A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey guys,I am 19, and my GF is 18.Basically, my girlfriend loves me says I am perfect for her, says she wants to marry me and everything.Prior to this, I guess our lowest point is when she kissed a guy out clubbing drunk (i know no excuse but yea )I forgave her because I love her. Anyway, since then we have been fine until one night she says she wants to kiss other guys, not to experience it emotionally, but physically. She says its not like every time she goes out she will kiss a guy but if she finds a guy she wants to she will. She says she is getting attention from guys she never thought she would and she wants to expereince the physical. She basically said the same goes to me. This is not sex or anything but just kissing.While she is my first GF, I have been with one other girl before her, and she has 1 boyfriend before me.So yea, back to the kissing thing, she says it would only be for a while, not like every week, and she might not even do it.wont go further then a kiss is what I am trying to say.Has anyone gone through this, does this work?I am mixed feelings about it... I never really thought about doing stuff with other girls during the time we have been together. I might notice girls but not like damm wanna sleep with her..So yea =[Im so confused...We are looking to move in together as soon as we are financially set. We both go to uni and yea..btw we have been going out for 14 months..
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male
reader, cpm1210  +, writes (30 December 2010):
Hey, I feel your same pain. I've been with this girl for 9 months now. She hasn't asked me to kiss other guys, but she does it. She doesn't deny it or anything either. She saids its just friendly, that she only does it with her "bestfriends." Now from where I'm from, we greet our friends with a hug or a kiss on the cheek...But I saw pictures of her and her "friends" and shes kissing them, not like a simple kiss, but a "hooking up" type of kiss. I can see an attraction when her eyes meets the other guys eyes and it kills me inside. I can't even stand to talk with her anymore now, and I really don't want to avoid her...But that's just wrong. I would never do that to her. Just remember this my friend, "Love is the most reformed type of madness."
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2010): WENT exactly in that same way with me and my bf. We were madly in love, i kissed a guy one night because I was really drunk (and 18!!), he got mad but forgave me, and couple of weeks later I mentioned to him that I kinda like kissing guys because I wanted it for the "physical" not the emotional effect. WOW! The exact same scenario!! WOW! Anyway, I could tell you honestly what your gf must have been thinking but this post is an year old but I thought I was the only one that felt that I loved my boyfriend truly and honestly but I didn't want to give up my freedom to make out with cute guys. I can say that I would never sleep with any of those guys because thats not what makes me happy only kissing does. Sex is something I only want to share with my bf and he knows that I would NEVER EVER sleep with someone no matter how drunk I got. I would never have a one night stand ever! Anyway, mind telling me if you two are still dating or what happened or how did it work so I could know what may happen with my bf and I...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2009): A hug leads to a kiss, a kiss leads to a lick and a lick and a lick leads to a suck and a suck leads to a fuck… Angel your girl is young, and yes she wants to experience, but from my point of view once you make a commitment you don’t do that, yea I thought about it to not so long ago, and I got advise on the subject went home and thought about it, I love my BF way to much and he’s kisses are enough for me, yes I do wonder what it would be like (ive been with him for 6 years and I am only 22) but I leave it there, I don’t want to ruin what we have, not for anything and I knew that could ruin us, some people are cool with this, but it sounds like you aren’t and I don’t blame you, there is only a few people in the world who still believe in a one man one woman relationship, some have open relationships and they are happy together, but if you don’t both feel the same way about it, you cannot do this otherwise your relationship is over, I use to have a problem with my man wanting to watch porn with me, and it almost ruined us, until some people on the site, made me understand how guys feel about porn and why they like watching it, and I changed my opinion on it, and now I like it just as much, but you need to find that go ahead within yourself, make 100 % sure of what you getting yourself into before you do.Another thing that I have learned is that sometimes one person in a relationship says they want to have an open relationship, but as soon as the other person sleeps with or kisses someone else they cant stand it, they cant stand the thought of their partner doing that and then decides to change, so perhaps go and kiss a girl and see what she says about this, she might not be able to handle that, she might change her mind about being open please just remember, this is my opinion, hope everything works out for you and your girl sounds like you love her
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2009): If she loves you then why would she want to kiss other men, I think if she really truly loves you....all she would need was you. I think if you still are getting confused and upset about this...i dont think you should put youself in situation were it could make you stress..maybe you should give her time to figure out what she really wants
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2009): (I am original Poster)11This prob sounds cliche but I know for sure she wont do more than kiss a guy, if she does. She goes out with her best friend, whom I know and am friends with, and she wouldn't let my GF hook up with randoms let alone go home with them. Unless something changes with herself as well, shes not the type of person to sleep around aswel. And just to clarify, if we do the allowing to kiss other guys, we would still be together and see each other, its not like we are taking a break or something.I dont know, we are very weird..Joe, I think its like you said, she is getting a boost from these guys. But I understand how kissing could lead to other things.One option we have through of is to maybe try to have a threesome with a girl maybe? Or even couple. Ive told her that I would like a week or so to think about what she has asked, and I reckon its like what joe said, it will either make us closer or break us up.Thanks for all your input guys. I know everyone says this, but I feel this relationship is different than others. But time will tell..
