| Latest articles: About Facebook and relationships
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 October 2011: While generally facebook is considered a fun way to keep in touch with friends and share photos, it can be a huge source of turmoil in a relationship. If I had a dime for every time I read "I'm worried because I saw something on her/his facebook..." ...
Is Pornography cheating?
This question has 100 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 May 2011: The age old question on this site seems to be "is pornography use cheating?" My response to that first depends on how you define cheating. A relationship is basically a sexual contract, an agreement between two (sometimes more) people. These people ...
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I want to get a credit card ...
Q. i would like to get a credit card but i dont want my husband to know, hes a bit controling.... even though we share a bank account or at least i think we do..... would he be alerted if i got one or used it?...
A. 17 March 2012: I strongly suggest you take a look at the links Abella posted for how to get help. This is not an issue of credit cards but of your husband denying your right to autonomy. You are not a slave, you have the right to be in control of your own life. ... (read in full...)
Why do guys find flexible girls sexy?
Q. Why do guys find it sexy if a girl can do the splits or can wrap their legs around their neck, basically be flexible?...
A. 16 March 2012: They think it makes them wilder in bed, can do more unusual positions and such I think.... (read in full...)
I want to have a relationship--but I find women utterly annoying!!
Q. ok here's my problem. i've never really had a successful relationship with a woman. the reason is...the ones I've dated or known closely have gotten to be the most annoying, superficial. dishonest, and gossipy individuals I've ever met. i am ...
A. 15 March 2012: Henry Higgins, the man from My Fair Lady and the play Pygmalion? He's incredibly sexist and classist. He takes in an uneducated poor woman and makes a bet that he can turn her into a high class lady. He believes her to be extremely inferior to him ... (read in full...)
How do I approach my girlfriend's weight issue?
Q. In the 3 years we have been together my GF has been slowly letting herself go physically to the point where I no longer find her attractive. When we met in college, she was more physically active on a daily basis but now she has an office job wh...
A. 15 March 2012: I think you just need to tell her directly. No hints, just say "honey I just wanted to let you know I've noticed you're putting on extra weight. I know you're worried losing it will make your breasts smaller, but I'm concerned about the upward ... (read in full...)
Why is my boyfriend making a big deal of me posting on his Facebook wall?
Q. why is it everytime i post to my bf facebook wall. it seems hes brought it up. hes pickin on me" like why are you posting on my wall"then i said nothing i just wanna tell you someting, he said who am i bragging to? cause i post on his wall - ill see ...
A. 15 March 2012: He's probably just not big on virtual PDA. It's not for everyone. Just communicate with him some other way. It's not as though you need to "mark your territory" or something on his fb!... (read in full...)
Boyfriend can't orgasm during sex?
Q. My boyfriend and i have been together nearly 5 months, and we had sex for the first time about a month ago. Since then, we've had sex around 10 times but for some reason he can never orgasm, even after we've been doing it for 1 hour. He can orgasm ...
A. 15 March 2012: He can try positions where he gets more stimulation, for instance in missionary putting your legs inside his can create more friction (just be conscious that this can make the condom slip off easier, so check the base of it periodically).
Also ... (read in full...)
Is he getting his satisfaction from porn or just not into me?
Q. Hello All, My bf and I have been together for 1.5 years, and we have lived together for a few months. We generally have great sex and frequently. My one big concern is that sometimes he can't hold and erection or reach orgasm. We'll keep tryin...
A. 15 March 2012: It's not that he's getting satisfaction from it, but porn can desensitize him to real life. Not because it's better, just because it's different and habit forming/addictive. If he wants to really make things better, he needs to completely quit, go ... (read in full...)
How can I tell my mother I'm not a virgin anymore?
Q. I'm almost 17 and my mom doesn't know that I'm sexually active. I lost my virginity at a young age and I feel like I'm old enough to tell her that I'm not a virgin, however I'm scared because she had me when she was my age. How can I tell her and ...
A. 15 March 2012: If she asks, just be honest. She is probably asking so she can help you get contraception and make sure you're being safe. She's been through this firsthand, she can help you out. Yes it's a little uncomfortable, but it stops being uncomfortable ... (read in full...)
