Like what
she writes?
... Add *_c100 to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *_c100 a private message | | | *_c100's profile:About me.....
I feel I have made enough mistakes in my life to hopefully help people when they get into a similar situation. This site is fantastic just for getting your feelings off your chest and to get some advice from people who wont judge you, I really enjoy just being a part of this and helping in any way I can!
I will happily admit that I dont have vast amounts of wisdom on marriage, bereavement and many other topics but I would never respond to a question where I feel I dont have enough personal experience to help in any way.
I hope you find some hope and meaning in my advice but always remember, do what feels right to you in your heart, not what someone tells you to do on here. We are only here to help, the hard bit is for you to make the decision yourself! |
|
| Latest articles: Male Vs Female; A Debate On The Male Obsession With A Woman’s Past
This question has 33 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 August 2009: After recently seeing a large number of posts on this site from men asking how to deal with a woman’s sexual past, I wondered why men were so concerned with something that at the end of the day, cannot be changed. So I entered into a conversation ...
For all those teenagers worried if they may be pregnant/got their girlfriend pregnant...!
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 February 2009: After reading many posts on this website recently from worried teens about whether or not they are pregnant, I would like to offer some advice to you all. 1. If you have had a period after the incident then it is highly unlikely you are pregnant...
|
Male Vs Female; A Debate On The Male Obsession With A Woman’s Past
Q. After recently seeing a large number of posts on this site from men asking how to deal with a woman’s sexual past, I wondered why men were so concerned with something that at the end of the day, cannot be changed. So I entered into a conversation ...
A. 5 February 2010: Thanks for adding that in Yos, great answer as always! I was going to try and defend myself after Calico's input but I am in no way as patient as you are and I find arguing against someone who is clearly set on their views with complete disregard ... (read in full...)
Male Vs Female; A Debate On The Male Obsession With A Woman’s Past
Q. After recently seeing a large number of posts on this site from men asking how to deal with a woman’s sexual past, I wondered why men were so concerned with something that at the end of the day, cannot be changed. So I entered into a conversation ...
A. 5 February 2010: Just like to reiterate what I said at the top of my original post
"After recently seeing a large number of posts on this site from men asking how to deal with a woman’s sexual past, I wondered why men were so concerned with something that at the ... (read in full...)
Male Vs Female; A Debate On The Male Obsession With A Woman’s Past
Q. After recently seeing a large number of posts on this site from men asking how to deal with a woman’s sexual past, I wondered why men were so concerned with something that at the end of the day, cannot be changed. So I entered into a conversation ...
A. 3 February 2010: Accountable - I couldnt agree with you more.
As for evolutionary psychology - I think as with most psychological theories there are elements of it that work, and other elements that do not. I think it explains quite a lot and is relevant when loo... (read in full...)
Male Vs Female; A Debate On The Male Obsession With A Woman’s Past
Q. After recently seeing a large number of posts on this site from men asking how to deal with a woman’s sexual past, I wondered why men were so concerned with something that at the end of the day, cannot be changed. So I entered into a conversation ...
A. 3 February 2010: Well Calico58 - It seems that you have not done much reading on evolution or just simply choose to ignore the scientific evidence that has mounted over the last couple of hundred years proving evolution happened! Here are a few links that if you ... (read in full...)
Male Vs Female; A Debate On The Male Obsession With A Woman’s Past
Q. After recently seeing a large number of posts on this site from men asking how to deal with a woman’s sexual past, I wondered why men were so concerned with something that at the end of the day, cannot be changed. So I entered into a conversation ...
A. 2 February 2010: Calico58 - I would be fascinated to hear this evidence against the evolutionary theory and that we did not evolve from animals, in all my reading I dont think I have come across any other theories that argue against evolution, with the exception of ... (read in full...)
If my teacher broke up with his girlfriend would I have a chance with him?
Q. My last year teacher got involved with a senior girl two years ago and they've been dating since, but for the last year they've been kind of on and off. I really have a huge crush on him. He did get into trouble for dating a student but he got to an ...
A. 8 September 2009: If he calls you gorgeous and hugs you then this is innapropriate behaviour for a teacher and should not be allowed to continue this. Regardless of how he started this relationship with the other girl he abused his position as a teacher by starting a ... (read in full...)
