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I feel I have made enough mistakes in my life to hopefully help people when they get into a similar situation. This site is fantastic just for getting your feelings off your chest and to get some advice from people who wont judge you, I really enjoy just being a part of this and helping in any way I can!
I will happily admit that I dont have vast amounts of wisdom on marriage, bereavement and many other topics but I would never respond to a question where I feel I dont have enough personal experience to help in any way.
I hope you find some hope and meaning in my advice but always remember, do what feels right to you in your heart, not what someone tells you to do on here. We are only here to help, the hard bit is for you to make the decision yourself! |
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| Latest articles: Male Vs Female; A Debate On The Male Obsession With A Woman’s Past
This question has 33 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 August 2009: After recently seeing a large number of posts on this site from men asking how to deal with a woman’s sexual past, I wondered why men were so concerned with something that at the end of the day, cannot be changed. So I entered into a conversation ...
For all those teenagers worried if they may be pregnant/got their girlfriend pregnant...!
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 February 2009: After reading many posts on this website recently from worried teens about whether or not they are pregnant, I would like to offer some advice to you all. 1. If you have had a period after the incident then it is highly unlikely you are pregnant...
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Women aged 20-29 - please answer this!
Q. I've been seeing my gf for about 4 mos (I'm 39- shes 25) I know big gap. Anyway, about a month in -- we had "the talk" ---and I found out about her not so innocent past. It made me sick to find out she had slept with 15 other guys before me. ...
A. 25 August 2009: Well I absolutely despise reality TV so I think you may be a little stereotypical in your last post! I dont think that reality TV condones casual sex, I think the problem lies in the way young men are brought up thinking that they are "Studs" if ... (read in full...)
Could I be getting pregnancy symptoms 10 days after sex?
Q. i had sex 10 days ago and since yesterday i have been feeling differant eg. i sat down to eat a sandwitch witch my stomake was rumbling for so i sat down to eat it took one mouth full and felt sick and could not eat it anymore and i keep getting ...
A. 24 August 2009: Well there definately is a chance you could be pregnant then - even though he pulled out before he came there is something called pre-cum which contains sperm and this leaks out of the penis when the guy is really turned on, so the liklihood is that ... (read in full...)
How can I make the next time we have sex less painful? And how far inside is the hymen?
Q. I'm 18, and have been with my boyfriend 2 months. I'm a virgin, and until him I hadn't done anything sexually. We tried having sex last week but he only got in a couple of inches before I could take the pain no more. How can I lessen the pain? We ...
A. 24 August 2009: Its closer to the outside of the body - hence why it is easily broken with tampons, sports etc. If he went in a couple of inches then it was definately broken and you are not a virgin anymore!
As for next time, you just need to be really relaxed.... (read in full...)
Could I be getting pregnancy symptoms 10 days after sex?
Q. i had sex 10 days ago and since yesterday i have been feeling differant eg. i sat down to eat a sandwitch witch my stomake was rumbling for so i sat down to eat it took one mouth full and felt sick and could not eat it anymore and i keep getting ...
A. 24 August 2009: Well when you had sex was it unprotected? If you didnt use a condom or are not on the pill then there is always a chance you could be pregnant so wait until you miss your period to take a test. If you did use protection and nothing went wrong (i.e. ... (read in full...)
7 days pill break equals no sex?
Q. My boyfriend and I are starting to get closer in bed, im still a virgin but I know he is the right guy and we're going to be togeter forever. But the only proble is im on my 7 day break on the pill. Ive heard that you're not supposed to have sex for ...
A. 24 August 2009: The pill protects you even when you are on your 7 day break when you have your period - this is because the pill works by stopping your ovaries releasing an egg. So even when you have your 7 day break for your period - there is no egg to be ... (read in full...)
Women aged 20-29 - please answer this!
Q. I've been seeing my gf for about 4 mos (I'm 39- shes 25) I know big gap. Anyway, about a month in -- we had "the talk" ---and I found out about her not so innocent past. It made me sick to find out she had slept with 15 other guys before me. ...
A. 23 August 2009: well I think you have received some judgemental answers on here and no-one has actually answered your questions! So hopefully I will be able to help! The only thing I didnt like in your question was "I have forgiven her" - she had nothing to be ... (read in full...)
Side effects of the morning after pill?
Q. I've just taken the morning after pill prescribed by my doctor, but didn't think to ask what exactly is going to happen to by body, and I can't find it any where on the internet. I was just wondering if any one else who has taken it can tell me, ...
