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| | *erberus_Raphael's profile:I see love everywhere and I see it as a chance for peace. With love, there is a happiness because real, strong love, is a truly benevolent emotion. The archangel Raphael is god's healing. Through God, do I find inspiration to at least try my best to guide others to the peace they seek. I turned to god when I had no where else to go and I found something I could trust in and believe in when I felt cold hearted and angry, the very same way people feel when they trust in the ones they truly love.
If anyone is wondering, the very symbolic nature of Cerberus is important to me. It signifies a time in my life was my liberator and destroyer, I was pushed to the brink of sanity and pulled back, all because of a complicated form of love. But it made me stronger and wiser and now I seek to spare the broken the same physical and emotional pain I felt once before. I was an awful, intolerable, intolerant, heartless and destructive young man before I found a form of peace. As much as I want to help those in need, as much as I like to think that what I say may bring a smile or hope to one's life, I need to remember that what I do here is for my own sense of redemption.
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| Latest articles: International Day of Tolerance
This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
16 November 2010: I am sure there are some who know what day the 16th of November is, and I am also sure that there are some who don't. The 16th of November was declared the 'International Day of Tolerance' and its purpose is to spread peace amongst all races and ...
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My husband's driving triggers my panic attacks
Q. I suffer from anxiety, and i have been married for 7 years now. I constantly have an argument with my husband whenever he is driving. I have severe fear from driving (specially highways), and i always argue with my husband if he just slightly gets ...
A. 24 August 2018: Hi,
Have you been diagnosed? I think visiting a psychologist might be a good idea, but I also believe that your husband needs to be more considerate of his actions, especially if they're causing you to have panic attacks, which is a pretty s... (read in full...)
Turnng 30 and getting itchy feet about passionless relationship
Q. Hi, I don't know what to do or how to feel. I have lived at home with my parents until not long ago. I was always a good kid and studied hard and didn't go out partying. I've bought a house and moved in with my partner of 10 years. I have bee...
A. 24 August 2018: Hi,
It sounds like it's a lot more than just that you'll be turning 30 soon. But let's get that out of the way first. It's incredibly tempting to allow yourself to think about your life in stages relative to age ranges, then if it doesn't go accor... (read in full...)
The guy I'm dating doesn't believe I have social anxiety, does it matter?
Q. I've been on a few dates with this guy. I feel a bit of a spark but I am worried about something he said to me. Part of me feels that if I liked him enough to date him I won't worry about what he said. I told him that I suffer from social anxi...
A. 9 November 2017: I'd say it does matter. In fact, depending on how severe it gets, it's pretty important that he understands social anxiety and that it doesn't mean just being afraid of people and things.
Are you getting help for it? Making any kind of progress... (read in full...)
Why can't I be alone?
Q. How can I feel comfortable with myself alone? I have a problem being alone and I have tried to do things alone and I just dread the weekend because I'm alone with my thoughts- I've had this feeling since I was ten and it always gotten me in trouble ...
A. 16 June 2017: I understand how you feel. I behave in pretty much the same way and more often than not, it led me to do some pretty stupid things.
There are some things that really help, but I don't have a solution that'll get rid of that feeling complete... (read in full...)
How do I tell her I'll be there if she wants to be more than friends
Q. Hi all, I'll try to keep it as short as I can but, this might get quite lengthy. So, sorry about that. Let me preface this by telling you that my first serious relationship ended about a year and a half ago (it was my fault), though we still c...
A. 12 November 2016: Thanks everyone!
That's quite a wide variety of views.
Before I wrote this, my thoughts were actually quite in line with Aunt Honesty, so I was surprised when ChiGirl and N91 wrote that I should/should've kissed her. I know I should've, I jus... (read in full...)
I regret my hasty words
Q. To make a long story short a little while ago I told a really good friend of mine that I liked her as more than a friend and she ended up telling me that she didn't feel the same way which I tried to be ok with. It all eventually came crashing down. ...
A. 16 August 2016: You need to focus on you. You obviously hurt her quite a lot and it's apparent that she needs time above all things. It's difficult to say how much she'll need but, when the time does come and she's ready, you can talk to her and apologise.
Until... (read in full...)
