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Is this considered cheating?

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 January 2009) 6 Answers - (Newest, 22 January 2009)
A female United States age 36-40, *rsTJ writes:

I went on my bf of 1 years my space account and saw that a girl emailed him something called a hubby appliction. On it he said that he wants to have sex with her, kiss her and stuff like that. He has never met this girl and she lives across the country. He said he was just joking and that the girl knows that he is in a relationship. What should I do?

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A male reader, random592 United States +, writes (22 January 2009):

i dont think you should worry about it at all its like you being attracted to another guy its just he wrote it down but for him to go that far to cheat on you is incredibly unrealistic

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (21 January 2009):

Honeypie agony auntTo me, cheating is doing stuff you normally wouldn't do in front of your partner.

It can easily be a start of an emotional affair if you ask me. But the fact that he is open and honest about it is a good thing. If it upsets you, you should let him know. He might not find it AS funny if he knows it hurt your feelings.

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A male reader, Dazzerg United Kingdom +, writes (21 January 2009):

Dazzerg agony auntI tend to have to come down on the side of saying its not cheating but its a bit cheeky. Purely and simply it's not cheating because thought-crime doesnt exist and isnt something that we generally hold to be punishable. He didnt do anything and unless there is anything else to indicate there is anything more than what he said it is then you have to give him the benefit of the doubt. Good luck :)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2009):

That's really hard , l am in the same situation, to be honest with , your boyfriend is actual a cheat, l know my hubby is a cheat but l keep pushing it at the back of my mind, he always comes up with those stupid answers that he was just joking and he wont admit he has done anything wrong. Watch out, he might be coming up with something, that's how it starts. you surely don't want to end miserable like me.

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A female reader, k_c100 United Kingdom +, writes (21 January 2009):

k_c100 agony auntWell technically it is not cheating as he has not met her in person however he is being very disrespectful towards you!

I think you need to sit down with him and tell him that his behaviour has upset you and that you wont tolerate it. He might think of it as a bit of fun and not realise how much it hurts you that he speaks to another woman like that.

Talking is your best option - no shouting or screaming but just sit down together and you explain the way his behaviour makes you feel. If he loves you he will respect your wishes and stop it imediately. If you catch him doing it again after you've told him not to - then it might be time to leave!

Good luck!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2009):

Disregard it. If your relationship is solid, mature, trusting and strong then it shouldn't matter what his MySpace life consist of. Just ignore it.

If it really bothers you that much then confront him about it and ask him to delete his MySpace. It's just a website.

You should matter more to him then a website. lol

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