A. 23 August 2009: Read the leaflet that comes in the box with the morning after pill - that explains what happens.
Basically the morning after pill works by affecting the lining of the womb so an egg cannot settle there and/or by preventing or delaying the rele... (read in full...)
I want to have sex but don't want to get pregnant
Q. well im in love with my boyfriend verry much and he lives in texas he is comming down to see me next summer and we planed on making love but im afraid i have done it b4 but now i can get pregnant and i realy want to with him but i dont know what to ...
A. 23 August 2009: Well I'm sure when you had sex before you still could have gotten pregnant - what did you use last time to prevent pregnancy!
Basically in order for there to be no chance of you getting pregnant you need to be taking birth control and using a ... (read in full...)
How do I get out of something I don't really want to be in?
Q. I met my girlfriend about six years ago and we've been together coming up 5 years now I think, but I feel like I've lost interest in the relationship. I don't know, cause she's a nice and lovely person. But things just keep coming up, like ...
A. 21 August 2009: So basically you are just fed up with being in a relationship and want to be young free and single! There is no shame in that - I thankfully never settled into a long term relationship when I was too young because I knew I would end up feeling like ... (read in full...)
I'm scared! How can he fit inside me if he is so big? His sexual past also bothers me.
Q. My boyfriend has slept with 71 girls. And i have slept with only 2 boys. We have together for nearly 6 months and we feel we are ready to sleep together. However Im scared at the fact he has slept with 71 girls and way more experienced than me and ...
A. 21 August 2009: Make sure he gets a STD test before he goes anywhere near you! The chances are if he has slept with that many women that not all times were protected, so he really does need to get tested before you sleep together. The test is pretty easy and can be ... (read in full...)
My 2nd ex husband left me financially helpless!
Q. Dear Cupid:i was with a man for 9 years: he was my night in shining armour. He was married for 24 years prior to meeting me. His first wife left him because he brought her to financial bankruptcy. He told me it was not his fault for loosing their ...
A. 21 August 2009: Men often control women by using money because typically they assume we no nothing about financial matters therefore it should be there role to look after the finances for the two of you. It seems like your ex-husband is very good at controlling ... (read in full...)
Ladies, how much does your man spend on you each month?
Q. Ladies, how much does your boyfriend/fiance/husband generally spend on you each month? I feel like my fiance spends way too much money on me and I feel really guilty. Any advice or input is appreciated =)...
A. 21 August 2009: Seen as I'm in the UK I dont know anything about that phone or the way mobile phone companies work over there but if they are anything like what we have in the UK, you could just give them a ring and try and find out when it will become available ... (read in full...)
Time is running out - is he being selfish?
Q. Hi, I am 33 and really, really, really want a baby. My issue is my husband keeps putting this off. His excuses are always, you are still smoking (true), you are recovering from surgery (true), you are going on a holiday with girlfriends soon...
A. 21 August 2009: Well first of all stop giving him excuses not to have a baby! Quit smoking to start, then when you come back off holiday and you have fully recovered from surgery sit down and talk to him about this.
At the moment you are giving him reasons ... (read in full...)
How much money should I give my friend as a wedding gift?
Q. I was wondering how much money to give to a friend/colleague for her wedding. I have known her for nearly 2 years and have been invited to her wedding for the whole day. She struggles with money and said she prefers cash to vouchers which i...
A. 21 August 2009: It depends on how much you can afford really, but £50 would seem pretty reasonable to me! You havent known her that long so you dont need to go OTT, and with £50 you can get some nice things so I think that would be ok!
Hope this helps!... (read in full...)
Ladies, how much does your man spend on you each month?
Q. Ladies, how much does your boyfriend/fiance/husband generally spend on you each month? I feel like my fiance spends way too much money on me and I feel really guilty. Any advice or input is appreciated =)...
A. 21 August 2009: You are lucky to have found a man that wants to look after you and spoil you - enjoy it dont feel guilty! This guy is clearly very generous and wants to make you feel special - what is so wrong with that? I know it is his money and you might feel ... (read in full...)
I found out my boyfriend has been looking at pre-teen porn, what should I do?
Q. This is so hard and I have no one else that I can talk to about this. I am 20 and my I guess you can call him boyfriend(I am rethinking that) have been together almost 5 years. We have been arguing and I have been losing trust in him because he was ...
A. 21 August 2009: I'm sorry but this is a criminal offence and you should report him to the police. If you dont, you could get in trouble with the police too for witholding information. It is illegal to take pictures of children for sexual purposes, and it is also ... (read in full...)