If my teacher broke up with his girlfriend would I have a chance with him?
Q. My last year teacher got involved with a senior girl two years ago and they've been dating since, but for the last year they've been kind of on and off. I really have a huge crush on him. He did get into trouble for dating a student but he got to an ...
A. 8 September 2009: This guy is a paedophile and should not be allowed to work in a school ever again! I'm shocked that he was allowed to continue teaching after his relationship with a student - this is not OK! And the fact he calls you gorgeous and hugs you?! I ... (read in full...)
Adults: Were you really in love as a teenager?
Q. I am fifteen years old and I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for ten months. We have been in a long distant relationship for seven out of those ten months. Sometimes I feel like I love him so much it's unbearable, and I miss him s...
A. 8 September 2009: This is a really interesting question!
Now I am 22 and I had my "first love" aged 15. At the time he was my world and I thought I would never be able to live without him. 12 months into the relationship we split up, and I was devastated. I would ... (read in full...)
Is my hymen broken?
Q. I had sex for the first time ever a few nights ago with my boyfriend. It did hurt but not alot and there was blood, does this mean my hymen had already broken or is there a chance that it is still there? My boyfriend is very understanding and we ...
A. 7 September 2009: Even if there was no blood, I'm still 99% certain it will have broken. Like I said before - there are lots of things that can break the hymen even without you realising it so the chances are you have broken it in the past before you had sex!
Dont ... (read in full...)
Am I too big up top? My partner said I could do with losing a little weight!
Q. Hi, Guys, can I ask you a question I am a size UK 8, I think a US size 6 on my bottom half, my top half is a 34D UK size Is this good, I mean am I too big up top??? 34 D, good size or too much??? as my partner has said maybe I need ...
A. 7 September 2009: Well a US size 6 is a UK size 10? So even if you are a UK size 8-10, there is no way on earth you need to lose weight! Millions of women would love to be your size!
It sounds like you are pretty slim with good size boobs - thats like every wo... (read in full...)
Am I right not to want her at my wedding?
Q. Hi I am getting married next may. Next week we are having our engagement party. We have been together for 2 yrs. I have not met his 2 best friends yet as they live interstate. They will be coming to the engagement party. One is his best mate who...
A. 7 September 2009: Its difficult because you say she is his best friend (one of two anyway). So I imagine that your best friends will be attending the wedding, therefore it is a little harsh if his best friend cant attend.
I dont think your being unreason... (read in full...)
Is my hymen broken?
Q. I had sex for the first time ever a few nights ago with my boyfriend. It did hurt but not alot and there was blood, does this mean my hymen had already broken or is there a chance that it is still there? My boyfriend is very understanding and we ...
A. 7 September 2009: If you have had sex then the hymen will be broken! The hymen is pretty easy to break - if you use tampons then you could have broken it without even knowing! Sports like horse riding and gymnastics also can break the hymen, so there is a chance you ... (read in full...)
I thought he really liked me but then I found out he has a wife and kids!
Q. i have felt so empty lately i guess. the reason is because i like this guy named Kent. Kent is 28 years old. I am 18 years old. Kent used to work at my school as a security guard. when i was in 9th grade i saw him but never paid any attention to ...
A. 7 September 2009: What will you achieve by telling him how you feel? Do you honestly think he will leave his wife and children (whilst she is pregnant) for a teenager?
Think about this properly - you have a crush on an older man who has never given you any sign... (read in full...)
Male Vs Female; A Debate On The Male Obsession With A Woman’s Past
Q. After recently seeing a large number of posts on this site from men asking how to deal with a woman’s sexual past, I wondered why men were so concerned with something that at the end of the day, cannot be changed. So I entered into a conversation ...
A. 4 September 2009: I totally agree, acting proud of your sexual exploitations in the past is a recipe for disaster, it just shouts "I slept around and loved it!". I think my approach for the future will be to not bring the subject up (I never like to talk about my ... (read in full...)
Male Vs Female; A Debate On The Male Obsession With A Woman’s Past
Q. After recently seeing a large number of posts on this site from men asking how to deal with a woman’s sexual past, I wondered why men were so concerned with something that at the end of the day, cannot be changed. So I entered into a conversation ...
