A
male
age
51-59,
*lmorr
writes:I read in a newspaper recently that a lot of women are beginning to stay 'natural' i.e no shaving their arm pits, etc, I am wondering what readers of 'dearcupid.org think about that suggestion. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Miamine +, writes (9 February 2012):
 And about what men think... mmmmmm... they might mention it for a second or so.... but they don't seem to mind a lot after we get closer... But I'd really like one day to do the double shaving thing.A guy who dumps me because of me hair.. not really bothered.. there are other guys out there... they don't seem to care much about the grey either.... Think my bedroom knowledge and me other qualities makes up for a lot of things... Worrying about what guys think is beautiful turns a lot of women crazy.People keep on telling me guys like lots of things, slim people, pretty women, feminine women, quiet women.... really... again, never had a problem with them things myself. Guys seem to like things in me that I don't even like.
A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (9 February 2012):
Yippie!!! I'm in fashion again.... I can't be bothered to shave because I'm lazy. Sometimes shave in the summer if I fancy getting dressed up, and this is only because the summer clothes show more of the body. Also might shave if I'm feeling particularly feminine and want the extra sensitivity that "nude" brings.hahaha... now me girlfriends can stop bothering me about this... "Au naturale is so last year, now leave me alone to grow me hair...."
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (9 February 2012):
 I think that, in the debate " natural " vs. " cultural " we tend to forget that " cultural " has occasionaly came up with some pretty good ideas. And shaving armpits and shaving ,or trimming very close , pubic hair is one of these. Hair traps droplets of sweat and keeps them there to "fester" till the next shower rather than let them slide off your body, and even the cleanest people generally can't just jump in the shower every few hours so...
At least in Europe ,until recent times no hetero man would have dreamed of shaving his armpits or privates and, let me tell you, for a person with a very keen sense of smell like myself... NOW is better .
I also remember perfectly when for women shaving their armpits was not a must but a sophisticated optional .... same thing. Particularly if you have to ride a crowded bus on a summer day...
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (9 February 2012):
 I agree with Cerberus & fletcher. Men and women like for their partner to "take" care of themselves.
It doesn't mean women (and/or men) need to be absolutely hairless, just take the time to groom themselves.
Personally, I almost throw up in my mouth if a see a guy on the beach with a full on hairy monkey back *gag* but who knows maybe his wife likes it. I equally do not like men who are totally shaved (arms, legs, privates) it just (to me) doesn't look manly. So it comes down to personal taste.
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male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (9 February 2012):
 You must be reading the Sasquatch daily cause man, every woman Ive been with shaves everything. Nothing wrong with natural tits or legs or whatever but nah man, big turnoff when the brod aint groomed.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2012): Saying we only shave because of advertisements and things isn't completely on the button, ok to some degree but think about it, we are getting less and less hairy due to evolution, as the earth heats up the need for hair (to conserve body heat) lessens. Trust me if humans are alive in another million years we will all come out of the womb looking like a flesh coloured Oscar...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2012): "guys tend to like girls who look like they take care of themselves.."
That's not a sexist remark. Women like guys who take care of themselves too. I would have a hairy back, a monobrow, huge pube-like hairs sprouting out of my nose and very long finger and toenails, if I didn't take care of myself. Would it be sexier if I left those things grow out or should I keep trimming those things?
This isn't a men vs. women question. It was a specific question about what we thought of women going au natural. All of these concepts apply to us guys too, au natural for most guys is a huge beard, monobrow and long nose/ear hairs.
Don't forget that women don't have a monopoly on grooming. Most of us guys have a lot of body hair and little bits of things to groom too you know. We just don't go around complaining about it or talking about it, it's not a big deal to us and it's just routine. It isn't more difficult for women either, sure legs may be a bigger area to shave but the hair is much lighter than any hair on a man's body. trust me I've groomed myself and my girlfriend.
I shave my face, I pluck the middle of my eyebrows, I wax or cream my back, I trim and shave my pubes, I cut my nails, I trim my nose hairs most of us guys have a pretty comprehensive grooming routine. Would you girls like me better if I had thick back hair, huge hairs growing out of my nose, long nails, a a massive scruffy beard and a monobrow? No most girls wouldn't find that appealing at all. So it's not just guys who are "shallow" in that regard.