Is it okay if a 24 year old has a crush on a girl that just turn 16 years old?
Q. Is it okay if a 24 year old has a crush on a girl that just turn 16 years old? Is it wrong for a 24 year old to masturbate to pictures of a 16 year old? There this neighbor that I know that is 16 years old and I am 24 years old. I can’t help but...
A. 20 August 2009: The age difference is quite large so people would frown upon this. But the weirdest thing is not that you are attracted to a 16 year old, but that you are printing pictures of girls off Facebook and masturbating to them! If I knew any guys were ... (read in full...)
He's 18 I'm 14, can he go to jail?
Q. I am currently talking to a 18year old and i am 14 and i would like to know if He could go to Jail??...
A. 20 August 2009: Where are you talking to this guy? If it is online there is no guarantee that he is even 18, he could be older!
Talking does not mean he could go to jail but if he has sex with you before you turn 16 then yes this is illegal and he could go to ja... (read in full...)
How do I get out of something I don't really want to be in?
Q. I met my girlfriend about six years ago and we've been together coming up 5 years now I think, but I feel like I've lost interest in the relationship. I don't know, cause she's a nice and lovely person. But things just keep coming up, like ...
A. 20 August 2009: Well maybe before you throw away 5 years of being together why not talk about how you are feeling with your girlfriend? It is so common for people in relationships to get bored or lose interest in a while, and think the grass is greener on the other ... (read in full...)
My partner decided to end our relationship but she cant afford to move out, what is the best thing to do?
Q. After 12 years with her she out of the blue said she didnt love me and wanted to split up.She said she can't afford to move out of our house and i can't afford any money to buy her out or move out myself ( i pay all the utility , mortgage etc). I ...
A. 20 August 2009: I know the recession is making things difficult in the housing market but it is certainly better now than it was 3 months ago, so there would be no harm in putting it up for sale and seeing what sort of interest it gets. If after 2 months you have ... (read in full...)
My partner decided to end our relationship but she cant afford to move out, what is the best thing to do?
Q. After 12 years with her she out of the blue said she didnt love me and wanted to split up.She said she can't afford to move out of our house and i can't afford any money to buy her out or move out myself ( i pay all the utility , mortgage etc). I ...
A. 20 August 2009: Well I have a few more questions before I can give you any real advice!
1. Are you married?
2. Do you have kids?
3. Did she contribute financially towards purchasing the house?
4. Has she ever paid any of the mortgage, bills, etc?
5. Has ... (read in full...)
My take on why guys notice looks more than personality!
Q. The other night i was talking to my friend who's a girl and we got into the ever-so-popular "all guys are perverts" argument. She asked me why most guys usualy focus more on the looks or a girl than their personality. I had never really thought ...
A. 20 August 2009: I think it is a little bit of what you said combined with the fact the really we havent evolved all that much past our cavman/cavewoman instincts!
Back then, reproduction was the sole aim of humans being on earth, therefore it was the most imp... (read in full...)
Should I be this anxious going away from my g/f?
Q. Hi looking for a bit of advice as to how to deal with a situation. I am going away shortly for 5 days to a festival with my friends. I made the decision to go which wasn’t easy cause I have trust issues with my Gf. Its not her fault cause a...
A. 20 August 2009: What's the worst that could happen in 5 days?! You say you are worried she will meet someone and fall for them while you are away - that would take some doing to fall for someone in 5 days!
I always believe in trusting someone until they do somet... (read in full...)
I want a baby at 13
Q. the thing is i am 13 (14 on october the 26th) and i want a baby so much i cannot explain my feelings i know i am ready i have tryed to put it off by babysitting but that makes my feelings stronger i have looked it up on the internet and told my mum ...
A. 20 August 2009: She means because she lives in the USA her taxes wont be going towards paying for you and your baby. You see when a teenager has a baby you get benefits from the government to look after it because you cant afford to look after it yourself, but ... (read in full...)
Is my best friend jealous of my relationship?
Q. Im 29 and have been in a relationship with the love of my life for almost the past year now, we are living together almost 7 months and have both been in long term relationships before. I was once engaged before after a short relationship that ...
A. 19 August 2009: It sounds to me like she is mourning the loss of her single friend! If you used to do loads of things together when you were single and now she is choosing to hang around with single people, she clearly likes the single life and wants nothing to do ... (read in full...)
What happens to a woman if she has sex or masturbates?
Q. Dont laugh but ive been wondering for a while what happens to a woman if she has sex or masturbates . every porn ive seen the guy just comes all over the girl at the end and thats it. i read that women have orgasm so what happens and in some por...
