A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been in a FWB before. I am being offered another one now. Let's get real. Is this ever something girls do and they're NOT just settling for it? Wouldn't they ALWAYS really rather have an exclusive relationship with that guy if he was willing? That was what I got into before. It seems like every time I can recall a FWB happening with anyone, that was what was really going on. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2009): I dont think that woman try and lure men into relationships conciously. Men and woman are just different. Women sleep with men they like and are attracted to and men are users that think of nothing but their own needs and are happy to put their penisis in anything with a heartbeat.
A
female
reader, AshB0  +, writes (18 June 2009):
As most people have said here most of us hope that the guy will look past the sex and see us for the wonderful people that we are!
If all you are looking for is FWB then be prepared to hurt the girl because the chances that you will are very high. We just get attatched its as simple as that.
I am right now trying to get myself out of the FWB habit, I am just over it Ive been hurt too many times.
But then in saying that theres always the odd guy that you dont get attactched to. These are the ones that make it very clear that they only want sex from the beginning.
Tell her at the very start and make sure shes very clear about where you both stand.
...............................
A
female
reader, nickichici +, writes (18 June 2009):
It is possible for a female to want nothing more than a friend with benefits. That was what I wanted. I just got out of a four year relationship and a buddy to go home with was all I wanted. The downside, from my experience, someone will eventually get attached. Oh, and do not say yes if your possible FWB has kids. Trust me.
...............................
A
female
reader, kaylagal +, writes (18 June 2009):
 The majority of women are not wired to have a sexual relationship with no emotional attachment. A very small percentage, very small can do it like guys do.
But you're absolutely correct, women do it in hope that you fall in love with them.
...............................
A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (18 June 2009):
Women are just different than men. Women pretty much always develop emotional feelings toward someone that they are having a sexual relationship with. In the beginning, they may feel that they can put their feelings and emotions aside even though they like the guy, but really, they can't. A woman that gets into a FWB realtionship with a guy almost always ends up hurt because that's all that it is. It's not like we're trying to be sneaky, but it's within most of us women to try and "change" someone. That hopefully with time the guy will see past the sex for who we really are and want to be with us--but usually it's just not the case.
...............................
A
female
reader, hijacked_dignity +, writes (18 June 2009):
 Girls live in this delusional world that if they have sex with a guy, that will totally knock them head over heals in love. Pop drop and lock it. This simply isn't the case. Guys are definitely less inclined to become exclusive with a woman who sleeps with them without any attachment. Why be in a relationship when they can get the benefits for nothing? I think you're going to have a hard time finding a girl who is ok with just being FWB and nothing else. Sex usually brings an sense of attachment to most women. Even if they don't intend it in being more than that (which they usually do intend), they begin to with time. It's just the way things are. Women and men are different like that. Polar opposites in fact. You just have to find that small percent of women who don't care one way or another, or be prepared to break a few hearts. It's one of the consequences of casual sex.
...............................
A
female
reader, MonicaC +, writes (18 June 2009):
 Almost any woman who offers a friends-with-benefits deal is interested in more than that. Don't get me wrong. There are certainly women out there who can have sex with a guy on a regular basis and not get into an emotional thing with him. But, they are rare. Just keep your eyes wide open and be cautious in these kinds of involvements.
...............................
A
female
reader, MinnieM  +, writes (17 June 2009):
Lots of women do use the friends with benefits come-on to lure you into their bed hoping you will appreciate them more than just for sex.......I believe that a lot of women get their sexual desires and their emotional ones confused or intertwined... some women will start something purely on a friendly basis but then develop feelings for you the more time they spend with you... but there are a few of us who just need servicing by someone who knows their way between the sheets!The only way you will know which is which is research and experience... be honest and upfront to start with about your intentions and cool things off if you think things are developing beyond what you want.
...............................
A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (17 June 2009):
 I think you are right about 95% of women here! The majority of girls who have a FWB either start out with feelings for the guy thinking they can turn it into something more, or even if they didnt have feelings for him at the start somewhere along the line they will want more than just sex!
There is that rare 5% (or so!) of women who can keep sex and their emotions seperate but it is so difficult to find! I guess thats the risk you take when you get into a FWB, she could be genuinely just wanting sex but you know in most cases there is always a hidden agenda!
I am one of the rare 5% I would say most of the time, and if I know I like an unnatainable guy then I would never enter into a FWB cos I know I would just get hurt. But I guess most women like a challenge and always believe they will be the one to "tame" him!
I hope this helps!
...............................
|