My potential fiance has insecurities due to past experiences. Do I wait for her to heal? Or do I move on?
Q. My potential fiance is scared of being hurt and her insecurity is a result of her past and currently refuses engagement. Her mother calls me a great guy and the 'right one' for her and her siblings i get along with. I did not get a chance to meet ...
A. 7 November 2015: As much as the family is included in a marriage, your main focus should be her. I think if you have to question whether or not you should wait or move on, is a bad sign.
Why do you want to get married? Out of love or to appease the customs ... (read in full...)
Should I ignore, confront or just walk away, after what she's done?
Q. Here's my dilemma. I just found out that my g/f of 2 years has been emailing an ex. She initiated the conversation and then, over the course of five or six emails, mentioned that she still thinks of him often, then ended the last one with by calling ...
A. 7 November 2015: You have your answer already. You cannot ignore it and you pretend that nothing is wrong. So you will have to confront her.
Ask her why she did it, why she didn't talk to you about things that she may have felt were missing in your relation... (read in full...)
How could he let another woman come between us?
Q. I was with my boyfriend for 5 years. We have 1 daughter together. Our relationship started going downhill ever since I caught him talking inappropriately with another woman. I trusted that he wouldn't continue doing it but in the back of my mind ...
A. 7 November 2015: I'm sorry this had to happen to you. I hooe you find comfort in knowing that it's for the best. A man like him, umcertain of what he wants and dishonest, would not have made a good husband or father. If not this betrayal, it would have been another. ... (read in full...)
Would you break up with your boyfriend over taking secret nude photos
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for over 4 years. I always thought we got along great. We have a lot in common. He is always there for me in my time of need. We have been talking about getting married. I needed some pictures off his camera, so...
A. 7 November 2015: You've had some fantastic advice already. I can only reiterate what Janniepeg and Mina_Bhamji have said tell you that whatever happens, you are going to have to talk to him.
It's a bit of a sensitive topic so, while I think it's important that you... (read in full...)
I'm comparing myself to husband's ex and have feelings of falling short!
Q. I'm new and have one main issue that's been going pretty much since I started dating my hubby a few years ago. He is sweet, smart, hard working, adores me and has never done anything to make me feel insecure. In full disclosure this is strictly an ...
A. 7 November 2015: You seem to know already that these thoughts stem from immature insecurities.
People in general tend to compare themselves to others. It's completely normal. The truth is, there will always be someone better and those who continue to compare ... (read in full...)
I've fallen for a guy twice my age.
Q. Me and a Co worker. Apart from him kissing me on the cheek at a party, a long lasting hug and teaseful poking and podging or hitting thats our physical interaction. A year and a half, he became my friend and i trusted him alot. we fell out as i to...
A. 15 June 2014: YouWish has given excellent advice. When I first read this, I immediately thought that this would not make for a good relationship.
For a moment, pretend there is no wife. You do not want someone as jealous or immature as him. You were going on... (read in full...)
How to make things work with him?
Q. My boyfriend and i met at school. We started dating when we were both 16. We go to universities at opposite ends of the country and have struggled massively with this. constant arguing, barely seeing one another and its reached the point where he ...
A. 11 June 2014: I can understand how you both feel, albeit to a point. When he says he sometimes feels as though he doesn't love you, there is a good chance it doesn't mean what you think it means.
We say things and do things when we argue with someone we love ... (read in full...)
He's a friend and nothing more. He's asked me on a date, but what should I do? Be honest or what ??
Q. I hope you can help me. Im kinda in a tough position. Im doing my Leaving Cert at the mo (Irish GCSES) and right before a big exam a guy friend asked me on a date. I had to say yes not only is he a good friend, he needed to do well in that exam. ...
A. 7 June 2014: I think you should definitely be honest with him. Tell him why you said yes and tell him how it is you really feel. At this point in time, during exams its best he not focus on dating anyway.
I hope that helps.... (read in full...)
Has this turned into a casual sex thing?
Q. so I am a little confused on my situation.. my ex and I are not together, yet we are in this cycle of not talking, then talking, hooking up, meeting up while we are out, then not talking again for a week or two. he is well aware that I love him and ...
