A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:I'm a 48-year-old man, my wife's 46, and we've been married for 21 years.Yesterday I found out that my wife has been having an affair. A very close friend of mine who works as a delivery driver ("white van man" to us British people!) said he'd seen her at the local high school picking up this lad with a piercing in his eyebrow. He was on his way to a delivery at the time when he saw this. He told me that he'd seen him kissing my wife.I've heard that it's an open secret that this lad has been having an affair with my wife for over 6 months now. If it's such an open secret I'm surprised that I didn't know and how she managed to keep it that well-hidden, as there's been nothing in my wife's behaviour that would make me even suspect she'd been having an affair.My wife's never cheated on me before, she's been so loyal to me, and our sex life's been normal, so I can't understand what's gone wrong.Apparently the lad she's having an affair with is a 17-year-old sixth former who's studying business systems.I don't get it - why would a 17-year-old boy want to date someone that old?My wife's gone, I tried phoning her mobile but no response. I only knew she was gone because of a note left in the hall saying "On holiday with friends for a week. See you later", but I'm not sure I can trust her.I don't want to be jealous (normally I'm not, I usually trust her) but I'm wondering what this guy has got that I haven't - I keep myself fit, I'm in shape, people say I look 10 years younger, so why the affair?This whole situation is freaking me out and worrying me, so where do I go from here??Dave
View related questions:
affair, cheated on me, jealous, kissing, sex life Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, bombastic +, writes (7 October 2009):
hi dave, same thing happend to me dave many years ago, but now my wife is back and we have been very happy many years after this event, sometimes dave we all do silly things once in our lives, we are allowed that my wife knew she made the biggest mistake of her life and plus this guy is only 17 a child compared to your wife she will soon tire of his lack of maturity. advice, well its hard to advise anyone but just dont do anything that you may regret later handle it in a calm manner as you will be thought of better for it much later as events unfold, good luck my friend.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2009): well have her bags pasked and kick her out. if she wants to f*ck the 17 yr old, let her . why should you put up with her affair. if it was any other ma they would go ballistic. you sau you are not the jealous type, you don't have to be jealous but at least have some self respect for yourself, even if your wife doesn't have any for you. you cannoot trust her any more, she has been hoodwinking you and her number is up. you need to have the balls to be a man now and don't let her get away with this.
gone fora week, no contact with her, phone of - wow, what else has she been getting up o. it is an open secret that this 17 yr old is f*cking her, don't blame your frined for telling you the truth, at least he had the guts to tell you. everyone else knows the truth and are laughing at you. its time to put her out like the trash she is believeing like. she has f*cked around for the last time, and fo rthe last time you have been made a fool. you just need to be man enough to put her out. it will be hard but at least you will give her the message, loud and clear.
DO NOT let her turn this around and shift blame. if she is adult enough to f*ck with a teenager then she must be adult enough to take the consequences of her sordid actions.
good luck and be strong. if you need moral support please post again. take care.
...............................
A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (22 May 2009):
 It doesnt sound like you can trust her if she goes off on a so called holiday with friends without even telling you before she goes! That sort of behaviour is very unusual - has she done this before? I cant understand how someone in a marriage would just dart off on holiday like that before they have even spoken to their other half!
I guess in your situation you have to decide who to believe - your wife or your friend? I guess in a marriage you are always supposed to believe your partner above everyone else, however if this is a close friend of yours why would he lie to you about something like this? I wouldnt normally suggest this but I think you need to see her cheating for yourself before you accuse her of an affair, maybe you should go to the school and see if she is there picking him up again?
If you just confront her now without evidence then she will deny it all and be angry with you for believing your friend over her.
It doesnt sound likely that a 17 year old boy would want an affair with a 46 year old woman but then again he might find it exciting and enjoy whatever she is giving him?
And as for what he has over you, I have no idea on this one. When I think of a 17 year old boy I cringe at the idea of even having to talk to one and I am only 22! They are so immature, moody, barely able to communicate...the list goes on. I cannot see how a woman who has been married for 21 years would want to throw that away for a 17 year old boy, but each to their own I guess.
It does seem pretty unlikely that she is having this affair, if there are no signs that you have picked up on and the age difference suggests that it isnt true. But once again, why would your friend lie? I think you need to find out the truth by doing a bit of sneaking around. I know its pretty horrible to have to do that but it is better than accusing her of something she didnt do, and you do need to find out once and for all.
I hope this helps and good luck!
...............................
|
