A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Is this a bad idea?Recently I met a girl through a dating website. I think we both have a lot of things in common and our friendship has grown over the past few weeks. We arranged to meet up last week, but a couple of nights before hand she got very nervous about the idea and called it off. She's had problems meeting guys before. She met several guys through the same site, all of which she grew feelings for, slept with, but afterwards they never spoke to her again.I would never do that to her, and the thought of other people out there doing that to her makes me sick.Recently we joked about the idea of meeting each other casually instead of on a date. Last night she mentioned that she is going to a theme park with her friends tomorrow. Since then, an idea has struck me, and I came up with the idea of taking my sister to the same theme park tomorrow. Where me and this girl will have the chance to meet casually as spoke about the other night.Before I talk about the idea with her, I want to know what you think. Is this a good idea, or do you think it's creepy? I don't want to scare her, and the last thing I want to do is seem like a stalker! If you think this is a good idea, how can I run the idea by her? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell, I went ahead with my plans. I didn't see her all day at the park until the very end of the day. I saw her waving to me just after the last ride of the day finished.
We didn't speak for long. Just a quick chat about how each other's days had gone. We had a bit of a joke and a laugh as well which was nice. Very short, but sweet. I don't think meeting each other did any harm at all. Whether it will do anything positive for us is another story. Time will tell on that one.
Thanks for all the advice!
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (18 June 2009):
 I don't think it is a bad idea. Though I think I would start out with a couple of VERY short coffee "dates" first. It would kinda suck if you pay a good amount of money to go to the park and then not "clicking".
Meet her for lunch or coffee. ( Make the "date" super short (45 min- 1 hour) then CALL each other or talk face to face it is 100 times more personal then IM/Text/E-mails.
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A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (18 June 2009):
 Personally I don't think it would be a good idea as you are only just getting to know the girl. If you have your sister alongside and her friends are there, it could all be too much tension for a casual date situation. I think you should ask her out somewhere you can both chat together alone - a cafe bar or something like that. I would also add that you should take time to get to know her in the real world as online relationships can be very deceptive - she may not be the girl you think she is (and vice-versa). Good luck!
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (18 June 2009):
 Hmm I think it could come across as a little creepy to her. I know you have good intentions and you are thinking along the right tracks but it is a bit last minute and she might think you are following her around!
She will be there with your friends and you will take your sister, so you wont really get the chance to talk properly and get to know each other better.
I think maybe you should suggest you meet up next week, but instead of the normal "date" where it can be a little formal, suggest you meet during the day. Maybe take her out for lunch, or a picnic in a nice park somewhere (the weather on Tuesday is supposed to be pretty nice!). Even going out for a walk somewhere will keep it pretty casual and relaxed, and with it being during the day there will be none of the whole "should I ask him/her to come back to mine" element where sex would be involved.
You seem like a great guy and I'm sure she will see this as soon as she meets you!
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
female
reader, Olivia(Y). +, writes (18 June 2009):
 I think thats a great idea!
Its not formal and you can kinda relax when your not on the rides. Its also gives you an excuse to hold her hand if it gets scared.
The second time i met my boyfriend we went to Thorpe park and it was one of the best days of my life i had so much fun!
Just say to her do you want to meet at a theme park, i bet you she will say yes :)
Good luck
Livia
xoxox
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