I feel like I'm a bad wife because I don't like giving him blowjobs, what can I do to stop being disgusted by them?
Q. Hi, Im 24 years old and newly married for 9 months. Our sex life has been great except that my husband really likes for me to give him blow jobs, but no matter how hard i try i feel disgusted to do so.I think the taste/smell is what puts me off.I ...
A. 15 March 2012: What if you buy something like a fleshlight for him to finish into (that you would use on him), and you get him close with your mouth? Or use oral as foreplay, and then let him finish inside you? A lot of women don't like the whole finishing in the ... (read in full...)
Should I reconsider the trip for my reputation? Is it too early to go on vacation together?
Q. I'm 21 and I've been dating someone from my university for two months. We've planned a 3 day trip to another state for spring break. We both think it would be really fun to explore another city together. However, my mom was furious when she...
A. 15 March 2012: Just get separate rooms. It will make everything so much easier. It's not worth all the trouble this seems to be causing your family and friends. Separate rooms doesn't mean you can't hang out in each others' rooms until bedtime.... (read in full...)
Do natural contraception monitors work?
Q. Hi This isnt a relationship question as such... more of a sex and practical question. I do not get on well with hormonal contraceptives. They do horrid things to me, and I stopped taking them. My boyfriend uses condoms, but it would be nice to...
A. 15 March 2012: They seem to work very well, but they won't have the same effectiveness as a hormonal method. I would say you should only try it if you're comfortable getting an abortion if you do get pregnant or want a child. I am in the same situation as you, I ... (read in full...)
How can I tell my mother I'm not a virgin anymore?
Q. I'm almost 17 and my mom doesn't know that I'm sexually active. I lost my virginity at a young age and I feel like I'm old enough to tell her that I'm not a virgin, however I'm scared because she had me when she was my age. How can I tell her and ...
A. 14 March 2012: Your follow-up wasn't posted when I responded, but no all hell doesn't break loose. My mom was surprisingly cool about it. She looked like she was turning several shades of purple and red and blue, then took a deep breath and had a civil ... (read in full...)
My boss is married. He rubs and pats me at work. What are your thoughts? He's older but attractive to me.
Q. I've been working at a local restaurant in my town for almost two months now. It's the first real job I've ever had. I've been recently getting vibes from my boss. Last week, we had a moment. The area behind the counter is very narrow. My co-wo...
A. 14 March 2012: Many men, especially older men, do this. It is not a sign of romantic affection, it's just a friendly way of them being like, "I don't mean to bump into you." It probably means he feels positively towards you in the sense that he doesn't find you ... (read in full...)
How can I tell my mother I'm not a virgin anymore?
Q. I'm almost 17 and my mom doesn't know that I'm sexually active. I lost my virginity at a young age and I feel like I'm old enough to tell her that I'm not a virgin, however I'm scared because she had me when she was my age. How can I tell her and ...
A. 14 March 2012: Why would you want to tell her? I told my mom when I lost mine, but that's because she asked and I knew she wouldn't get upset. She just wanted to make sure I had contraception and such. But if your mom doesn't directly ask "have you had sex yet" ... (read in full...)
I feel like I'm cheating on my b/f because I'm attracted to another guy
Q. Hi, I've been with my boyfriend that I lost my virginity to for nearly 2 years. We've been rowing a lot lately but we always have rows. Lately I've been put into a paired group project with university and have been really getting along with this ...
A. 14 March 2012: Being attracted to someone isn't a crime, it's perfectly normal to get crushes on other people while in a relationship. I think it happens to most people. Try not to worry about it. I've had two pretty serious crushes during my current relationship ... (read in full...)
Is vasectomy really reversible?
Q. hey guys...i hope everyone is doing fine..i want to ask if a vasectomy can really be reversed? Like my bf had one and he doesnt have any kids..im just qurious if we will ever have our own one day if he says he is ready? I googled but im not ...
A. 14 March 2012: Sort of, but it's not a sure thing. If he thinks he might want kids, he needs to get it reversed as soon as he can. The longer out from the operation it is, the less likely it is that it can be successfully reversed.... (read in full...)
