A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hi, i am not looking to have sex. But i have questions on the sex law. It doesn't stop anyone! I know a pregnant 8th grader! On secret life of the american teenager, amy got pregnant at 15! But why when girls my age (15) ask to go on the pill, its always slammed in our faces that we're underage so we can't do anything anyway. I understand other parts of the sex law, but "no sex till you reach a certain age" has not, will not, and is not stopping ANYONE. And we want to go on the pill, thats the responsible thing to do. Things happen in the heat of the moment, why is being underage always slammed in our faces (when clearly it doesn't stop any teenager anywhere) and why aren't we allowed to prepare and go on the pill?
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female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (11 February 2012):
 The doctor put me on the pill for medical reasons at 14. I was so angry with him, because he hadn't asked my mother's permission, and I assumed that he thought that I was having sex. He didn't, he thought I was responsible and needed it for medical reasons. I went and told my mum straight away, and also told her I was angry with him. She wasn't bothered, she got pregnant young and regretted it, so she had already talked to the doctor and given her permission for him to give birth control whenever I asked.
I didn't need it for sexual reasons, I waited until I met my soulmate at 18 before I had sex. Couldn't understand the girls that were so in a hurry to have sex with somebody/anybody. Yes I dated, but I didn't have to have sex, there are many things sexual and non-sexual that teenagers can do that doesn't involve sex... what's the hurry, you got the rest of your life to mess up.
In the UK, we don't like to give teenagers the pill. They often forget to take it and end up getting pregnant. We much prefer the implant or injection now. Also it doesn't protect against sexual disease, so teenagers are one of the few groups whose STD's statistics are going through the roof. Two of my girlfriends ended up getting STD's as teenagers which threatened their fertility, even though they were on the pill.
Contraception is not a magic pill... their are dangers to health, including thrombosis, which many teens don't know about. Also there is a higher risk of getting cervical cancer if you have sex young. (probably not so much a problem now if you have the injection to prevent against this) Every piece of research done, shows that teenager girls who have sex younger have worse life chances. Whether it's from looking at the amount you will earn later, or how well your children will do, early sex does track for worse outcomes in life.
Then there is the emotions... many teens end up having sex with many men, they start earlier, so have more partners in the end. Again this cause feelings of disgust and regret later. Teens are still growing and experiencing the world. The guy you swear to love for ever, rarely is by your side when you start college.
Why do adults make such laws... ummm... maybe because we were teenagers once, and we have seen what happens to those who have sex too early. Your a teenager, it's very unlikely that when your my age you'll still by demanding that teenagers be able to have sex at any age they want. Now your able to think such things, because like any teen, you demand, but you don't seem to understand consequences or responsibilities.
The law is the law to protect you. You think you know better than every single adult in the world, just because your a teen and horny. Your attitude will change in a short a time as the next 5years, and you'll be saying that teenagers hurry into sex to fast and don't know what they are doing.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2012): "My last thought was that Romeo and Juliet were underaged, too. It is normal for young people to have sex. I don't know why older folks can't accept this."
Didn't Romeo and Juliet die from their young romance?
We do accept that and most adults started having sex in their teens. That's why we know damn well why the age of consent is not only a good idea it's a must. Do you really want a guy in his 30's exploiting your 14 year old sister for sex? Or even an 18 year old guy using his superior experience to use your 13 year old sister for sex?
Being under age is not slammed in your face. We adults are not out to get you and ruin your lives or stop you having fun. We're trying to help guide into having a safe, happy life. Some parents are okay with their 14 year old daughters having sex with a 20 year old drug addict in their house, some parents don't wan their sons or daughters having any sexual contact with anyone until they're 18. Would you rather have parents that let you do anything you want no matter how badly you're harming yourself, give you 100% freedom to do whatever you want not protect you?
You know if you're that dead set on getting "freedom" from adult oppression then just get emancipated from your family, get a job, and apartment and go live like and adult. see how that works out for you without some form of guidance.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (10 February 2012):
 Because you live in a country that ideally doesn't want anyone to have sex outside of marriage. Rather than face the facts they think that by giving you contraceptives they encourage premarital sex. And the highly conservatives (especially the deeply religious ones) do not want that.
