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writes: Ok since this has been a reoccuring theme on this site of late, I would like to settle once and for all, how often per week should a couple have sex.My theory is: 3 times combined with 3 times asking how her day was and back/foot rub. And one day down the pub to brag.What do you all think? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2009): i got the joke and thought it was pretty humourous. :) lighten up a bit folks, it wasnt a question to agonize over. It wasnt stand up comedy, just a bit tongue in cheek. I for one, enjoyed it. And i vote more than three, definitely. Back rub, asking about her/his day mandatory,...been married almost three decades...humor is a factor. pub is optional. *chuckling*
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2009): My little brain IS in a hot chick's body, honey!
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2009): Q...high five and well said. I was actually going to post on this matter but thought a) it wasn't particularly important and b) I half-expected to be set upon by an army of humourless vigilantes.
OK, Notsogreat's post may not exactly have been Bill Hicks in the humour stakes, but I thought the hysterical over-reaction was miles over the top. If anyone owes anyone a written apology, it isn't Notsogreat who should be sending it.
Re Steve's observations that 'If we need a laugh we certainly dont come on here'...this site has many useful purposes. Obviously it is primarily an advice exchange where people draw on their own experiences and intuitions to deliver helpful counsel to people with actual problems, in the hope that it makes a real and positive difference to their lives.
But DC should also be fun. I see nothing wrong with a laugh. In fact, I love a laugh. They say it's good for you. Whether or not Notsogreat's initial post tickled anyone's funnybone or fell flat on its face, it doesn't seem justification for savaging the poor guy. It started with a slap in the face from Emily (whose own attitude to males, as expressed on several posts, is perhaps not all that it might be) and turned into a spot of schoolyard bullying that didn't impress me one bit.
Just my opinion, of course. Diverse opinions are welcome on DC.
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male
reader, called Steve  +, writes (24 November 2009):
 Judging by how many responses thought your joke wasn't very good, I'd suggest posting another post, posting as an immature kid looking for a macro-sense-of-humour.
It's postings like this that simply drags down this site and wastes peoples time. If we need a laugh we certainly dont come on here... it's emotionally draining to give heart felt advice, not to mention in some cases traumatic.
I think you owe many people a written apology for wasting there time and insulting their intelligence, if you're going to attempt to gain back any modicum of respect.
Just my thoughts - and NO, its not a joke.
Steve
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female
reader, bitch  +, writes (24 November 2009):
Honestly, every couple is different. Every person has a different sex drive, and we are all unique in our desires. So that being said, there is no norm. You cannot even compare one couple to another. It is not possible.
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female
reader, natasia +, writes (23 November 2009):
 Personally my ideal is at least once a day and more on some days. My preference would be for always on waking, sometimes on sleeping (if not too tired), and the odd lunchtime. Definitely twice on Sundays.
But that's just me. I know a lot of people don't want/need it that much. However, my firm opinion is that sex is something you have to have a lot of. It should be a regular activity. Each day.
Having said that, if couples have sex 3 times a week that is probably kind of average for the cruising couple (ie, after honeymoon - at plateauing phase).
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThis post was a joke to give you all a laugh.
Not one of you got it, so I conclude that non of you bothered to read it properly. Also Im very dissapointed in how many personal insults were written.
Its my fault though I should have kept this sort of thing to the forums.
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female
reader, pancakes rule  +, writes (23 November 2009):
 There is no set number. You just do as much or as little as you feel like. Just take it day by day, maybe your both in the mood one day but not in the mood on another day. You can't force it, it has to feel right for both of you.
good luck
xx
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (23 November 2009):
 I'd be rather hesitant to "brag" at the pub if I were you. I mean what kind of idiot has to rub his wife's feet in order for her to allow him to have sex with her? You be laughed out the swinging doors, Buddy.
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female
reader, TheSoulAsylum +, writes (23 November 2009):
 I think you make it sound like a chore. What's wrong with some spontaneity? If I thought my partner actually had a set amount of times a week, and asking about my day because of some theory, I’d be really annoyed at them. Also, brag?
I think the amount of times of having sex a week is always different. It depends on your partner also, and what they want.
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male
reader, called Steve +, writes (23 November 2009):
This cant be a serious question right?
Why would a 30-35 year old be asking teenager questions?
Steve
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male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (23 November 2009):
 Should?
Wrong attitude I think.
And NEVER EVER do "I did ABC X times therefor you got to do DEF Y times" to a woman. Or to a man for that matter.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2009): Who knows... 1, 2, 7,21...... times a week?
I don't think there is any set amount and as long as your both happy that is all that matters
All depends what is going on with your life.
As for asking how my day was, isn't that just part of being together?
Hubby is 49, I don't he is down the pub bragging,
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female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (23 November 2009):
 This is a pointless question - because the answer is it varies for everyone! Some couples are very sexual and have sex every day of the week, but then again some couples dont have a particularly high sex drive and are happy with having sex a couple of times a month.
There are so many factors that are involved in having sex, so you can never say "right I think 3 times a week is best therefore we will continue to have sex 3 times a week for the rest of our lives". Some days you are tired, you are ill....eventually you might have kids.....there are so many things that can get in the way of having sex!
At the moment my boyfriend and I have sex every other day (on average) but we have only been dating for 2 months and we are still in the early stages of our relationship, so of course we will be having more sex now than we will in 5 years time (providing we stay together).
So there really is no way to settle this - there are too many variables and personal preferences to ever conclude there is one magic number of times per week to be having sex. As long as both partners feel sexually satisfied and are happy with their sex lives then they should just have sex whenever feels right for them, not when society or the media dictates. When one person starts to feel unsatisfied and wants more/less sex then thats when problems occur. So as long as the couple communicates and are on the same page sexually then that is all that matters.
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female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (23 November 2009):
Seriously?
You want to turn your sex life into a mathematical formula?
As a woman, I have to say that maths is possibly THE most UNSEXY thing.
If I knew my husband was counting up how many times he'd had to pretend to listen to my day, so he could demand an equal amount of sex in return I'd be appalled. And what about when I want more sex?? "Sorry darling, I've already had sex with you 3 times, you may be lying there in sexy underwear but I'm going to have to give you another back rub if I have sex with you and I really can't be bothered."
Do you even LIKE women? Or is it all just a big plan to get sex for you? Oh and I love that a major part of your sex life is getting mildly turned on with a group of men by discussing what you all get up to.
Seriously.... what are you doing with your love life?
Good Luck!! xx
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