Scared of sex...does it hurt?
Q. help!! my boyfriend wanted me to have sex with him but i am scared to!!! does it hurt??...
A. 13 March 2012: So your boyfriend wants to have sex. Does he have to get everything he wants? If you're scared to have sex, you're not ready and it's OK to tell him to wait and literally to keep his pants on. It can hurt, it doesn't have to though. If you a... (read in full...)
How can I cover up a hickey on my breast?
Q. I am 21 and I am in a relationship with the most amazing man in the world. We have been together for 9 years (we were in the same class when we were 12)and now live together at his parents house while we save for our own place. Anyway, last night ...
A. 13 March 2012: Also, forgot to mention, put on a T-shirt over it. If it's during the day you could say you don't want to get sunburned.... (read in full...)
How can I cover up a hickey on my breast?
Q. I am 21 and I am in a relationship with the most amazing man in the world. We have been together for 9 years (we were in the same class when we were 12)and now live together at his parents house while we save for our own place. Anyway, last night ...
A. 13 March 2012: I think they have grease based concealers that are water proof, you could try that. Or wear a high cut bathing suit.... (read in full...)
How do men react when they get to know that their partner has been masturbating in secret?
Q. what are men's reaction to their spouse's secret masterbation? im 34 and Ive been living wth my bf almost 11 years ... its been almost four years he lost his sex derive ... we do it almost once a month ... and Im always horney ... we love each oth...
A. 13 March 2012: If you're only doing it once a month, I can almost guarantee you he's doing it in secret as well. Maybe you can suggest masturbating together? I think though that you should probably work on why he has lost his sex drive. Has he been to the doctor? ... (read in full...)
Hair extensions, whatever next?!
Q. I met this beautiful girl, she is laid back, funny, interesting, smart just a great girl! She has a great figure and is a natural beauty, unlike some the girls I see she doesn't look like she even has to try to look good. Well one thing about her ...
A. 13 March 2012: She didn't really lie, she told you they were extensions without you having to ask. She just didn't say it on the first date. Women wear fake things all the time to try to live up to this ideal of flawless dream woman that is constantly projected on ... (read in full...)
How did the pill make her breasts bigger?
Q. My friend is 19 and has been taking the pill to make her breasts bigger. I thought this was a stupid idea since the pill doesn't do that and she isn't sexually active, so why bother? However, she has been taking it and they have gotten bigger be...
A. 13 March 2012: It doesn't add more breast tissue, that doesn't change. But the hormones cause breasts to swell, the same as they can right before your period. Breast swelling/tenderness is a common side effect of being on the pill, as is clearer skin, though not ... (read in full...)
Girl I was talking to turned away and said to her friend "there are so many hot guys here" Was that lack of interest on her part?
Q. Over the weekend I ended up at a bar in the company of a girl who I'm quite interested in and a few others. Being recently single, I'm not embarked on a crazed drive to find another girlfriend but I like to explore all possibilities shall we say. ...
A. 12 March 2012: It could either mean she's not particularly interested, or she could have wanted you to hear that she also thinks you're hot. It's really hard to say. Why not try making a move (asking her out) and see what results from that?... (read in full...)
I have a phobia about porn actresses looking better than me! Is this normal?
Q. Hi, to the females, why don't you like you're boyfriends/husbands using porn? My reasons: because I hate the idea of them getting turned on by someone else who I think is way better looking than me it actually scares me the thought of it?...
A. 12 March 2012: I don't really know what you want us to say. I think deep down you're hoping we can speak for your boyfriend and say something that will make you feel better, but we can't do that.
Since just plain talking isn't working you have two options.... (read in full...)
What is too much when it comes to checking up on your man?
Q. Ladies: do you check up on your man? If so, how much and to what extent? I'm asking because I'm wondering what is "normal" when you are in an exclusive boyfriend/girlfriend relationship like I am. Do you check his cell phone every once in awhile? ...
A. 12 March 2012: I'm telling you this from a place of experience, the more you check up on him, the less you will trust him.
You essentially have to treat this like a phobia. In a sense you are phobic that he will cheat on you, and you think by accounting for his ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend had an alcoholic mother. Should I feel scared to drink in front of him?
