A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello everyone,I have been in a relationship for the past 5 months with a wonderful girl. She is attractive, works hard, cares about me immensely, and pretty much matches everything I had pictured I wanted in a girl. However recently, I have felt that old excitement begin to fade, but I feel this is normal as you grow to be more comfortable with the person and get to know them better. The big thing that worries is is that quite frankly as a guy I have been checking out other girls alot and find myself attracted to others. I still find her attractive, but at times I wonder what it would be like to be single again, or with those other girls I am very much attracted to. I care about my girlfriend very much and am still attracted to her, but I was wondering if there was any advice one could give on the matter. I really want to have that excited feeling again when I see her, and to be attracted to her and feel the urge to check her out as I do these other people Reply to this Question
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female
reader, EbonyBlossom  +, writes (7 February 2012):
 I think this happens to a lot of couples. Sometimes I think this is how my boyfriend feels about me... Although, quite honestly, I kind of do the same as well. When you settle into a relationship it takes more to keep it fresh and exciting. Try planning a holiday or even just a night out, a treat. It could also depend how much time you spend together - are with together every day or just two or three times a week? Seeing a little less of each other can keep the relationship fresh as you're not smothering each other then. However if you mention this too her be careful as you don't want to give her the impression that you don't want to see her.
A
female
reader, Stevie-Leigh +, writes (7 February 2012):
The answer to this is plain & simple, your not committed to your girlfriend.
As you say people become more confident around eachother after a while dating but you've been dating 20 whole weeks, you should still be in the honeymoon period. Don't get me wrong we all find other people attractive in or out of a relationship but if your always wondering what it would be like if you was single then I believe your not as committed as you might think, if you was you certainly wouldn't be thinking of being single.
My advice to you would be try a trial period that way you've got time on your own to either miss your lady or enjoy being away from her either way you will realise just what it is that you feel. Hope this has been some help
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2012): Hi. Breaking it down into weeks. You have been with this girl for about 20 weeks. In that time you have decided that you love her but now you find yourself checking out other girls, finding you are `very` attracted to some and fantasizing about being with them. That would suggest to me that you dont actually love the girl you are with, rather, you like and are very fond of her.
Love and fondness are two different things.
If you truly loved her, you would give up the ways of single men, which includes checking out girls you are attracted to and wondering about getting with them. You wouldnt need to do that if you had found the right one for you and you were happy to commit yourself only to her. Behaving that way, while telling a partner you love her is wrong on many levels.
However if you are only very fond of your girlfriend but no more than that, finding yourself checking out other girls and looking for The One would be somewhat understandable. It sounds as if you have just settled with this girl and spun her a love yarn. Be honest with her or risk causing all kinds of trouble later, when one of those girls stares back at you and phone numbers are exchanged!
Seriously. If there are girls out there that have been left in no doubt how you feel about them! It is only fair that you should let your partner know how you really feel about her.
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A
female
reader, Deagan +, writes (7 February 2012):
 You're young. It doesn't sound like you're ready for that sort of commitment yet. I agree with what was mentioned above, that there will always be someone prettier or nicer than your significant other, but when it all comes down to it, it's all about commitment. I've been with my beau for 6 years now and I must say, the butterflies still haven't gone away. Don't string her along, it's not fair to her. And consider this- you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (6 February 2012):
 The trick to maintaining those honeymoon butterflies is to try out new things together regularly. Even small things but to name a few, trying a new restaurant, having sex in a different place, checking a new part of your town/city, trying an activity you don't normally do together, anything like that. Just the little things can bring back those feelings of novelty in the relationship.
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A
female
reader, bardia +, writes (6 February 2012):
 You had better decide real quick what you want. You either commit to your girlfriend or you do the right and decent thing and let her go so you can pursue the attention fix you need. It is not fair to her at all for you to have these doubts and to keep dragging her along til you end up cheating on her. What is with this mentality? There will always be someone prettier, shinier, newer...love is a committment despite all that. Love upholds the beloved as their one and only-above all others. How would you feel if she was thinking about checking out other guys because she missed the "butterflies" of "love"? Attention whores seek out the thrill and the butterflies. Mature lovers grow through that into comfort and security and thinking of their beloved before themselves. Decide which you want to be and let her know, because if you want to be an attention whore she deserves better.
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