Au natural is not what most men or women want to see in their partners it's that simple. Both men and women have certain ways they pretty much have to groom to be attractive to opposite sex. My girlfriend only shaves her legs when she has to wear a skirt and even then she may just opt for dark tights instead. She has very light coloured and soft leg hair and it doesn't make her any less sexy if she has hair on her legs.
She's always shaved her armpits and feels very uncomfortable with hair there so she does that herself. I discussed this with her last night and she said it has nothing to do with the media or advertising, to say so assumes that women are somehow dumb slaves to TV and stuff. Women and men have always groomed and it has changed with times we live in and based on the fashions of the time. Aesthetic appeal is very important to most women and as soon as bathing suits, skirts etc. that showed legs became more popular women decided themselves that hairless legs had a greater aesthetic appeal. The same works for all other types of grooming.
Women are the ones who decided they like these things better, none of this has been imposed on them in any way. If you don't want to shave your legs then don't, you won't find many other women who think that hairy legs on girls are more appealing than hairless ones.
So fletcher is completely correct. Men and women like to have partners that look like they take care of their appearance.
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female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker +, writes (9 February 2012):
 There are limits to how far one should take the whole au naturale thing I think. Personally I keep a trimmed bush but everything else is kept shaven. (Am fortunate that way, don't have much body hair)
Of course none of us might do these things without societal pressure and the absolutely evil advertising industry which is surely responsible for most, if not all, the evil that women face.
Men could all grow beards and look like prophets from the old testament. With bathing also being optional, it may have the happy after-effect of reducing global warming as well.
Women could also grow beards if they are able. At worst, those who can't may settle for merely having a furry countenance.
The world may become a much more intersting place.
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female
reader, person12345 +, writes (9 February 2012):
 No one would shave anything if not for pressure from advertising/the media. People don't just pop out of the womb thinking that women ought to be hairless. It's not some inherently "sexy" trait. In some cultures very hairy women, sometimes even women with facial hair are considered sexiest. It all just depends on what you're shown as the ideal. The trend of removing all your pubic hair is a new one, most likely from the increased visibility of pornography.
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (9 February 2012):
Whatever floats your boat, honey.
I wax legs, and shave armpits, but I'd be darned if I look like a pre-teen below the waist, a trimmed "airstrip" works for me and I have had no complaints from my husband.
He once shaved all his off and It looked so darn wrong.!
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female
reader, matureflowerx +, writes (9 February 2012):
 I shave arms legs and wax the rest. Its cleaner and better to look at. Nothing worse than sweaty curly hair. Although people are led to believe hair is good for you down there but the only time I have ever read is that its actually completely unneccesary now we wear clothes. Its not attractive imo I think if you don't at least shave armpits it looks lazy total turn off.
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male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (8 February 2012):
 I think not shaving legs might be a deal-breaker for me, at least if her hair were dark and thick. I don't love the ideal of underarm hair, but I could cope. But pubic hair is a must. I can't imagine being with someone bare. Appeals to me not at all.
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (8 February 2012):
 PS. your update wasn't posted when I commented the first time. About men pressuring women to shave, I must admit I have not felt any pressure from men to shave. My boyfriends of the past have never complained, and no, I do not shave every day. I shave when I go out in public, and hanging at home with a boyfriend isn't defined as "in public" after the point where you can fart in front of each other. Quite the contrary, I have been encouraged by boyfriends of late to let grow whatever I want. They prefer women to be natural. Sure some grooming is nice, but the men I've met have ALL said to me they like me better without make-up and fancy clothes. They also don't really care about hair, they've happily accepted everything I end up with. As for the men though, I know that if I want oral I need to keep it tidy, or else it is uncomfortable for them. No one likes hair in the mouth. Likewise I always tell them in return that if they want their balls licked they also need to shave. But I do not see that as pressure, more of a give and take situation.
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female
reader, elise22  +, writes (8 February 2012):
 Eww no! More women maybe, but still not many. Every girl I know shaves her legs and armpits, and I'm pretty sure also their pubic hair (although we've never discussed it haha).
