A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey Everyone, okay, so this guy that I'm not actually officially dating, but we have been a thing for almost two years is away at college. which is kind of why we're not together. He tells me he is still a virgin, but I don't believe him because he goes to parties all the time. We were both virgins and I want to stay one for a long time, but I do give him blow jobs...he has always been a little pushy with me, but he knows I want to wait and he respects it. but my question is can a boy in college who parties with pretty girls all the time, stay a virgin? Especially when he has always been pretty aggressive when it comes to fooling around with me
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blow-job, both virgins, still a virgin Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, katiekate  +, writes (10 February 2012):
 Can he? Yes. Is he? Highly doubtful.
A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (10 February 2012):
 Sounds like he sees you as someone he can get sexual favours from easily.
He's using you, get rid of him and find someone who will commit.
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A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (10 February 2012):
 If your not "official dating", and he's been pushing you for sex, and he's moved away to college, it's unlikely that his virginity state will be your problem. It's unlikely he'll keep his virginity for a girl he's not in a dating relationship with.
Long distance relationships are hard to work.... young people change as they grow up and meet other people... relationships that aren't "official" aren't likely to tie anybody as there is no contract to be faithful and not see anyone else.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2012): If you guys aren't together, why should he? Technically, the way things are he has no incentive to stay with you. By not being in a relationship officially, you don't respect him enough to be his partner and therefore he'll probably find someone who does..sex or no sex.
Also, parties don't mean that he won't stay a virgin. Don't stereotype. Just like being a virgin doesn't mean you are better than those who aren't. It all comes down to the maturity of your relationship in my opinion, and if you don't have one then it's not really a question of if he will or not, it is not fair to own him or judge him like that. Sex is a normal human behaviour. Abstaining is a religious one.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (10 February 2012):
 It's not a matter of "can a boy" but a matter of "can your boyfriend." Obviously you don't trust your boyfriend and it sounds like you don't trust him for a reason. He is pushy with you, takes sexual favors, and refuses to commit. I simply don't see the point in continuing this relationship.
I also agree with Fatherly Advice, it's unlikely a virgin would be so pushy. I think it's likely he's lying to you. Do yourself a favor and find yourself a local boyfriend.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (10 February 2012):
 All relationships are relationships of trust. You don't trust him. You think that his actions don't match his words. That is a very good reason not to trust someone. Your lack of trust or his lack of trustworthiness is weakening your relationship.
As a father of children your age I have a question for you. Don't you think you could do better than a guy that freely uses you but won't commit to you? I know how exciting it is to have an older boyfriend, but he won't admit he is your boyfriend.
To answer your specific question. I don't think that a guy who is pushing you for sex at every meeting is a virgin. Virgins are usually a bit more nervous.
FA
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A
female
reader, Deagan +, writes (10 February 2012):
 Consider this- you two are not officially dating. He's "pushy." He's pretty aggressive when it comes to fooling around with you.
Because you are not an item, you have officially granted him permission to do whatever he wants and not feel guilty about it- you're not exclusive after all, and if he really wants to have sex while in college, that's what the tiny little voice in his head is going to keep whispering to him.
It's going to say "I'm not attached... I'm not attached." The mind has a funny way of making temptation and poor choices seem logical.
Good luck.
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