A
female
age
26-29,
*atalie97
writes:So.. I've been dating this guy for a week. Im a virgin. He's not. He asked about my past, I had done some things and it totally turned him off. But, I was completely honest with him because I didn't want to lie to him. What do I do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (10 February 2012):
 And at 13-15years old, how come you two are talking sex after only a week?
A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (10 February 2012):
13-15years old... stop doing anything with guys until your older, as you see they don't think much of you because of this.
It's really easy to get a bad name for doing sexual things too young and with too many guys... once you get that name, it's very hard to lose it.
The fact that you've come here to ask us about this, shows you really shouldn't be doing sexual things.
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A
male
reader, Deathbunny +, writes (9 February 2012):
Guys who chase virgins do it for one (or more) of a couple of reasons:1) They are told they are supposed to. (Naive religious views)2) They want to "train you right" sexually. (Sort of like a "teacher" of sex.)3) They are also a virgin and want to experience sex together. (Which often turns into some really confused people...)4) They are afraid of sexually transmitted diseases (STD). (Virgin implies no STD risk.)5) They have a fear of being compared to other men. (Either in ability, penis size, etc.)6) They psychologically want to "own" you. (They want your only sexual experiences to be with them.)What it sounds like to me is he's one of the last 3 sorts of guys. So, when you said "virgin" and you also have sexual experiences, he interpreted that as "cheating" the rules.So, like others suggest in not-so-elegant ways, it may be time to drop him and consider other options.For the future, however, question someone that looks at you being a virgin as the main reason they are dating you. Virginity goes away once, and unless the person is able to monitor you 24-hours a day, all of those reasons to chase virgins (except #2 and #3) tends to develop into the potential for psychological and physical abuse...Good luck.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (9 February 2012):
 Dump him. what a jerk.. it's ok for him to do things but not you?
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (9 February 2012):
 You dump him! Don't let anyone judge you, when you are being honest and open.
Personally, I think he is a PRIME candidate for the TOOL awards..
You can do better, honey!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2012): What if we switched the genders of the question? What if it was from a guy with no sexual experience and his GF was turned off to hear that? Would the Agony Aunts be telling the guy to dump her hypocritical ass too? I doubt it.
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A
male
reader, JustHelpinAgain  +, writes (9 February 2012):
Hey, your bf is being childish, tell him to grow up or get out. Talking and telling about past relationships is not really a truth issue, even when asked. Just because you are asked for details doesn't mean you have to tell it. Our pasts are our private domain and we grow and learn all the time so who we were then is not who we are now. And, if you are that young, don't rush to grow up or emulate what you see in movies because thats not real.
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A
female
reader, RoseArwen  +, writes (9 February 2012):
He is not worth it. It is good that you didn't lie to him. I would find someone else that respects you. Move on.
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A
male
reader, Al Somers +, writes (9 February 2012):
 Simple. Look for someone more mature and who is not into double-standards. (Unless, of course, he totally changes his tune.) Consider his reaction a blessing in disguise because this is almost a sure-fire sign that he is the jealous/possessive type, which is the last thing you need.
You were right in being honest, as it is, after all, the best policy. Don't let him make you believe otherwise.
Whatever you do, don't get easily hung up one any one guy at least until you really get to know him.
Sounds like you're a teen. If so, unfortunately many boys in your age bracket are probably not up to your level of maturity. You might have to either wait a little long until you date, date a boy one or two years older than you, or find a mature age-mate.
Hope this helps,
Al Somers
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A
male
reader, Ayan Ganguly  +, writes (9 February 2012):
 You said that you are a virgin and he is not...you were honest and said him about your past..but my dear you should have reacted,on knowing that he is not a virgin,the way he did,may be that's what he anticipated and since you didn't he gave it back to you...you need to do nothing...relax over the weekend and preserve your virginity for the proper person who will understand you and your feelings better...you were honest and if he has a problem with your honesty then he is not worth it..I hope i have been able to help you in my own little way..all the best
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (9 February 2012):
 You dump his hypocritical butt. He gets to judge you for having a sexual past, while his is totally fine? What a hypocrite!
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