Whereas in countries with a more liberal view on sex teenagers will be provided not only contraception, but also sex-education. You'd be surprised at how many US teenagers come on here asking of they are pregnant because they sat on a boys lap. They are clueless. Because sex is being treated as a taboo in many areas of the world, the US included.
That being said, the law on sex is mainly there to protect you, not to stop you from having sex. It's there to prevent adults from taking advantage over you.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (10 February 2012):
 It does stop people. And you can bet that when that pregnant 8th grader gives birth, there will be police there to find out who the father is and if he is older (the laws on this gap vary by state) arrest him. The law exists for a reason, because children are not psychologically ready for sex and any consequences of sex. Just take a look at Cerberus' numbers. Sex is not just a byproduct of horniness, it comes with huge responsibilities that most adolescents are just not ready for.
Very few people who aren't anti-sex outside of marriage are condemning 15 year olds. The law exists largely for people younger than that. I don't know anyone younger than you who lost their virginity without pressure from an older boy and who doesn't regret it. Most adolescents aren't prepared for the social pressures and consequences of sex or able to deal with the responsibilities of birth control.
If you think sex just "happens in the heat of the moment" then you're really not ready for sex. I don't disagree that adolescents need to be bombarded from every possible angle how to be safe (because you're constantly bombarded with media of people being irresponsible and hopping in the sack without protection) and I think anyone of childbearing age should have access to contraception, for free.
That doesn't mean minors SHOULD be having sex or that the law should change.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2012): It should NOT be slammed in your face. The problem is that there are too many political officials, arrogant and conceited individuals who think they know it all, and even conservative religious leaders who think that they have the answers for young people and by doing so they can make up for their own failings when they themselves screwed up as young people. They think that they know it all! But, they don't!
I don't know what to tell you, except that in a few years you will be of age and can finally buy birth control pills. In the meantime, all you can do is as a group of teenage women (and sympathetic young men) is try and advocate on your behalf for contraceptive devices. Also, if your mother is sympathetic, then go to her and even ask for her support when you go to your physician for a check and request for subscripton of birth control pills.
My last thought was that Romeo and Juliet were underaged, too. It is normal for young people to have sex. I don't know why older folks can't accept this.
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A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (10 February 2012):
 I just want to add this for you to think about.
Imagine there was no age of consent.
Imagine you could have sex whenever you wanted at whatever age?
A strong willed teenage boy of 15 sees a young girl he fancies. She at 11. He tells her he loves her and wants to have sex with her. He sleeps with her because he can and it is allowed.
He is rough with her, no foreplay, no care, no attention. Essentially she is just a vagina to use for sex.
She is scared and doesnt understand what is going on.
She finds out she is pregnant.
He leaves her - it was only a one night stand after all. They were not BF/GF and he is too young to be tied down.
What happens to the girl?
This situation can be applied to girls 9,10,11,12,13,14,15 even 16 or 17 years of age. My mum teaches a girl of 9 who has started her period. Technically she could have a baby.
You think you have all the answers. The law is there to protect you when you think you know better. Respect it, and you will be a lot better off.
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A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (10 February 2012):
Wherever there is a law, there will always be irresponsible people who think they know better and that somehow the law doesn't apply to them.
With children (and you are a child, like it or not) this gets even worse.
At 15, you think you are an adult, you think you have all the answers and you think you know everything. You dont.
OP, the laws are there to protect you from yourselves. As a teenager you suddenly have all these hormones rushing around your body and you have no idea how to control or understand them. You just want to act on them.
Generally speaking if an underage girl gets pregant, her life will never amount to much. There may be the odd exception, but for the majority of teen mothers, they will never achieve their full potential and in a lot of cases the babies they have grow up in terrible circumstances, usually as part of single parent families as the teenage father has done a runner and left.
