfits, invite over a friend to help you pick something else out.... (read in full...)
B/f cums without any physical contact
Q. My boyfriend not only is getting hard when just makingout, but he is actually cumming with no physical contact. he has no experience with girls besides kissing. he did have a surgery on his on testi because it was in him so they moved it back out ...
A. 1 March 2012: Like k_c100 says, teenage boys are very easily excitable. He will get better at "control" as he gets older. When you're making out have him pay attention and when he starts feeling like he's about to orgasm, have him stop and take a break.
It's ... (read in full...)
He doesn't get upset when I don't want sex, is this normal?
Q. I have been dating this man for four years but we have never had sex,each time we try to do it i always back down i feel am not ready and he understands me,I am worried because he dosent get upset everytime i back down is it normal?...
A. 1 March 2012: Wait, you're concerned because he's NOT being a jerk? You're boyfriend is being a decent human being and you're worried something is wrong? You just have yourself a nice guy there.... (read in full...)
Do you shave your "part" before you have sex?
Q. I asked my friend if you should shave your "part" before you have sex and she didn't know. So Im asking this site,do men like it unsaved, or shaved? I got a boyfriend and I need some advice here before we get more intense....
A. 1 March 2012: Shaving it all off will make it stubbly and rough feeling. I used to do that and it always gave him a rash. Just trim it well and you'll be fine.... (read in full...)
If your partner watches porn is it natural to get turned off and start looking elsewhere?
Q. My partner watches porn and masturbates. I have found that this has turned me off of him both sexually and emotionally. My question is this: If it is just natural for men to look at other women and have urges towards them, is it just as...
A. 29 February 2012: Cerberus I said it's NOT a biological or evolutionary trait just the same as I don't buy the biological argument for viewing porn. Nothing in my last response was about what you'd said on this thread. I don't think she should dump him and certainly ... (read in full...)
If your partner watches porn is it natural to get turned off and start looking elsewhere?
Q. My partner watches porn and masturbates. I have found that this has turned me off of him both sexually and emotionally. My question is this: If it is just natural for men to look at other women and have urges towards them, is it just as...
A. 29 February 2012: Well more than half of women don't like it, so it is normal. I'm a little confused by the response that trying to claim it's a biological response is trying to get justification for a feeling when men claim porn is natural/biological/an ... (read in full...)
Why is he looking at sites with girl's underwear???
Q. I know I'll probably be raked over the coals for this one because snooping is such a big invasion of privacy and betrayal of trust but here it goes. My boyfriend of four years has been over my apartment recently and he uses my laptop when I go to ...
A. 29 February 2012: First off, it's not really snooping if he's on YOUR computer. I think you should wait this one out a little longer. He might be looking to buy you a present, or simply looking at them for the models (likely if it was in there with searches for butts ... (read in full...)
If your partner watches porn is it natural to get turned off and start looking elsewhere?
Q. My partner watches porn and masturbates. I have found that this has turned me off of him both sexually and emotionally. My question is this: If it is just natural for men to look at other women and have urges towards them, is it just as...
A. 29 February 2012: Yes, very normal response. I wouldn't go so far as to say it has any biological basis, but yes it's a normal feeling. The majority of women do not want porn in their relationships.... (read in full...)
What can delay a period other than pregnancy?
Q. I read on the internet that you can miss periods for a few months after stopping the pill, and I was just wondering how accurate that is? I stopped taking the pill around the 10th of December, and had a period (or withdrawl bleed). I then got anot...
A. 23 February 2012: There's pretty much zero chance you're pregnant. It can take a few months after you stop the pill to get your cycle back to normal. If after after another month you still have no period I'd call your doctor.... (read in full...)
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