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female
reader, chigirl +, writes (8 February 2012):
I don't know what you mean, you need to be more specific. Exactly what did you read? That women go out like that in public without having their arm pits shaved? Because I've close to never seen that. And in the occasions I have seen it it was a mishap that wasn't mean to be seen.
Not shaving downstairs is common, and not really anything new. Not shaving your legs is actually quite common among women with little hair or very light hair on their legs.
If you ask me what I think about women having hairy armpits in public then I say... whatever. I'm not a big fan of guys in tank tops showing of their hairy armpits either, even though I know men do not shave. Hairy arm pits isn't that nice to look at unless you're naked in bed with the guy, and it should be trimmed. I don't care what others do though, I wouldn't walk around with hairy armpits, nor am I attracted to it, in neither men or women.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2012): I never shave anything except underarms and lower legs 2 x per week or so- I have very little body hair. I would never shave/remove pubic hair it's not healthy. If you're very hairy you can trim it if necessary. It's there to protect your sensitive skin and to protect from infections and so on. I think it's weird and unhealthy to remove hair from there. Sexual attraction to hairless women is pervy imo.
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female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (8 February 2012):
 For me, armpits and legs, yes. Those are on show to everyone and should be kept hairless.
Pubic hair however is actually more important, it helps to absorb sweat and prevention of infections.
I keep it trimmed, nice and neat and tidy. Shaving rash is a pain in the backside, waxing hurts, and keeping it smooth all the time is a right hassle. I don't think men totally realise exactly what this involves to get that porn star look.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2012): They're body their choice.
I mean come on what guy who's ever been in a long term relationship isn't used to his girlfriend being lazy and hairy sometimes. If they don't want to do it I'm fine with it but my preference is for neatness.
I shave off a lot of my hair and trim my pubes. I see no reason to keep my body looking tidy and I prefer my girlfriend does too but I wouldn't dump her for not bothering.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (8 February 2012):
 I would still shave arms and legs without a doubt regularly no matter what.
as for pubic hair... what little I have is removed now by waxing and if i was not in a relationship I would leave some and remove some by shaving... not all by waxing.
I remove my hair for me not anyone else. I do remove it all now by waxing because it's just easier than dying it and I am here to tell you that not just the hair on your head gets gray....
I also will attest to the fact that even with all my body hair removed I do not look like a porn star or a child... 52 year old bodies that have birthed children look like hairless 52year old bodies not 12 yr old girls...
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2012): Each to their own, I guess it would save shaving/waxing, but to me it's better to remove than look like a gorilla
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2012): The only hair I like to see on a woman is what's on her head and her eyebrows. I prefer that everything else be shaved or waxed. I know that some women choose not to shave their arm pits or legs, but that type of girl is just not for me. A hairy bush is a deal breaker for me, too.
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male
reader, almorr +, writes (8 February 2012):
almorr is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you mammer 69 and fletcher for responding to my question, most MEN probably agree with your opinion, but I wonder how many women who do shave, might not do so, if it was not from the pressure from men and the advertising industry.
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female
reader, person12345 +, writes (8 February 2012):
When was the last time any guy was told they're not taking care of themselves when they didn't rip all their hair out (not trimming, actually getting rid of it)? Any guy who thinks women shouldn't have pubic hair or finds it disgusting watches way too much porn. Women naturally have hair just like men do and it can cause infections to get rid of it. Stubble feels far worse than hair. I used to shave most of it off and wasn't sure why it was always itchy and painful after sex. But now that I've stopped shaving, I realized the hair provides an incredibly important cushion and prevents a lot of skin on skin friction. I am not a child, why would I want to look like one? More importantly, why would a grown man want their partner to look like one? The only place I do shave is my armpits, but only because I found that leaving it unshaven made my deodorant stop working as well.http://www.kevinmd.com/blog/2011/04/war-pubic-hair.html
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male
reader, mammer69 +, writes (8 February 2012):
NNNNOOOOOOO. it is so much better when the girl is shaved. everything flows much better and it looks sexier. And it makes certain things much easier.
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male
reader, fletcher +, writes (8 February 2012):
I personally don't think it would be the smartest thing to do. Most guys tend to like girls who look like they take care of themselves.
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