Putting underage girls on the pill gives them a false sense of security. They feel that they can go out and sleep around and they will be fine! WRONG. Once a teenage boy finds out a girl is on the pill, they feel that they dont need to wear a condom. Again, this can lead to all sorts of other problems, not only pregnancy, but also infections, sexual diseases and other complications.
How many teenage girls do you know that are responsible enough to take the pill 100% correctly? It is an accident waiting to happen.
Teenage boys are just a walking penis. They will want to have sex with anything that moves. They dont care about the consequences, they just want to have sex.
I know you don't want to hear it, but at 15 you are not mature enough, emotionally or physically to deal with the full implications of sex. You are still a child yourself. When you get a bit older and look back you will realise how much you still have to learn and how little you know now and you will be GLAD you waited.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (10 February 2012):
 My daughter came to me at 15 and asked to go on the pill... I happily complied.
I was on the pill at 14...
so I guess it's just YOUR house that works this way
and guess what... take your underage tushy down to planned parenthood if you feel the burning desire to make the same mistakes i made at your age.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (10 February 2012):
 There's a law against murder as well but that doesn't stop some people from committing it either. So what's your point? And you do understand that "underage" is a temporary condition, right?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2012): Actually the law does stop plenty of teenagers from having sex. Not every teenager is a dumb ass that can't control their urges, I waited until I was 20 before I had sex and I had plenty of girlfriends. Not only that but the law is mainly there to stop older men and women having sex with under-age people.
It HAS stopped plenty of people OP, lots of teens have decided not to have sex because they don't want their older partner getting into trouble.
Actually the responsible thing to do is to wear condoms and be on the pill or to wait to have sex until you're allowed and ready to. Don't want to get pregnant at 15? Then don't have sex. Can't control yourself in the heat of the moment? Then you're not responsible enough to get pregnant and you shouldn't be having sex. You have the exact attitude that those girls who got pregnant have toward sex.
OP over 90% of teenagers who got pregnant weren't wearing condoms or on the pill, over 50% of those girls said they didn't wear a condom because the guy they were with "didn't like wearing one" how stupid is that? Out of the rest 30% got pregnant because they believed you couldn't get pregnant while on your period or your first time, or when the guy pulled out. Out of the other 20%, 10% of those were failed contraception, the pill didn't work or the condom broke and the other 10% new the risk but hoped it wouldn't happen. Most of those girls got caught in the moment and they all paid the price, giving them the pill is not going to stop them being idiots OP. What part of those statistics suggest that putting girls who aren't responsible enough to take proper care of their bodies the pill is a good idea?
The pill isn't 100% effective at all OP, especially in teenagers whose bodies are going through hormonal changes. It can fail a lot OP and it's not a guarantee of not getting pregnant, neither is a condom. Both at the same time are a good way of preventing it, but take the pill, wear a condom and have the guy pull out is pretty much the best way of making sure it doesn't, besides abstinence of course.
OP some parents think it's a good idea to put their teenager on the pill and others think it's irresponsible to give a green light to their children to have sex. Neither view is wrong in my opinion. Especially seeing as being on the pill greatly increases the risk of other serious diseases and can have a pretty damaging effect on a growing teenager. Not many parents feel comfortable letting their daughter go on the pill because they don't want their daughter having sex in the first place. Especially daughters that aren't in long term serious relationships. My younger sisters weren't allowed go on it until minimum 6 months into their relationships and none of them got pregnant in the mean time because they knew that they had to get the guy to wear a condom and/or pull out.
It is stopping teenagers and if they're stupid enough to get pregnant just because they're not on the pill when there are hell of a lot of other contraceptive methods and devices out there then that's their problem OP because they're idiots, the pill doesn't make you smarter OP and it doesn't protect against STD's either. Only good sexual practice and informed intelligent safe sex can protect you from both pregnancy and disease, when a girl like you comes spouting all this bullshit about it not stopping anyone it shows you're no informed enough to make smart choices and probably still thinks it's possible to get pregnant from a toilet seat.
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