A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have major trust issues! I've been with my boyfriend now for about 4 months and i love him very much. i don't think he has ever cheated on me and have no reason to believe he will. however he is going on a boys holiday next month and i'm finding it hard to entirely trust him as i know what guys can be like after a few drinks and when there in another country. also, my dad had an affair when i was very young so trusting guys has become even harder for me. it only makes my trust issue worse. does anyone have advice on how i can get over this trust issue? thanks...x
View related questions:
affair, cheated on me Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (22 May 2009):
 Boys holidays are difficult - I have one friend who has banned her boyfriend from going on anymore boys holidays because all his mates cheat on their girlfriends while they are out there!
But this is not the answer, my friend is massively jealous from an ex cheating on her and now believes that her new boyfriend (who is pretty much perfect for her and would do anything for her) will cheat on her. She is completely irrational about it and she knows it, but she cant help herself. And now all his mates take the piss out of him and dont really like my friend because of how controlling she is with him. Dont be that girl, it is not a good look!
Boys holidays involve lots of drinking and generally messing around and being boys. Only you know your boyfriend - I am guessing he has never done anything to make you not trust him, and that he treats you well and really loves you. If he feels this way then he will let his mates be idiots and he will be the one laughing at them when they make a fool of themselves! I bet him going on this holiday will just make him miss you loads and think that the next holiday he goes on he will want it to be with you.
I always believe that you should trust someone until they do something to make you not trust them. give him the benefit of the doubt here - you havent been together very long so if you are cool about this then he will think that you are an awesome girlfriend and that he is lucky to have you. Freaking out over it and texting him every 30 minutes while he is out there will only make him think you are paranoid and clingy. Just let him enjoy himself, and if you do start to worry while he is away then have a good moan to your friends rather than asking him what he is doing all the time.
It will only be for a week/2 weeks max, this isnt very long at all and before you know it he will be back with you. You will be able to tell when he gets back by his behaviour with you whether he cheated or not, so just trust him until he does something to make you suspicious. If he is a good guy like you think he is then you have nothing to worry about!
I hope this helps!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2009): I hate to put it this way given the number of times you used the word 'trust' in your question, but you're going to have to trust him on this.
He's going away with the boys, and he's going to remain faithful or he's going to cheat. Your choice is to tell him not to go, or to let him go and have faith. He's not your Dad.
...............................
|