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (27 January 2009):
 Simple, she wants her cake and eat it to.
Get rid of her.
Read very carefully what she is saying, "I love you, I want to marry you, I want to fool around with other men". Oh, yeah, it is "just" kissing right now. Maybe it is. Kissing, snogging, groping, oral, sex.
Why does she want to do it? She claims because she wants to experience it physically. Even if you take that for true, then why should she not want to experience other things physically with other people?
Her real reasons are probably either that she either is an attention seeker who just can't excist without constant praise from as many people as possible or that she just ain't ready to settle down yet. Some people just ain't monogamous, especially not when young.
If you stick with her, it is going to tear you up emotionally unless you feel exactly the same way. Be smart, see that you and her want different things and end it before both of you end up getting into something you can't handle.
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A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (27 January 2009):
 I know this might sound like a good idea to you at the moment as it seems like a way of saving your relationship but believe me, DONT DO IT!Basically I was that girl back when I was 17/18, except I didnt tell my boyfriend at the time (I know, terrible person but I've grown up now!). I went out clubbing with my friends, got drunk and would kiss any cute guys that would show an interest. This went on for a few months and guess what, it didnt stop at kissing. I eventually got more and more confidence from all these guys wanting to get with me so I ended up sleeping with a couple of guys when I still had a boyfriend.Your girlfriend will end up doing the same, even if she thinks she wont right now then she will after a few drinks.The lesson I learnt (now I'm 21 and looking back on it all) - I was immature, not ready for a serious relationship and I was to easily swayed by any guy who would show me attention (due to being bullied at school and told I looked like a man throughout my teenage years). Dont move in with this girl, dont commit anymore of your time to her. She is not ready!!! She will only end up hurting you and things will get messy when you have rent/mortgage to pay. I know it will be so hard for you as you clearly love her and want this relationship to work but you need to accept that your girlfriend does not feel the same way about you. And if you do get the courage to break up with her then what will probably happen is she will go off with a load of guys for a month or too, realise that being single and the "physical" side of things with guys is not that much fun after all. She will probably come back to you a month/two months later saying she made a mistake and asking for you back.At this point you will have a choice:1. Take her back knowing she got all that crazy young woman physical/sexual energy out of her and that hopefully she wont get the urge to do it again.2. You will have already moved on in those few months and feel that you are actually better off without her.You summed it up pretty well yourself; you have never thought about being with another girl. But she thinks about other guys. Not good in a relationship! Be strong and dont put up with this behaviour - you deserve more!
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A
male
reader, The old Man? +, writes (27 January 2009):
 It sounds like your girlfriend is happy with you, but she is still curious of what else is out there. It's best she gets this out of her system before you two move in together. My caution to you is that being she does this when drinking, the kiss "only", very well could lead to other "activities". I'm not saying she will, but she does seem to have a curiosity of other men. You mentioned that she is getting attention from men that she never thought she would. It appears that she may have an esteem issue, and these men are giving her a boost!Some men and women are satisfied with falling in love with one person, and not experiencing others, while others tend to have the desire to "stop and smell the roses" so to speak.My advice is, if you can handle this, allow her to do as she wishes. At the same time, if you feel the desire to do the same, do so! This may also awaken her to the fact that while she is doing as she wishes, you too can do as you wish. Please understand, I am not encouraging that you play games with her, but often times, if you want to get through to someone, you have to speak to them in their own language! While as of now you may feel that you are meant for one another, there is still some unrest between the two of you. Don't be hasty to move in together until you are positive she no longer has the curiosity of other men.After a while, you two will either grow closer together, or farther apart. It's best to find out now, instead of after you are living together.Best of wishes,Joe
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A
male
reader, bjork +, writes (27 January 2009):
Hi, I'd try to knock this on the head if possible. It sounds like she'sloving the attention but the worrying thing you mentioned is she wants to experience the phsical. There may come a time when kissing gets boring to her and she wants to experience more. This is deffinately not the usual behaviour of someone in a commited relationship. If it's hurting you then explain that to her and if she really wants to be with you she wil stop.
It sounds like it could be innocent at the moment but I'd be concerned it could lead to her doing less innocent things than just kissing.
Good luck to you.
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