A. 4 September 2009: Well thanks for the replies everyone! It is great to hear all of your opinions on the matter!
Now more specifically to Code Warrior, I would like to respond to your post. You make some very valid points and it is good to see the more "emotion... (read in full...)
I need reassurance that I'm NOT pregnant!
Q. Hi, i hope you can reassure me that i'm not pregnant because it really is the last thing i need right now. I had unprotected sex 3rd July, and i was getting ALOT of signs of pregnancy, even to what i thought was implantation bleeding (light ...
A. 4 September 2009: It all sounds very odd to me! You took a pill? Do you mean you are on the contraceptive pill or are you just taking a pill at random times of the month to try and mess with your body? Because if you are ON the pill, as in taking it every day like ... (read in full...)
I'm ready for having sex but I'm really ashamed of my body!
Q. Basically I have a guy friend that I used to (and still do) fancy quite loads, and recently we've started to talk more which I love. All of a sudden, we started getting onto the subject of sex - which I really, really don't mind at all! After a ...
A. 4 September 2009: This all sounds so wrong! So you have discussed being "friends with benefits" yet you say you "really like him" and "love your relationship"? That is a complete contradiction of what friends with benefits actually is! To be FWB you need to have no ... (read in full...)
Together for 6 years and replaced in 2 weeks... will he ever come back?
Q. Recently my boyfriend of 6 years left me. We lived together for most of that time and spent every hour of the day together apart from when we were at work. He said he didnt love me anymore and moved out. With tears in his eyes he asked me not to ...
A. 3 September 2009: I'm so sorry, this must be so awful for you. But the sad reality is that he has left you for another woman - the relationship is over. For good. He is never coming back, and even if he wanted to come back you should never let him back in your life ... (read in full...)
Help!!! He wants to take my virginity at 13!!!
Q. hi my name is kylie, i have a boyfriend and i dont think he loves me. all he really wants to do is take my virgintiy away from me, and it scares me. PLEASE help me im scared!...
A. 3 September 2009: Well the simple answer is to dump him! Just get rid of the idiot, there is no need to have someone like that in your life!
You are right to be scared - you dont want to lose your virginity to a jerk like him! Your first time should be special,... (read in full...)
I feel so ugly, how can I look better?
Q. Gah... how should I start this off... (I'm not so good at writing these haha...) well... Pretty much starting two years ago, I have been feeling ugly. Not only that, but I know I have gained a lot of weight and it shows, which makes me even ug...
A. 2 September 2009: Ok first things first, you are 13-15. You have just entered puberty and for the next few years, you will hate your body and the way you look, that is totally normal! It happens to all teenagers - when you hit puberty everything seems to go wrong ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend is selfish in bed, should I break up with him?
Q. I care about my boyfriend, but in bed there is no satisfaction. He won't do things for me and I'm beginning to think that he is very selfish. Although he asks me what I want him to do, I don't feel like he will listen so I don't bother. I'm s...
A. 2 September 2009: "Although he asks me what I want him to do, I don't feel like he will listen so I don't bother." Read that back to yourself - your clearly not giving this poor guy a chance to make amends! He clearly wants to know what you enjoy in bed so he can... (read in full...)
Help! I'm worried about smelling "down there"!
Q. help! ive been hooking up with this guy and hes really lovely. but ive never had anything done to be by a guy before (if you know what i mean) and im really paranoid about smelling down there! sorry to be graphic. but i think something might be ...
A. 1 September 2009: If it does smell bad then you really do need to see a doctor - the chances are you have thrush or another bacterial imbalance and that will need to be treated, therefore a doctor is your only option. There is no need to be embarrassed, the doctor ... (read in full...)
I'm really scared about getting my period...help!!
Q. i am really scared about my period i am 13 and still have not srated what should i do...
A. 1 September 2009: Every girl is different so dont worry too much about not starting your period yet. If you have still not started your period by the age of 18 then it is time to get a little worried but for now just be patient and it will come when it is ready.
... (read in full...)
Is my girl using me?
Q. Ever since i let my girlfriend move in with me she has changed so much. When we first met she was active, sporty and outgoing but ever since she moved in with me she has changed so much. She don't goto the gym anymore, she never does housewor...