A. 29 May 2014: Stop having sex with him and see if he still wishes to talk to you. It is entirely possible that he still loves you but he feels as though he is not ready for a committed relationship. Either way however, I believe it is in your best interests to ... (read in full...)
My family guilted me into getting back in touch with my LDR
Q. I have a dilemma… I dated a guy very shortly (less than 4 mo.) and he wanted to do a long distance thing but I didn’t like him enough to do so. He just didn’t “get it” so I had to rudely and abruptly cut contact and block him. My mom gave me a lot...
A. 29 May 2014: You cannot let your family dictate your choices in such intimate situations. You are an adult, you decide who you are with. If he is what you say he is then he of course is not the right man for you. You know that and your family might not, so tell ... (read in full...)
I'm stressed because I can't seem to find that passionate love.
Q. I am 22 and still did not find "real -passionate love". I had 4 boyfriends but noone of them could impress me so much. I know it might sound strange, then "why I was with them". Well, because I loved them but not with love. Not with THAT kind of ...
A. 29 May 2014: You have to accept that perhaps you simply have not found the right man. Be patient.
Obviously love and passion are very important to you and you are not getting that in this relationship, but, one and a half years is a long enough to time to ... (read in full...)
I cheated on my g/f with 8 women and finally broke it off wanting better for her. Did I do the right thing?
Q. Firstly, I know i'm a scumbag. I have been with my girlfriend for about a year and I do love her. I don't know why but over the last 3 months I have been cheating on her with about 8 different girls. I love her but I just couldn't stop myself. I k...
A. 12 June 2013: You have both been unfaithful toward each other. Yes, you did the right thing this time. Unless you both discover why you were unfaithful to each other if you did indeed love each other so much, I do not see much hope for this relationship. It can ... (read in full...)
My much older husband treats me terribly. The only reason I stay is for the kids. How long will I have to live like this?
Q. I have been married for 4 1/2 years now. For the past 3 years I noticed that my husband started complaining about every little thing in the house. Eg if I put my laptop on the table and my daughter spills water in it he would scream at me in front...
A. 12 June 2013: Leave for yourself and your children. You are there mother and you have every right to take them away from an abusive husband. He tortures you like this because he knows he can. Because he thinks he has you in his grasps. He has no respect for his ... (read in full...)
Why would someone cheat so much on their boyfriend...and should I let my friend know what's going on?
Q. Hi, my good friend's girlfriend is cheating on him with several different men. I know it's not my business but I know the guys and since I talk to them often they've eventually told me about this girl. I've seen her myself kiss other guys and o...
A. 8 June 2013: There are plenty of reasons to cheat. None of them are good reasons or even valid but, they exist and they draw those willing, to cheat on someone who may genuinely care about them simply because, they don't.
People are often conflicted about th... (read in full...)
B/f and I broke up and I got kicked out of the group of friends. Should I have not broken up with b/f?
Q. Something bad has recently happened in my life and I'm hoping somebody here could maybe help. I was with a guy for about a year and a half. Him and I shared a large group of friends and all of us were really close friends. I know it sounds corny,...
A. 8 June 2013: It might feel horrible right now, which is completely understandable, but look at the situation and think about whether it truly could have been the wrong decision.
They act as though they don't care, perhaps those aren't the type of friends ... (read in full...)
Date didn't even call or text to say he wasn't coming for our date!
Q. Me and a guy suppose to be going to the movies but he didn't come pick me up from my house, he told me he would come and we already made plans, I'm already dressed waiting for him but he didn't show up... He didn't even text me or call to tell me he ...
A. 8 June 2013: Has he at the very least apologized? If not, just forget about him. If he lacks the decency to tell you that he will not be there, then he quite clearly does not need to be in your life.
How well do you know him? If he is a new acquaint... (read in full...)
Wife cheated on me and I want to work things out but need advice
Q. My marriage was in shambles because i was drinking excessively. I have been in the military for 3 years and married for 2 1/2 years. She had a miscarriage about a year and a half ago and thats when the major problems started and things havent been ...
A. 7 April 2013: It is good that this relationship seems to be getting better. Continue to be more understanding of her. You must ensure that both of you have completely dealt with the pain you have suffered. A miscarriage is not something one may easily overcome ... (read in full...)