A. 19 August 2009: Well I honestly believe that porn is to blame for the majority of men being so bad in bed! Porn is all they know so they think they have to perform exactly like the guys in the porn films do, and it is terrible for a woman!
Basically most men in p... (read in full...)
Choosing between 2 men - if I could roll them together then that would be the perfect man.
Q. Hi I am in love with 2 guys and both have asked me to marry them. How on earth do I choose? I was dating guy 1 but we broke up and I started dating guy 2. I have only dated guy 2 for 4 months where as I dated guy 1 for 1 1/2 years. The break...
A. 18 August 2009: I have been in this situation before, ironically with two guys that shared the same name! And what I came to realise is that if neither of them are your perfect man then you shouldnt marry either of them! I know both may seem great but at the end of ... (read in full...)
If you have Chlamydia, how long before you become infertile?
Q. Hi. I recently read that Chlamydia is sometimes a possible cause of infertility. What i want to know though is, how long should one have this silent disease for them to be medically declared infertile?...
A. 18 August 2009: It sounds like you want to get Chlamydia and that you want to be infertile! If so there are much safer ways to do this - if you dont ever want children then go to your doctor and say that you want to be sterilised (some people call this getting your ... (read in full...)
I'm not the "hot chick" I want to be for my band or my boyfriend!
Q. This will sound like a very, veru vain question, but I really need to know. Ok, so I'm the front woman in a band; I play guitar and sing. My bandmates are all guys. One of them is my BF. Anyway, the thing is, our music is good, I don't mean to sound ...
A. 18 August 2009: Ok first of all losing weight is a bad idea, you are a perfect weight for your height! From the sounds of things, your body shape is small on top and larger on the bottom; so guess the first place you would lose the weight from? The correct answer ... (read in full...)
I'm in a new relationship and worried I may have gotten an STD! I don't want this to ruin things!
Q. I recently became involved in a relationship with the most incredible woman and things have been going very well. However, lat week I began not feeling so well downstairs and became concerned that I might have contracted and STD. I have held off ...
A. 18 August 2009: If the results do come back positive then you just need to tell her what you have told all of us. Explain that you havent had unprotected sex for a year, that you have no been unfaithful etc. And when you do get your results (if they are positive) ... (read in full...)
Why do I burn after sex?
Q. I'm 16 and ii been haveing sex with my boyfriend WITHOUT a condom and we have sex 10 times a day so i was wondering why my pravit part burns after we finish ???...
A. 18 August 2009: Well 10 times a day will make you hurt quite a lot down there! If you are not using condoms then there is a chance you have an STD, you need to go to your doctors and get tested.
I hope this helps!... (read in full...)
I want a baby at 13
Q. the thing is i am 13 (14 on october the 26th) and i want a baby so much i cannot explain my feelings i know i am ready i have tryed to put it off by babysitting but that makes my feelings stronger i have looked it up on the internet and told my mum ...
A. 18 August 2009: Sweety you cant get a job in the UK until you are 16. Each time you post a comment to all our answers you just keep on proving that you are not mature enough for a baby! And as for breast feeding - you can breast feed with large or small boobs, all ... (read in full...)
How do I resist smoking at this festival and not be a kill-joy?
Q. Hi All I'd really appreciate some good advice. I'm 30 and I quit smoking 5 weeks ago, after being a smoker of cigarettes for 15 years. During this time I have quit so so many times it's unreal, and obviously I've never suceeded but this tim...
A. 17 August 2009: I always find it quite funny to be sober (ish) whilst my friends are smoking weed because when you sit back and watch them they look and sound so stupid! So it definately doesnt ruin your fun, it actually makes the whole experience better because ... (read in full...)
What's the best way to tell her about my weight issue?
Q. Referring to question http://www.dearcupid.org/question/advice-for-meeting-a-girl-i-met-online.html What's the best way to approach/tell her about the weight thing?...
A. 17 August 2009: Well my first question would be has she seen a picture of you yet? If she has then she will at least know what you look like and what to expect. If she hasnt then maybe send her a pic so if she does change her mind at least it wont be as bad as if ... (read in full...)
Do you think he meant he didn't want a relationship, or just not a relationship with ME?!
Q. i really like this boy, we met on the internet and chatted for six weeks and then he came home ( hes in the army) for a few weeks and told me he doesnt want a relationship, he says his ex hurt him really bad and that he wants to be on his own. but ...
A. 17 August 2009: One minute your chatting and he says he doesnt want a relationship, and the next he tells you he wants a girlfriend? Makes no sense to me!