A. 1 September 2009: I think you certainly should talk to her but perhaps in a more gentle way than you have said on here, and you really shouldnt mention the weight issue right away unless you want her to go on the defensive right from the start.
Tell her that you... (read in full...)
I'm scared to have sex, but he told me there is nothing to be afraid of. Is that true?
Q. this boy i like i told him i loved him and he said he loves me too. i was like omg he loves me, and he sed that he wants sex with me all the time and i said im scaird to and he said thers nothing to be afraid of. is that true i have nothing to be ...
A. 28 August 2009: If he says he wants to have sex with you all the time....then that is a warning sign that he is only interested in you for one thing!
Uncle Phil is right - there are lots of problems that can come along due to having sex. But when it is with the... (read in full...)
I'm worried the condom may have split and I cant take the morning after pill!
Q. I had sex with my bf last night and it was dark and we arent sure if the condom split.i am on a type of drug for my skin so i cant get the morning after pill and we arent sure if it split. What shall i do?i have no idea!...
A. 28 August 2009: Well have you looked at the condom in daylight?! If you have put it in the bin I suggest you get it out of the bin and have a close look to see if there is a tear or hole.
If you for some reason have no longer got the condom (I dont know why you ... (read in full...)
Was I right to break my girlfriend's ex's leg and jaw because he used to hit her and cheat on her?
Q. look im a 15 year old kick boxer. i been with this girl ever since elementry i really like her. I broke her ex boy friends jaw and leg because he cheated on her and he hit her a couple of times. am I right or wrong....
A. 28 August 2009: If you have been with her since elementary school then how can she have had an ex boyfriend?! That makes no sense!
Regardless, you have broken someone's leg and jaw therefore you are most certainly in the wrong. You have committed a crime and this... (read in full...)
I'm not sure how long I have to wait - after I take the pill - to have sex?
Q. Last night, I had sex with my boyfriend and I'm on the pill. I've been taking it for a while now, about three months, but I'm not sure how long i have to wait after I take it to have sex. I waited an hour, was that enough, or am I screwed? HELP...
A. 28 August 2009: As long as you take your pill at roughly the same time each day then you are covered 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. The pill works by stopping the ovaries releasing an egg so there is nothing for the sperm to fertilise. Now the body only releases 1 ... (read in full...)
I am a virgin, but an ex took the "cherry" from me in another way, should I tell future boyfriends?
Q. So, I know there's lots of posts around here about men and women being uncomfortable about their partners sexual history, and usually everyone just says to either not ask, or not give out details. I've never had sex before, so I am a virgin. I h...
A. 28 August 2009: I dont think there is any need to go into detail - the hymen is pretty easily broken so any new partner you have wont think anything of it if you dont bleed or they dont break your hymen. Using tampons, sports such as gymnastics and horse riding can ... (read in full...)
How can we avoid catching STI's/STD's when having sex?
Q. im 16 years old im a male and im wondering about a question. my girlfriend is worried about stds and i need some advice about avoiding problems like that i was wonderin if anyone can help me with advice about hygien what should i do? i know about ...
A. 28 August 2009: Well hygiene has nothing to do with STD's - a sexually transmitted disease is caught from having sex and then passed on through having sex in your (or her) bodily fluids. So the only way to make sure you dont catch an STD is to have sex using ... (read in full...)
How should I feel about my girlfriend constantly talking to her ex-husband?
Q. I have been with this woman for 6 1/2 mths. we seem to get along about everything. she moved to my city to get away from her ex and start a new life. when we found each other we instantly clicked.we have been living together for a while ...
A. 27 August 2009: I'm afraid to say the big picture is......you are a rebound relationship. Surely you must realise that someone who has just left their husband is in no way emotionally ready for another serious committed relationship? You say you have been living ... (read in full...)
Do you think it's too soon to start trying for a baby?
Q. Hi, I'm 16 years old and I really want a baby. My fiance and I are planning our whole future. I am graduating a year early, we're moving in together in a year and are going to the same college and working part time jobs. I figured our finances and I ...
A. 27 August 2009: You sound very mature and sensible (apart from the pull out method but I'll let that one go!) so I hope you will be able to take on board what I am about to say (although if you are pregnant already it will be irrelevant anyway!).
Yes it is too s... (read in full...)
