A
female
age
30-35,
*alu
writes:hi it's not really a love question but i hope you can help anyway.My friend *harry is being framed by this girl i used to be friends with *ellie. according to ellie, harry asked her for a topless photo of her over msn. she's told the police and i've already given my statement (i had to coz i introduced them to each other) that harry wouldn't do anything like this unless tempted. i know that harry wouldn't do something like this unless tempted because i've been friends with him for ages and his other mates all have said the same, yeah he flirts but he's got a flirty nature. but me and ellie have had numberous arguments with us ending up at each others throats with both of us calling each other liars. Ellie's lied about this sort of thing before (saying she's had sex with some guy in her dad's car when her dad doesn't have a car she also claimed she got raped but she didn't tell the police or her parents she just told the entire school) even though i know he didn't do anything (or if he did it's after ellie's been flirting with him) i know that it's his word against hers and people tend to side with the victim rather than the accused. He risks going to jail (the police don't believe his story even though ellie's doesn't add up) and ellie doesn't care.I know i shouldn't resort to violence but she makes my blood boil. what can i do to help harry? and what can i do about ellie?any help will be much appreciated.thanks in advancehalu xx
View related questions:
flirt, liar, msn, violent Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (2 December 2009):
 Well to be honest the police wouldnt be taking this seriously if they didnt find anything on his computer. So if she never sent a picture then technically he wouldnt have anything incriminating on his computer? So judging by the fact that the police are continuing with this case and have already taken his phone and his computer - they will have found something.
Her story does sound silly but then again if Harry's story is just as bad, and he refused to go to the police, it does sound like he is guilty if I'm honest. He clearly has something to hide and the police have found it - whatever it was. So I guess you are just going to have to let the law do its job, and if he has done something wrong then he does have to be punished for it. Child pornography is a serious crime and he shouldnt be allowed to get away with it - even if it has all come about because of one stupid teenage girl like Ellie. Regardless of the girl and her personality, it is still wrong to keep pictures of naked children on a computer, so he is in the wrong in my opinion.
Obviously you believe your friend and his story - but there are a lot of signs that point to him being the guilty party, and maybe for once Ellie has done the right thing by going to the police because he needs to be stopped - who knows what he could do to other children if he wasnt reported?
I understand that this is a very dodgy area and both stories dont seem to add up - but the only concrete evidence in this case is the fact that the police have taken his computer and phone, and are continuing with the case. That is the only thing you can trust in this situation - the police would not continue with a case without strong evidence that will stand up in court. So maybe it is worth asking Harry what they actually found on his computer? Maybe he will come clean about everything.
A
female
reader, halu +, writes (2 December 2009):
halu is verified as being by the original poster of the question thanks well as far as i'm aware she didn't send one anyway but then again according to her statement she turned her computer off and then harry asked if he could have a topless photo. i've tried explaining to her that this could cost harry his career (espesh as he wanted to join the navy).
the annoying thing is, is that i had a similar problem with someone i know similar circumstances, everything but i had more solid evidence about what happened and he only got a slap on the wrists, harry's got a lose story against him and he's looking at jail. it's unfiar
...............................
A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (2 December 2009):
Well unfortunately there is not a lot you can do to help him I'm afraid, just be a good friend to him, stand by him and support him throughout all of this.
The problem is that because she is under 16 (the legal age of consent) then even if she willingly sent him a topless photo it is still classed as paedophillia because of him being 17/18. If this does get to court then the way her lawyers will twist this is that he is a sexual predator using the internet to lure children (she is legally a child) and storing naked pictures on his computer.
If he did keep this picture rather than just delete it immediately then he has got himself a problem, and for him not to cooperate with the police is not going to have helped one bit. It makes him seem very guilty!
You could try having a civilised word with Ellie - she clearly is very young and immature and wont realise what impact she is having on Harry's life. Tell her that what she is doing will effect the rest of Harry's life - that if he gets convicted of this he will struggle to ever find a job, he will be on the sex offenders list for years to come, he will more than likely be physically harmed in prison by the other inmates as other prisoners always make life difficult for the ones that have been convicted of sex crimes against children. If you talk calmly and just try and show her exactly what she is doing if she proceeds with the case - maybe she might just realise that this isnt a silly game and she is messing with an innocent man's future.
But aside from that there is not a lot you can do - you have given your statement so you just have to sit back and wait. Dont get angry with Ellie or be violent towards her, that will only be more ammunition for her to use in her case and it will make it worse for Harry. You will just have to hope that either Ellie sees sense and drops the charges, or that Harry gets a very good lawyer who can point out all the holes in Ellie's story to the jury. But if this does make it to court - his chances of getting off for this are pretty slim. Conviction rates for sexual crimes against children are pretty high and the jury wont be very understanding towards Harry due to his age.
I hope this helps and good luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (2 December 2009):
 Ah didn't see the age thing when I replied. You wrote:
harry's now 18 but he was 17 when this all started and ellies 14/15, she's in my year
In most countries pictures ( topless or naked) of kids under the age of consent ( 15 in the UK I believe) is considered kiddie-porn, no matter if she volunteered them or he "conned" her into taking them, he is the "adult" of the two of them and therefor responsible. I'm guessing the only way he can get off on the charges is if she sent them out of the blue without having talked/chatted about nude/semi nude pictures.
Sorry I think your friend Harry is screwed.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (2 December 2009):
If Harry can print out all his conversations and she is under age, then maybe he can show proof of "innocence" - unfortunately YOU can't do much.
Something is seriously wrong with this girl, she needs help.
...............................
A
female
reader, halu +, writes (2 December 2009):
halu is verified as being by the original poster of the question1 the police had harry's phone, computer ect.
2 i don't know honestly but i had to talk to a DC from the internet paedophillia unit thingy.
3 harry's now 18 but he was 17 when this all started and ellies 14/15, she's in my year
4 i don't know why they don't believe him i think he refused to go to the police, they had to go find him also it was a while from when this happened to when he had to talk to the police when they spoke to ellie and me it was quite recent his story might have been a bit scetchy but i heard ellies statement, it didn't add up at all
anyway hope that helps :)
...............................
A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (2 December 2009):
Well first of all we need some more detail here before we can help:
1. Have the police got any evidence i.e. have they taken Harry's computer and found the topless picture on his computer?
2. What are the police charging him with?
3. How old is Harry and how old is Ellie?
4. Why dont the police believe his story?
If you could answer those questions that would be helpful!
...............................
|