Generally from my experience when a guy tells you he doesnt want a girlfriend it means literally that - I... (read in full...)
Is there anything I can get from the doctor that would enhance my breasts?
Q. Im so sick of being depressed about the size of my breasts. Ive hated them for years as they are to small. And I promised my parents i'd hold back on surgery until I was 20. But even now I still hate looking at my self in the mirror I want clevage. ...
A. 17 August 2009: There is nothing you can do to make your boobs bigger without surgery. There are all sorts of claims that you can buy creams and take supplements etc but at the end of the day we are born with the body we have so no amount of tablets or creams can ... (read in full...)
Would there be a problem with a 19 year old going out with a 15 year old?
Q. Well, I met this girl at a party I recently went to. We had a good laugh and joke plus a nice talk together, cuddle and kiss. Last night I took her to the cinema to watch a film she wanted to see, paid for her and everything including picking her up ...
A. 17 August 2009: Well when I was 16 I was in a relationship with a 21 year old so the gap was pretty big - and yes my parents were horrified at first but when they got to know him and realised we were actually serious about each other they were ok with it.
I gue... (read in full...)
I want a baby at 13
Q. the thing is i am 13 (14 on october the 26th) and i want a baby so much i cannot explain my feelings i know i am ready i have tryed to put it off by babysitting but that makes my feelings stronger i have looked it up on the internet and told my mum ...
A. 17 August 2009: Well perhaps try studying harder at school so you can actually spell and then one day when you do have a baby you can help it with its homework!
You must have read all the answers on here - not one person has told you it is a good idea to have ... (read in full...)
How long is sex supposed to last?
Q. probably a silly question, but how long do women prefer men to last in bed??? i suppose l am asking because in myself l dont believe l last very long at all. what got me thinking more about this is when my wife and i had separated for a period, ...
A. 17 August 2009: God if I was with some guy who lasted 3 hours I would have fallen asleep! Half an hour is about my maximum limit before I get bored and start hurting!
I was once with a guy who found it difficult to cum, and he took an hour and a half. Safe to ... (read in full...)
How can I stop the pain?
Q. I'm 15 I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years..we havnt had sex yet..I'm a virgin he's not...I'm ready 2 have sex with him..he's ready to..but I'm soo scared its gonna hurt...is there anything I could do to stop the pain?...
A. 17 August 2009: Well if you are ready for sex then you wouldnt be scared about the pain! If you are really scared by the prospect of having sex then maybe you should wait a little longer until you dont feel so scared! And just remember, it is illegal to have sex ... (read in full...)
My fiance has been seeing someone behind my back. What do I do?
Q. My fiancee has been seeing someone else behind my back. She has not had sex with him (according to her). She did tell me that she was attracted to him, and I let her know I was uncomfortable with her spending alone time with him. She bookmarked...
A. 17 August 2009: There is not a lot you can do I'm afraid if you want to keep hold of some self-respect and dignity - you have to leave her. Whether her cheating has been sexual or not; at the end of the day she is in love with someone else, and emotional cheating ... (read in full...)
What's wrong with my ex's new gf?
Q. My ex fiancee is the father of my child. His latest gf he met online and after meeting her a couple of times in person he introduced her to our son without even consulting me first. He took photos of her with our son and she put them up as her ...
A. 17 August 2009: I think you need to voice your concerns to your ex - he is totally in the wrong for introducing your child to her without speaking to you first.
Explain that while you are happy for them to get along, at the end of the day she cannot just make a n... (read in full...)
Is underage sex something you agree with?! I want opinions please!
Q. Ive decided to put myself out here after been severely infuriated by some 'adults' on this site who deem it appropriate for CHILDREN to be having sex from as young as 13! do you think its appropriate for a child of this age to be having sex?? they ...
A. 16 August 2009: I would never personally advise someone to do something illegal, just as I would never advise someone to have sex with a sibling (as we get asked so often on here!).
But in my opinion, having a legal age for sex is quite outdated. How can the ... (read in full...)
I want a baby at 13
Q. the thing is i am 13 (14 on october the 26th) and i want a baby so much i cannot explain my feelings i know i am ready i have tryed to put it off by babysitting but that makes my feelings stronger i have looked it up on the internet and told my mum ...
A. 14 August 2009: You are going to get some major criticism I hope you are ready for it!
I dont want to be one of the people who are nasty so I'm going to try my best not to be harsh. But even just from the way you write and spell, it is a clear indicator you are ... (read in full...)
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