Can you stop taking the pill, then start again when you know when you are next having sex?
Q. Hello, I have a very simple question. I am on the Pill (Yaz) and have been for the last 4 months. I will only be seeing my boyfriend in 4 months (december) and was wondering if I could like , pause on the pill and then start re taking it again....
A. 27 August 2009: Twistedbaby420 is spot on! I once went to my doctor when I was single (that only lasted a few months) and I asked whether I should come off the pill for the time being and go back on it when I started seeing someone again.
She said that was a re... (read in full...)
My daughter is dating a much older man
Q. I need advice from people I don't know. My daughter is 19, and will be 20 in March. She dated a guy more her age, but he didn't treat her like a man should. She met another guy that is 31, will be 32 in September. This guy has teated her so good. ...
A. 26 August 2009: Well she is technically an adult and she is legal, so really in the eyes of the law there is nothing wrong with this. If he treats her right and makes her happy, then really there is no problem.
I know it is a large age gap and as a mother i... (read in full...)
6 strangers, 6 one-night stands and no condoms! And yet she still shows no remorse!
Q. How would you feel if you found out the women you love had slept with 7 guys before you, but... 6 of them were one night stands in the space of 2 years, and no protection was used? What does that say about the women you love and who she used to ...
A. 26 August 2009: Hmmm well this is a tough one, and as you have probably noticed this type of question has come up a lot on here recently!
I personally am ok with one night stands - they can just be a bit of fun and you leave feeling sexy and fulfilled sexually... (read in full...)
Girls: would you prefer for guys to shave all their pubic hair or trim it?
Q. i'm 14, do you think that i should shave my pubic hair fully of or should i just trim it, this questioni is mainly aimed at the girls reading this...
A. 26 August 2009: Just trim it, there is no need to shave it all off! If you shave it off then it becomes prickly and uncomfortable (for both you and the girl) so trimmed is always best!
Hope this helps!... (read in full...)
I've just had an abortion, and I'm having trouble coming to terms with it
Q. I've decided to have an Abortion.. how will I ever get through it? I feel so hopeless. My boyfriend broke up with me. I feel so alone. I didn't want this, but I know it's the best choice for me. I am young.. and my boyfriend (well ex) is a big ...
A. 26 August 2009: Sweety I am so sorry for some of the answers you have recieved on here, please dont let any of these awful judegemental people get to you. By the sounds of things the Moderators have made a slight error here so people have got a bit confused ... (read in full...)
After finding out what he did, I don't know if I love him
Q. so i'm 21 and have been with my bf (who is also 21) for almost 4 years. about a year after we started dating I went to a guys house that I worked with and made out with him, the next day I told my bf what happened (but not all the details) he ...
A. 26 August 2009: Well to put it simply if you ever loved him then it would have never crossed your mind to even go back to another man's house, let alone make out with him. So you didnt love him enough back then to refrain from cheating, so do you feel more or less ... (read in full...)
Is this an STD? Cancer? I'm scared!
Q. I am 16 and about 3 months ago me and my boyfriend started having sex. The first time we didn't use a condom (I know it was stupid, please don't lecture me on it :/ And he withdrew before he was about to finish) We were both virgins and had ...
A. 25 August 2009: I really dont think this is cancer so dont worry about that! If you are both virgins then it is unlikely you could have an STI either. There are a few things it could be, most likely thrush or something like that. I suggest you go to your doctor and ... (read in full...)
She told me I must get her pregnant in the next few weeks and we've never had sex!
Q. I'm 18, left college, going to university in September, my girlfriend's 17. She's told me I must get her pregnant in the next few weeks. I told her this is just not going to happen, and I said I will leave the relationship if she attempts this. ...
A. 25 August 2009: You sound like you have had a lucky escape from this one!
Seen as you have now broken up with her I think she will eventually leave you alone, it might take a couple of weeks but she will eventually get the picture. You are going away to uni so i... (read in full...)
What do men prefer thongs or knickers?
Q. Okay this is kind of two questions in one, but bare with me. First of all I'm in a relationship with a guy who's 4 years older than me (I'm 15, he's 19) but I met him because he's my best friend's brother, so I got to know him around his family, so ...
A. 25 August 2009: While I am not a guy, I have enough experience to be able to give you some ideas about what men find sexy!
