A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone, My boyfriend and I recently split, He was my first and only sexual partner.Now that we are not together, I feel depressed and empty...Like I've lost something important to me.I feel like I just want to go out and have sex with random guys, to make myself feel better....I know this is horrible......I dont know what to do!
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female
reader, aunty_rach  +, writes (26 January 2009):
you will find someone else.
it's all part of life to experience different relationships. just because he was your first, does not mean he is your last. look forward to the future. you are still very young and shouldn't worry about it. enjoy yourself and just wait untill someone special comes along.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI don't regret having sex at all....We really care for each other.I am pretty devo about breaking up, I miss him and wish we were still together.Not much I can do about that though.Thanks
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A
female
reader, carriebaby +, writes (26 January 2009):
 Its hard to believe it when people say to you that you will feel better after time. But you will!! It is hard when you break up with your first sexual partner as you had all this trust in that person to go through with it. Unfortunately life sucks this way and i very much doubt there are many people out there who are still with their first and only sexual partner.
i wouldnt advise you to go out and sleep with random guys to make you feel better because after it you will feel guilty and dirty. You dont have to do that.
Try see more of your friends and let them know how you are feeling, talk to your mum or a teacher or whoever you feel comfortable talking too.
I hope you feel better soon
let me know how you get on
x
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (26 January 2009):
 Dont worry about feeling like this; your first love and first sexual partner is always the hardest to get over. You need to realise that he was a big part of your life and that you shared some good times; it is only natural to feel upset and alone after a break up.
They say breaking up with someone is almost like a bereavement; where you have someone in your life one minute and the next they are gone. You have to let yourself grieve for your relationship; you must have really cared for him so you have to think - where have these feelings gone? And in reality, they havent gone anywhere just because you have split.
I know this is pretty rubbish but you will feel depressed for quite some time, and it wont get much easier for a while. Allow yourself to cry, to watch soppy movies and generally feel sorry for yourself! Believe me jsut crying sometimes makes you feel better just to release your emotions.
Now as for the sexual side; your need to sleep with other men will just be an urge to fill the void that your boyfriend has left. But if you sleep with a random guy, you will only end up feeling more empty as it meant nothing. Thats why the sex will have been so good with your boyfriend; because you both cared for each other. Sex wont be good with a random guy, it will only make you feel worse.
Just give yourself some time to get over your relationship, spend lots of time with friends and family and soon you will feel much better. After a few months you will wonder why you felt so bad, it will seem like a distant memory!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2009): Break ups are rarely easy, what you are feeling are very common emotions too, Emotions that will subside in time.I must warn you though, that going out and having sex with randoms guys might ease the pain for brief moment but it won't take away that empty feeling and once your done with them you'll most likely feel worse. You won't get what you are missing from going out and having sex, because that's not the only thing you miss about having a boyfriend, you miss feeling wanted, needed, you miss the intimacy you had with him. Best to wait a little while try and focus on other things in your life, hang out with your friends, do other things that make you happy, these feelings will go away and by the time they do you might have found another guy.
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