Q. Hello dearcupid, My boyfriend has a very troubled past. He grew up very poor with an alcoholic mother. It sounds like she was a cold woman who only cared about drinking when he was growing up. He told me that when he moved out he attended a g...
A. 12 March 2012: A glass of wine with dinner, sure. 3 glasses regularly, that's a bit too much. I'm not saying you're an alcoholic, but that it's more than is healthy. If you aren't an alcoholic you don't want to wind up being one. Alcohol is addictive, you don't ... (read in full...)
Is it bad if he doesn't get jealous?
Q. My boyfriend of 10 months never gets jealous, and I don't understand why. I ask him this everynow and then but I try not to get into it because i would rather him be un-jealous like then super crazy jealous. We have a very close relationship so I ...
A. 12 March 2012: Your boyfriend is probably just very secure. I think a lot of jealousy comes from a fear of being left or cheated on, so your boyfriend must know you really love him. Don't worry about the lack of negative things in your relationship. There's no ... (read in full...)
In a breakup why do people take the cheaters side?
Q. I was watching George Clooney's The Descendants the other day. The movie is about a character that doesn't know his wife was cheating on him. Everyone knew and didn't tell him. He never treated the wife bad or cheated on her. She screwed him over ...
A. 12 March 2012: In the movie they were simply choosing not to get involved, they weren't siding with the wife at all. The movie was intended to make you sympathize with Clooney's character, not with the cheating wife.
I don't know what to tell you about your per... (read in full...)
How do you deal with a partner's thick pre-ejaculate?
Q. Hello all and thanks for reading :) I've given my new partner oral sex in the shower and in bed, but it was after having made love already earlier that evening. However, most recently, we were getting into the mood, lots of foreplay, so I too...
A. 12 March 2012: Just wipe it off with your hand or drink some water. Some guys have pre-cum that is much more unpleasant to deal with than actual cum, and some guys have very watery and tasteless pre-cum. Maybe he could look into what he's eating?... (read in full...)
How can I increase my chances of having twins?
Q. hello everyone, i have a very simple question. im trying for another baby but i would like to concieve twins.... any ideas how to increase my chances? iv heard about eatting sweet potatos any thing else?...
A. 12 March 2012: There's nothing you can eat/do to increase the odds, except IVF might increase the odds.... (read in full...)
Boyfriend identifies himself as "queer" Does that mean he doesn't consider himself male or female?
Q. hello people, quick question. my bf says he gender queer does that mean he doesn't identify as being male or female. assuming I'm right about the above, what does that make his pronoun, he she? neither? both? thanks for any help you give ...
A. 12 March 2012: You need to ask your bf.... (read in full...)
Have you ever smelled a perfume that enticed you?
Q. This question is for Women, but men are welcome too. Have you ever smelled a perfume that enticed you? ...
A. 11 March 2012: Sort of. I like the smell of it, and often I'll associate it with someone, so if I like the guy, I will enjoy smelling the cologne. It's a nice bonus if I already find the guy attractive, but it wouldn't make me notice someone I wasn't already ... (read in full...)
Am I pregnant or is it my diet?
Q. I need help. I'm turning 21 soon and yes I am sexually active. We use condoms and I just had my period a week or two ago. Now, I don't think I'm pregnant but I'm reading articles about morning bloating and they all say it's an early sign of ...
A. 11 March 2012: Have you ever heard of medical student syndrome? That's much more likely what's going on than pregnancy. If you don't get your next period you can get a pregnancy test, but you normally can't test before then.
I have barely heard somethin... (read in full...)
How can I trust my husband that he isn't lying about pornography?
Q. I have a couple questions... My husband has been addicted to porn for many years, even before we met, and he has lied to me about it. I have caught him several times both in the act and in a lie. He has lied to me so many times about it and I have ...
A. 10 March 2012: I don't think you really can trust him. Sorry. At this point you probably need to go see a couples counselor together. I also always recommend reading through the book the porn trap together (I do not have any ties whatsoever to this book other than ... (read in full...)