First of all, the whole shaven vs hair issue - most men dont really care unless it was a wild bush! Just give it a trim and make sure it ... (read in full...)
Dating! How do I get this guy interested in me again?
Q. alright... so afew months ago i met my "dream guy" (like seriously, the guy who i've been hoping to find for like ever) and of course i had sex with him on the 3rd date. I know ur supposed to hold out, but i didn't. since then we went out afew more ...
A. 25 August 2009: Your 13-15 and have already had sex with this guy who is apparently your "dream guy"?! Wow, things have changed since I was that age!
Well for a start these "games" that you are playing happen because you are both too young to be in a real rel... (read in full...)
Girls - Is a 6 inch penis big enough?
Q. I just turned 17 and currently have a penis size of 6 inches erect. girls is that good? also will my penis grow over the next couple of years as i continue to grow?...
A. 25 August 2009: To put it simply - yes 6 inches is good. Generally anything over 5 inches in considered good so you have nothing to worry about! Women are more concerned with a man's ability in bed and their knowledge of a woman's body not the size of his penis. As ... (read in full...)
Women aged 20-29 - please answer this!
Q. I've been seeing my gf for about 4 mos (I'm 39- shes 25) I know big gap. Anyway, about a month in -- we had "the talk" ---and I found out about her not so innocent past. It made me sick to find out she had slept with 15 other guys before me. ...
A. 25 August 2009: Well I absolutely despise reality TV so I think you may be a little stereotypical in your last post! I dont think that reality TV condones casual sex, I think the problem lies in the way young men are brought up thinking that they are "Studs" if ... (read in full...)
Could I be getting pregnancy symptoms 10 days after sex?
Q. i had sex 10 days ago and since yesterday i have been feeling differant eg. i sat down to eat a sandwitch witch my stomake was rumbling for so i sat down to eat it took one mouth full and felt sick and could not eat it anymore and i keep getting ...
A. 24 August 2009: Well there definately is a chance you could be pregnant then - even though he pulled out before he came there is something called pre-cum which contains sperm and this leaks out of the penis when the guy is really turned on, so the liklihood is that ... (read in full...)
I want my foreskin restored
Q. I hate being circumcised, I am not religious and I would like it if my foreskin was intact. I am afraid that girls do not like cut penises. Is there any way I can restore the foreskin. ...
A. 24 August 2009: Now I personally have never heard of a way to restore the foreskin - once it has gone its gone!
But I really dont know what you are worried about - women tend not to care much about what a guys penis looks like, it is what he can do with it that ... (read in full...)
How can I make the next time we have sex less painful? And how far inside is the hymen?
Q. I'm 18, and have been with my boyfriend 2 months. I'm a virgin, and until him I hadn't done anything sexually. We tried having sex last week but he only got in a couple of inches before I could take the pain no more. How can I lessen the pain? We ...
A. 24 August 2009: Its closer to the outside of the body - hence why it is easily broken with tampons, sports etc. If he went in a couple of inches then it was definately broken and you are not a virgin anymore!
As for next time, you just need to be really relaxed.... (read in full...)
Could I be getting pregnancy symptoms 10 days after sex?
Q. i had sex 10 days ago and since yesterday i have been feeling differant eg. i sat down to eat a sandwitch witch my stomake was rumbling for so i sat down to eat it took one mouth full and felt sick and could not eat it anymore and i keep getting ...
A. 24 August 2009: Well when you had sex was it unprotected? If you didnt use a condom or are not on the pill then there is always a chance you could be pregnant so wait until you miss your period to take a test. If you did use protection and nothing went wrong (i.e. ... (read in full...)
Women aged 20-29 - please answer this!
Q. I've been seeing my gf for about 4 mos (I'm 39- shes 25) I know big gap. Anyway, about a month in -- we had "the talk" ---and I found out about her not so innocent past. It made me sick to find out she had slept with 15 other guys before me. ...
A. 23 August 2009: well I think you have received some judgemental answers on here and no-one has actually answered your questions! So hopefully I will be able to help! The only thing I didnt like in your question was "I have forgiven her" - she had nothing to be ... (read in full...)
| *_c100's friends
These are mutual friends, so *_c100 has
added them and they have added *_c100!
|
