A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend left me after 11 years for a woman who has a young boy of about 7-8 years, he 30 this year I'm 47 and she's 31, he's only been with her for 5 weeks.I found out last night she is a big girl size 16 and non atractive (I know there's nothing against her being big as she is choosing to be that size).I'm a size 12 and I'm fit as I do a lot running and circuits, I've been told that I'm fairly attractive, "why is he choosing her over me"? Also he's not taking all his clothes, he told to move but he is still texting me with kisses after the message, do you think he knows what he wants apart from dangling me, do you think he will wake up one day!!!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2009): First, beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, so maybe he thinks she's pretty whether you do or not. Second, love and attraction are based on a lot more than looks. Maybe they have more in common with each other, maybe she has some personality traits you don't have, maybe she's super nice to him. But it really doesn't matter WHY he's with her. He's no longer with you, and that's what you have to deal with.He's stringing you along for the time being to make sure things are going to work out with the new girl before cutting ties with you. A lot of people do this because they don't want to be alone, but this is very selfish and unfeeling toward the person they're dangling. Don't let him do this to you. You need to look out for yourself, which is something he isn't doing, so cut all contact with him. It will be easier this way, you'll be able to get over him a lot faster than if you drag it out by still talking to or seeing him. Believe me, I sympathize with you, I'm going through a breakup as well of 3.5 months now. I've maintained no contact since the very beginning, and as hard as it is, I know it would be a lot harder if I still talked to him. And I would HATE to know that he's dating someone else, which he probably is, but ignorance is bliss! So do yourself a favor, no more contact, hard after 11 years but it's what you have to do. I'm sorry you're hurt, but you deserve someone who respects you. Always remember that and you will find the right guy.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2009): hi kc100 no i have not seen her but my boyfriend's dad's girlfriend did? Also she is probably quite big as she drinks a lot of booze. My ex said to me at the time i am a 100% better then she is dont think he knows what he wants ? his mum husband left her in oct and she is very low aboout this very suicidle and then i got made redandant !!!so i think it all got on top him !
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (23 January 2009):
 Well I think you a being pretty naive if you think he will come back to you because you are two dress sizes smaller than her. Being a size 16 does not make you a "big girl", it is the average size of a woman in the UK. Now I am not defending obesity in any way nor am I big (I'm a size 12-14). Some people cannot help being larger - genetics play a big part, illness, childbirth etc. I think you are being a bit quick to judge this woman purely on her size. Have you actually seen her?Regardless of what size she is, the fact is your boyfriend has left you. It doesn't matter why or who for, you need to accept the reality that he has gone. There are proabably a million reasons why he could have left - she is closer to his own age, he may not like your fitness freak lifestyle.... the list could go on and on. Do you want to be waiting around for a man that is with another woman? Surely if you had some self respect then you would not want him back after he has treated you so badly. You can make a choice - keep being his back up plan in case things go wrong with this new woman or you can take all his clothes round to his house and never speak to him again. Whatever option you choose, just don't blame yourself or the other woman. It is his decision, nobody elses.
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A
female
reader, carriebaby +, writes (23 January 2009):
 Dont let him make an idiot out of you. If he insists your relationship is over then make him take all his stuff and to leave you alone. He is stringing you along incase this new relationship turns sour very quick. If that is the case, he will come crawling back.When he txts you with kisses at the end, ask him to explain why he still does that when he has broken your heart by leaving. It can be so hurtful when your man leaves you for a younger woman but thats men being men!You sound like your a fit woman, just start to rebuild your life and get out more with friends. Dont let him take you for granted any longer!Good luck
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