What guy wants an insecure fat girl when he can have a beautiful skinny girl?
Q. So I am quite embarrassed to post my situation here, but I would like to get opinions about my problem. I am 19 years old and being completely honest here, I have never had a boyfriend or even a good guy friend for that matter. I am also overweig...
A. 6 April 2013: Be strong, you are a woman with a sweet heart and you need not heed the negative words of others. I know you must have heard this already but, never listen to them when they sneer or mock you, theirs are but the words of people more afraid than ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend and his ex...is he lying?
Q. I need advice people, here's my dilemma: I have a boyfriend of 7 months now, I met him two years ago and he did then have a gf and I had a bf, nothing came of it, just regular chats here and there. I broke up with my BF and he also broke up with his...
A. 4 April 2013: I think, he made a mistake. I do not know to what extent he took this relationship with his ex to, but I do know that it was rather unfair for him to pursue conversation, however innocent or not, with his ex when you had so clearly cut off all ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend and his ex...is he lying?
Q. I need advice people, here's my dilemma: I have a boyfriend of 7 months now, I met him two years ago and he did then have a gf and I had a bf, nothing came of it, just regular chats here and there. I broke up with my BF and he also broke up with his...
A. 4 April 2013: I think, he made a mistake. I do not know to what extent he took this relationship with his ex to, but I do know that it was rather unfair for him to pursue conversation, however innocent or not, with his ex when you had so clearly cut off all ... (read in full...)
Will he ever stop going on dating sites? I hesitate to allow our relationship to develop further because of this.
Q. Can someone please answer, because I think I am slowly losing my mind through this. I have been dating for three years now. He wants to take our relationship further, but I can`t. The reason I can`t is because for at least two years, I have be...
A. 4 April 2013: You have every right to be insecure about this. Perhaps I might be extreme in saying it but, one might be able to question his commitment to this relationship. Being on a dating site whilst you are in a relationship is odd and failing to stop after ... (read in full...)
I thought we were so good together! Why wasn't I good enough for him?
Q. A month ago my boyfriend broke up with me out of nowhere. We had been dating for six months. I know that isn't the longest amount of time, but since the very first day we met, we were inseperable. We connected on every level, mentally, emotionally, ...
A. 3 April 2013: All I can say is, you simply have to move on.
This man does not know what he wants or who. He may or may not have been seeing that woman before he broke up with you but, nevertheless, you two simply were not right for each other. I realize ... (read in full...)
Lately arguments seem to be tearing us apart
Q. Me and my partner have been together for 3 years, we both love eachother alot and have had our fair share of problems but we cant seem to be apart. Recently we have been having a lot of arguments and it is begining to tear us apart. No matter how ...
A. 2 April 2013: From what you are saying, it seems as though this string of arguments that you say have only just begun to tear you two apart, has stemmed from a problem that most likely quite early on. Only you did not see it. You have been together for 3 years, ... (read in full...)
There have been plenty of opportunities for my b/f to say he loves me! So why doesn't he?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 6 months now, we are both 19 and I am sure I love him, having been in love before. I do everything for him from cooking for him if he finishes work late, to just doing thoughtful things such as putting his washing ...
A. 2 April 2013: Love is quite a powerful word. How long have you actually known your boyfriend? Dating someone for 6 months is barely enough time to know whether or you love them. Perhaps you simply fall for people more easily. Perhaps you are more comfortable with ... (read in full...)
FWB--should I bring up the subject of being exclusive? Or just chill and see what happens?
Q. Short version: I'm hooking up with this guy, who's friends with my friends, so we're at each other's houses most weekends. No talk of exclusivity, but we're not dating anyone else, and he's made a point out of acting quite couple-like in front of ...
A. 2 April 2013: You are witness to his behavior and from what you have told us, it seems as though this is slightly more than a simple friends-with-benefits type of relationship. If it feels right to you, I see no reason why you cannot simply ask him. Casually.
... (read in full...)
I told her I needed space and now I find she's been having sex with the husband of one of her friends! I'm shocked!
Q. My girlfriend and I have been dating for 7 years and recently I told her I needed some space because I am currently in school trying to finish my degree in Respiratory therapy which has been extremely stressful. We still see each other once a week ...
