A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Cutting a long story short, i was in a strip club on a stag do recently when a stripper kissed me on the mouth. It was for no longer than 2 or 3 seconds maximum (and probably less). She didn't put her tounge in my mouth and i certainly did not kiss her back. I was quite shocked and stunned. I didn't want to be kissed at all and i didn't consent to it (and no, i didn't enjoy it). Now i feel totally wracked with guilt. I feel really upset. I feel angry at myself for going in the first place, angry because i didn't have control and angry at the girl because i didn't want to be kissed by her (or anyone else for that matter)My girlfriend (of 5 and a half years) gave me her blessing as she knew it was only going to be a one off (i'd never been to a club before and never intended to go to one again). I don't know whether to tell her about the kiss. I've already told her that the strippers got far closer than i thought they would, or were even allowed to get(me niaive? yeah you'd better believe it). She knows how upset i am and has told me that there is nothing to forgive me for.Should i tell her or not?Will the guilt fade?
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female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (22 May 2009):
 It definately isnt cheating and I'm sure your girlfriend wont see it as cheating. You cannot help it that this woman kissed you and if it only lasted a couple of second well it wasnt even much of a kiss!
You clearly love your girlfriend and have done nothing wrong, with the exception of being a little naieve about strip clubs! I think you should tell her so you wont feel so guilty, she already knows you are uspet by the whole experience so she might be wondering what had happened to make you so upset, therefore by telling her the actual events it might reassure her too.
You have nothing to feel guilty about, this woman forced herself upon you and you did not kiss her back therefore you are the innocent party! If you girlfriend doesnt understand then I would be very shocked! The guilt will fade once you have got it off your chest - the only reason you are feeling guilty is because your girlfriend allowed you to go to this club and then something bad happened, you must feel like you have broken her trust when she was so good to you by being ok with the night out. But really, this is not your fault and you are not in the wrong.
I hope this helps!
A
female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries +, writes (22 May 2009):
 hun definately tell her it'll stop you feeling so guilty as you'll know it's off your chest rather than hiding it.
i mean she surely knows you love her and clearly you feel extremley disgusted by what happend and if you've never really been to a club before then she'll understand hun.
definately tell her though otherwise you'll be rattled with guilt for ages.
hpe this helps.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2009): Tell her. Tell her what you wrote here and she will understand. You already told her the girls got too close so tell her what happened and how.
I'm sure she will forgive you as you are full of guilt, but it was a rubbish kiss that meant nothing. If it was a full on french kiss that would be different. Tell her then you have nothing to conceal and work pass it.
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