14, pregnant and don't know what to do
Q. hello to cut to the case i am 14 and i think i am pregnant. my boyfriend is 15 but doest really know how to react. my mom and my step dad are going to flip out. i dont know what to do. so my question is, if i am pregnant at this age what rights do i ...
A. 10 March 2012: I second everything that Miamine said. And you need to tell your mom. She is your mother, she wants to help you and she does not want you to try to deal with this alone. She's going to cry and be upset, but she will love you and do everything she ... (read in full...)
I want to get a credit card ...
Q. i would like to get a credit card but i dont want my husband to know, hes a bit controling.... even though we share a bank account or at least i think we do..... would he be alerted if i got one or used it?...
A. 10 March 2012: Instead of a credit card you need a divorce. Your husband is being mentally abusive. He sounds like he's basically trying to keep you prisoner in 1940. You are not his domestic slave, you an individual human being who deserves to make her own money ... (read in full...)
Porn and erectile dysfunction?
Q. I have a question about porn and ed. I have come to discover stories of men who have trouble getting erect over a real woman when they have used porn alot. Is that because those porn women are hotter? Would they still have that problem if a woman ...
A. 10 March 2012: This is an interesting article on it:
http://yourbrainonporn.com/erectile-dysfunction-and-porn... (read in full...)
Why does my boyfriend ejaculate all over my stomach?
Q. I wonder if any of you could help me. My boyfriend who is one year older than me always withdraws from me during sex and ejaculates and squirts it out all over my stomach. I am just wondering if anybody has experienced this before? Is this an ...
A. 10 March 2012: Sounds like either you feel like you can't request things in bed/say no to his requests or he does this without asking first, both of which are bad. If it's the first, you can talk to him and say I prefer it when you finish inside because of ____ ... (read in full...)
Can a minor bicycle riding accident cause the hymen to tear?
Q. Can a minor bike riding accident cause the hymen to tear? I had a bicycle riding accident when I was younger. I was still learning how to ride it and hadn't gotten used to breaking and getting down smoothly. I hit myself down there on the cycle ...
A. 10 March 2012: It's common for things like that to cause your hymen to tear. Things like this also happen to some girls doing gymnastics and such.... (read in full...)
Do all men cheat if given the chance?
Q. Hmm, I'm getting a little cynical-do all men cheat (emotionally/physically) if they get the chance and don't think they'll get caught?? This is the impression I'm getting from DearCupid, from celebrities, from my friends, and I don't like it. I ...
A. 9 March 2012: No. It's not true at all. Cheaters will make chances for themselves and take them. Cheating or not cheating has nothing to do with opportunity, it has to do with a lack of self-control and a lack of respect and empathy for your partner.... (read in full...)
Pregnancy Test Came Up Negative Instantly - Too Quickly to Be Accurate?
Q. I just took a pregnancy test for the first time ever...it was the CVS equivalent of the FirstResponse one, the kind that shows a blue stripe in one circle if you are not pregnant and in 2 circles if you are. It says the results can show as early as ...
A. 9 March 2012: If you're worried take another test and/or see a doctor.
But the pill commonly causes pregnancy like symptoms and if you've been careful about taking the pill and have been using condoms, I VERY highly doubt there's a chance you're pregnant... (read in full...)
Could I get pregnant on the last day of my period?
Q. Hi, I'm sixteen years old. Last month, it was the very last day of my period and there was hardly any blood but I was still spotting and I gave my boyfriend oral sex. He came in my mouth and I swallowed it and continued to suck him off. He pulled ...
A. 9 March 2012: It's highly unlikely since the amount of semen in probably small but it's possible since sperm can inside you for 5-7 days.... (read in full...)
I have a phobia about porn actresses looking better than me! Is this normal?
Q. Hi, to the females, why don't you like you're boyfriends/husbands using porn? My reasons: because I hate the idea of them getting turned on by someone else who I think is way better looking than me it actually scares me the thought of it?...
A. 7 March 2012: Well some women do consider it a form of cheating, so if you were feeling like that the hurt feelings wouldn't just magically disappear as soon as he stopped. However, being realistic, you should try to get through this and not end things. If porn ... (read in full...)
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