A. 1 April 2013: Were I to be absolutely honest? You should leave her. She betrayed you and the only reason she seems so apologetic now is because she got caught. What drove her to do it? It might have been the thrill of cheating, it might have been the sex. In any ... (read in full...)
Should I pursue this or drop the relationship?
Q. Oh man this is a rough one. I hope someone can steer me in a better way of thinking! My current girlfriend, whom I have been seeing roughly 6 weeks messed up majorly. Now don't get me wrong, I really do love her. It was an instant feeling, and it ...
A. 1 April 2013: Did she tell you how those three nights were spent? I assume this ex-boyfriend of hers is a drug user? If so, then you are right, she never had to get in the car but consider, she stopped taking drugs for you and it almost killed her. Six months is ... (read in full...)
He let my family and I believe for 3 years that his parents were dead!
Q. I'm not at all sure what to think about this, and would like some opinions. Here it goes: I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years. He's been studying hard and is aiming for his masters, I support him fully and I know he does the same for me. We ...
A. 13 March 2013: I do not think you should be too upset. I can understand a certain amount of anger but, I believe he has the right to hide this away. Not lie, but, it is his choice about whether or not to be forthcoming about his family. Just to clarify, did he ... (read in full...)
Is there a way to know if you're ready for marriage?
Q. I was best friends with my boyfriend for 4 years before we started dating. We've been together for a little over a year now and I'm due with our first child in about a month. My boyfriend wants us to get married but I'm worried about being ready. I...
A. 5 March 2013: Do you feel ready? Everyone is afraid of failing and that is natural, but you seem to know that these worries of yours are uncalled for. I have seen people approach this in two ways. Some either shut their eyes, take the plunge and hope for the best ... (read in full...)
My wife cheated and I want to keep our family together but how do I get over the images in my head?
Q. Hello. I write to you today because I recently found out that my lovely wife, best friend, and mother of my 3 lovely children has had an ongoing sexual relationship for the last 10 years. I found emails from the two of them on her laptop and they ...
A. 4 March 2013: I am truly sorry but you must leave her right away. Take a look at what you have written and ask yourself, who exactly are you trying to persuade here? She is not the decent woman you thought she was. Had she truly possessed what integrity you ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend drinks and tells me he's sleeping with other people, what should I do?
Q. Hello i have been with my partner now for 2 1/2 years and has been a very terbulant relationship, he drinks heavily and when he aint arounf me he promises he wont drink and when i phone him and he is drunk on the phone or even before he gets to that ...
A. 1 February 2013: People like him do not deserve nearly as many chances as you have given him. You gave him forgiveness and many chances and he spat in your face.
You know what to do already. It might be difficult, entirely understandable if it is. You must tea... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend only with me because he can't have her?
Q. Hi, My boyfriend hurt me earlier in our relationship. I told him I cannot tolerate it anymore and left him. He spent two months taking a good hard look at himself, he came back outta nowhere and wanted to me tell about what he learned. It was ...
A. 1 February 2013: How much of their friendship are you actually aware of at this point? I ask only because, perhaps all this is, is in fact simply him admiring someone in a platonic way. Only a possibility. If he is going out of his way to make you feel special then, ... (read in full...)
I am a cheater but is that really so bad?
Q. I am cheating on my GF. should i stop. i cant help it i like the excitement of chasing new women and when i see a beautiful woman im curious how it feels to be with her. but i like having something guaranteed at home. but people make it seem like a ...
A. 22 August 2012: I'm curious as to why you asked this question if you felt it was not a big deal. Clearly you have doubts. I assume then that you are not so adamant in thinking that cheating is no big deal. I also find it curious that toward the end of the post you ... (read in full...)
Am I wrong for wanting to get out of my relationship?
Q. Am I wrong for wanting to get out of my relationship? .... We were together 3 years. He abused me emotionally and physically. Everytime i tried to leave he'd manipulate me into giving him anther chance. This time I didn't let him though he tried ...
A. 9 July 2012: You made the right choice in leaving. What he says now is a result of his current desperation. He needs you back only so that he may abuse you again and again. That is how the cycle goes and how it will always go until he decides he wants to stop ... (read in full...)
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