A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I am new to this so sorry if I'm doing it wrong.Anyways, I am currently 19 years old and I really want to have sex with my boyfriend of 8 months, but I am terrified of getting pregnant... I know about condoms, but those arent always effective. Please help!P.s I have heard that your first time hurts a lot, is this true?
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female
reader, person12345 +, writes (6 February 2012):
 The safest you can really get is to be on the pill AND use a condom, you can pick just one as you get more comfortable. If you take the pill correctly it's more than 99% effective (fewer than 1 in 100 women will become pregnant, not 3 in 100) and condoms are very effective if you use them correctly. If somehow the condom does break, if you are on the pill do not take plan b in addition. It will not protect you further, it will just make you feel ill. Some tips on condom usage:
Once the condom is on, "pinch an inch" at the top. Make sure it's not pulled extremely tight across the top, so there's a reservoir.
Use a water or silicone based (NOT OIL BASED, NEVER OIL BASED) lube at the top of the outside of the condom. Do not apply lube inside the condom. This puts less stress on the condom. Most condoms are lubricated ahead of time though.
Have him reach down and check the base of the condom before he ejaculates (as he gets close) to make sure it's in place.
As soon as he's done, have him reach down and grab the base of the condom as he pulls out. Once he's ejaculated you cannot keep having sex. It's very important he grab the base. It is also helpful if you relax your PC muscles.
It's a myth that sex will hurt a lot the first time. It will hurt a lot if you're not ready, but if you get ready there's no reason for it to hurt. Your vagina does not stretch out after you have sex or change in any way. Many women have already broken their hymen, and even if you haven't, it shouldn't hurt. In order to prevent it hurting, I always tell beginning women to make it a rule that their partner has to be able to bring them to orgasm, or at least very close to orgasm before even thinking of having sex for the first time. If you're not extremely turned on, like near orgasm, it's going to hurt the first time you have sex. If you are close to orgasm levels of aroused, it shouldn't hurt much if at all.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2012): "I am terrified of getting pregnant... "
I can offer you an absolutely foolproof time-tested clinically proven 100% effective way to prevent unwanted pregnancy: don't have sex.
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A
female
reader, Lolly_Poll  +, writes (6 February 2012):
Don't be sorry!! You can't ask for advice wrong! Condoms if used correctly are incredibly effective, but can in very rare occurences tear or burst. It might put your mind at ease to go on some form of birth control or contraceptive as well as using condoms.
My first time was aged 17 with my boyfriend, and for a few seconds the pain was so intense, but after that, didn't hurt at all. Was very enjoyable. No bleeding
Not everyone bleeds, and not everyone's first time hurts. Just tell him to take it slow with you, and be gentle and you'll be fine. A lot of people like to use lube, which will make it easier for him to fit inside you, hurting much much less :) Have fun :)
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2012): Condoms are quite effective, actually. Most people use condoms. They prevent from STDs too.
Just make sure he buys the right size, so that it won't come off during lovemaking.
Pills are very effective and common, too.
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A
female
reader, bardia +, writes (5 February 2012):
 Sorry to tell you but if someone is meant to come into the world it'll happen no matter what precautions you take. A friend of mine was one of the 3% that still got pregnant while on birth control pills. So you'd better be 100% sure you're ready for whatever happens. As for pain, it's different for everyone. It's more awkward than anything initially, but once you're in the middle of it that'll be the last thing you're thinking about.
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